I have 4 children.
That amounts to a WHOLE LOT of socks bought and then LOST - over the years.
It also amounts to LOTS of LOST library books and a mom that spends way more time than she would like - searching beneath beds, through bookshelves and inside closets - looking for LOST books.
There has been more than a GAZILLION McDonald's toys brought into my house and about 1 MILLION of those become LOST and create quite the ruckos until they are located again and placed into the hands of a whimpering child.
There has been MANY homework assignments forgotten or LOST!
There have been WAY TOO MANY shoes left behind or misplaced or LOST!
There has been MANY a pair of scissors or nail clippers or hairbrush or toothbrush or blanket or IPOD or jacket or backpack or ... well, you name it - IT HAS BEEN LOST IN MY HOUSE AT ONE TIME OR THE OTHER!
I have done my very best, over the years, to FIND MOST ALL LOST THINGS!
I think it is time for someone else to take this job.
Yes ... it is definitely time ...
Poor little Alexis wandered into my bedroom early on a Saturday morning. Little Billy was by her side. They nudged me until I opened my eyes, "The Tooth Fairy didn't come," Alexis mumbled, with a pitifully sad look on her face. She was quite unhappy.
Little Billy, ever the expert on most anything, says, "She'll probably come tomorrow," trying his best to console his sweet little toothless sister.Me - I'm barely awake, but alert enough to realize that ... the TOOTH FAIRY had once again - SKIPPED OVER OUR HOUSE!
I say, through sleepy eyes and groggy senses, "Yes, Sweetie -she'll come tomorrow," and roll over and hug my pillow.
The very next morning, Alexis comes to the side of my bed, and unlike the day before, her sad face has now been replaced with a mad face and she says, "That STUPID TOOTH FAIRY didn't come again!"
Me - I'm again barely awake, but alert enough to realize that my six year old daughter has just yelled the word STUPID - loudly ... INTO THE FACE OF ... THE TOOTH FAIRY!
(*sigh*)
"I guess she just had a busy night, Sweetie," I mumble and squint to see her face. "I'm sure she'll come tonight," I reach over and pat her on the top of the head.
The following morning ... Alexis wanders into my bedroom to have her hair brushed and I say, "So ... did The Tooth Fairy come last night?" so confident she would now be thrilled, as I was, that it was over - she finally GOT HER MONEY!
She hesitates for a moment and then she finally says, "She only took one tooth. She left me $2.00, but only took one tooth," she was not at all pleased.
Oh ... THAT'S RIGHT... thought The Tooth Fairy (the collector of all LOST teeth) - There were 2 TEETH!
(*sigh*)
I said, "Maybe she dropped one - didn't realize she left it behind. Or, maybe she left the $2.00 for the one tooth and will be back again tonight (*sigh*) to leave more money for the other tooth," I am scrambling to help her makes sense of this ridiculous fiasco! "Leave the tooth again tonight - I'm sure she'll come back." (*sigh*)
Somewhere along the way - during the course of the past 2 or 3 years ... I have become the most miserable excuse for a FAIRY! (*imaginary glittery wings actually fall off and crash to the ground - SPLAT - CRASH - BAM!*)
On the upside ... There are, indeed, many things that I am in charge of. I am in charge of buying things and I am in charge of finding ALL LOST things! I am in charge of way more things than I am truly capable of being in charge of!
I am, however ... NOT REALLY ... THE TOOTH FAIRY!!
And if I am the actual TOOTH FAIRY, then ........ I AM NO LONGER CAPABLE OF PERFORMING THIS JOB ... AND, IT IS TIME FOR A NEW FAIRY REPLACEMENT!