I have watched a lot of TV - Phil Donahue, Montel Williams, Sally Jesse Raphael.
I have heard many horror stories and ... it was something I was not looking forward to.
I had imagined the worse.
I had tried to prepare myself.
I was not looking forward to the day that ...
My little children grew ...
Up ...
To be ...
Teenagers!
I was not looking forward to the day ...
That they would begin to roll their eyes at me ...
That they would become brave enough to talk back to me ...
That they might very well grow taller than me ... and look down into my eyes from a higher altitudes!
I was sure ... it would be traumatic!
I was certain it would be frightening!
SCARY!
But ...
But ...
Let me tell you ...
It is sometimes those things - YES.
But ...
But ...
Let me show you ...
Here is how it also is ...
(Make sure you turn up your volume)
Aren't they darling?!
Not only is it NOT all that scary ...
Not all that horrible ...
Not all that frightening ...
It's pretty darn WONDERFUL - most of the time!
Even FANTASTIC!
Even the FABULOUS loud Kelly Clarksonmusic coming from their room!
They are fun!
They are funny!
They are loving and social and happy!
They are a joy to have around!
I am so glad I was wrong.
I'm so glad that I am surprised that ...
I LOVE IT as much as I do!
Footnote: These two got their lisences yesterday, after many months of parent taught drivers ed. YAY for them and YAY for me for surviving this course! It will be a while before I let them loose driving on their own - but, we are one step closer to getting 2 more official drivers to help drive around here - YIPPIE!
Alexis, was my husband and my 17th wedding anniversary gift to one another. I remember a friend saying to me at the time I announced this news (that I was pregnant again) to him, "Have you looked in the mirror lately?" jokingly referring to my age.
I say it was my husband's fault, he says it was mine - this unplanned conception. He tells people that he, on the night in question, was like a fighter pilot ... coming in for a landing. He says he could see the landing deck, he could see the lights and he could see me ... waving him in.
I don't recall it exactly the same way. After seventeen years of marriage, I may have looked up to the sky and I am sure I saw the aircraft coming at me ... but, I'm not so sure I was waving him in.
But ... OH, what a gift Alexis has been! While she was nine years younger than our oldest daughters when she was born and ... my husband and I were ancient when we had her, she was the greatest surprise - the greatest gift!
I just love her to death! She tells me, "I love you as many as there are grasses in the world, as many as there are bees in the world, as many as there are leaves in the world, as many as there are cherries in the world and as many as there are eyelashes in the world."
I love her as much as all of these things, as well!
More often than not ... all the kids are around, and I can't get a moments peace.
And then some days ... I have only one kid or two kids ...
On this one day - it was just Alexis and I. The boy was with his father at work and the twins were at basketball practice.
Alexis strolled into the kitchen, climbed up on a bar stool and said, "Can we go out to eat tonight?" and gave a big smile.
"Oh, I don't know," I answered - truly believing the answer to this question was NO, but not wanting to (hear the SCREAMING just yet - HA!) discourage her hopes too quickly. "Daddy is not going to be home for a while and the girls are at practice," I continued washing the dishes in the sink.
Alexis whined a bit and then said, "Can you take just us?" she paused, "Your ... littlest daughter and Mom," she giggled sweetly.
How would I resist such a proposition? I said, "Maybe we will."
She got all excited and I guess she felt the need to offer something that she was sure might seal the deal and so she said, "I'll let you use my make-up."
On the upside ... Oh - I have been known to use bribery many, many times throughout the years of raising these children. I think this one was definitely trying to turn the tables.
We went - the littlest daughter and her mom - to Wendys. The mom wore a t-shirt, shorts and sandals and ... Strawberry Shortcake Shimmery Pink Lip Gloss on her happy lips. The back of her t-shirt read ... SUCKER!
I wanted to say thank-you to everyone that has left so many nice comments over that past week or so. I also want to apologize for not visiting too many sites.
You know I just got back from BlogHer on Sunday. Well ... since I've been back, I have had lots going on.
Alexis' Birthday is this weekend and so I have been shopping and planning for that.
My twins are in the midst of getting their driver's license and I have been spending A Lot of time driving with them and completing the course (it's a Parent Taught course I have been doing for months!). Hopefully, we will go next week to get their license and THAT WILL BE OVER - FINALLY!
I've been working with my son on getting his summer reading done for 6th grade.
I have been trying to get the tangles out of Alexis' hair that got in there over the weekend while I was gone - HA!
I've been busy!
I've been catching up on paying bills and working in my husband's office (I do the bookkeeping for our business), doing lots of laundry, yard work and mopping floors - sheeeew!
I've also been writing blog posts and working on starting up another blog.
YES - that's exactly what I need - ANOTHER BLOG!
But ... I am - it's called On The Flipside and I will put a post up on Saturday explaining a little more about it. I plan to have it up and running on Monday. I hope you all will go visit.
Once again - thanks so much for always visiting me and please know that I miss you and will be by as soon as I catch my breath!
My plane came in late last night and my husband and Courtney picked me up at 11:15 p.m. When we got home the kids were ALL awake and so I passed out gifts and we sat in the kitchen and talked to nearly 2:oo in the morning.
I think they missed me!
I have SO much to tell about the BlogHer conference and am planning on gathering my thoughts and putting together a post to wrap up my trip. I just have to say right now that I REALLY wish that all of the bloggers that I have become acquainted with over this past year - had been there for me to meet in person. I was fortunate to meet MANY of the bloggers that I have come to know and that was VERY COOL, but ... I could list 300 more of your all that weren't there that I REALLY WISH HAD BEEN!! That was, for me, the most exciting part of the whole conference - meeting people and getting to know new people.
I am EXHAUSTED and plan on spending the day catching up with my kids, my house, my husband and unpacking and such. It was a very long 4 days but I just LOVED every minute of it and am SO GLAD I WENT!!! I will post some more pictures and details of the trip soon.
I have to say - I woke this morning very tired - mentally and physically! I also woke up very happy. Content.
You have got to love a country - a WORLD - where you can be in San Francisco in a beautiful hotel in Union Square, in the morning - drinking coffee with friends ---- then down at Pier 39 looking across the bay at the Golden Gate Bridge, while sitting at a darling little restaurant eating your clam chowder and shrimp sandwich (YUM - WOW!) at noon ---- and then back in your very own kitchen sitting at the table surrounded by the children that you love the most in all the world ---- all ... in the same day.
I not only feel very grateful for this experience - I feel gratitude for my life - for the marvelous country we live in - for my sweet family. I also LOVED California (my first time there) and I LOVED San Francisco. I can't wait to go back!
I hope you all have been well while I have been out of pocket and am anxious to get back to visiting and ... BLOGGING!
I had a busy day here at the BlogHer conference. In and out of very interesting and informative sessions, meeting lots of people, picking up free SWAG - FUN!
I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting so many other bloggers. Being so close to so many women (and men) that have so much in common - is just too much fun! I have been so lucky to meet so many fabulous people. I can't begin to list all the people I have met, as I have made A LOT of effort to "work the rooms". I told my sister today on the phone that she would not have recognized me at this conference - stepping so far out of my comfort zone - making myself get up from my seat and mingle with one group of bloggers after another. I have been very proud of myself for all the introductions I have made and feel honored to have met so many wonderful people. I SO JUST WANT to sit and let people come to me - you know - that is my nature --- but, it doesn't work like that here. There are so many people that you have to go out and meet people or you might never interact and I didn't come all the way out here to go home and not feel like I have met a ton of people.
At the cocktail party tonight - held down the street from our hotel at a nice club - I met Janet (Three & Holding), Sarah (Slouching Over 40), Jen (One Plus Two), Shannon (Rocks In My Dryer), Megan (AllMediocre.com), Amy (Amy In Ohio) - amongst bunches of other wonderful bloggers. I also had the opportunity to meet two of the writers from the TNT TV series Saving Grace and one of the actresses from The Closer as well (I can't remember their names right now - but it was very cool and they were very nice!), and also many of the TNT execs that were with them. I also met one of the Editors of Redbook Magazine and a writer for the New York Times.
It was so much fun and the food was great at the party.
Here are a few pictures from today:
I FINALLY met OHMommy (Classy Chaos). Here she is with JCK (Motherscribe). They are both fabulous women and I have loved both their blogs since I first began blogging almost 1 year ago. If you've never visited their blogs, you really should go and visit as they are two of the best writers on the web!
OHMommy (Classy Chaos) and Me - Isn't she darling! She's just as nice in person as I ever imagined she would be!
Kelly (Don Mills Diva), OHMommy (Classy Chaos) and me - I think we look very happy to be at this conference and I know I have been so happy to meet both of these women!
JCK (Motherscribe) and Slouching Mom (in the purple - can't see her in this picture) mingling at the cocktail party.
If you have ever visiting JCK's site - you know she loves her fishnet stockings! If you haven't read her stories about her fishnets, you need to go over sometime and read them - they are very funny. She looked fabulous tonight in her cocktail dress and fishnets - SMASHING!!
JCK and I at one of the sessions earlier in the day. Yes ... I have a sun dress on, as I am FROM TEXAS, but I wore a sweater all day long, as it is cold here! I took off the sweater in many of the conference rooms, as it got HOT. That sundress came in handy, except, of course, if I had to actually venture outside. It's beautiful weather here - but ... just a little chilly.
Had to show this picture of JCK because she looks so pretty and so happy. I think she is having a great time and I am too!
This is just some of the SWAG that I have received:
Look at all this stuff. Some of it I will keep and take home and some I will put in the "recycle room" they have set up. I can't believe all this stuff - the books and goodies! And ... I haven't even gotten all the things they have been giving away. I don't know how I am going to get all this stuff home - I may have to ship it.
This is a picture of the little SWAG gift bags I brought to give away. It's an On The Upside pen, tiny blue bag with KISSES candy inside and my blog business card attached. I made about 300 to give away and have about 50 left - so that tells you how busy I have been mingling and passing out cards! Alexis has to be given TREMENDOUS credit, as she helped her mommy make all these cute little gift bags and she was a fabulous helper! She would eat a candy and then stuff 2 in each bag - she would eat a candy and then stuff 2 in each bag - so CUTE! She also helped punch holes in the business cards and tie the ribbons. I have told everyone I give the gift bag about how Alexis helped me make them and they love that story! She's my sweet girl!
Since I have been here - my family has called many times to check in.
My sister wants to know how everything is going and wants me to make sure I visit San Francisco some if I can - I am going to try tomorrow and Sunday morning.
My Mom has called to check in also and to offer continuous support and advise - THANKS MOM!
Billy, my husband, calls to make sure I'm enjoying myself and update me on the kids.
Chloe called me to ask me where something was. YES --- I'm in SAN FRANCISCO and the child called me to FIND SOMETHING FOR HER! I was happy to oblige - cuz ... it is my JOB TO FIND ALL LOST THINGS - after all!
Little Billy called to say, "Hi Mom." I miss that boy!
Courtney hasn't called, but I'm sure she meant to.
Alexis called and left a message on my voice mail, "Mom, will you call me when you can - when you get this message," in a very tiny little voice - so sweet. She went on to say, "It's me - Alexis." I called her - my precious girl. I miss her!
Oh, Yes --- these are the red shoes I wore to the first cocktail party - just had to show you. They hurt like hell - but they are DARLING shoes - HA!
Hopefully I will have more pictures tomorrow.
Hope you all have a great weekend!
Thanks for checking in with me and being so supportive about my visit here to San Francisco and my attending this conference. I TRULY wish that you all were here so that I could meet all the bloggers I love so much!!
I survived the first mixer last night. Well ... the first two mixers. BlogHer put on a very nice cocktail party on the 32nd floor of the hotel - FABULOUS room and view and it was really cool to mix and mingle with so many bloggers. I met Dawn (Because I said So) right off. She's darling and she's TINY! I imagined her taller, but she's little and very nice and funny! I met many other's as well - too many to mention. There was also a second cocktail party called "The People's Party", put on by Motherbumper, One Plus Two, The Bloggers, Oh, The Joys!, Izzy Mom and Velveteen Mind. It was great fun and lots of people showed up to both parties! Far to many to meet and remember their names - that's for sure!
The cocktail parties were a way to start meeting bloggers and exchange cards - it was LOUD and a bit exhausting - trying to make your way around the room (something I'm not all that good at) and meet everyone. It was FUN. I met BOSSY and Kelly (Don Mills Diva) and many others. VERY COOL!
I am at breakfast right now - looking forward to a long day of sessions and I might slip away this afternoon to see some sights - if possible. I have yet to meet OHMommy and am looking for her in the crowds as I type!
Hope you all have a great day.
I WISH YOU ALL WERE HERE WITH ME!!!!!
BTW - There are 1000 conference attendees - Mostly all bloggers, but some are corpoate sponsors and representatives from the media and such! Very cool and lots of people!!
Yes ... I know - I was going to San Francisco - not Chicago. I think the plane took a wrong turn because ---- it is CHILLY HERE!! And WINDY!!
But ... It is BEAUTIFUL and I am enjoying the cooler weather - seeing as I left San Antonio and it was going to be in the high 90's. But ... IT IS CHILLY HERE!!
I have a fabulous room - I do not deserve this fabulous room at the Westin St. Francis - WOW! We are right in the heart of downtown and it is amazing! I have taken a few pictures out my window at the tall buildings, but I will post them later - quite a view of the street.
I have met JCK (Motherscribe) and just love her to death. We have known each other for a long while and it is so cool being able to finally meet her IRL!
I have met several other bloggers as well and will go on to list them in a later post, as I am supposed to be getting ready for the cocktail parties and I only have 30 minutes to dry my hair and put on make-up! Everyone so far as been wonderful and it is very exciting meeting bloggers like Oh The Joys and Flutter when I have seen them around for so long and have visited their sites many times!
I will update again when I am able.
Hope you all had a wonderful Thursday - see you soon - Kellan
I am headed to the BlogHer Conference in San Francisco from Thursday through Sunday.
I am planning on posting everyday I am there - updates on what is going on, who I've met, interesting or funny stories.
I'd love to be able to keep up with all of my readers and blogging friends while I am away, but I don't imagine that will be possible.
I hope you will still check in with me over the next 4 days and I will be back to visiting you all early next week.
Have a great week and weekend - see you when I get back!
PS - I want to thank every single one of my readers and friends that are always so kind to me. I appreciate every visit that you make to my site and the time you take out of your lives to read my silly stories, involve yourselves in mine and my family's lives and for the heartfelt and wonderful comments you leave. I can't tell you how lucky I feel to be associated with so many fabulous women.
She very well could begin writing to-do lists any ... day now.
She is ...
After all ...
Her mother's child.
She might be only 6 years old, but ...
She is a planner!
She says, "How long 'till my Birthday?"
Me - standing in the kitchen, cooking dinner. "It's less than a month away."
"How many days is that?" she is sitting on the bar stool watching me cook.
"I don't know, Hon - 25," I guess this answer.
She is thinking.
She says, "I want to go to Splash Town for my birthday," she smiles big.
I smile.
"Maybe Pump It Up - Yep, I want to go to Pump It Up," she smiles big.
I smile.
"Next year I'll go to Fiesta Texas," she picks up a carrot and sticks it in her mouth and she ... smiles big.
I smile.
"Then ... the next year," she gags on the carrot and spits it out on the counter, "I want to go to Schlitterbaun Water Park," she smiles big.
I smile.
"Could I go to Schlitterbaun?" she waits for me to answer.
"I don't see why not," I continue to cook.
She jumps down from the bar stool and heads off to the living room . I hear her saying, "Okay ... when I get to be 10 - I want to go to Schlitterbaun," she sits down on the couch, "Or ... maybe Sea World ...."
Me ---
I am no longer smiling.
On the upside ... Honestly ... I don't have a CLUE where she wants to go for her birthday! I can't keep up with that girl and her ideas - her plans - her schedule!! I can only imagine when she has something REALLY important to plan - *sigh* - like a WEDDING! I guess it could be worse. She could be begging to be taken to that filthy GERM HOLE with the gigantic happy RAT - Chuck E. Cheeses!
I don't know why, exactly ... but, I have had a reprieve.
I have enjoyed its absence.
I have appreciated the break.
But ...
It did not last.
It was too good to be true.
It was bound to happen again ... eventually.
I was at church recently, sitting with an old friend.
My mother was there.
My friend's sister was there.
My friend's sister's ... beautiful, youthful, twenty-something, daughter - the one with the porcelain complexion, silky, long dark brown hair, pearly white smile, slender, beautiful body, giggly stories - Yes ... she was there, as well.
I sat in a pew next to my dear friend.
My friend's sister and the goddess-like daughter were in the pew right behind us.
My mother sat in the pew behind them.
There was no one else in the chapel and we had gathered to talk.
My friend's niece began to tell a darling story about her little son.
We listened.
We giggled.
We laughed.
"How old is he now?" I asked - remembering this boy when he was only a baby. Remembering the niece when she was just a baby. Realizing at that moment ... that she was STILL ONLY A MERE BABY!
"Oh ..." she smiled so big, "He's 7 years old," she gushed with pride.
"I can't believe that!" I exclaimed - this comment we all say when we hear about a child we haven't seen for long while.
"Yes," she explained, "He's seven now."
I hesitated.
I hem-hawed.
I debated with myself for a moment.
Then, I said ...
"My Alexis is six," the words came out of my mouth at the same time my brain said, 'Keep quiet. Keep it to yourself - you fool - you are OLD - she is a child - she is a goddess-child with a 7 year old son. She will never understand. It will likely blow her mind. She's liable to faint or have spasms or ... GAG'!
But ... I said it.
I did.
And ...
I sat there and waited.
We all waited.
She got this strangled look on her face and then she muttered, "Wwwhat?" with a startled hesitation in her voice.
Had she heard it right?
Could it be possible?
Surly not!
"Yes ... I have Alexis - who is 6. I mention it because your story ..." I keep talking, but I see that she is clearly in shock, "Was so cute and I know how they are - 6 year olds - so cute," I ramble.
Then ...
Once she heard me ...
Really HEARD me ...
This goddess-child ---- the one with the shiny hair, porcelain complexion, pearly white smile, slender, youthful body ---- the one with a child one year older than mine ---- (ME ---- the elderly, aging friend of her Aunt M ---- the one not quite yet in need of a walker or a hearing aid, but ancient, nonetheless) ... she ... opens her eyes real big and ...
She GASPS!
Like people do when they hear or see something ... shocking!
Like people do when they hear or see something ... hideous!
Like people do when they are a struck by ... fear!
That sort of GASP!
The sort of GASP ---- where the person just instinctively SUCKS in a bunch of air - no words - only that G-A-S-P sound.
You know.
YEP!
It. Was. Hysterical!
And ...
It didn't hurt my feelings.
It didn't even surprise me.
It ... made me ...
THROW MY HEAD BACK AND LET OUT A LAUGH SO SPONTANEOUS AND INFECTIOUS - We all began to cackle right there in the chapel in the very front pews.
She, of course, began to try to back-pedal herself out of this moment, but it was too late.
I said, "I know ---- it's just not right," and we laughed some more.
On the upside ... Just about the time I am perfectly happy, strolling along, living in my I'm-too-old-to-haven't-had-any-"Are-you-the-grandma?"-comments-in-a-long-while-so-I-must-be-looking-younger DELUSIONAL world ... A perfectly darling, young goddess-child-with-a-7 year old ... comes along ... and pushes me right back down in my rickety rocking chair and hands me a cup of tea and and afghan to throw across my feeble legs.
I've never been to - well, anywhere - by myself - let alone to a conference where I will be meeting lots of other bloggers. Famous bloggers. Bloggers I admire and worship. Bloggers I have "known", but have never met.
I don't know what to wear. I always over pack. I do not want to come off gaudy or frumpy or nerdy or ... OLD! While ... I AM OLD - I do not want to come off - OLD! There will be sessions. There will be cocktail parties. There will be leisurely get-togethers in the evenings in my room (HA!).
I'm only going for 4 days - look at all these clothes! But ... my packing moto is - If it fits in the suitcase, it gets to go with me - so ... it is likely all going!
I am going to be meeting BLOGGERS!!! I know - I mentioned this - but ... I WILL BE MEETING SO MANY OTHER BLOGGERS!! I will be meeting her and her and her - and many, many others.
I am excited about this trip.
I am nervous.
AND ...
I am not equipped, socially, to handle this.
I'm not!
I'm good with people I know and not so good with people I don't know.
Ask my sister.
She's the social butterfly in our family - not me.
Never was!
I am going to do my best.
Use every trick my sister ever taught me.
Talk to people - smile - shake hands - ask lots of questions - offer personal information, blah, blah, blah.
I have little confidence that I will actually pull it off, but ...
I'm going!
I'm going to San Francisco and I have a room to myself (YIPPIE!) - a KING SIZED BED - NO KIDS for 4 days - NO nothin' about kids for 4 days except talking about my blog and hearing about other mommy blogs - NO household chores - NO yard work - NO office work - NO answering the phone in my house because I am the only one that ever does that - NO running kids all over the world to get to games and practices and classes and sleep-overs - NO making meals and washing dishes and clothes - NO making sure the animals are fed and the bathrooms have toilet paper and soap - NO picking up shoes and trash and dirty clothes ... NO PEOPLE AROUND THAT I KNOW!
I am not good with people I don't know.
I know - I said that.
But ... I'm not!
I never say the right thing.
I'm seldom very interesting.
And ... I'm thinking about taking this little stroller like thing to lug all my stuff around.
Seriously.
One of those grocery pull-along carts - OLD WOMEN use - those OLD WOMEN you see waiting at the bus stop - you know.
Yes...... I'm thinking about toting one of those along - to lug all my stuff. Like my laptop, binders, camera, batteries, business cards, purse ... HOW WILL I LUG ALL MY STUFF without one of those OLD LADY grocery cart thingys?
But ... if I do - everyone is surly going to think I am RIDICULOUS! Did you see her - she was pushing one of those OLD LADY grocery cart thingys - she looked RIDICULOUS - that On The Upside chick!
But ... I gotta lug my stuff!
I know I am over thinking this.
I tend to do that.
When I'm nervous - or scared - or out of my element.
Think - think - think - think - think ...
PLUS ... I now have only 6 days ... to LOSE 28 LBS!
*sigh*
Wish me luck!
I'm liable to have lots of stories when I come back or ----- more likely ----- you might very well be reading a few RIDICULOUSLY REVEALING STORIES ABOUT ME on other blogs!
That means that there are lots and lots of shoes. You have seen my shoes:
(I know - I will NEVER wear all of these shoes)
And ... this is where I keep my shoes - in my closet!
The rest of the characters living in my house, however ...
Leave their work boots in the living room ...
Their softball cleats by the garage door ...
Their basketball shoes in the family room ...
Their favorite Vans near the couch ...
Their darling little black and white flats by the front door ...
And ... their stinky Converses on the kitchen table.
On the upside ... I guess I'm lucky to have all these shoes around my house ... because that means I got all these people living here with me and that's a good thing. Every time I see a pair of shoes lying around, I yell for the person that owns them to put them away - I do. But ... when I stop and think about it ... I do not look forward to the day that all these shoes are gone. I do not look forward to living in this house ... without all these characters and their shoes!
Alexis often has a favorite word that she uses over and over. For a while it was the word apparentely.
Lately, it's not just a word, but a phrase - she uses it many times throughout the day.
Her favorite phrase lately is - I'm guessing ...
"I'm guessing ... it's time for lunch," she will say.
We were together recently, out by the pool. We were taking a break and sitting at the table - just talking.
She got to talking about God.
"I believe in God ... and Jesus - both," she says.
"Good - I do too."
"Do you believe in the devil?" she asks.
"Yes, I do," I answer and take a sip of my iced tea.
"Why?" she is curious.
"Because ... it's in the Bible and I just believe there is a God and I also believe there is a devil," I say, looking across the table at my sweet girl.
She gets thoughtful and says," I don't want to believe in the devil."
I say, "God tells us there is a devil," and leave it at that.
She then decides ... okay ... she believes in the devil.
"What about Heaven?" she asks.
"Yes, I believe in Heaven."
She does too.
"Will you go to Heaven?" she wants to know.
"I think I will," I tell her.
She pauses a minute, looks directly into my eyes and then she says, "I'm guessing ... I will go to Heaven too."
On the upside ... I am guessing ... little girl ... you are definitely going to Heaven ... as you have GOT TO BE one of God's favorite little children!
Little Billy went away this past Saturday to Boy Scout camp.
FOR A WEEK!
Before he went I, of course, helped him pack.
We were organizing his stuff on the bed in his room. "Make sure you brush your teeth, every single day," I pleaded.
"Oh ... there won't be water there," he said, while helping me fold his shorts and shirts and underwear. "I don't think there will even be bathrooms," he never looked up.
I glanced across the room, "Oh ... there will be water," I giggled.
"And ... make sure you brush your hair - don't let your hair be a mess all the time," I harped.
"I will - here's my brush - SEE," he waved a black brush above his head.
"And ... change your clothes. If you come back in the same outfit you left here in - people will talk about you. You'll be known as the "STINKY-On-The-Upside" boy," I poked him in the ribs.
"I will," he was annoyed.
"And ... make sure you keep your stuff neat. Don't make a big ol' mess in your trunk or you won't be able to find anything. Keep it neat," I instructed and smiled.
He rolled his eyes.
He turned in my direction.
He said ...
"Mom ..."
"It's cool!
I can handle this.
I am ...
A Boy Scout - ya know," he reached over, grabbed his Boy Scout cap and put it on his head.
"Stop worrying so much!
It's coooool."
On the upside ... Come back soon ... Little Billy - I miss you!
In the meantime, cozy up to that camp fire and ... send your mom a smoke signal - or something!
That amounts to a WHOLE LOT of socks bought and then LOST - over the years.
It also amounts to LOTS of LOST library books and a mom that spends way more time than she would like - searching beneath beds, through bookshelves and inside closets - looking for LOST books.
There has been more than a GAZILLION McDonald's toys brought into my house and about 1MILLION of those become LOST and create quite the ruckos until they are located again and placed into the hands of a whimpering child.
There has been MANY homework assignments forgotten or LOST!
There have been WAY TOO MANY shoes left behind or misplaced or LOST!
There has been MANY a pair of scissors or nail clippers or hairbrush or toothbrush or blanket or IPOD or jacket or backpack or ... well, you name it - IT HAS BEENLOSTIN MY HOUSE AT ONE TIME OR THE OTHER!
I have done my very best, over the years, to FIND MOST ALLLOSTTHINGS!
I think it is time for someone else to take this job.
Yes ... it is definitely time ...
Poor little Alexis wandered into my bedroom early on a Saturday morning. Little Billy was by her side. They nudged me until I opened my eyes, "The Tooth Fairy didn't come," Alexis mumbled, with a pitifully sad look on her face. She was quite unhappy.
Little Billy, ever the expert on most anything, says, "She'll probably come tomorrow," trying his best to console his sweet little toothless sister.
Me - I'm barely awake, but alert enough to realize that ... the TOOTH FAIRY had once again - SKIPPED OVER OUR HOUSE!
I say, through sleepy eyes and groggy senses, "Yes, Sweetie -she'll come tomorrow," and roll over and hug my pillow.
The very next morning, Alexis comes to the side of my bed, and unlike the day before, her sad face has now been replaced with a mad face and she says, "That STUPID TOOTH FAIRY didn't come again!"
Me - I'm again barely awake, but alert enough to realize that my six year old daughter has just yelled the word STUPID - loudly ... INTO THE FACE OF ... THE TOOTH FAIRY!
(*sigh*)
"I guess she just had a busy night, Sweetie," I mumble and squint to see her face. "I'm sure she'll come tonight," I reach over and pat her on the top of the head.
The following morning ... Alexis wanders into my bedroom to have her hair brushed and I say, "So ... did The Tooth Fairy come last night?" so confident she would now be thrilled, as I was, that it was over - she finally GOT HER MONEY!
She hesitates for a moment and then she finally says, "She only took one tooth. She left me $2.00, but only took one tooth," she was not at all pleased.
Oh ... THAT'S RIGHT... thought The Tooth Fairy (the collector of all LOST teeth) - There were2 TEETH!
(*sigh*)
I said, "Maybe she dropped one - didn't realize she left it behind. Or, maybe she left the $2.00 for the one tooth and will be back again tonight (*sigh*) to leave more money for the other tooth," I am scrambling to help her makes sense of this ridiculous fiasco! "Leave the tooth again tonight - I'm sure she'll come back." (*sigh*)
Somewhere along the way - during the course of the past 2 or 3 years ... I have become the most miserable excuse for a FAIRY! (*imaginary glittery wings actually fall off and crash to the ground - SPLAT - CRASH - BAM!*)
On the upside ... There are, indeed, many things that I am in charge of. I am in charge of buying things and I am in charge of finding ALLLOST things! I am in charge of way more things than I am truly capable of being in charge of!
I am, however ... NOT REALLY ... THE TOOTH FAIRY!!
And if I am the actualTOOTHFAIRY, then ........ I AM NO LONGER CAPABLE OF PERFORMING THIS JOB ... AND, IT IS TIME FOR A NEW FAIRY REPLACEMENT!
