"Mom - You're the most entertaining woman on the face of the earth," my son announced one afternoon after we pulled away from the Dairy Queen restaurant.
This statement said to me - after I had screamed, "GIVE ME THE RANCH DRESSING! GET IT! GO ON - GO GET IT AND GIVE. IT. TO. ME. NOW!" to the very rude DQ employee at the drive-thru window that made the minor mis-calculation of P.R.O.V.O.K.I.N.G me!
Me ... the one in the van that had been driving for an hour and doesn't particularly like this particular DQ myself, but went anyways, because my van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids begged me to.
Me ... the one with the van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids that had already been forced to wait 10 minutes before anyone even took our order at the order menu!
Me ... the one with the van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids that waited another 20 minutes before our order was ready and was given only 3 onion rings - not 8 or 10 - but 3 - in my order, and I just let it go.
Me ... the one with the van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids that was told that the nasty, slow DQ was now out of ketchup packages!
Me ... the one that agreed to take the packets of ranch dressing and honey mustard dressing in the place of ketchup and then was given just 1 pack of each - for a van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids with lots of french fries and chicken strips!
Me ... the one that asked - very nicely - for 3 more packages of ranch dressing and was told - by a very rude and nasty-uniform-wearin'-girl that stood inside that little window, with her hands on her hips - that I'd have to pay for the additional packages of ranch dressing!
Me ... the one that could not believe her ears!
So ... I, very calmly, took a deep breath, leaned as far out of my window as I could (if I could have climbing through her little window without totally humiliating myself and my kids - I would have), looked the DQ girl right in her face and screamed, as loudly as I could possibly scream ... "GIVE ME THE RANCH DRESSING! GET IT! GO ON - GO GET IT AND GIVE. IT. TO. ME. NOW!"
She shut her mouth.
She lowered her hands from her hips.
She handed me the 3 additional packages of ranch dressing.
I drove away.
On the upside ... In the back seat of my van were 5 shocked children - but they had their DQ food and their replacement con-di-ments! I had my 3 onion rings and a nasty DQ Hunger Buster - that I promptly threw into the trash. And, to my son, all I had to say was ... "I'm so happy to entertain you!"
(My husband - who was in his truck right behind me in the DQ line, called me on my phone and said, "What's up? What happened? What's going on? I could hear you - you know." I explained to him that I had it all under control - they were out of ketchup - I took care of it. I'm pretty sure he also finds me quite entertaining and ... was very glad he was not in the van with us).
(I did tell all the kids, in a very calm voice, "Don't ever yell at anyone like that - ever! You never know what they might do.")
(Note: No offense to anyone who loves DQ, works for DQ, owns a DQ - I am not against DQ - just this particular one).
I'm not the type to pull strings or call in favors unless I absolutely have too.
Okay ... It's not like I'm this suburban-mafia-mom that has tons of useful connections, meets covertly in dark alleys to make deals with shifty looking hoodlums, keeps a mental tally of favors owed to me or have a list of people that find me favorable by which I could pull some strings with.
I have no connections.
I know no hoodlums (except Little Billy and he's harmless, he's my son and he's only 12).
My mind is far to cluttered and feeble to keep track of what the actual day of the week is, let alone if I've ever accumulated favors owed to me.
And ... most people do not find me favorable.
But ...
I am wise in the ways of the world! I've been around long enough to know the games, watched carefully to try and understand how to play some of these games and, from time to time, have enlisted this aforementioned, accumulated knowledge to PLAY THE DAMN GAME!
I am on the board of the PTA for my twins' high school.
On Monday morning - the first day of school, mind you - I crawled out of my comfortable bed and quiet, kid-free house - the bed with the cozy down comforter and the house that was noiseless - to help at the high school, alphabetizing their AGR (an acronym that I have no clue what it stands for - something to do with registration - something to do with the first day of school) cards
Before I left my house, I began to receive numerous text messages from my Daughter Courtney - HER AND CHLOE'S SCHEDULES ARE SCREWED UP - HELP MOM!!!
I tried to appease my obviously highly-stressed-frantic-freaking-out-of-her-mind daughter by replying casually to her text messages with, "Don't worry about it, Hon - it'll all work out," sort of responses.
That didn't fly.
She continued to text message after message, interrupting me from getting ready to go - she NEEDED me to step in and help figure out this screw-up for her ---- PLEASE MOM! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!
I stopped my primping, walked out of my bathroom and called the counselor's office. I was pretty quickly told they will not be addressing scheduling issues until after Labor Day, the girls will just have to stay in the classes assigned until then. Mind you - these girls spent 5 hours, two weeks ago, up at the school on Prep Days, working out their Senior year schedule and now the school has made an error by changing the schedule. The error is the school's error - not my girls'. This I conclude only too quickly.
I sigh.
I change my outfit (I was wearing something conservative - I change into something less conservative. There is a reason for this well-thought-out wardrobe change. I won't tell you what I changed into because I wouldn't want you to think badly of me. Okay - I'll tell you. The new outfit consisted of a shorter shirt and a tighter, lower cut blouse).
I grab my purse.
I grab my coffee.
I leave my nice quite house and drudge up to the school.
I go by the counselor's office and am told pretty much the same thing - "So sorry your daughter is upset but there's nothing we can do today." So, I ask to speak to the head counselor (I'm going to go up the ladder now) and am told it wouldn't be possible until late afternoon to meet with her - she's far too busy helping register new students. In the meantime, my daughter's are attending classes that will not be their set classes and Courtney is BEYOND hysterical this is all screwed up - she is still texting me constantly. I am informed by the counseling department that nothing can be done for two weeks.
I texted Courtney and told her to meet me near the counselor's office.
"Did they say for me to meet you?" Courtney texted me - I can sense her fear.
"I SAID FOR YOU TO MEET ME." I'm the tax payer and the mom here - what I say goes.
After her first period class ends - Courtney - visually distressed - meets me in the breezeway near the counselor's office.
"Courtney. Now, you have to tell me if this is SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU WANT ME TO MAKE A STINK TO GET THIS FIXED. Because if it is not that big a deal and you can wait until after Labor Day, you have to tell me now." I have no clue from one minute to the next what is REALLY important and what isn't when it comes to teenagers. What I think should be important - isn't. And, what I think is piddly-isn't-worth-the-worry-or-stress-or-making-your-mom-a-nut-case-until-the-issue-is-resolved sort of issue - they think is important. But ... as I am talking to her - trying to decipher the true worry about this scheduling-screw-up issue, I see the trauma and stress all over her face.
Tears began to roll down her cheeks and she is not a crier - she is my tough child.
She NEEDS this issue resolved and I, as her advocate, agree. She is a student and going to school is her one and only job and she is highly successful. It does not seem reasonable to me that she should be forced to remain in the "wrong" classes for two weeks - she needs to be put back in her "right" classes so she can start this school year stress-free and happy. (Happy is really all I'm aiming at here).
"Okay - it's a big deal," I say. "Let's go," and I begin to go toward the counselor's office - set on sitting in there until they do something to fix my daughter's schedule (all the while my anger is riling up and honestly, I intended to "dare" them to make me wait longer than I deemed reasonable. I wasn't sure how long that would be - it would all depend on how long they made me wait). But ... Courtney doesn't want to make a stink in the counselor's office - she had already been in there earlier and they chased her out, telling her they were too busy today to address her scheduling problem. *More tears*
I agree. I got nowhere with them either and was, while I didn't let on to my daughter, a little fearful myself to return to the lion's den. I say, "Okay. But, then we're going to have to go to the Principal." I'm pretty sure this will scare her to death and she will reject this idea.
She is good with this plan.
She knows I know the Principal and that the Principal of this school of 3000 students knows me well and knows her well.
"Where is he - let's find him," she says, her spirits a little higher now. Me - my heart is beating so fast it might just jump from my chest, land on the ground and trip me in the hallway.
We head off to look for the Principal.
We round the corner in the outdoor courtyard and there he is, standing with two other administrators that I also know well. I adjust my blouse, straighten my black and red floral shirt, cover my mouth with my hand and whisper to Courtney, "I'm going to need you to cry."
"What?" she asked, her eyes shifting nervously.
"Tears. Turn on the tears," I instruct, perfectly aware that this is one of the few times my daughter has witnessed me attempting to manipulate a man. Watch closely Dear, you will see how it is done.
We explained Courtney and Chloe's situation to the Principal. Courtney teared up (easily, because she was truly upset). He immediately took care of the situation.
Not ten minutes - TEN MINUTES - later, Courtney and Chloe's schedule was back the way it should be, Courtney gave her mom a big hug and bounced off to class - not a care in the world.
YES - I used everything (while not all that impressive or threatening or at all useful in everyday situations) in my arsenal to help my daughter. And, I didn't even have to scream and yell to get it done.
Courtney, quite impressed with her mother's talents, came home in the afternoon, all smiles. I questioned her about her schedule and she informed me that it was fine - everything was correct - "THANKS MOM, for your help".
Then ...
She went on to tell me that she repeated this story to several people at her school, one a teacher I know well, but in her story she impressed that she'd gotten the schedule changed back ... by crying.
"Did you tell them that I was the one who told you to turn on the tears?" I asked, astonished that she was taking credit for my sneaky plan.
"No," she admitted easily, and then shuffled on out of the room.
For the record - I was the administrator of this well-thought-out covert operation. But, I'm okay with my daughter taking the credit. I know only too well that she's too young to realize that that was part of my plan too - tee hee. (Okay, not really, but it will come in handy if I ever have to deny I played a part of this manipulation). And, for the record - I could have kept on my original outfit. I'm pretty darn sure it didn't have a thing to do with ultimately getting this job done *hangs head pitifully*
Mothers, more often than not, put the needs and happiness of their children before their own. It's not a choice was make, it's just nature. It's like that mother duck - she knows all those little ducks are following her and every now and then I know she must turn around and count them to make sure they are all still there behind her. She probably inspects their little bodies to make sure each is getting the exact amount of food they should be getting to survive and if they are not, she will give them hers. I'm sure she scolds them if they wander off and panics when she can't find one and then she will go to the ends of the ocean in search of her lost duckling.
If it were a daddy duck left with this year long nurturing responsibility, I imagine there might just be a lost duckling now and then and he may even say, "Oh well, he should have kept up. Come on guys, let's get some grub." (Maybe I'm wrong about this theory).
I am the disciplinarian in our family. I know one reason Billy has left this daunting responsibility to me - because he is smarter than I am. It's another one of those things he figured out years ago. He realized that it was way too important to risk failure (the most important thing of all!) and he was smart enough to back away. I was just stupid enough to think I could handle the job and accepted the responsibility willingly.
And it's not like Billy is completely absent - he just stands far enough away from the line of fire to not get hit and close enough in case I really need him. But, truth be told, I'm the mean one and he's the nice one in our family. I've been known to say, "I know they think I'm mean. I know they may even hate me sometimes. And their father is the nice one. I don't care. If it gets them to where I think they need to go, that's okay with me. They don't have to like me, as long as they are successful and confident and completely sure of their convictions when they go out into the world.
My daughter, Chloe, said to me, in a recent serious talk we had, "I don't think you realize that you are at the top of my list of people that I care about ... the very top person. I care more about what you think of me than anyone else."
This is the most important comment any of my children have ever said to me.
It is exhausting keeping my children in that line - on that straight path. This comment Chloe made was her way of making me realize that she listens and trusts what I say. It was, to me, important because it was the first time I actually felt like someone had given me a high-five ... for being a mother. Her saying this, said that I was as important to her as she is to me and that is huge. To have my child see me ... as relevant, to not only her survival, but to her success, is monumental in the scheme of raising my children.
It's not easy to admit that I could reach the point of actually believing that any of my children might harbor hateful feelings towards me because they don't quite understand my motives and good intentions. Hopefully, one day, they will realize that all those lessons that seemed so mean or strict were just me ... frantically searching to the ends of the ocean ... to bring them back.
On the upside ... I am certain that it will all be worth it - totally certain!
All the kids are in school and I think, since I have about two hours before they get home, I will run (real quick) to go get some groceries - I don't need all that many things. I'll just run right over there - follow the list I have scribbled out - be home in no time.
I probably went wrong starting out in the bakery department, because it just went down hill from there. As, it often does.
An hour and a half and two baskets of groceries later ... I emerge from the grocery store into the parking lot. And ... that is when I see her.
Out in front of me...
Me ... the one, scrambling for her keys that have sunk to the bottom of my huge handbag - Me ... the one with my wallet still in my hand, my sunglasses on the ground at my feet and a pen in my mouth - Me ... the one in the disheveled jogging suit, with the jacket that doesn't really match the pants and t-shirt with coffee or something dripped down the front - Me ... the one searching the parking lot cluelessly for my big blue van that I have no idea where I parked - Me ... the one with the two huge baskets full of groceries for my rug-rats at home; stuff like, Froot Loops, Gogurts, snack chips, bags of apples and oranges and fruit roll-ups - Me ... the one that has now only 15 minutes to get home before the bus, unload 68 bags of groceries into my house and into the pantry, refrigerator or freezer - Me ... THE LUNATIC!
Out in front of me ... strolling ever so slowly and happily ... I see myself ... in 30 years.
I stop for a moment to admire her.
There I am ... an old woman ... and I am quite put together. I have my hair all done up and my clothes are old-lady-like, yet they are crisp and matching and clean. I am in no hurry. I am pushing my one little basket and taking my time. In the bottom of my basket are two lonely bags of groceries - one containing my laundry supplies and the other, my cottage cheese, tomatoes and peaches. I smile as the sun hits my face and don't even reach for a pair of sunglasses, as I have long since had cataract surgery and I am tolerant to the brightness. I watch as the world rushes by me - as the people rush by me - and I am content to take my slow steps, feel the breeze on my wrinkled old face and hands and just ... stroll ... ever so leisurely to my car.
She smiled at me. She was just an old lady ... but she was everything I describe, only ... she wasn't me at all.
Little Billy learned to snow ski when he was five years old.
That year, we went to Red River, NM to ski. Little Billy got pretty good, really fast. And ... he was fast. He was, aside from me, the only one in our family skiing fast. My husband, Courtney and Chloe had also just learned how to ski and were not so fast or capable yet, so it was left up to me to try to, not only keep an on those three, but keep up with Little Billy as well. And he was not happy waiting on me.
We would go up the ski lift to the top of the mountain, the five of us, get off the lift and Little Billy would immediately take his position in our family line at the top of the slope, as if he was actually going to ski with the rest of his family. But then ... he would (all three feet of him) suddenly bend at the waist, lean over with his orange Mohawk ski cap aimed down the hill, tuck his stubby ski poles under his stubby little arms, take the stance of a professional ski racer and ... he was gone! Down the hill, miles ahead of the rest of us, as fast and in as straight a line as he could go, since that allowed for the greatest amount of speed. Me ... I'm still at the top of the slope screaming (because he's only 5), "Little Billy - slow down! Wait for me! Ski back and forth! You're gonna' fall and kill yourself goin' that fast! Back and forth, back and forth," I'd be screaming, as I would abandon the rest of my family to follow after my five year old ski devil.
Sometimes he'd be skiing along and he'd say, "Watch this Mom," and he'd head straight towards a small hill, fly up into the air in a hunched position, land successfully on the other side and turn back at me and smile a big ol' smile. Other times, he would say, "Watch this," and suddenly he'd veer off the slope into the woods (on no apparent path), swerve in and out of the trees (me watching only a vague orange speck moving way too fast through the forest) and then come out somewhere down below me, emerging out of the woods most confidently.
If you have ever skied, you know that it is best if you follow the markers to keep you on the slopes that are appropriate for your level of skiing (ie: green for beginners, blue for intermediate and black for very experienced - we stayed mostly on the green). Little Billy was unaware of these signs and only turned - to stay on our paths - when he would hear me yell, "Turn Billy! Turn!" and then he would suddenly make a very dangerous right turn onto the correct path.
This worked most of the time. When it did not, I would become furious because he would ski so fast and so far ahead of me, sometimes he would go beyond the path too far before I could tell him to turn and then he would come to an abrupt stop. He would always smile at the very dirty look I would give him. He would then have to sit down, take off his skies and either walk up the hill to the green path turn-off or, more commonly, I would have to go to where he was and take off his and my skies and carry both sets back up the hill, sometimes quite a ways, to the turn off path.
And ... you know I was not doing this in silence. I was telling him, "If I have told you once, I have told you a million times ... to slow down. If you would just listen to me, we wouldn't be in this situation. I'm too old to be hauling two sets of skies up any hill in this altitude, simply because you refuse to listen to me." He stayed silent, mostly.
Once, when this mishap occurred one too many times and Little Billy missed this turn-off up ahead, I was screaming, "I told you to slow down! You are just gonna' have to walk up here. I am not coming down there again to help you." About this time, there was this boy riding the ski lift, just above our heads, that I heard say, "Gosh, what a mean mom. Look, he's stuck down there." I looked up at that boy, moving away from me swiftly on the ski lift and screamed, "You don't know how many times he has done this," and then decided that my complaints were surly falling on deaf ears and shut up.
I am certainly not a perfect mom and I am certainly not the best mom, but ... that boy on the ski lift was wrong when he said I was a mean mom.
If he only knew how many miles I have actually skied over the past five years, to keep up with that darling little boy in that Mohawk ski cap, he might just see things differently. If he really understood how difficult a thing this is for a woman of my age, he might just understand such a mother expressing her fatigue and frustration in a moment of harsh words. If he only knew how far I have actually let out the slack on the invisible line that I have attached to that little boy, in order to let him go out into the world, feel the wind in his face and soar as fast as he can ... down a mountain (against my better judgement) ... then maybe he would know.
I was out-voted this year (by my husband) and we were not able to take our regular Christmas ski trip, as he didn't feel as though he could get away from work. I am not happy.
On the upside ... I will be a little older when we are able to go skiing again and that is obviously not good, except that ... it gives me that much more time (between now and then) to work up the stamina to ... try to keep up with my dare-devil son.
It was just Alexis and I in the car. Her with her glass of Dr. Pepper in her lap, wearing the same jeans and t-shirt she wore the day before, hair a mess and her white Sunday shoes on her feet and me in the front seat ... not completely happy that I am having to stop what I was doing in order to go pick up my twins from a friends house - but I do!
As we pulled out on the road in front of our house, Alexis asked me several questions about where the girls were and did I know how to get there. Am I sure I know how to get there? How do I know how to get there? I explain all of this (that the girls gave me directions). "We'll get there," I assure her.
She then proceeds to count; something she does a lot of these days. Lately, counting backwards is her thing and so she rambles on about whether she should start counting from 109 or from 100 and which one I think she should start with. I pick 109 just to see if she can do it. So she starts. When she gets to 90, she skips 90 and goes straight to 89 and I say, "You skipped 90," and she says, "I don't want to say that one." Okay. So she proceeds and gets down to 60 and asks then for my help as she's tired and it's time for me to take over. So I try and give the next number, 59. That's wrong! So I try again and give the number 60. That's wrong! We do this for a few minutes; me trying to be patient and I then say, "I'm not sure what you want me to say." She then says, "Now I have to start all over again. 109, 108, 107, 106 ..." she counts down for the next several minutes - all the numbers. When she gets to about 60 again, she says, "I don't wanna do this," and she stops abruptly. I say "G-O-O-D," under my breath and laugh for a while about this episode because it is soooo representative of my life.
On and on they go about stuff - relentlessly. And most of the time ... I am very receptive to the games, the talk, the questions, the counting, as it is natural and so often kills time that otherwise might be filled with say ... crying or whining. I do prefer the gibberish to the whining! But ... there are moments when the gibberish drives me crazy, like it could have on this day in the car, if I hadn't been so intent on spinning it into a funny moment. I have to do that - spin these moments or I will go crazy!
After the counting numbers episode, Alexis went on to highways. Naming the one she knew and then asking me, "Do you know anymore highway numbers?" And then asking me to name all the ones I knew. Way too much talk about all the highways around our city.
Then she says, "Did you hear that noise (a squeak that came out of her mouth)?" I said, "Yes." She said, "Did it sound funny?" I said, "Yes," and she continued to make the squeaky noise too many times.
Then she said, "What's 211?" Not really asking me, just talking. "It's like 911. If you move away the 2 and put the 9 next to it, it's 911," she rambles. She must have seen this 211 on one of the road signs, because she then began to go on about the road signs; the colors of some, the pictures on some, the big ones and the little ones, blah, blah, blah.
Then she says, "What are cherries?" I said, "What do you mean? They're fruit." She said, "Are they the ones that have stems?" I said, "Yes." "Are they the ones that are a circle with the stem?" I said, "Yes," just as I realized that I had made the wrong turn and stopped to turn around. She says, "Do you actually know where you're going?" after I explained why I was turning around. I said, "Yes."
She then said, "Mom, is it impossible to drive with your windows open?" I said, "No." She said, "Why?" I said, "Because you can drive with the windows open." Then she started talking about schools. "Where is the girls' school? I thought they were at school. Do I go to school tomorrow? What is tomorrow? Is today Sunday?"
I tell this whole dialog that went on during this short trip with my little daughter, as a way of showing how my days are. These are the sort of topics and the pace that our conversations take. Mostly it involves a lot of questions and sometimes my children will offer useful, or more often ... foggy details about subjects that they know nothing about or topics that are of no importance to anyone ... but them.
And ... as much as these lengthy and sometimes exhausting exchanges take out of me ... I will try to never let my children know that it is this ... relentless discussions about numbers, highways and days of the week that can sometimes drive me CRAZY!
It CAN!
Sometimes it makes me C-R-A-Z-Y ---*109, 108, 107, 106 ... blah - blah - blah ....*
On the upside ... I have learned a lot of stuff about bugs and about dinosaurs over the past 15 years. I can name you most any dinosaur - big and small. And ... Pokemon ... I know some stuff about Pokemon ... (*sigh*).
I am so pleased to have received the following awards over the past several weeks. I have been slow in showing my appreciation and am finally getting around to saying thanks to those that passed these great awards on to me.
I am not passing any of these awards on to anyone in this post, but will pass these awards on to others in a future post - I just wanted to at least acknowledge receiving these awards - for now.
Melissa, over at Hope For The Hopeless was so nice to pass on this very nice Tiara-wearing Blogger award- I just love it. Thanks Melissa.
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I was also so pleased to recieve this great "You Make My Day" award from Baby~Amore over at My LittleDrummer Boys. Thank you so much Baby~Amore.
I was also excited when my friend Pam over at Random Thoughts also gave me this nice award - thanks so much Pam - you make my day too!
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And then ... Amy, over at Memories and Musings of a Mommy awarded me this great "Fantastic Fridge Award". You need to go over to Amy's site to find out what this great award is all about - it's very cool! Thanks Amy!
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And then ... The very sweet Natalie over at Red Sox Mommy (Living In a State of Confusion) gave me this great "Friendly Site Award". Thanks so much Natalie.
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And then, Tommie at Tuesday Updates, gave this nice award to all of her readers. Thanks Tommie.
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And then, Vasquez 3 was so nice to pass this fun award on to me. Thanks so much Vasquez 3 !
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And then ..... I was so happy to receive this "Excellent" award from Laura over at Lunatic Fringe - thanks so much Laura.
I was also happy to receive this "Excellent" award from my good friend Kat over at Justabeachkat - thanks Kat!
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And then, JO N over at Shower Your Children With Love The Right Way, was so nice to pass this "Wide Owl Award" on to me. Thanks so much JO N!
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And then ... Irene over at Our Little Piece of the World, was so nice to pass this "A Roar For Powerful Words" award on to me. Thanks Irene.
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And then, my good friend Lizzy over at Life According To Lizzy passed this "You'll Always Have A Room In My Heart" award on to all of her readers. Thanks so much Lizzy!
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And then my friend Melanie over at Livin With Me was so nice to pass this "Loveable Blog" award on to me! I love this nice award - thanks so much Melanie!
I was also so lucky to receive this same award from my Aussie friend Kim over as Frog Ponds Rock - thanks Kim!
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And then, my good friend Summer, over at Summer's Nook, passed this nice award on to me - thanks Summer - I love this award.
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And then - Justabeachcat passed this nice award on to all of her readers - I love this award. Thanks so much.
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My good friend Melissa, over at Hope For The Hopeless, was so nice to pass on this True Blue Award to me. Thanks so much Melissa - I am most grateful!
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My new friend Steph over at My Daily Life, created this wonderful award and I am so honored to be one the first people she has passed it on to.
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My good friend Angela over at Angela's Chocolate & Potatoes passed this very nice award on to me. Thanks so much Angela.
I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THESE GREAT AWARDS - THANKS SO MUCH!!!
I have been tagged again for the 7 Random Things Meme by Forgetfulone and also by Mary @ Happenings Today - thanks ladies for thinking of me.
So, I am going to list 14 things and here it goes:
1. I am a lot funnier in my head - than I am in real life. I can be funny - when I am around the right people (like a few of my closest friends and my family), but I am not one of those people that humor comes to quickly or easily - except inside my head. In my head ... I am HYSTERICAL! This is also true about how I perceive myself - I am way better looking in my head - than I am in real life! Also ... a lot smaller.
2. We have a ghost in our house. Our house is about 40 years old and the ghost lives in the hallway that leads to our bedrooms. When I (and my mother) have seen this ghost, he is always crossing the hallway (from my twins' bedroom) and goes into the bathroom. He wears a black trench-like coat, black boots and black hat (like in cowboy movies). The neighborhood we live in is well known for a particular Indian Tribe living here. I believe this ghost is from that time. My mother and I are the only ones to have ever seen him, but I have seen him at least 25 times over the past 13 years. It has been a while since I have seen him and I have recently began to believe that he has moved from the hallway to my bedroom and sits at the foot of my bed (as I feel the bed move, like someone is sitting - jump up even to see who is there - like one of my kids or a cat - and there is never anyone there. I usually have to then, pull the covers over my head so the ghost won't come near me). I've never been afraid of this ghost - and I am not one to really believe in this sort of thing - but he does live in my house.
3. On a scale of 1 - 10, if you were to ask me how happy I am in my life ... I'd have to say that I am at a 10. And, this is not something that I have just suddenly come to realize - I think I have been at a 10 for a lot of my life. I seldom feel as though my life could be any better. I don't believe that is true of very many people and I feel fortunate to be able to say that. I thank God often for blessing me and for giving me my wonderful life.
4. I totally believe in God. I believe he is standing next to me and guiding me - all the time. I truly believe he is completely aware of how much I love him.
5. Something I hate ... let me list something I hate. I hate "high-maintenance" friends. I want my friends to be simple. I want to be able to call you and say, "What are you doing?" and I want you to tell me, "I'm mopping the kitchen floor." I want you to know that I care about that - I want you to know that you can tell me that, even though it may seem insignificant - I want for that to be how simple our relationship is - that we talk about stupid crap and can turn that stupid crap into an hour long, ridiculously funny, memorable conversation. I want my friends to be completely and emotionally capable of dealing with me and me with them - on the simplest and purest level - no pretenses. I am too old and too tired to have to figure you out - I don't have the patience for that anymore.
6. I do not like spaghetti, pancakes, watermelon, sloppy Joe's, peanuts, cinnamon rolls or pretzels. I can eat all these things, but I don't like them.
7. I am nocturnal. I've always been a night-owl and love the night. I also love a dark room and seldom turn on many lights in the room I am in. I also turn off lights in every room that I think is too bright. My family is just the opposite and are always turning on every light in the room and I go behind them and turn most of them off. My mother complains constantly that I should open the blinds or turn on a light. I like the way a dark room, a cloudy day or the night makes me feel - cozy and closed in. I do, however, also ... worship the sun and love summer and stay outdoors a lot when it is hot.
8. I'd rather give a gift, than receive a gift. I love buying gifts and am always looking for a reason or occasion to do so. I think I drive my friends crazy because I buy gifts often for, what seems like, crazy reasons. I love buying gifts.
9. I keep a lot of lists. I am a list maker. I get this from my Dad - he was and is a list maker. I have lists to keep up with my lists.
10. I am drawn to clocks. I am also drawn to lamps, vacuum cleaners, socks, rugs and throw pillows. I have to talk myself out of buying these items every time I go into any store.
11. I often look at my husband and think, "He is so handsome - how did I get such a handsome man?"
12. We have 9 TVs in our house and one in my van. There is always a TV on, somewhere in our house - sometimes many are on. I keep a TV on at all times when I am home alone - for the noise. I turn the TV on as soon as I wake up. I don't watch TV, hardly ever, during the day ... but it is always on. It is on right now in my bedroom and I have no idea what channel it is on or what show is on.
13. If I had to admit to one regret I have in my life, it would be that I did not do more with my life. While I am completely content and happy with how my life has turned out and totally happy with everything that it is ... I believe that I honestly have not reached or lived up to my true potential. I wish I had had more drive, direction, ambition and detailed goals, when I was younger that might have led me to pursue a path of something that I loved (like animals or art or writing).
14. I do not like to walk or run - anywhere. I don't know why ... but I don't want to do either. I don't have any desire to hike or enter marathons or walk from the farthest parking spot in any lot. I am not a lazy person and I don't think there is anyone in my life that would say that I am - but I don't want to walk or run - ANYWHERE!
Thanks again to Forgetfulone and Mary @ Happenings Today for tagging me for this meme. I know I am supposed to tag seven more people, but I am going to leave this tag open and if you'd like to take it and do it - consider yourself tagged.
Thank you for all the wonderful questions - WOW!!! I will do my best to answer all of them as honestly as I can. Here it goes ...
Jennwa asked:
1. What made you start blogging? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know!
2. Have you always known that you were good at writing stories? I was a horrible student. I was horrible in English. But ... I've always loved to write and have written in one form or the other - for years! I've always "believed" that I was a pretty good writer, but I never realized I was a good story-teller until I started my blog. I think I am a good verbal story-teller and didn't realize, until I started my blog, how easily it translated for me into writing as well. The type of writing I'd always done was novels and poems and journal-like writing. Before my blog, I'd never experimented with "story-telling" or trying various different techniques to tell a story. I'm finding that it comes pretty natural for me and I love it - "story-telling".
3. Why do you blog? I blog to write. I blog now, to tell my stories. I blog to document my children's lives, my life, my husband's life - all of our lives together.
4. What do you find is the best thing about blogging? There are A LOT of great things that come with blogging! The BEST thing about blogging for me is that I am able to be creative. I have always been creative and I am finding that blogging taps into those creative tendencies and I love that! It is very rewarding. I also love that I am documenting my children's lives!
Thanks for these great questions Jennwa!
Summer asked:
1. What is your favorite cheese? I love most any cheese, but I'd have to say I like Swiss the best.
2. Were you sicker with your twin pregnancy than with your others? I never had morning sickness or any other sort sickness with any of my pregnancies. The only negative side affects I had from the pregnancy with my twins (and all my pregnancies) was that I gained 92 lbs. (YEP!) and was not only fat, but UG-LY while I was pregnant.
3. What is it about Texas that elicits such state pride? I don't really know this answer, but maybe it goes back to Texas being a Republic before it became a state. Do you know that Texas is one (if not the only) state that is allowed to raise its flag at the same level as the American flag? Most states are required (?) to keep their flags below or at a lower level. Our kids even pledge the Texas flag in the mornings at school, right along with the American Flag. I personally think it has something to do with the sports - Dallas Cowboys and all and Texas A&M and UT College Football. I think our kids hear it so much on the Texas commercials (how great Texas is - bigger and better, etc.) and their parents believe this also - it's sort of ingrained in generation after generation. It goes way back and yet there are things today that definitely influence this pride.
Thanks Summer for these great questions!
Pam asked:
1. What is your favorite thing about hubby and each of your kids? It's hard to pick one thing about each of them, but I'll try. My favorite thing about Billy is that he is loved by everyone. I don't know anyone that would say he is not lovable and that does not love him. It makes me very proud to be married to someone like that! My favorite thing about Courtney is that Courtney is so smart - she is one of the smartest people I know - in every way! My favorite thing about Chloe is her sweet heart. She is more sensitive than she would admit to and has enough love for everyone! My favorite thing about Little Billy is his casual approach to life. He takes life as it comes and lives it in the moment. You always believe he is "content" and that is quite a fascinating quality and it rubs off on those around him. My favorite thing about Alexis is her desire to live LIFE! She does not want to miss out on anything and would be up for everything!
3. How did you meet hubby? We met right before Thanksgiving, 1983 in a country western dance hall. He saw me as I walked by, turned to his buddy and said, "That's the girl I'm going home with tonight." We've been together ever since. It was love at first sight. God put him right in my path and I was smart enough to recognize what a gift he was!
4. What is your dream vacation? My husband and I take many vacations, sometimes with the kids and sometimes not - so I love those we have taken. But ... my dream vacation would be to take a cruise to the Greek islands.
5. If you could no longer blog, what would you do to save your sanity? Before I blogged, I found ways to be creative. I made furniture for a while, I used to do lots of crafts, I've always invested a lot of time in landscaping and gardening in my yard, I've crocheted, cross-stitched, etc. I've always written too. I would go back to spending more time doing those types of things. And, of course, I'd continue to write.
Thanks Pam for these fun questions!
Kristi asked:
1.Of all of the blog posts you have made, what was your most favorite entry of all time? It's hard for me to pick my favorite, but I can tell you the recent ones that have been favorites of my readers: "What The ...?", "Sometimes I Just Don't Stack Up," "My Boy The Genius," "DQ Stands For ... You Obviously Don't Know Who You Are Dealing With," and "Where Is A Lacy Bra When I Need One?"
Marybeth asked:
1. What are your favorite three blogs to visit? I love a lot of blogs - and I read a lot of blogs - I DO! Now ... there are 3 great blogs that I used to read pretty regularly - Rocks in My Dryer and Woulda Coulda Shoulda and Oh The Joys, that I think are really great blogs, but I don't read them as much anymore just because I don't have the time. I do pop over to those 3 from time to time and visit - when I have time. I am pretty busy and pretty happy reading and visiting all the great moms and writers that I have become friends with! Those 3 I have mentioned are not my FAVORITES anymore, but I do like them! I don't have 3 favorites - I love all the blogs I visit for many different reasons - I DO!
The Vasquez3 asked:
1. What things are too personal to blog about? This is a good question. I think this is different for everyone, but for me - I don't think there are any subjects that I would not blog about, but I will always be very careful about my friends and family and their privacy. I would never tell a story or divulge information about the lives of anyone other than my family (Billy and my kids), unless it was just a simple funny story that I know will not hurt them. I have to say that there is not anything in my life that I would consider too personal - but there are subjects I will never write about. I have a few SEX posts in my drafts that one day - one day - I might just post - if and when I feel the timing is right. It's not the sort of thing I have a problem posting - it's just got to be the right timing. I consider timing with all of my posts.
2. Would you be willing to eat a bowl of live crickets for $50,000? YES I WOULD! $50,000 would help pay for a lot of college and I have twins fixing to go to college in 2 years. If you had said roaches - I'd definitely have said NO! Crickets I think I could do.
3. Which is more important to you: actual experiences or the memories that remain when the experiences are over? What a great question! I think the memories are more important. Your mind seems to have the ability to recognize and store details about specific moments that you aren't even aware of "in the moment" and when your mind recalls the event or day or moment and brings it forth - sometimes the specialness of that day or event is even sweeter than you remember it being. I think our minds have the ability to take more of it in and store the subtle things that our other senses are not aware of and do not appreciate.
Thank you Vasquez3 for these wonderful questions!
Holly asked:
1. Why did you start blogging? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know!
2. What is the big deal about Texas and Texan pride, etc.? I don't really know this answer, but maybe it goes back to Texas being a Republic before it became a state. Do you know that Texas is one (if not the only) state that is allowed to raise its flag at the same level as the American flag? Most states are required (?) to keep their flags below or at a lower level. Our kids even pledge the Texas flag in the mornings at school, right along with the American Flag. I personally think it has something to do with the sports - Dallas Cowboys and all and Texas A&M and UT College Football. I think our kids hear it so much on the Texas commercials (how great Texas is - bigger and better, etc.) and their parents believe this also - it's sort of ingrained in generation after generation. It goes way back and yet there are things today that definitely influence this pride.
3. What is your favorite kind of music to listen to? I love country music. I particularly like ballads.
4. Do you play any musical instruments? I took piano when I was younger for about 6 or 7 years. I can play the piano some, but I don't often play it.
Thanks Holly for these great questions!
Tricki Nicki asked:
1. What do you most like about being a Southerner? I have been in the South for 1/2 of my life, but I was not born here. I do consider myself a Texan now and what I like best about being a Texan/Southerner is the iced tea - we drink a bunch of iced tea!! No - I think southerners are known for being hospitable and nice and I believe that is true. I am proud of that reputation and I like being associated with that!
Thanks Nicki for this great question - I had to really think about this one?
Karen asked:
1. How long has your husband owned his own business? And how involved are you in it, if at all? My husband was an electrician when I met him and one all the way up until the year I became pregnant with my twins (1991). That year, he and I decided that if he was going to stay in the electrical trade he really needed to start his own Electrical Contracting business if he was going to be able to make a long-term living and retire one day. We started the business in June of 1991. I got pregnant in August 1991. Quit my job on Oct. 1, 1991. We started the business with $250.00 in the business checking account. We never (to this day) took out any loans to sustain the business - we just turned the money over and over back into the business and only took what we needed to live on. It was scary those first couple of years, but it always did well - from the day we started it. I handle the bookkeeping for the business and work in the office (attached to our house) several days a week, entering and paying bills, invoicing, taxes, etc. I am part owner of the business and get a pay check from the business. Billy really does all the real work! We've had our business for nearly 17 years. Little Billy talks about taking over Daddy's business one day. I say that is fine - after he goes to college.
2. What was your first reaction after you found out you were having twins? I believed I was having twins before I was actually told 4 months into my pregnancy. When I heard the news I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I felt blessed. It was sheer bliss!
3. How long have you been blogging? I published my first post on 8/23/07, so I've been blogging for 6 months.
4. Do you write anywhere other than your blog? Not yet! I'm working on that! And, thanks for saying that you would read if I did.
Thanks Karen for these great questions!
TheCynicalOptimist asked:
1. What is the worst heartbreak you have ever endured? In January of 1992 I was pregnant with my twins. Something happened that January that was a turning point in my life. It broke my heart in more ways than I ever imagined I could ever endure. It is something I can not go into, as it is very personal, but I am well on the other side of that time in my life and have grown stronger and happier because of what happened. It took many years.
2. If you could make one wish, what would it be? (not more wishes) Alexis said the other day that if she could make one wish on a wishing star that she would wish that EVERYBODY could have one wish - pretty darn smart - hoping she could cash in on their wishes, I think. My wish would be right now ... that my husband could retire. I think my children will make their way in the world - I do. I think I am at peace in my world. I would wish that he could stop working so hard - never have to work again. He works harder than anyone I have ever known in my life.
3. Do you believe in fate? (Fate: Something that unavoidably befalls a person). No I don't. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I believe our lives are in our hands and are dictated by the choices we make. I believe there are different paths our lives can take - depending on those choices. I think that there is an intended "straight" path - an "easier" path and our goal is to find our way back to that path in order to feel our life is balanced. I believe that God is on that "easier" path and that is the path we are intended to be on, but that he allows us to make choices that veer us off that path either drastically or just from time to time. I believe that the choices others make in their lives can cause ripples in our lives and when those ripples touch us, it is our duty to make sure we make the choices that will guide us back to the "straight" path. My life is not dictated by destiny - I believe there are many paths my life can take - that are avoidable and detectable.
4. If you could be blind or rich or deaf and poor, which would you choose? So the question to me is, would I choose sight or hearing? I would choose to loose my sight, I think. I've never honestly thought about this, but when I did, it came to me quickly. I would miss seeing the world and the faces of my loved ones ... but I think I truly treasure the sounds in my life more. The laughter - the songs - the voices. I would miss the voices more than the faces, I think. I can't think about missing the eyes, because that makes me want to cry.
5. What would be a dream career, besides raising your children? Definitely to be a published writer!
6. If a friend could sneak you the winning lottery numbers before they were drawn, would you take them? No. I totally believe that honesty is one the highest of human qualities. I pride myself on having always tried to live an honest life - I would be tempted - like anyone - but I would not do it.
7. You can only shop at ONE clothing store for the rest of your days -- which would it be? I know my family and friends would probably say that this answer would either be ROSS or Marshalls, but I would actually choose Steinmart - I love their clothes.
Thank you TheCynicalOptimist for these fabulous questions!
Hillary asked:
1. What is your favorite childhood memory? I can't narrow this down to just one, but I would have to say that the best childhood memories I have often have my grandfather in them. I am either at his house or on his farm. Most of my favoite memories take place on the farm that he so loved and I loved being there.
Jen asked:
1. What were you like in high school? (I'm picturing you running for class president). My sister and brother are having a good laugh over this question! No, I was not class president. I did not take school too seriously and only wanted to be there because my girl friends were there and for the BOYS!! I was an athlete at times (basketball, track, softball). I was heavy into art! I hung with lots of different crowds - the "pot heads" for a while, the "jocks" for a while, the "artsy" kids for a while, the "white kids that hung with the black kids" for a while ... I was a floater in high school. I was not lost - I was just a floater. Courtney is like that now and I love seeing how she is able to fit into so many different groups. Chloe too, just not as naturally. I always had lots of friends and lots of boy friends - I made sure of that.
2. Where have you met your 3 closest friends, how long have you known them and how often do you see/talk to them? I have 4 close friends that I met 20 years ago. We all worked for the same company and have stayed close ever since. One of those friends, I talk to nearly every single day and the other three, not as often, but we are especially close. The other friend that I am close to right now, is one that I met about 3 years ago. I was searching for her, found her, pursued her, made her love me and now I can't live without her in my life. We talk ever single day and see each other 2-3 times a week, at least. I love my friends!
3. What qualities do you look for in a friend? The most important quality I look for is that the person has to be REAL! I want the friendship to be easy and comfortable - no pretenses or weirdness. I don't want to have to figure you out or wonder what you are thinking. You need to be totally open to me and normal. I want it to be as easy with my friends as it is with my sister or brother - just easy and fun and pure. Don't be mean to me or hateful or jealous. Always give me the benefit of the doubt, like I would give you. Always have my back - no matter what. Laugh with me and talk about anything and everything and all the time. Be available and put me as a priority. These are all the things I try to be to my friends and I hope for the same from them.
Thank you Jen for these really great questions!
Angie asked:
1. What kind of schoolin' have you had (tried to sound Texan, but I think I just sound redneck)? After high school, I went to Junior College her in Texas for an Associates Degree in Business. I quit 3 courses short of getting that degree (all electives too) because I felt like I needed to go to work and found a great job. I ended up working for that same company for nearly 12 years, up until the time I became pregnant with my twins when I quit working to stay home with my kids.
2. Do you/have you ever worked outside the home? The answer above tells you what I did before I stayed home with my kids, but I do work now for my husband's Electrical Contracting company. I am the bookkeeper and I work about 2 days a week (not all day) and I am on the payroll. I'm really only on the payroll for tax reasons.
Thanks Angie for the great questions (and thanks for the tip about the site that will help me with this contest - I will probably do that)!
Katy asked:
1. Years from now when your children are grown up what do you WANT to do with your life? Not what are you going to do, but what would you WANT to do if you could choose anything? I would WANT to be traveling with my husband and writing. I'd love to be an established, published writer by then and be doing that until I die.
Thanks for the great question Katy!
Melissa asked:
What makes you happy? Right now, what makes me happy is when I get the true sense that I am raising a bunch of great kids! I think I am and that makes me really happy! Other than that - lots of things make me happy. There isn't much that makes me unhappy right now in my life. I generally have had a happy life and feel fortunate to say that I have always been quite content. I feel happy a lot!
Thanks for the great question Melissa! (I hope Hope is doing okay!!!!)
Bia asked:
Which cartoon character best describes you? That's easy - I think either the Roadrunner or Speedy Gonzales. They aren't Disney characters, but I choose these two because I move constantly and at the speed of light - I don't do anything slowly.
Which television show best describes your life: "Everyone Loves Raymond", "Desperate Housewives", "24" or "Survivor"? This is a great question. Desperate Housewives is way more drama than goes on in my everyday life, as is 24. I think Survivor is sort of representative of my life - because it often feels like I am trying to SURVIVE, but probably Everyone Loves Raymond is the closest. I say that because my family has often commented (my sister particularly) that I am the "Alpha" in the family and that is sort of like Raymond. I also have quite the cast of characters around me - all fun and funny!! We have our moments of drama and trauma - but, all in all - we're pretty much a normal suburban family that lives our lives around our families and have our moments of roaring laughter and happiness.
Thanks Bia for these 2 great questions!
Rachel asked:
1. What parts of being a mother do you enjoy the most? I never knew if I would really be a good mother. I do not think I am the best mother I could be, but I do a lot of things right and some things very wrong. The things I do right, I have worked hard at getting right and the best part of that is seeing the results of all that hard work. Seeing these children growing up to be loving, kind, respectful, smart, trustworthy, honest, dependable - you know - all those things you try so hard to instill in them. The older they all become, the more evident it is that there are so many things that I have done right and that is the most rewarding part. You don't believe you will ever feel that or see those results - really - but you do. And when you do ... it is a marvelous feeling!!!!
I also enjoy just being around my children - always being around them. Touching them. Hearing them. Seeing them. I don't like some of the work that goes with the raising of them - but I do love having them around!
Thanks Rachel for the great question!
Janice asked:
1. What is your number one most favorite thing about each of your kids? It's hard to pick one thing about each of them, but I'll try. My favorite thing about Courtney is that Courtney is so smart - she is one of the smartest people I know - in every way! My favorite thing about Chloe is her sweet heart. She is more sensitive than she would admit to and has enough love for everyone! My favorite thing about Little Billy is his casual approach to life. He takes life as it comes and lives it in the moment. You always believe he is "content" and that is quite a fascinating quality and it rubs off on those around him. My favorite thing about Alexis is her desire to live LIFE! She does not want to miss out on anything and would be up for everything!
2. Name one thing you have learned from each one of your kids. I love this question. From Courtney, I have learned laughter! She is funny and makes me laugh and she has made me want to laugh more and more and more! She has brought back into my life that sort of laughter that I used to experience as a kid - the kind that comes from seeing the humor in things. The kind that I had with my friends in school, where we searched out the laughter day after day. She is a gift! From Chloe I have learned humility. Chloe is my mirror. I reflect off of her and she me. It is like we are the same person sometimes. It's like I can see directly into her soul, she exposes herself to me so well. She doesn't know this - but it is there. I see myself in her and yet she is a better person than I will ever be! From Little Billy I have learned tolerance. His personality calms me (like his Daddy). He makes me want to slow down and enjoy life - look at the world and appreciate the moment. He is such a sweet boy! From my baby Alexis I have learned happiness. By her coming into my life - when she did- I think she has taught me to just be happy. Choose it and then ... roll around in it. That is what she does and that is how I feel in her presense - happy.
3. I think choosing your friends wisely is so very important, what do you tell you kids about choosing their friends? The one thing that my kids have experienced - too often - is friends that try to "use" them. I have tried to make them realize that "true" friends will do anything and everything to make sure you are happy and taken care of. If they step that line, once or twice, and something hurtful happens and you want to forgive them - that is good, but to be careful not to allow people - even friends - to mistreat you - "use" you - hurt you - make you feel sad. If they do that too often, without little regard for your feelings or wellbeing - then they are not a good friend and you should try to find other friends.
4. Who do you want to win American Idol? I love American Idol! I haven't made my mind up about this yet. I'll still have to watch for a while longer before I can decide.
5. Besides blogging and your kids, what do you do in your spare time? I don't have a lot of spare time. I am currently on the PTA board at my girls' high school, on a separate committee also at their school, I volunteer one day a week at Little Billy and Alexis' school, I work for my husband's business ... I'm pretty busy most of the time. We have a lake house that we all try to get away to when we can - on weekends and in the summer. When we are there, we ski and swim and eat out and go to movies and rent moves - have fun. If I'm home and have spare time - I like to go to lunch or shopping with my friends or go over to their house and just sit and have coffee or tea and talk.
Thanks so much Janice for these great questions!
Dawn asked:
1. If you watch Desperate Housewives, which housewife are you most like? What a fun question. I asked Courtney which one she thought and she said Lynette because she has twelve million kids and she is kind of crazy and because she is the coolest one (according to Courtney) and her husband is opening up his own business and my husband has his own business. I'd have to agree - I'm pretty darn cool (tee hee). Lynette - definitely.
2. What is your favorite place to be and why? In the winter, and right now - my favorite place to be is at home. I'm not always a home-body, but lately that is where I am drawn to and where I want to be. In the summer - my favorite place to be is at the lake (at our lake house), as that is where we have to most fun as a family. I love being there.
Thanks Dawn for these great questions!
Betsy asked:
What do you most fear? I've said this quite often over that past several years. Because I think I am a pretty strict mother and because I don't always think I am the best mother ... my greatest fear is that my kids will leave home one day and ... never come back to me.
Thanks Betsy for this great question!
Jenn @ Juggling Life asked:
1. If you could be anything other than what you are, what would it be? I really have never had ambition or dreams to be anything other than what I am - I am where and who I want to be. I'd simply love to add to the mix, at times. I've always longed to be a "real" writer - so I'd definitely add that to the mix. I'd love to do something in my life that meant something - you know - something big and important and meaningful (other than raising my 4 wonderful children). I'd like to be that person that put forth that extra effort or came up with some brilliant idea that solved some huge problem or worry - like the cure for cancer or world peace or poverty and hunger. I long to feel like "I mattered" in this world sometimes and if I could contribute in some big way that was important - I think that would be my untimate fantasy!
Thanks so much Jenn for this great question!
Amanda asked:
1. You sound like a great mom who really has her life balanced; household stuff, teenagers, slightly younger son, little daughter, blogging. I hardly get anything done and I only have one toddler. How long did it take for your family to find this balance? This is a nice compliment Amanda, but I do not always feel balanced. I have found that the longer I have had kids, the easier the balance is to find, though. It's just like anything, I guess - you begin to see the problems or issues and look for ways to solve them. I am also quite the "control freak" and totally live by "there is a place for everything and everything has its place". As crazy as that can make people around me - it does lend itself to a pretty organized life. I believe whole-heartedly that I live an organized life and that helps keep things in a little more balance. Chaos begets chaos - it does! Plus, I also get a lot of help now around my house from my kids. My teenager's first priority is their school work and sports, but I do expect them to do a certain amount of chores - Little Billy and Alexis too. That helps with the housework, some. And ... my husband is always willing to pick up any slack that I can't handle myself - like taking kids to basketball practice or stopping by the grocery store for milk and bread. I'd have to say that Billy contributes A LOT to the success of our busy lives!! He always has! I don't do it ALL on my own - NOT EVEN! It does get easier with time though.
Thanks Amanda for this great question!
Kelly asked:
1. What kind of jobs have you had in the past? Before I had kids, I worked as a waitress, I worked as a cashier in a grocery story, I worked at Dunkin Donuts, I worked as receptionist and then I worked as an Account Manager in the Credit and Collections department of a large computer manufacturing company for nearly 12 years, right before I had my kids. I now work with my husband in our own business - I am the bookkeeper.
2. If you could travel anywhere, where would it be? At different times - this answer would be different. But, overall I would love to go to the east coast of the U.S., Hawaii, Greece, England, Australia, Switzerland and Japan. That's just how I feel today. Ask me tomorrow and I might have totally different answers.
3. What is your favorite song? For the past several years, my favorite song has been "Believe" by Brooks and Dunn. I love that song!
Thanks Kelly for all the great questions!
Steph asked:
1. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be and why. At different times - this answer would be different. But, overall I would love to go to the east coast of the US, Hawaii, Greece, England, Australia, Switzerland and Japan. That's just how I feel today. Ask me tomorrow and I might have totally different answers. Now, why? I've never been to some of these places or haven't been for many years and would just love to go and see them.
Thanks Steph for this great question!
Queen of My Domain asked:
1. Which of your children do you see yourself in the most (not looks mind you but mannerisms)? I think my twins are the most like me. They are also a lot alike too. But, they don't share all the same quirky things - they like split my quirky things between them. Chloe is a lot like me in her "common sense" approach to life and Courtney tends to be a "control freak" more - just like me. They are also very loud and I can definitely be very loud. They are very out-going, more so than me, but they get that from me more than their father. They are also equally as stubborn and opinionated and they definitely get that from me. It would be both Courtney and Chloe - but probably Chloe, if I had to choose one.
2. What does your family think of your blogging and do they ever read your posts? My husband is always looking over my shoulder to see what I am writing or reading, but he never goes on my sight on his own (that I know of). And I often sit in bed at night and read the stories to him - just so he knows the sorts of things I am writing about - he gets a kick out of that. My kids don't read my posts, except every now and then Courtney and Chloe will get on and read one after the other to sort of get caught up. They do love hearing about something I posted "that day" and will ask me what my post was about that day. My mother, dad, sister and brother-in-law, read pretty much everyday and sometimes one of them will even leave a comment. My family is still trying to figure out what I am doing. They all seem to enjoy the stories and get a kick out of me being able to come up with the stories and write them - but, I think they are not all totally "clear" on why I BLOG - you know. They are very tolerant though and realize that it makes me happy and is something I want to do - so they totally support me.
3. What is the one thing that is always guaranteed to put you in a good mood? Without a doubt - if I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror and see that yesterday's hair - is good to go!!! If I have to mess with my hair in the morning too much - it can put me in the worst mood for a while. Also - If I am in a bad mood, if my husband shows me kindness or gives me a smile - that always softens me right up!
Thanks so much Queen of My Domain for these great questions!
Tommie asked:
1. How old were you when you got married? I was 22 years old.
2. Where was your favorite place to live growing up? I loved when we lived in Virginia, but I'd have to say my favorite place was Germany.
3. What is one thing you want to do before you leave this earth? The one thing I want to know before I leave this earth is that all of my children are settled in their lives and truly happy. The one thing I'd want to do - that I honestly think I could achieve - is to be a published writer. I'd also like to reach the point where my husband and I are at the point where we have slowed down enough in our lives that we return to that relationship we had prior to having kids - the one where we held hands a lot, kissed a lot, looked into each others eyes a lot, held each other a lot, had sex a lot and all we had to do all day was be in love!
4. What is your favorite place to eat? We have a Mexican restaurant here called Pappasitos - that is definitely my favorite place!
Thanks so much Tommie for these great questions!
Kaci asked:
1. What is your favorite fruit? This is not an easy question - I thought it was until I really started to try and answer it. I guess, if I have to choose one, I'd say grapes (Concord).
McSwain asked:
1. What's your guilty pleasure? I'd definitely have to say chocolate, but I also love TV. I always have to have a TV on with some sort of chocolate nearby. Coffee too - with Hazelnut creamer.
Thanks McSwain for this fun question!
Mama Meji asked:
1. What was the worst thing you did as a wife? The only thing I can think of is when I got really mad at my husband one year for not buying me a Birthday present - I got in my car and left. I stayed away from the house for hours and was so angry (this was many years ago) ! I wanted so badly to leave that night and never come back - but I really had nowhere to go, so I came home. It was an awful night and it was just me being a big ol' baby! He didn't deserve any of it! Other than that, I am sometimes pretty demanding and could honestly say that I do something every single day that makes me a "not-so-great" wife.
2. What is the worst thing you ever did as a parent? When my twins were about 3 years old, I got angry and grabbed Courtney by the arm. She walked around for about a days with a little gimpy arm and I was so worried and heart-broken that I had really hurt her. It was on that day that I decided that I would never be a parent that used my hands to discipline my children. yanking is one thing I hate to see a parent do to their little child and I tried to never do that again. I've done it once or twice or three times - over the years - but, I am always ashamed when I do it!
3. What was the BEST thing you did as a wife? On my husband and my 20th wedding anniversary, I threw ourselves a party and invited lots of our friends. I spent weeks trying to find my husband the perfect gift. I decided to secretly buy him a Corvette (something I knew he would love - duh) and gave it to him on the night of our anniversary party. He was surprised and very pleased, but it made me feel wonderful because it was my way of showing him how much I love him and how important he is in my life. Not that I "gave" him a car - but that I went to the trouble and he never expected me to do something like that for him.
4. What is the BEST thing you ever did as a parent? I'd like to be able to say that it was introducing them to God - and I have done that, but not to the best of my ability - like my parents did for me. I'd have to say, so far, the best thing is that I have tried to instill in each of my children to be the "best" they can be - at school, as friends and as people. I think I've done a good job at this, as they are all really great people!
Thank you Mama Meji for these great questions!
N8 asked:
1. What size shoe do you wear? (so when you decide to give away some of those shoes, I will kow if they fit me). I wear an 8 1/2, but sometimes I can fit in an 8 and sometimes a 9 - so I have all 3 sizes in my closet - mostly 8 1/2.
2. What would you never ever blog about? I would never blog about any of my friend's or my family's lives - not details - only an occasional story that I know would not hurt them. I would never blog about politics - it just doesn't interest me to get into that sort of heated discussion. I would never blog about some stories in my life that are too personal to me.
3. What is your favorite song from high school? This one isn't easy - as high school was a long time ago, but probably "Stairway to Heaven". I listened to Queen, Chicago, America, The Eagles, Aerosmith - those types of bands - that tells you how old I am and more.
4. What is your middle name? My middle name is Renee. Kellan Renee.
5. What is your most embarrassing moment? I really don't have one embarrassing moment that stands out in my life - that's weird, I know. I'm a "control freak" and we tend to be the type of people that try very hard not to put ourselves into situations where something embarrassing will happen (HA!). Day to day, the thing that embarrasses me the most is when I can't remember someone's name - I am awful at recalling names and it happens all the time - I hate that!
Thanks Christina (N8) for these great questions!
Kelli asked:
1. Where did your name "Kellan" come from? I happen to love my name, so I am always happy to answer this question. My mother had a friend in high school that had the name Mary Kellan and that is where my name came from. My name is Kellan Renee, though. I have a cousin that had a little girl at the same time I had my twins (15 years ago) and named her daughter Mary Kellan - I was so jealous that I hadn't thought to use the name for one of my girls - I love it. They call her Mary-Kellan.
2. What is your middle name? Renee is my middle name.
3. Have you always lived in Texas? if not, where else? No. My dad was in the Army, so we moved a lot when I was growing up. I was born in West Virginia and have lived in Michigan, Colorado, Virginia (twice), Texas (twice) and Germany. I ended up in Texas in 1978 and have lved here ever since.
Thanks Kelli for these great questions!
My Goodness asked:
1. I want to know if you potty trained your boy like you trained your girls ... what was your technique? He was harder to train than my girls and I don't know if it is because he was a boy or because he was my "second" child. It took longer (he was nearly 3 and my girls trained about 14 months). I used a lot of tricks to try to get him trained, like bribing him and reward charts. He finally trained at almost exactly his 3rd Birthday and I think he was the one that made that decision and it had little to do with me by that point.
2. What are 5 of your biggest pet peeves? I can't stand to see or hear someone smacking their lips when they eat or chew gum! I don't like prentious people. I don't like jealousy - to see it or feel it or be on the butt-end of it! I don't like dropping things - it drives me crazy! And, I don't like to see or experience unfairness!
Thanks Tina (My Goodness) for these great questions!
Laura asked:
1. I would love to know more about your twins story. I really want to share their story and I am going to answer this question in a separte post (soon).
2. Why did you start your blog? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know! I started it to have somewhere where I could write daily.
3. What do you like about blogging? There are A LOT of great things that I like about blogging! The BEST thing about blogging for me is that I am able to be creative. I have always been creative and I am finding that blogging taps into those creative tendencies and I love that! It is very rewarding. I also love that I am documenting my children's lives! I also like meeting all the other bloggers - great writers and mothers!!
4. What do you dislike about blogging? Honestly ... I don't like how competitive it can sometimes feel. I don't like the amount of time it consumes and that I can't visit everyone I'd really like to visit. I don't like that I don't understand so much about the technical stuff. I don't like how people that don't "blog" - DON'T GET IT! I don't like - sometimes - how much I LOVE it!
Thanks so much Laura for these great questions!
Regina asked:
1. When you get to heaven (and I love that she believes I WILL go to heaven), if you can ask God ONE question, what would it be? This is a GREAT question, because I totally believe in God and believe that one day I will stand in front of Him. This question is also not that hard for me, I would ask him, "How did I do?" I totally believe that life is a "test" and we are "tested" every single day. I believe that we all try to do our best at living our lives and I would want to know, in God's opinion - how I did. Was I a good person? Did I live a good life? Did I not waste the gift? It would be an interesting answer for me, as I feel I have lived a good life and have embraced the gift!
Thanks Regina for the GREAT question!
The Boyds Family asked: (Thanks for the really nice comment, by the way!)
1. Do you have a nickname? If so, what is it and how did you get it? I really don't. My grandfather and my father often call(ed) me Kelly, but they are the only ones that do. My sister and brother and mother often call me Kel. Some folks, behind my back, call me "The Whip" and think I don't know this - but I do.
2. Where do you get all these great pictures that go so perfectly with your posts? I didn't always put specific pictures with my posts - early on. When I decided to start doing that, I found that I LOVED it! It was a part of blogging that I found that really tapped into my creative side and it has been so much fun trying to find the perfect picture. Sometimes I can't. I find most of them on Google Image or Yahoo Image. You just have to search and search sometimes, but they are fun to look for!
3. What is your favorite movie and why? I tend to really like movies that have a dark setting and are set in some place interesting like New Orleans or Fargo. Fargo is one of my favorite movies. Interview with a Vampire is one of my favorite movies. The Big Easy, I love too. I like LOTS of movies and mostly I think I like them for the setting and the dialect. I love a New Orleans or Fargo or English or Australian accent and also if the movie exposes the culture or particulars about the "setting". I think the setting - the background - the surroundings ... play a big part in any story - they are a character of their own and I love Interview with a Vampire because of the setting and that movie made me believe in Vampires and I liked the story a lot. I liked "The Others" too, because it was a great story and a dark setting. I like a lot of dramas - those are my favorite type of movie. I love the movie "Delores Claiborne" because of the setting and the acting and the story. Lots of people are not drawn to dramas and lots of people are not drawn to dark movies - I love them the most!
4. Who is your favorite author? I have never been much of a reader. I know, it's not common for those that love to write - not also to love to read. I do like to read and have read lots of books, but I don't LOVE it. I think the main reason is because I don'tt have the patience for reading - the patience to invest the time into a book. I don't sit for very long doing any one thing and reading requires a lot of sitting. I've never been one to SIT. I wish I was and could settle my "self" enough to sit and enjoy reading - but it is not in my personality. I have to be in motion, most of the time. I don't have a favorite author for these reasons. Somehow, not being a "dedicated" reader myself - I have still managed to instill in my kids the love of reading - my kids love to read and be read to! I DO believe it is important and a gift! (I am most fascinated by Steven King).
5. How do you find the time to be such a wonderful wife, terrific mommy, awesome friend (because I'm SURE you are!) and outstanding blogger? First, let me say that I do not think I am always a wonderful wife or terrific mommy. These are my two most important roles in my life and the areas I try to focus on the most and I find MANY areas where I fail at. I am constantly aware of my failures or faults and try my best to change or correct those things daily. I'm becoming a better mother as the years go by - but I am NOT the best mother or wife. I think I am a GREAT friend though. As long as you are a good friend to me - I find it easy to be a good friend to you. I think I know what makes a good friend and it comes easily for me to give all to my friendships and do whatever it takes to shelter those friendships. As far as being an "outstanding" blogger (thanks). I tend to be a very focused person. I am very organized and driven. I approached blogging like I approach most things I do in my life and that is with lots of energy and ambition. Once I found (quickly) that I loved it, I immediately began investing in it and that meant that I started to try to learn as much as I could (quickly) and then did my best to try to figure out ways to form it into what I wanted it to be. For me - I wanted it to be the "best" I could make it - I still do. I am always looking for ways to do it and make it better. I am always looking for ways to write better and be more interesting. I find that some of it comes easily to me and some of it doesn't and what doesn't, I work hard at figuring out. It all takes a lot of time - to balance it all - I have sacrificed a lot of sleep in order to have my blog and become a better blogger - I have. But, I get plenty of sleep.
Thanks so much The Boyds Family for these GREAT questions!
Joanna asked:
1. How did you meet your husband? We met right before Thanksgiving, 1983 in a country western dance hall. He saw me as I walked by, turned to his buddy and said, "That's the girl I'm going home with tonight." We've been together ever since. It was love at first sight. God put him right in my path and I was smart enough to recognize what a gift he was!
2. How do find time to balance everything? I have found that the longer I have had kids, the easier it becomes to find a balance. It's just like anything, I guess - you begin to see the problems or issues and look for ways to solve them. I am also quite the "control freak" and totally live by "there is a place for everything and everything has its place". As crazy as that can make people around me - it does lend itself to a pretty organized life. I believe whole-heartedly that I live an organized life and that helps keep things in a little more balance. Chaos begets chaos - it does! Plus, I also get a lot of help now around my house from my kids. My teenager's first priority is their school work and sports, but I do expect them to do a certain amount of chores - Little Billy and Alexis too. That helps with the housework, some. And ... my husband is always willing to pick up any slack that I can't handle myself - like taking kids to basketball practice or stopping by the grocery store for milk and bread. I'd have to say that Billy contributes A LOT to the success of our busy lives!! He always has! I don't do it ALL on my own - NOT EVEN! As far as fitting in the things I want to do for myself - like blogging or gardening or whatever - I just do everything else REALLY FAST so I can squeeze in time for me.
3. What does your family think of you blogging? My husband is always looking over my shoulder to see what I am writing or reading, but he never goes on my sight on his own (that I know of). And I often sit in bed at night and read the stories to him - just so he knows the sorts of things I am writing about - he gets a kick out of that. My kids don't read my posts, except every now and then Courtney and Chloe will get on and read one after the other to sort of get caught up. They do love hearing about something I posted "that day" and will ask me what my post was about that day. My mother, dad, sister and brother-in-law, read pretty much everyday and sometimes one of them will even leave a comment. My family is still trying to figure out what I am doing. They all seem to enjoy the stories and get a kick out of me being able to come up with the stories and write them - but, I think they are not all totally "clear" on why I BLOG - you know. They are very tolerant though and realize that it makes me happy and is something I want to do - so they totally support me.
4. How do you know what to share and what not to share? My blog is not one that offers a daily "look" into my life (that is one of the reasons I did the Q&A). I post daily "stories" about specific moments or conversations that go on in my life. I don't have many stories that I have written that I have had to decide whether or not to post (I have a few). I write my stories based on something that is said or something I have seen. When a moment happens, I write the story and then put it in my drafts. I pull stories from my drafts - usually. Sometimes I will post a story that I wrote just the day before because of the timing, but usually I pull a story from my drafts and post it according to what I want to say that day. I don't often have to think about the content of my daily post, because it is simply a matter of whether I want to talk about Billy that day or the twins or Alexis or whatever. It's not based on content as much as I feel like I am a "story-teller" and so I offer a differnt story every day. I do not write anything that I do not intend to share - some day.
Thanks so much Joanna for these great questions!
Frog Ponds Rock (Kim) asked:
1. What is your favorite flower? My favorite flower is the state flower of Texas - the Bluebonnet. I love it for it's color and when it grows wild in the spring (everywhere) it is a sight to behold!
2. Have you traveled out of America? Yes! My dad was in the Army and so we lived in Germany for 3 years (1976-1978). While living there - our parents dragged up to every country that surrounds or is near Germany. I've been to a lot of Europe, but we never made it to Greece or England when I lived there. I've been to Canada, The U.S. Virgin Islands, Grand Caymen, Jamaica, Mexico - lots of places on crusies (we've been on 9 cruises). I love traveling and visiting new places.
3. What do you enjoy cooking? This is another question my family is getting a good laugh over! I do not like to cook. I don't mind baking sometimes, but I'm not that fond of baking either! I love good food, but HATE to cook and find NOTHING enjoyable about cooking!
4. What are you reading at the moment? I started reading Eragon (my kids talked me into it) a while back, but have put it down and haven't picked it up since. That is the last book I started. I'm not really reading any book at the moment.
5. What is your favorite color? Green is my favorite color - like sage green.
Thanks Kim for all these great questions!
Tammy asked:
1. Who was your hero growing up? I would say my grandfather. I admired him, I looked up to him, I respected him, I wanted to be near him - I loved him very much!
2. Who is your hero now? My children are my heros now - particurlary my twins. I am vicariously living my life through them. I love everything about how they are living their lives!!
3. How do you think your life would be different if your twins and six year old were boys and your ten year old was a girl? Oh, this is a good question! I truly believe having more girls - has made me a better person and a better woman. I'm not sure I (personally) would have experienced that if I had had more boys than girls. It would be fun to know what I would be like - what our lives would be like if there was more boys than girls. I always wanted girls (but was so HAPPY to have that sweet boy thrown into the mix)! I don't honestly believe I would be as good a woman (ME personally) if I hadn't had all these daughters!
4. What's your favorite all time movie and why? I tend to really like movies that have a dark setting and are set in some place interesting like New Orleans or Fargo. Fargo is one of my favorite movies. Interview with a Vampire is one of my favorite movies. The Big Easy, I love too. I like LOTS of movies and mostly I think I like them for the setting and the dialect. I love a New Orleans or Fargo or English or Australian accent and also if the movie exposes the culture or particulars about the "setting". I think the setting - the background - the surroundings ... play a big part in any story - they are a character of their own and I love Interview with a Vampire because of the setting and that movie made me believe in Vampires and I liked the story a lot. I liked "The Others" too, because it was a great story and a dark setting. I like a lot of dramas - those are my favorite type of movie. I love the movie "Delores Claiborne" because of the setting and the acting and the story. Lots of people are not drawn to dramas and lots of people are not drawn to dark movies - I love them the most! I also loved "The Hours"! I'd have to say my most favorite is "Interview with a Vampire" - I could watch it over and over and over again. I know - a little weird. I think I was a vampire in another life.
5. If you could have lunch with one person from any point in time, past or present, who would it be? It would be Jesus.
Thank you Tammy for the fabulous questions!
Becky asked:
1. How many people view your blog a day? I have anywhere from 150 - 250 view my blog in a day, depending on the day of the week. Generally it is about 200 - 225 or so.
2. How long does it typically take you to write out a post? Typically, about 1/2 an hour. I always work from a note I have jotted down (something Alexis said, something I saw, etc.) and I sit down with that note and if the story is there, it will come out very easily. If it is not "really" a good story, I will realize that pretty quickly and abandon it quickly. I don't force a story that "does not want to be told". Usually I know the moment I hear or see something that I can make a story out of it and the story comes easily. I don't search for stories, I watch for them to happen and make sure I jot down the moment (I always carry a pad with me). When I have time to write, I review my little jotted down notes (usually something very short that simply reminds me of the moment or conversation) and start to write. I try to shape my stories a little differently - and usually that comes easily as well, from the first word I put on the page. It is usually that beginning that will determine if the rest of the story works or not for me. I have come to believe that if the story was meant to be told, it will unfold easily and that has worked so far. Usually I spend about 1/2 the time editing (changing words or format).
3. How do you remember all the people you comment on your blog? I think you are asking, how do I remember them "personally". This is not always easy. I don't have a problem remembering their blog or their names with their faces or the blogger themselves. I don't have a problem really remembering some of the details of their lives - like where they live or what they do if they work or something about their husbands. What I have the most trouble with is remembering how many kids they have and their kids' names. I guess that is hard for everyone, as we have a bunch of kids amongst us!! I also sometimes find that I think I know something and realize I didn't or was wrong about something and that will throw me. I try very hard to really get to know all my visitors on some level. I usually read their profile and at least a few posts if I've never met them before, so I will feel like I know them a bit when/if they come back and visit me again.
4. Do you prefer gold or silver? In jewelry, I am split right down the middle - I wear both and love both. I also have gold and silver frames and such in my house, but I prefer silver. I'd say I am really more drawn to silver.
5. Do you do a lot of entertaining? I don't ever do formal enteraining! We often have friends or family around and do that sort of entertaining. We don't have parties often, but we have had many parties over the years. I do entertain a lot of kids - there is always some bunch of teenagers in my house (like right now, there are 2 of my girls' friends over and last night there were 2 also). I like having lots of people around and am the most comfortable when I am surrounded by friends or family.
Thanks Becky for all these great questions!
Baby-Amore' asked:
1. Have you ever had a caravan/trailer holiday? Not since I was a kid and we had a pull along RV that our family used for a short while to travel. I love the idea!
2. What is the best advice about raising twins anyone ever gave you? Without a doubt - keep them on one schedule!
3. Have you ever been or will you ever visit Australia? No, I 've never been, but I'd love to visit!! I'm hoping one day to visit on my book tour (tee hee)!
4. Do your children like you blogging about them? I think they love it! They often want to read or have me read the stories I write and they seem to enjoy them. Alexis and Little Billy aren't aware of all of the stories I have written about them, but those they become aware of, they are so proud - like they feel special that I would take the time to write about them. My twins get a kick out the stories I write about them because they think they are so funny and so they don't find it surprising that I would want to document their "funniness"! None of them seem worried that I would write anything they wouldn't like and I think that is because they KNOW I wouldn't.
5. What is the most embarrassing thing your twins ever did or said? I honestly can't think of anything they have ever done that was embarrassing - I can think of thousands of things they have done that have made me proud, though!
Thank you Baby-Amore' for all these great questions!
JCK asked:
1. Do you have a certain time of day that you blog? No. I blog all day long. If I have somewhere to go - I go - and then when I get back I blog. If I have chores to do - I do them - and then I sit back down and I blog. I do it all day long, from the moment I wake up, until the moment I go to bed. I do LOTS of other stuff inbetween, but I seldom just sit and do nothing - I usually blog. It's crazy - I know!
2. What does your husband think about your blogging? He induldges the time it takes. He likes to hear the stories. He hopes that all the time and energy I have invested will result in something other than blogging - I think. He knows that I enjoy it and so that makes him happy that I have found this thing that I love so much.
3. When did you know that you loved to write? I've always believed that I was a "good" writer, but I didn't know that I loved to write until right after I was pregnant with my twins, quit my job and stayed home (over 16 years ago). I was looking for an "outlet" for myself when I became a SAHM and found writing. I've written in one form or another ever since. Until blogging, it has only ever been for myself.
Thanks JCK for the great questions!
Natalie asked:
1. What do you consider your greatest accomplishment in life? Really - having snagged and held onto such a great man for 23 years! He has been the greatest gift in my life and having such a solid and wonderful marriage and such a great partner, friend and husband is an accomplishment I had hoped for in my life, but never really knew I could accomplish or sustain - does anyone?
2. Were their names you just loved when you were thinking of your children's names, but your husband hated them and you didn't get to use them? My husband "let" me name all the girls and was adamant about naming our son after himself (he's a Jr.). I would have loved to have had say-so in the naming of our son, as there were so many great names I wanted - but, I felt it was only fair. He had no preferences or objections when it came to naming the girls, he just left it up to me. It worked out nicely for me.
3. How did you meet your best female friend? All of my closest friends - I worked with. We all worked together at the same company year ago. We've stayed close ever since. I have other close friends that I have made over the past several years and the one I am closest too right now I met through my twins. My twins and her daughter are very close and I met her through school functions and such and we have become great friends!
4. What is your dream car? Well ... I've been driving a van for over 16 years - so I just dream about driving any car that is not a VAN! I'm a big TransAm, Firebird, Camero fan - I'd take anyone of those cars as a convertible and white.
5. What do your favorite pair of pajamas look like? Right now I am attached to a stupid pair that are like a pair of capri pants and tank top - they are lime green and bright pink and have Betty Boop all over them - they are ridiculous!
Thanks so much Natalie for these great questions!
Family Adventure (Heidi) asked:
1. Do you write blog posts in advance, or do you sit down to write a new post every single day? I write the story when it comes to me and then store it in my drafts. I probably have about 40-50 stories right now, saved in my drafts. I am always watching and listening for a story and when I hear or see something that I think will make a good story, I jot down a note about the incident and keep it in a file. When I have time to write, I will pull all my notes and see if there are any stories to be told from the notes I made. Sometimes, something happens and I run right away to my computer to write a story, because it hits me as being a particularly good story and I feel the need to write it right then. I won't necessarily post it the next day, though, usually it goes into my drafts and I hold it to post when the timing feels right. Some days I write 3 or 4 stories. Some days I don't write any. Many days go by where I don't write a story. Sometimes I wonder if another story will ever come - and yet they always do. I have lots of ideas in my "idea" folder and sometimes I pull that file and try to make a story out of one of those ideas that didn't seem like a good idea before. Some of the ideas will never be a story and some of them will be a story one day. I find that the story is either "there" to be told, or it isn't. I never force a story - it either comes easily or it doesn't. If it doesn't - I abandon the idea quickly and try to move on to another idea or walk away from trying to write a story at all. If I try to force it - it is NEVER a good story! And ... I NEVER try to search for story ideas. I have found that if the story is meant to be told - it will FIND me and hit me in such a way that I know it immediately. Not every funny or touching moment makes for a good story - no matter how hard I try to make it!
2. How much time do you spend commenting on other blogs on any average day? It's a lot of time. Everyday is different, but I'd say it's anywhere from 5-6 hours or more. I devote a lot of time to building up a relationship between myself and other bloggers/mothers/writers and feel it requires a lot of time and dedication to do that (you know!)! I have tried to find ways to do it as effeciently as I can, because I don't always have the same amout of time in one day, as I might have had on another. I usually do it early in the morning and late in the evening - not all day long - usually.
3. Do you expect your younger daughter to be close to her older twin sisters when they grow up? Why or why not? I think once my twins leave for college, there will be a time where she won't be very close to them. I think they will be close (I hope) when the twins are settled into their careers/marriages and have time again for Alexis. I think they will enjoy having a younger sister around - once they reach an age that they will be able to appreciate that youth and what she has to offer. I plan to do whatever I can to encourage all my kids to always try to be close to each other.
Thanks Heidi for all these great questions!
Forgetfulone asked:
1. What is the proper blogging etiquette when someone posts a comment on your blog? Comment them in return? Do nothing? I think this all depends on what kind of blogger you are and what your goal is. If you want to build a relationship with other bloggers or a larger readership, then I think it helps when you respond to their comments by leaving a comment on their blog. If you are a blogger that has no interest in building relationships or readership - then, it makes sense that you would not be interested or expected to answer a comment by leaving a comment. I don't think there is a "proper blogging etiquette" - I think it is what works for your own individual blog. There should not be rules, as everyone's blog is THEIR own individual space. I personally respond to anyone that leaves a comment - with a comment, because I think it shows that I am as determined to be as loyal a reader to your blog as you are to mine. I think that responding to comments with comments is a tool - to connect you to other bloggers. Everyone should feel free to use that tool anyway they want - no rules.
2. Do you write for a living? (other than blogging) No I don't. I never have.
3. Besides your own, what is one blog you just have to read everyday? I love a lot of blogs - and I read a lot of blogs - I DO! Now ... there is 1 great blog that I used to read pretty regularly - Woulda Coulda Shoulda - that I think is a really great blog, but I don't visit as much anymore just because I don't have the time. I do pop over from time to time and visit - when I have time. I am pretty busy and pretty happy reading and visiting ALL the great moms and writers that I have become friends with! I really don't have ONE that I have to read everyday - I have LOTS that I have to read everyday - and LOVE IT!
4. Does anyone in your family read your blog? Yes. My mom, dad, sister and BIL read it everyday. I have some extended family that also read it from time to time (cousins, uncles and aunts).
The Dragonfly asked:
1. Living in the South, do you miss the seasons? Autumn is my favorite season ... where you live do the leaves ahnge color etc.? I do miss the seasons. I love the snow and we never get snow here (we have, but it is rare). Our trees change color in the Fall, but unless you are in an area (like the hill country), you don't notice it. In the hill country it is beautiful and there are areas of Texas that are known for the beautiful fall display and people drive there to see the hills and trees change color.
2. As a mom of 4 you've had many different experiences with parenting. What is one thing you'd recommend I make an effort to do with my son while he's still small? I know you are reading to your son - so I won't say that. I think all of my children are very confident. If I had to say one thing I think I did right with my children, I'd say that - that I somehow helped them build tremendous confidence. Confidence will serve you well in life and I believe it is essential to success of every kind! But, it has to be a humble confidence - not one that is flaunted or misused. There is a fine line and that is hard to teach. Find a way to teach your child to be as confident as he can be - that would be my advise. If they have complete confidence in themselves and are taught to use that trait wisely - they will figure EVERYTHING else out on their own and all you have to do is guide them - not drag them or pull them or them following others - into life.
Thank you The Dragonfly for these great questions!
Thank you Kim! I wish we did live right next door to each other too!
Rachel asked:
1. If you had one day to do anything you wanted with no consequences, no restrictions - nothing - what would you do? I take over the world and I'd try to fix - really fast - all the things I THINK are wrong in the world!
2. If your life were a novel, what would the name be and what would the first and last lines in it say? If my life were a novel it would be titled, "An Ordinary Life". The first line would read, "She was a beautiful baby," and the last line would read, "It was an ordinary life, but anyone would consider themselves lucky to have lived a life such as this."
3. If you could give your children just one piece of advice that would actually stick, what would it be. I would advise them to spend lots of time idenitifying their potential and NEVER waste, not even one second, at developing and utilizing that potential to do good things in their lives, with their lives and in the lives of others.
Thank you Rachel for these really great questions!
One Scrappy Gal asked:
1. Did you think The Smurfs were creepy? HA! I don't I ever DID, but I DO now that I think about it.
2. Have you ever tried to lick your elbow? Yes.
3. What is one of your most embarrassing stories? Something humilitating that you suffered at the hands of one of your children? This is about the 3rd time I've been asked to remember some sort of embarrassing story and I honestly can't recall any - not even at the hands of my children. That's weird right? Like nothing strange or unpredictible ever happens to me. I guess it does - but no stories stand out as being all that embarrassing. Sorry - I have searched and searched my brain and I can think of nothing.
4. Tell the truth ... did you participate in hands across America? Or did you leave a gap, you heathen? No I did not participate - I left a gap.
5. What's your favorite pie filling? I'd have to say either pumpkin or pecan - maybe blackberry.
Thanks so much One Scrappy Gal for the great questions!
Jenng asked:
1. You mentioned church dresses, do you attend a specific church regularly? Yes I do. I grew up Baptist, but my family and I have been attending a Methodist church for the past year or so - pretty regularly.
Thanks Jenng for the great question!
Sting asked:
1. I would like to know how you and your hubby met and how he proposed? We met right before Thanksgiving, 1983 in a country western dance hall. He saw me as I walked by, turned to his buddy and said, "That's the girl I'm going home with tonight." We've been together ever since. It was love at first sight. God put him right in my path and I was smart enough to recognize what a gift he was! He never really proposed to me in the traditional sense - we were just meant to marry and one day we did. We had discussed it often and set a date and were married. There was no real proposal.
2. What was your first reaction when you found out you were pregnant with your twins? I believed I was having twins before I was actually told 4 months into my pregnancy. When I heard the news I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I felt blessed. It was sheer bliss!
Thanks you so much Sting for these great questions!
Sniz asked:
1. Did you always know you liked to write or did you kind of find out through blogging? I've always believed that I was a "good" writer, but I didn't know that I loved to write until right after I was pregnant with my twins, quit my job and stayed home (over 16 years ago). I was looking for an "outlet" for myself when I became a SAHM and found writing. I've written in one form or another ever since. Until blogging, it has only ever been for myself.
2. I'm curious about how you decide what to blog about ... and how you decide on the "flavor" of the post ... whether you write it in 3rd person as a story, complete with creative imagery, or when you write realistic, "this happened today" posts. Know what I mean? I write the story when it comes to me and then store it in my drafts. I probably have about 40-50 stories right now, saved in my drafts. I am always watching and listening for a story and when I hear or see something that I think will make a good story, I jot down a note about the incident and keep it in a file. When I have time to write, I will pull all my notes and see if there are any stories to be told from the notes I made. Sometimes, something happens and I run right away to my computer to write a story, because it hits me as being a particularly good story and I feel the need to write it right then. I won't necessarily post it the next day, though, usually it goes into my drafts and I hold it to post when the timing feels right. Some days I write 3 or 4 stories. Some days I don't write any. Many days go by where I don't write a story. Sometimes I wonder if another story will ever come - and yet they always do. I have lots of ideas in my "idea" folder and sometimes I pull that file and try to make a story out of one of those ideas that didn't seem like a good idea before. Some of the ideas will never be a story and some of them will be a story one day. I find that the story is either "there" to be told, or it isn't. I never force a story - it either comes easily or it doesn't. If it doesn't - I abandon the idea quickly and try to move on to another idea or walk away from trying to write a story at all. If I try to force it - it is NEVER a good story! And ... I NEVER try to search for story ideas. I have found that if the story is meant to be told - it will FIND me and hit me in such a way that I know it immediately. Not every funny or touching moment makes for a good story - no matter how hard I try to make it!As far as the "flavor" of the story - that usually comes from my mood (somber or playful or serious ...) or the "mood" of the story I'm trying to tell. Or, the story just comes out easily in say, 3rd person. Sometimes I reword certain posts (in my mind) using different techniques, but I don't spend a lot of time on it. If it is meant to be in a unique or differnent tone then it will be pretty clear to me before I even sit down to write it.
3. How much time do you spend writing, editing, checking and commenting on other blogs, daily? Do you have a set time, or is it randon (i.e. 3 hours on Monday, but you only had 1 extra hour Tuesday, etc.)? I don't write every day. I write when I have a story to tell. It's kind of like my mind clicks into a "story-telling" mode. It is only in that mode at certain times - not when I want it to be. I spend about 1/2 an hour writing a story and 1/2 an hour editing - generally. I spend anywhere from 5-6 hours a day reading and commenting on other blogs - everyday. I usually do most of my blogging about 3 hours in the early morning and 3 hours or so in the late evening. I also do a little all day long - but not for long stretches - 1/2 hur here - 1/2 hour there. I usually have the same available time every morning and every evening - it's my days that I never know how much time I will have.
4. Is there a rhyme or reason to the frequency of your posts? i.e. do you have a goal to post something daily, etc.? I post a story everyday. I am considering taking weekends off and will probably start doing that pretty soon. Right now, I have lots of drafts in my file and so I don't feel the pressure of "coming up with a story". If my drafts dwindle down, I become more panicked and feel more pressured. If it got to the point that I didn't have stories in my drafts and the stories didn't come easily anymore - I would not post daily - JUST to post daily. I want my blog to showcase stories I have to tell - if there is no story, then I would not post until I have one.
Thanks Sniz for all the great questions!
Eagles Wings asked:
1. Do you like Chinese food? YES I DO! I love it.
2. If yes, what dishes are your favorite? If not, why? I like anything with pork or chicken or beef in it and lots of stir-fried veggies. I'm not crazy about seafood in Chinese food. I'm also not crazy about a lot of noodles, but I love rice and especially fried rice. I love crabmeat rangoons. I love egg rolls with that hot mustard. I love the sweet sauces.
3. Have you ever tried cooking Chinese food? I'm not a great cook and No, I have never really tried. I've made fried rice.
4. What are the basic manners you teach your children? Now, this is where I have failed as a mother. I've tried to teach them to be polite, courteous, respectful, kind, caring - all those things. They are all of those things, except they aren't don't have very polite sometimes. They seem to be good in public and with other people, but here at home - NOPE!
5. What are your favorite chores? I don't like any chores, but I don't mind working hard in my gardens or in my yard - I love those types of chores. I also don't mind clothes shopping.
Thanks Eagles Wings for these great questions!
dlyn asked: (Riley is right - I'm sorry, I forgot. I owe Riley a cookie)
1. Do you like to travel? I do like to travel - I am always planning family trips to this place or that and my husband try to get away on some traveling sort of vacation at least one a year without the children.
2. Where do, or would you like to go? I'd love to go to Greece or Japan or New York or the east coast of the U.S. I've been to Europe, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Grand Caymen Islands, Jamaica, Mexico, Canada and all over the U.S.
Kami asked:
1. Have you ever considered writing a book? Yes. I have actually written several books - I've just never had them published. I've written fiction, non-fiction and children's books. Maybe one day I'll actually publish a book.
2. If you did, what would it be, fiction or non-fiction? If I were to write a book right now - a new book - I'd write non-fiction. But, I'd also like to write fiction. The books I've written have potential - a couple of them, but I don't think I would seriously consider having any of those published - not now, anyway.
3. Who would be the main character? If it was non-fiction, it would probably be a book about my kids - they'd be the characters of the book - like my blog is. As a matter of fact, our lives might make a pretty good fiction book too - using those same kids as the main characters.
Thanks Kami for the great questions!
Karen Meg asked:
1. Have you ever been to Canada, and if not, when are you gonna come up for a visit? Yes I have and I loved it! We took a cruise in the Spring after 9/11 (what year was that?) out of NY that went to Canada. I can't remember all of our ports we stopped in right now (when I do, I'll come back an list them), but it was beautiful and I loved it! It's the only time I've ever been and I wasn't there that long, but I did buy a pair of white tennis shoes (I had forgotten to pack tennis shoes) in a little corner store in one of the towns and I still have those shoes. If I ever go back I will definitely come knocking at your door my friend - you are my first Canadian blogging friend and I love you!!
Thanks Karen Meg for the great question!
Eileen asked:
1. How do you deal with the stresses in your life? Well ... not very well, sometimes. When I feel stressed, it is usually because I have too much on my plate and on those days or during those weeks, I just do the best I can to get through all I have to do as gracefully and as FAST as I can! I like to talk out my stresses with my husband or mother or my friends. Usually if I can get the crap out of my head or off of my chest I can clear my head, set a plan or goal and refocus my energy on achieving that goal.
Thanks Eileen for this great question!
Annie asked:
1. What TV show is your biggest guilty pleasure? Right now I would say it is between LOST or Americal Idol.
Thanks Annie for the great question!
Jennifer H asked:
1. Do you remember the first song you and your husband danced to? Was it that night? I don't remember the song, but we did dance. He took my hand, led me to the dance floor and ... we danced! All night long - we danced (and kissed). I fell in love on that dance floor and I was in such a cloud I couldn't name one song that played that night if you paid me a million dollars. I wish I did know what that first song was.
2. What was the first concert you ever attended? I have NEVER been to a concert! I lived in Germany when I was in high school and we didn't have any concerts to go to over there. When I came back to the states, I probably could have gone, but I never did. I've only ever been to concerts (shows) of country music stars (Alan Jackson, The Judds, etc.). I know - pretty pitiful.
Thanks Jennifer for the great questions!
Bren J. asked:
1. If you could have chosen where you were born, where would you pick? This is a great question, but I wouldn't change a thing. I was born in a tiny town in the hills of West Virginia - where my mother and father's family's are all from (and some still there) and I love that place more than any place I have been on earth. I never lived there myself, as we moved a lot with my father being in the Military, but we went "home" often. I have said many, many times that it is the most beatiful place I have ever seen. I also wouldn't want to be born anywhere but in the U.S. I think I am so fortunate to have been born in America!!!!!
2. What do you hope is the greatest gift you will ever give your children? I hope I instill in them a strong belief in God - that has always been my greatest gift and that would be a gift for them as well!
3 & 4. Since you've been around the Mommy block a few times, what's the best piece of (serious) advice you would give to a Mama-Newbie? The best piece of silly advice? Serious advice would be to try your best to do whatever it takes to instill confidence in your child. If they have confidence and use it wisely - they will make their way in the world and be successful and happy at whatever they do. If you trust yourself and love yourself then ... you tend to be able to love others and treat others right. If you believe in yourself then it doesn't matter what others say or believe about you. If you have confidence then you tend to be clear minded about your goals and ideas and you are apt to make better choices. It's huge. Now, the best piece of silly advice: Never let your kids know that McDonalds gives away toys - NEVER!
5. If we ever get to Texas, can you arrange a pony ride for the Little goat or can we crash at your Lake House? Yes and Yes!!! Let me know when you are coming!
Thank you Bren J. for these great questions!
Maria asked:
1. You blog about your kids often, and I love to hear the stories. They seem like such GOOD kids! Have your kids ever done anything that really made you mad? (Just wondering, thought it might make me feel more normal). They couldn't be a better bunch of kids - really! BUT, the answer to this question is YES! Little Billy and Alexis fight a lot and that makes me mad. Courtney and Chloe seldom ever do anything I ask the first time and that makes me mad - constantly. No one in my family ever puts anything back where they got it and that MAKES ME CRAZY MAD! My kids are like anyone else's kids - they get into things, make bad choices, fight too much, yell all the time, make messes everywhere they go, etc. But, they are GREAT KIDS!! I think, honestly, that they are far better kids than I am a mother!
Thanks Maria for this great question!
Andrea asked:
1. What would Chloe, Courtney and Alexis' names have been if they were boys? Courtney and Chloe would probably have been Christian and Cole (I was big on the "C" names) and Alexis might have been Brennon.
2. And, what would Billy Jr.'s name have been if he had been a girl? Mallory. That was the name I had picked out for a girl.
Thanks Andrea for these great questions!
HRH asked:
1. What is your favorite blog to read? (Well, yours, of course!!) I could never choose one as my favorite. I like so many blogs, for different reasons - don't you!?
2. Have you always been a Texas? No. I was an Army brat that ended up here in 1978 and I have been here ever since! I consider myself a Texan, but I wasn't born here.
Thanks HRH for the great questions!
LunaNik asked:
1. So, when I e-mail TLC about your blog and suggest that they film your family for a reality show (I really AM going to do this btw), and they offer you a show, will you do it?? I read this question to my husband and the most frightened look came over his face - I am not kidding! I don't think I would ever want cameras filming our family, day-in-and-day-out. I appreciate your confidence in us - that we'd be entertaining and all - but, I don't think we would be reality-TV worthy! Nor do I believe I could stand for the world to see everything that ACTUALLY goes on in our house - we are CRAZY loud and most of the time nothing is FUNNY around here until WELL after it happens - you know - in retrospect! No, I don't think for one minute we could do it! I would write a book though - if you want to write someone about that (tee hee)!
Thanks so much LunaNik - you are one crazy girl and I love ya!
R Family of 4 asked:
1. Do you have a quote or words that you live by? I don't really have a quote, but I do often say, "Everything happens for a reason," and I believe it. I also constantly say that "Life is choices and our life is the result of the choices we make." I also find myself saying, in the course of conversations, "Well ... On the upside ..." and that is why I named my blog On The Upside. I am an "optimist" and always believe "There is an answer to every problem"!
Thanks R Family of 4 for the great question!
Leah asked:
1. Did you always plan to have a larger family? No I didn't. I figured we'd have 2 kids. Somewhere along the way - we had 4 kids and I don't know how that really happened, me being so organized and such a "control freak" and all (??)!
2. Do twins run in your family or was it just random fantastic surprise that you had twins? There are no twins in our family. And, Courtney and Chloe are what are called monoamnionic twins - the rarest type of identical twins (they share the same amnionic sac and the same placenta) and those type of twins (identical) are not the type that are hereditary - fraternal twins run in families.
3. You've talked about being an older mom; was it by choice or circumstance (didn't find the right guy until later, had problems getting pregnant, etc.)? I didn't want kids until I was 30 years old - I just never wanted them before then. After I had my twins, we waited 5 years until we decided to have another baby and little Billy was born. Four years later - our surprise baby - Alexis was born when I turned 40 years old. She was not planned, but she is the greatest gift and I couldn't imagine my life without her!!!! Any of them!! (My husband and I married when we were each 22).
4. What are your pet peeves? I can't stand to see or hear someone smacking their lips when they eat or chew gum! I don't like prentious people. I don't like jealousy - to see it or feel it or be on the butt-end of it! I don't like dropping things - it drives me crazy! And, I don't like to see or experience unfairness!
5. Is there anything in your life that you would go back and change? Yes! I would definitely have never started smoking. I know it probably surpises you that I smoke! I've quit several times (for long periods of time), but am smoking again. I have promised Alexis that I will quit when summer gets here and I will - this time for good!!
OHMommy asked:
1. Shoes tell a story. What were the very first shoes you purchased with your own money and what were the very last shoes you purchased? Describe them from one shoe lover to the next (details!)? Okay, when I lived in Germany, I was 15, 16, and 17 years old. I worked my very first job when I was 16 (waitress and cashier). When I lived in Germany, us kids wore a lot of "hip-hugger" jeans with embroidery all over them (I still have my favorite pair that I wore back then). Us kids were into ADIDAS tennis shoes - we called them AW-DE-DAs. ALL of us kids had our own special pair. I bought a pair of white with three green strips on the sides. I was very proud of those ADIDAS and wore them everyday with my letterman jacket! I also remember buying a pair of dark redish brown tie-up mokisans and when I didn't wear the ADIDAS, I wore the mokisans - those were the kids we were. Now ... I have come a long way from ADIDAS and mokisans. The most recent pair of shoes I have purchased is a pair of satin-y pink high-heels (3"). They are pretty, but will only go with the perfect outfit (that I don't actualy own yet). There is a wide strap just a over the toes (they are open toed) and then a thinner strap above the wide strap that goes over the top of the foot. They are covered in beads and sequins. I bought these shoes because they were on sale and I didn't have one single pair of pink shoes. They are cute and I can't wait to find an outfit to go with them (tee hee). Maybe I'll find a great outfit and bring them to SF with me and then you can see them in person!
Thanks OHMommy for the great question!
Cindy asked:
1. How did you start reading my very wonderful niece's Laughingleahloveslillies blog? I don't rememeber if I found Leah or if Leah found me, but she and I have been friends for many months. If I found her, it was probably by way of seeing her comment on someone else's blog. How ever we became friends - I am so happy we found each other!! I love visiting her blog and can always count on her to brighten my day with her sweet and funny posts! Her smile alone - makes me happy!!
Thanks Cindy for the great question!
Angela asked:
1. Why did you start your blog? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know!
2. Do your kids have accents? I don't think they have accents. I would imagine if they went to NYC or somewhere up north, people might pick up on a bit of a Texas accent - but, it is not an obvious Texas drawl!
3. And seriously, what is your favorite about being a mom? I used to think that I loved being a mom to babies (and I did!), but ... I am sooooooo enjoying being a mom to my teenage daughters. Not all of it is fun, but a lot of it is!! I think my very favorite part is watching them grow into the people they will become, someday! I find that I truly "like" all of my kids and that surprises me. I honestly thought that there might be a time when they might "rub me funny" - you know - that I might even get to where I loved them, but didn't "like" them all that much, because they would grow into people I couldn't relate to or be a certain way that would make me CRAZY! Now ... they aren't all grown yet, but ... so far - I really LIKE all of them, A LOT! That has to say something about me as a mother and I love that part!
Thanks so much Angela for the great questions!
Andrea J asked:
1. If you had 2 hours to do whatever you pleased, how would you spend it? Right now - because it is winter and I didn't get to go this year - I'd spend it snow skiing! I love to snow ski and missed going this year!
Thanks Andrea for this great question!
Lucille asked:
1. What is your biggest fear? I've said this quite often over that past several years. Because I think I am a pretty strict mother and because I don't always think I am the best mother ... my greatest fear is that my kids will leave home one day and ... never come back to me.
2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? This is a hard question. I wouldn't want to actually live anywhere but in the U.S., but if I could have a house in different places that I could visit for a while, I'd want one in the mountains, one in the tropics and one in Europe and then I'd also want a $20million yacht so I could get to all my houses (tee hee)!
3. What would you take with you if you were on a deserted island? I'd definitely take lots of paper and pens. I'd take my kids and husand. I'd take a hammer and nails. I'd take toothbrushes. I think that's all I'd need. We'd make due eating clams and coconuts. We'd build us a house. We'd be happy if we had each other and could manage without all the rest - even coffee and chocolate. I considered taking coffee and chocolate, but realized it would run out at some point, so decided it would just be better to go cold-turkey from the get-go!
4. What is your favorite song? Right now, and for the past several years, it is "Believe" by Brooks and Dunn. I love that song!
5. If you weren't blogging, what would you be doing? Well ... right this very minute if I wasn't blogging, I'd go get that shower I've been meaning to take for the past 2 days (tee hee!). If I weren't blogging everyday, I'd use that time to write and also work on my house (I'm always decorating/re-decorating) or yard. I'd spend more time doing crafty stuff or find some project to get involved in (I always have some project going around my house).
Thanks Lucille for all these great questions!
One Scrappy Chicklet asked:
1. I read that you have only lived in Texas 1/2 of your life. Where else have you lived? My dad was in the Army, so we moved a lot when I was growing up. I was born in West Virginia and have lived in Michigan, Colorado, Virginia (twice), Texas (twice) and Germany. I ended up in Texas in 1978 and have lved here ever since.
2. Which do you find more challenging, raising girls or Little Billy. And why? Girls - definitely! Maybe because I have 3 girls and just 1 boy. Definitely because they talk way more than boys and they have more needs and are more demanding. My girls are very good girls, but they require so much more attention than Little Billy does - in every way! Drama is big with girls and that makes every situations fifty times bigger and more important to them than it actually is - it is EXHAUSTING sometimes. They also just need/want more things (tampons, jewelry, shoes, clothes, books, CDs, bras ...), boys just don't seem to need/want as much - give Little Billy a sling-shot and a pile of rocks and send him to the back yard and he is happy for DAYS!!!!!
3. What is your one trait that you hope your children carry over to their adult lives? Definitely, self-confidence! I totally believe that if you use this trait wisely and fairly and humbly ... it has the potential to serve you in everything you do in your life and also serve those around you.
4. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas is my favorite holiday - definitely!
5. Do you have any "turning into my mother" episodes? I had a few of those a few years ago - now ... I HAVE DONE MORPHED INTO HER! Really!
Thanks Tami (One Scrappy Chicklet) for these great questions!
Girlymom asked:
1. So after thinking about what my questions would be, I guess I just want to know from the best ... how you do it all? Well ... first of all, I'd hardly say I am the "best" and I don't think anyone in my world would use that term to describe me either - but thanks. I do what I can - the best I can - AS FAST AS I CAN!! Being organized is the key ingredient to staying on top of as much as possible. I have always been an overly-organized (anal) person and that helps to "give the illusion" that you are handling everything. I, for the most part, do think that I am able to stay on top of most all that goes on in my/our world ... but, it has taken me these many years to get to the point where I have it "down"!! And ... I don't do it all alone. My kids and my husband and my family help with all of it! My husband is my best partner and I couldn't do anything that makes our lives go or keeps us functioning in a semi-straight line - WITHOUT HIM and all of his support and help!!
2. How bad are the teenage hormones? What surprises am I in for? I soooooo worried about this too! Since I am an older mom, I often joked that my girls would enter puberty at about the same time that I entered menopause and that was going to be horrible! I am not quite old enough for menopause and so that didn't really happen. And, as far as the teenage hormones, I have been pleasantly surprised that it has not - yet- been all that obvious or difficult to deal with. My girls are very much tomboys and so that helps, I think, as they are more interested in sports than boys and not all that into the girly stuff that can trigger tantrums and drama. It's not been all that bad. I think keeping them involved has helped - as they have less time for whining and crying about stuff - they just have to get it done - you know!
3. I hear the schedules are nutty, how do you manage the kids schedules, your life, family life and still have time to be witty with your blog? Sometimes the schedules are nutty! First - I depend on my husband to help out a lot. I don't know how women do it without the help of their husbands (and there are MANY that do!). Second - I just try to stay organized by keeping calendars and careful of scheduling appointments and such. Third - we limit the amount of activities each kid can be involved in and don't let them do sports in the summer months at all, so that is a break for the entire family and we just have all summer to have FUN! The older my girls are getting (and will be driving soon), this summer thing will change, as they will be able to choose more what they want to do and also be able to get themselves there. It all gets easier with time, really! You just learn where the problems are and find ways to eliminate or work with those issues. As far as my time - Since all of my children are now in school, I use that time for me. I do still have lots of responsibilites (house, business, yard, school committees, etc.) that I have to allow time for, but ... I make sure now that there is time in everyday to do the things I want/need/like to do. As long as I get everything else I am responsible for doing - I feel like the rest of the time left is mine to use as I wish. Therefore - I try to do all that other stuff REALLY FAST!!
4. I saw you are hoping to be a published writer (totally agree and would definitely read) besides a way to capture your family life, do you have other goals for your blog? I think this blog will always be where I write about my family and my life. I have thought about creating another/other blogs where I could write about other things and write totally differently. I don't know how I would ever manage more than one blog and that idea is just sitting in the back of my mind for now. As far as goals for this blog - I have visions of it being better than it is now. I'm pretty happy with it right now and feel it represents what I want it to say and is doing most of what I want it to do - I just imagine it could get better and better and that is what I continue to strive for.
5. Are you making any decent money from BlogHer? I only recently signed up for BlogHer and only in the past couple of weeks finalized all the required paperwork. I would be very happy if I made money from my blog, as it sort of jusifies that amount of time I have invested and my husband would be happy that I at least made a couple of bucks. I haven't made any money yet, as I only recently finalized the agreement. If I ever make any money, I'd be happy to let you know how that goes or you could and let me know!
Thanks Girlymom for all the great questions!
Kim-d asked:
1. When is your Birthday? My birthday is May 2nd.
2. What is the best material gift you have ever recieved? I have more than one, but none of them were purchased for me. I cherish a walking-stick that my grandfather (on my father's side) gave me, because he made it himself and used it often when he walked around on his farm. I cherish the veterinary bag that my dad gave me. It was his first medical bag that he used when he started his verterninary practice years and years ago. I cherish an antique doll that used to be my grandmothers (on my father's side) that she left for me. And, I cherish an antique doll that used to be my other grandmothers (on my mom's side) that my mom gave to me one Christmas. Also ... I consider my children to be the greatest gift of all - besides my husband! (And, I do like my wedding ring a lot!).
3. When we're young, we sometimes think we don't want to be like our mothers, but that changes (usually). What is the best way in which you have turned out to be JUST LIKE your mother? I wish I could say that I am as kind as my mother is, but I can't. I wish I could say that I am graceful and as beautiful as my mother is, but I can't. I wish I could say that I am as considerate and loving and friendly and tolerant as my mother is - but I'm not. Of all the wonderful things that she is that I can honestly say I have inherited and have actually achieved is that I think I am generous. I learned this quality from my mother and I think I am that. All the other things I have mentioned (and many more wonderful qualities) - I strive for - I'm not there yet on many of these, but maybe one day and can say that I am all those things and I was lucky to get that from her!
Thanks Kim for all of these great questions!
JenKneeBee asked:
1. You mentioned that you had only been to the concerts of country singers. Do you mostly list to country music? Yes - it is all I listen to, when I have a choice. When we are in the car with my teenagers, they normally take over the radio and we listen to their stuff and I don't mind most of it. At home, it's sort of the same, as they often have music playing in different rooms. I have come to really love Kelly Clarkson - her most recent album. I like lots of different music and all sorts of songs that aren't country, but when I turn on the radio I listen to country.
2. Who are your top 3 favorite muscians? I'm going to list singers, cuz I don't reckon I really know any specific muscians that I could name. I like George Strait, I like Trisha Yearwood and I like Garth Brooks.
3. Have you ever put mentos into a 2 liter of Diet Coke and watched it explode all of the place? No I have not and do not tell Little Billy about this little chemistry experiment as it is soooooooo something he would love!!
4. If you had a theme song, what would it be? What a great question! I think if my family were to be able to name this theme song, they might choose something like "CRAZY". I could pick the theme song for my life, it would probably be, "Who Let The Dogs Out?" If it was a theme song for me personally, I'd hope it might be, "Don't Worry - Be Happy" or "Believe".
5. If you were in a band, what would it be called? Definitely, "Headless Chicken".
6. Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with Jabba the Hut or Gollum? I'd probably choose Jabba the Hut as he couldn't probably actually catch me if I were running away from him!
Thanks JenKneeBee for these FUN questions!
Sharon Brumfield asked:
1. What is the most romantic gift you have recieved from your DH? My hubby is not a very romantic person - NOPE! I'm not even sure he can spell the word romantic. But, I guess the most romantic gift he ever gave me was my wedding ring, as he personally picked it out and I loved it. On our 10th wedding anniversary, we had my ring updated (actually replaced), but I didn't trade-in my original ring, I kept it to give to my son when he meets the girl of his dreams.
Thanks Sharon for this great question!
Hetha asked:
1. If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be and why? I don't think I would like his life, but I would want to be my husband for a day. I could then find out what it is really like to be married to me and hopefully see those things that I am and things I do that I might be able to change to make his life better. I'd also like be inside of him and learn how to be more patient and giving. I could learn a lot by being my husband for a day - especially how to be a lot better person!
Thanks Hetha for this great question!
For Love Of Home asked:
1. Can you name all of your elementary school teachers? Nope! I can only remember 2 - my second grade teacher's name was Miss Baily and my sixth grade teacher's name was Miss Walters.
2. What is your most embarrasing moment during high school dating? When I was 16, I was babysitting. I had asked my boyfriend Ritchie to come over to be with me. My parents would not have approved of this and somehow my father found out that Ritchie was there, came knocking at the door, I hid Ritchie in a closet, my dad searched the entire apartment with a flashlight and found Ritchie crouched down in the corner of the closet and asked him (politely) to go home. The next day at school everyone at school was talking about how Kellan's dad had found Ritchie in the closet - quite funny, but embarrassing.
3. What was your first car? I bought my first car with my income tax money, when I was 18 years old. It cost $1,200.00 and it was this little white Dodge Colt wagon. It was a stick-shift and I didn't even know how to drive a stick, so my dad taught me in one night and I drove it to work the next day, parked it on a hill, forgot to put it in gear and when I came out from work in the afternoon, it was at the bottom of the hill. My next car was the car I really wanted, a white Camero Berlinetta with blue interior.
4. Was there someone in your life that you always tried to be like? I didn't realize it until I was much older, but it would be my parents. I am very much like the both of them (combined) and it is because I KNOW I heard everything they ever said to me and watched everything they ever did. Looking back on my childhood I can see now that I was fascinated by how they lived their lives - and was also as a child.
5. What is your best friends' name? I won't use their real names, as there are 4 that I consider my very best friends. The first friend has the same first name as Priscilla Presley's daughter. The second one's name rhymes with oozie or doozie. The third one has the same first name as the blonde bomb shell that used to be on Baywatch and was married to Tommy Lee. The 4th one has the same first name as Posh Spice from the Spice Girls.
Thank you For Love Of Home for these great questions!
Gina asked:
1. What was your first car? I bought my first car with my income tax money, when I was 18 years old. It cost $1,200.00 and it was this little white Dodge Colt wagon. It was a stick-shift and I didn't even know how to drive a stick, so my dad taught me in one night and I drove it to work the next day, parked it on a hill, forgot to put it in gear and when I came out from work in the afternoon, it was at the bottom of the hill. My next car was the car I really wanted, a white Camero Berlinetta with blue interior.
2. What do you drive now? I drive "The Big Blue Van"! It is a Ford Econovan - with a conversion package on it. I've driven a van (mini or other) for the past 16 years - I'm ready for something other than a van - that is for sure!
3. If you don't drive your dream car now, what is your dream car? Well ... I've been driving a van for over 16 years - so I just dream about driving any car that is not a VAN! I'm a big TransAm, Firebird, Camero fan - I'd take any one of those cars as a convertible and white.
Thanks so much Gina for all these great questions!
Justabeachkat asked:
1. Is Kellan a family name? (I love it!) I happen to also love my name, so I am always happy to answer questions questions about it. My mother had a friend in high school that had the name Mary Kellan and that is where my name came from. My name is Kellan Renee, though. I have a cousin that had a little girl at the same time I had my twins (15 years ago) and named her daughter Mary Kellan - I was so jealous that I hadn't thought to use the name for one of my girls - I love it. They call her Mary-Kellan.
2. If you could go back and re-live one day, what day would that be and why? To choose one day, it would be to go back to the day that I smoked my first cigarette and not do that - for obvious reasons. If I could choose a thousand days, I'd go back and be kinder to my mother on all those occasions I was unkind!
3. If you could spend the day with one famous person, who would it be and why? It would be Jesus. I would just want to be near him.
Thanks so much Justabeachkat for these great questions!
Wonderful World of Weiners asked:
1. If you were forced to eat only one food item for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? Potatoes! I love potatoes and you can make potatoes so many different ways - so that would be my choice.
2. If you could pick a different first name, what would it be? Maybe Renee. That is my middle name and I really like that name.
3. If a movie was made about your life, what would it be titled? It would be titled, "Perpetual Motion". It's not a very romantic title or alluring title, but it best describes my life - always moving in one direction or the other and always in motion. 4. If you found the end of the rainbow, what would you hope to find? I'd not only hope to find Him there, I truly believe He is there - it would be God!
5. If you had to be one, would you rather be blind or deaf and why? I would choose to loose my sight, I think. I've never honestly thought about this, but when I did, it came to me quickly. I would miss seeing the world and the faces of my loved ones ... but I think I truly treasure the sounds in my life more. The laughter - the songs - the voices. I would miss the voices more than the faces, I think. I can't think about missing the eyes, because that makes me want to cry.
Thanks so much Hallie for all these great questions!
Sheri asked:
1. What is your favorite touristy thing to do where you live? Probably going to the Riverwalk. Our city is know for its Riverwalk and I always enjoy going there.
2. Where is your favorite area in Texas to go for a weekend getaway? We have a lakehouse at a lake in the hill country and I love going there - it is beautiful and resort feeling and so relaxing! I also love going to the Frio River - camping!
3. Were you popular in high school? I really wasn't! I always had lots of friends and boyfriends, but I wasn't popular.
4. Who was your first boyfriend and don't leave out the juicy details? I always had lots of boyfriends, but my first serious boyfriends' name was Junior. The first one I thought I really loved, you know. I was 16 years old and I lived in Germany. We went to school together and lived on the same post in Stuttgart, Germany. He was a good boyfriend. He was kind and sweet and cute and funny. We kissed a lot. I remember sitting on the stoop of our house with him, in the evenings. We'd hold hands and kiss - it was a lot of fun - all that making out! We were inseperable for about a year. I have only fond memories of Junior. My father was transferred (he was in the Army) back to the states and I had to leave Junior behind (I was 17 years old). It was very hard. We lost touch and I have never seen him again.
Thanks Sheri for all the great questions!
Amy asked:
1. What is your favorite book and why? I have never been much of a reader. I know, it's not common for those that love to write - not also to love to read. I do like to read and have read lots of books, but I don't LOVE it. I think the main reason is because I don't have the patience for reading - the patience to invest the time into a book. I don't sit for very long doing any one thing and reading requires a lot of sitting. I've never been one to SIT. I wish I was and could settle my "self" enough to sit and enjoy reading - but it is not in my personality. I have to be in motion, most of the time. Somehow, not being a "dedicated" reader myself - I have still managed to instill in my kids the love of reading - my kids love to read and be read to! I DO believe it is important and a gift! (I am most fascinated by Steven King and I love the stories that Ann Rice tells).
I was tagged to do "7 Unique Things About Me" meme by Nikki @ My Boys and Me.
Then I was tagged by Holly @ Two Kids & Tired for similar meme (Six Things You Don't Know About Me).
And then, I was tagged by Viking Conquest for the 7 Unique Things meme again.
And then I was tagged by Becky @t Stuck in Frump - Striving For Fab for 7 Unique Things.
And then I was tagged by Karen @ The Rocking Pony for 7 Unique Things.
And then I was tagged by Darla @ Tortoise In The Fast Lane for 7 Unique Things.
And lastly I was tagged by Vasquez3, yet again.
Can you believe I was tagged that many times this last week - jiminey! I don't have enough interesting things to fill that many memes. I'm going to come up with as many as I can - a little more than 7 - just so I feel like I have fulfilled my duty.
Here it goes:
1. My family says I am a bit obsessive. I don't like anything out of place. My brother purposely comes to my house and randomly moves objects just to see how long it takes me to notice they are moved ... and then move them back. Then my family laughs at me.
2. I'm a lint picker-upper. I see lint on the ground, bend down, pinch it, pick it up and throw it away. I do it all day long - everywhere - in my house, in my car, on the couches ... everywhere. I don't care about anyone elses lint in their house and cars - just my own.
3. I never wanted kids (really) up until I was 29 years old and then I did. Now I have four.
4. I think I'm a good friend. I pursue a person I want to be friends with until they decide to like me and if they do ... I want them as my friend forever! I say, "I fall in love with my friends."
5. I could eat some sort of potatoes every single day of my life. In a previous life I must have lived in Idaho.
6. I went through a phase a couple of years ago, where I made furniture (a lot). I designed it, built it, painted it (it was all painted furniture) and sold it. I started this "hobby" because I made a lot of pieces for my own home. I don't do it much anymore, but I still have some of it in my house.
7. I was born in West Virginia (the most beautiful place on earth) in a little town not far from Alderson - the town where Martha Stewart went to prison.
8. My father was a Veternarian and I always wanted be one as well. I never did that.
9. I can't spell worth a crap.
10. My favorite actor is Kevin Bacon!!
11. I watch soap operas (All My Children, Days of Our Lives, One Life To Live and General Hospital) and have since I was 14 or 15 years old.
12. I have lots of jewelry and shoes.
13. My favorite phrase to use on my kids is "Welcome to my world."
14. The best thing that ever happened to me was that my husband picked me out of hundreds of girls, in a crowded, smoke filled dance hall ... 25 years ago. He says that when he saw me that he turned to his buddy standing with him at the bar and said, "That's the girl I'm gonna be with tonight." And we have been together every single day since.
Okay - there are 14 things! I could probably come up with 49, in order to fill all the tags, but I'm not going to. That's all there is to tell for now - NO MORE TAGS. And I am going to leave these tags open for anyone that would like to play along (I know I'm supposed to tag 7 people, but I JUST CAN'T ). So ... if you want this tag - run with it! Thank you to all those that tagged me.
7 Unique Things Meme. Rules: Link to your tagger and post rules. 2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random and some weird. 3. Tag 7 people at the end of post and list their names. 4. Let them know they were tagged by a comment on their blog.
I had a busy day here at the BlogHer conference. In and out of very interesting and informative sessions, meeting lots of people, picking up free SWAG - FUN!
I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting so many other bloggers. Being so close to so many women (and men) that have so much in common - is just too much fun! I have been so lucky to meet so many fabulous people. I can't begin to list all the people I have met, as I have made A LOT of effort to "work the rooms". I told my sister today on the phone that she would not have recognized me at this conference - stepping so far out of my comfort zone - making myself get up from my seat and mingle with one group of bloggers after another. I have been very proud of myself for all the introductions I have made and feel honored to have met so many wonderful people. I SO JUST WANT to sit and let people come to me - you know - that is my nature --- but, it doesn't work like that here. There are so many people that you have to go out and meet people or you might never interact and I didn't come all the way out here to go home and not feel like I have met a ton of people.
At the cocktail party tonight - held down the street from our hotel at a nice club - I met Janet (Three & Holding), Sarah (Slouching Over 40), Jen (One Plus Two), Shannon (Rocks In My Dryer), Megan (AllMediocre.com), Amy (Amy In Ohio) - amongst bunches of other wonderful bloggers. I also had the opportunity to meet two of the writers from the TNT TV series Saving Grace and one of the actresses from The Closer as well (I can't remember their names right now - but it was very cool and they were very nice!), and also many of the TNT execs that were with them. I also met one of the Editors of Redbook Magazine and a writer for the New York Times.
It was so much fun and the food was great at the party.
Here are a few pictures from today:
I FINALLY met OHMommy (Classy Chaos). Here she is with JCK (Motherscribe). They are both fabulous women and I have loved both their blogs since I first began blogging almost 1 year ago. If you've never visited their blogs, you really should go and visit as they are two of the best writers on the web!
OHMommy (Classy Chaos) and Me - Isn't she darling! She's just as nice in person as I ever imagined she would be!
Kelly (Don Mills Diva), OHMommy (Classy Chaos) and me - I think we look very happy to be at this conference and I know I have been so happy to meet both of these women!
JCK (Motherscribe) and Slouching Mom (in the purple - can't see her in this picture) mingling at the cocktail party.
If you have ever visiting JCK's site - you know she loves her fishnet stockings! If you haven't read her stories about her fishnets, you need to go over sometime and read them - they are very funny. She looked fabulous tonight in her cocktail dress and fishnets - SMASHING!!
JCK and I at one of the sessions earlier in the day. Yes ... I have a sun dress on, as I am FROM TEXAS, but I wore a sweater all day long, as it is cold here! I took off the sweater in many of the conference rooms, as it got HOT. That sundress came in handy, except, of course, if I had to actually venture outside. It's beautiful weather here - but ... just a little chilly.
Had to show this picture of JCK because she looks so pretty and so happy. I think she is having a great time and I am too!
This is just some of the SWAG that I have received:
Look at all this stuff. Some of it I will keep and take home and some I will put in the "recycle room" they have set up. I can't believe all this stuff - the books and goodies! And ... I haven't even gotten all the things they have been giving away. I don't know how I am going to get all this stuff home - I may have to ship it.
This is a picture of the little SWAG gift bags I brought to give away. It's an On The Upside pen, tiny blue bag with KISSES candy inside and my blog business card attached. I made about 300 to give away and have about 50 left - so that tells you how busy I have been mingling and passing out cards! Alexis has to be given TREMENDOUS credit, as she helped her mommy make all these cute little gift bags and she was a fabulous helper! She would eat a candy and then stuff 2 in each bag - she would eat a candy and then stuff 2 in each bag - so CUTE! She also helped punch holes in the business cards and tie the ribbons. I have told everyone I give the gift bag about how Alexis helped me make them and they love that story! She's my sweet girl!
Since I have been here - my family has called many times to check in.
My sister wants to know how everything is going and wants me to make sure I visit San Francisco some if I can - I am going to try tomorrow and Sunday morning.
My Mom has called to check in also and to offer continuous support and advise - THANKS MOM!
Billy, my husband, calls to make sure I'm enjoying myself and update me on the kids.
Chloe called me to ask me where something was. YES --- I'm in SAN FRANCISCO and the child called me to FIND SOMETHING FOR HER! I was happy to oblige - cuz ... it is my JOB TO FIND ALL LOST THINGS - after all!
Little Billy called to say, "Hi Mom." I miss that boy!
Courtney hasn't called, but I'm sure she meant to.
Alexis called and left a message on my voice mail, "Mom, will you call me when you can - when you get this message," in a very tiny little voice - so sweet. She went on to say, "It's me - Alexis." I called her - my precious girl. I miss her!
Oh, Yes --- these are the red shoes I wore to the first cocktail party - just had to show you. They hurt like hell - but they are DARLING shoes - HA!
Hopefully I will have more pictures tomorrow.
Hope you all have a great weekend!
Thanks for checking in with me and being so supportive about my visit here to San Francisco and my attending this conference. I TRULY wish that you all were here so that I could meet all the bloggers I love so much!!
When I wrote yesterday's post, it was right after I had had my interview on WOAI (San Antonio Living) and right after I'd seen Dooce on Good Morning America and Nightline.
I have to say - I was a bit aggravated after seeing Dooce on Good Morning America. I just wanted to wring Kathy Lee Gifford's neck for being so stupid and uninformed. I don't think I am alone in my perception of this interview - that it did little to help people further understand blogging or to shine a good light on why we blog. I thought that Dooce held her own, but I was also a bit aggravated that she did not jump out there and put Kathy Lee Gifford in her place. I would have loved to have heard Dooce a bit more aggressive about her position (while I understand why she did not).
I did, however, love the Nightline interview - it was FABULOUS!
So many people left some really great comments on my post yesterday, I thought I would highlight some quotes from each of those comments. Who better to describe the positive aspects of blogging than a bunch of seasoned bloggers!
Mamarazzi said: "Blogging has made my life brighter and better ... just from the people who touch my life and allow me to touch theirs." She also said, "and FINALLY I did not feel so alone anymore."
Joanna said: "Reading what other's go through - their ups and downs, helped pull me out of depression. I don't click too well with other people, but in bloggy world I find my peeps."
Karen said, "We share about everything, support and encourage each other and laugh and cry together. Those that don't understand just don't know what they're missing."
Angela said: "I do love blogging. It isn't easy finding friends in this world of ours. Plus, I love talking about my son."
rthling said: "One of the greatest things about blogging is meeting people I would not have otherwise met. Blogging helps us find common ground and reminds us we are not crazy for loving our kids so fiercely. And to top it off, we have an outlet for pent-up creativity."
Denise Wheeler said: "I love bragging about my kiddos." She also said, "I have made some incredible friends in my blog world."
Dani said: "When I started blogging, I had NO idea the joy that I would derive from it." She also said, "I was really just writing for the fun of it and so the my words would be somewhere for my daughter and maybe someday for my grandchild/children to read."
Bichonpawz said: "I love the new relationships and friendships I have formed through blogging."
Yvette said: "I think it helps me to have a stronger focus on my family and the things we do in our daily lives, because I'm always looking for the story. I have also met some amazing blogging friends." She went on to say, "We are an amazing group of women!"
Kelli said: "I just might consider printing this post and handing it out to those c"clueless people".
Are You Serious said: "I'm fine with being a mommy blogger."
Elaine A. said: "I started blogging just to keep family and friends up to date on the comings and goings of our family and now it has become SO much more for me. I had no idea what a wonderful community it is and now I do."
Leeann said: "I vent, I cry, I whine, I cheer, I smile, I laugh, I brag ... all through words and pictures. I am leaving a legacy for my children. The day to day things that would get pushed out of my memory ... I have forever written down. To me - that is priceless."
Mighty Morphin Mama said: "I have to say that the family of women that I have found here, the women supporting and uplifting one another has been the biggest and most wonderful surprise about blogging for me."
Karen Meg said: "It helped keep my mind from going to mush, and a big, big bonus was "meeting" wonderful women like you, on the web." She also said, "But their (our children) stories are also our stories, and I'd like to one day be able to show these kids that my blog is a love story about them, and to them. And my husband too, whether he really likes it or not. But mostly to myself, because right now in my life, it is something that I enjoy. And moms, women, are allowed that in their life too."
Kim-d said: "My life has been enriched by blogging in ways too numerous to mention." She also said, "I cherish my blogging friends, and I feel that back from them. That's why I do it. It makes me a better, happier person."
Dawn said: "I do think that Mommy Bloggers are a community with a great deal of power ... precisely because we support each other."
Suz said: "This for me is just an outlet to remember all the little things in my life that I will forget one day unless I write them down."
Tabitha said: "I never dreamed when I started blogging that I would love it so much!! I have made so many great blogging friends, and am more than happy to be a mommy blogger!!"
Julie said: "I am so happy that I have so much of the kids' lives documented, which is the main reason for blogging."
Jenn @ Juggling Life (http://jugglinglife.typepad.com/) said: "I believe someday our kids will be so happy to have these anecdote's available to share with their children."
Kari & Kijsa said: "We are moms, and bloggers too! Yea for both."
Amanda said: "No matter where you are in the world, it's nice to read that other people (mums) are going through the same things as me. Mommy bloggers rule!"
Bonnie said: "I can tell you this, I am glad to be a part of it. It is validating, rewarding, satisfying and I LOVE it. I really feel it has helped me to be a better person. I have been pretty sick this past week. Knowing I am going to write about it on my blog later helps me to be more positive about the whole experience. The support from other people is so bouying and sustaining."
Kaci said: "I tried it a while back, but then deleted my account. But, after reading Leah's blog, I said I'll give it another shot. I love it ... and hope to never stop."
Jen said: "Look out world because here come the mommy bloggers!" She also said, "I feel honored to have met such a great group of women."
Sharon said: "I have found friends that I love dearly and may never meet until we step into the other side of eternity." She also wrote, "I am proud to be called a mommy blogger."
Carl & Kathy said: "It's a way to keep in touch." She went on to say, "I've met fellow bloggers like you and I've been enriched. And I've enjoyed the creative outlet and the comments that people make. It's an all around positive experience."
Rima said: "I agree with all your points."
Melanie said: Blogging has been amazing for me. I was so lonely, staying home all day every day by myself before I started to blog. I've made some great friends, people I really consider to be my friends and I am a proud mommy blogger!
Rosemary Bogdan said: I was in a bookstore when I passed a book called, "Blogging for Dummies." I picked it up thinking, what is blogging anyway. I bought the book and read the whole thing. My older children were very amused. Are you going to start a blog, Mom? I said, maybe. I thought this would be good for me. I could learn more about computers and also practice my writing. After I finished the book I told my oldest I still had no idea what they were talking about and that I was going to read it again and see if I could glean more. He said, "Mom, don't do that. Just start your blog. You'll learn as you go along." And I did. (Although I still have a LOT to learn.)I love being a mommy blogger although I do also write on topics sometimes...Love your blog.
Nicki said: I think its awesome that blogging allows parents to tell their stories, brag about their ideas, vent their frustrations, and exchange information with others. It definitely makes the world a smaller, and more friendly, place!
So ... there you go. There are some of the reasons people (mommies) - blog.
I think Karen Meg said it best when she described one of the reasons why mommy bloggers blog. She said, "I'd like to one day be able to show these kids that my blog is a love story about them, and to them."
I am content just driving along, listening to George Strait on the radio. I hear the guitars and fiddles. My mind is soothed by the sound of his familiar mellow voice. He sings to me of love and ladies and bar rooms and ... in my mind --- I am THERE. You know.
Alexis interrupts the music, "Do you love anybody?" She screams up to the front of the van. She's picked up on the love being described in George's song.
Why, yes! I'm lovin' me some George Strait -- right at this moment ... I think.
I say, "Of, course ... I love lots of people. I love you. I love the girls and Little Billy. I love Daddy. I love all of our family and friends. I love lots of people."
"Oh, yeah," she concurs.
I do - I think to myself.
*mind begins to drift*
I love lots of people.
But ...
I do not like every-body.
I try.
I try to like every-body.
But ... I don't!
I don't like some people - A LOT!
Some people ... I keep trying to like - even though I still don't like them - as hard as I try to like them - I feel like I am never going to like them - but ... I keep trying.
Like ...
That one mother.
That one stupid mother ... at the school.
That one I've known for several years - run into her at most every school event - have made every effort to flash her friendly smiles, engage in cordial conversations, extended welcoming advances -- but ... she is someone I DO NOT LIKE! I have - for too many years - tried to like that woman - given her every benefit of the doubt - gone far and beyond what would be considered necessary to be friendly and cordial to such a b**ch. I have finally concluded that - for CERTAIN - I DO NOT like that woman. I'm never going to. There's something not right with her and ... I've tried for long enough.
Then ...
There are those miscellaneous people I don't like. These are those people that it really doesn't matter whether I like them or not - but ... I still want to. I still try to. I spend far too much time trying to find reasons to like them, but always end right back NOT liking them and ... in the end - it makes no difference.
Like ...
The guy who does my nails.
It's not important that I like him or him me - for that matter.
He does my nails - I pay him - that is the extent of our relationship.
But ... I see him every 2 weeks or so and ... I figured it was possible to like him. Possible to find likable things about him. Possibly better if I did like him, as it might make the experience, every 2 weeks, more enjoyable - more satisfying - more fun - somehow.
I DO NOT LIKE HIM!
I am never going to like him.
I have tried and tried and ... I DON'T.
I like his sister. I like his wife. I like everyone that works in the salon - except ... HIM.
I continue to try to act like I like him. Not let on that I DO NOT. Try to smile and act friendly, as I still need him to continue to do my nails - I just DO NOT LIKE HIM.
Then ...
There are those people that I DO NOT LIKE because ... they don't like me. I know who they are. I can sense that I rub them funny or whatever and that they just do not like me. Those people - of course - I DO NOT LIKE.
Then ...
There are those people that are strangers that I meet that rub me funny from the get-go. I know I don't like them because of something that strikes me odd.
Like ...
There are those people that don't use the right emphasis on their syllables - when they talk. Their sentences - words - don't sound right and when they speak, you could easily interpret what they are saying as sarcasm or cynicism or meanness. These are those people that don't necessarily do this intentionally - they just speak wrong - sometimes monotone - and, you can't determine - for a very long time - if they do this strange speaking intentionally or not.
I just immediately decide that I DO NOT LIKE those people. I don't have the time to determine if you are speaking this way intentionally, didn't learn how to properly place your emphasis on your syllables or ... are just du-pid. Either way - I DON'T LIKE these people pretty much immediately because I have learned that I take these people way too seriously and everything they say either makes me mad and hurts my feelings or I catch myself trying - to fix them.
NOPE - I do not like every-body.
I like lots of people and I love lots of people, but ... I definitely do not like every-body.
*looks into rear view mirror and sees Alexis asleep*
On the upside ... Okay ... now where was I? Oh, that's right ... George and ... guitars and fiddles. Sing to me George ... sing to me -- a love song.
She is limping and whimpering and there is a scowl on her face.
She pulls up her pant leg and turns her ankle sideways to show me the skin that is scraped off the back of her heel.
"Oh, that looks like it hurts - how'd you do that?" I ask.
She explains that she scraped her foot while playing chase with her brother and continues to look up at me with tears in her eyes. She pulls on her pant leg to keep the injured foot exposed.
"Do you need a Band-Aid?" I ask.
"No," she whines.
"Do you want me to wrap it?" I ask.
"No," she whines.
"Do you want me to kiss it?" I offer.
She grins and then ... steps towards me and raises her foot up in the air.
I kiss the open wound.
I send her off to take a bath and she goes.
She begs for bubbles in her bath and so I go to her and pour the rose scented lotion into the water.
She requests a glass of ice water.
She summons me when it is time to wash and rinse her hair.
She yells for me to go to her bedroom to bring her her pajamas.
Soon, she comes from the bathroom with a fluffy, green towel wrapped around her wet body. Before she leaves my room, she tosses her dirty clothes on the floor inside my bathroom.
She wanders off and I don't see her for a while.
At bedtime, I call her to come upstairs to brush her teeth and after much complaining she comes.
I hear the water running in the bathroom.
I hear splashing and spitting.
I hear humming.
When she is finished she comes to my room and stands beside me at my desk.
She throws her arms around me and lays her head on my shoulder.
"Did you brush your teeth?" I ask, and lay my head against hers.
"Yes," she talks softly.
"Did you just wipe your wet hands all over my shirt?" I give her a knowing look.
I have done many things I have to do - and like to do ... like, giving baths, teaching songs and introducing my children to nature and the great outdoors.
Then ... I have done many things I did not really like doing - you know - like, making meals (not a good cook), cleaning up puke and poop and helping with homework.
One of the things I often do that I don't particularly enjoy doing is ...
Taking the kids to the movies - children's movies - UGH!
I KNOW - there are some folks - like my husband - that thoroughly enjoy going to these movies - I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE - NOPE!
But ... I do it - JUST NOT CRAZY ABOUT THIS DUTY!
Recently, I took Alexis and Little Billy to see Kung Fu Panda.
Alexis begged me everyday since school's been out, "Please, please, please .... please take us to the movies," in that whiny voice that only 6 year old girls have perfected - *screech*
I had put her off as long as I could get away with and so I finally gave in and took them on a Wednesday evening.
We went late - to the 9:10 p.m. showing.
Alexis and Little Billy were so excited to see the movie and even more excited - I think - to be going to this "late showing".
Me --- I am dragging my I-hate-going-to-kid's-movies-unhappy butt out of the van and trying my darnedest to maintain a smile and good disposition - for the sake of these giddy children.
Halfway across the parking, I realized, "I forgot my sweater - CRAP," I blurted out.
Alexis --- so worried this meant something dire - something horrible - so afraid this might mean that we would possibly have to turn around and go back home ----- pipes up, puts a great big smile on her face, speaks in her softest, sweetest voice, "I will just sit on you. I can sit on you to make you warm," so hoping that this suggestion will solve this problem.
Now ... this was very sweet of my darling daughter and I did agree that her sitting on me might very well keep me warm, she, however, is not - is not - a tiny girl. While I sometimes - often even - call her, "My Tiny Girl" - she is not - a tiny girl.
She sat on me.
We ate popcorn.
We drank sodas.
We watched the panda movie - me and my two youngest children.
The lights came up, we threw away our trash and strolled out of the theatre.
Me -----
with my purse slung over my shoulder ...
two kids in tow ...
and ...
SINGING ----
LOUDLY -----
EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING ... THOSE CATS WERE FAST AS LIGHTNING ... IN FACT IT WAS A LITTLE BIT FRIGHTENING ... BUT THEY FOUGHT WITH EXPERT TIMING ...
THERE WERE FUNKY CHINA MEN ... FROM FUNKY CHINA TOWN ... THEY WERE CHOPPING THEM UP ... THEY WERE CHOPPING THEM DOWN ...
Alexis and Little Billy looking up at me in utter amazement.
With a bit of embarrassment.
In complete awe of my singing abilities.
Little Billy puts his hand on my arm and says, "How do you know it? How do you know that song?"
Well ........... you know I had to set the boy straight ...
Had to make sure he was completely aware ...
I could not let it go ...
I said ...
"Grasshopper ..."
"THIS IS NOT YOUR SONG!"
"THIS IS OUR SONG!" I bellowed.
"THIS SONG WAS BIG - HUGE - WHEN I WAS A KID!" I went on - gazing into Little Grasshopper's eyes.
"OF COURSE I KNOW THIS SONG!"
(*cue mom singing again*)
EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING ... THOSE CATS WERE .... FAST AS LIGHTNING ...
I threw in a few Kung Fu karate chopping moves ... to prove my point.
Little Billy was not impressed.
Alexis found me quite funny.
On the upside ... Okay --- So, see! I'm not a total scrooge! Maybe - maybe ---- I do like the occasional kid movie ...
Join me back in 1974 with Carl Douglas ... Feel free to sing along ...
I read a post on someones site recently where the blogger said something like, "Blogging isn't real - it doesn't mean anything." Or something close to that.
I couldn't have disagreed more!
I think to some of us - it means a whole lot. I know it does to me.
I have been blogging for a nearly a year and a half and it has been a tremendous blessing in my life. A place for me to write - which I love to do. A place to document my children's lives. A place where I have found a community of friends. It has been tremendously positive.
But ...
There are certainly things about blogging that I often find frustrating. I know I am not alone, as there are millions of bloggers and we all encounter many of the same issues from day to day.
I'd love to hear some of the things you find frustrating or that make you angry about blogging.
Do you take it too seriously - like I sometimes do?
Do you take things too personally?
Do you get your feelings hurt?
Do you feel rejected and sometimes snubbed?
Do you feel guilty?
Do you feel competitive with other bloggers?
Do certain bloggers bug you?
Do you feel like blogging is honest?
I have one of those Follow Me thingys in my sidebar. Recently I noticed when someone stopped following me. I have had people stop following me before and just ignored it and not worried about it. But, this time, I happened to look through my followers to see if I could figure out who it was - I was just curious. I don't keep track of who is there and who isn't, so really - I might be wrong about who I think it was, but I believe I figured it out. Truthfully, I was angry and very tempted to go right to that person's site and stop following them. I really wanted to. But ... I didn't. I decided not to hold it against that person - it just didn't matter.
This is the sort of stuff I HATE about blogging! I hate not knowing why. I hate that I take it so personally. I hate that I truly believe that that person stopped following me out of meanness. I HATE all that stuff!!
I also get a little miffed by those people that have the Follow Me thingy on their site - but don't follow anyone else. What's up with that? It's like on Twitter where they pick and choose who is follow-worthy. I still follow some of those people, but honestly it bugs me! Surely I'm just as follow-worthy as they are?!
I've even considered getting rid of that Follow Me thingy on my site - I think it is just another way for bloggers to feel bad about themselves!
What are some of the not-so-positive things you have experienced in blogging? And, if you have been lucky enough to never have experienced anything negative - please let me know the positive things you love about it.
When I had my twins (16 years ago), I had a girl friend that I worked with that had a set of girl twins about 6 months before I had mine.
She was so good to go to for some early advise.
One of the things she said to me, as her twins began to grow a little older, was, "When my girls call me, I say, Yes, instead of What - because that is what I want them to say to me when I call them."
This was such a great piece of advise.
I tried it.
It never worked for me.
When my kids yell for me, I usually scream, "Wwwwhhhhaaaatttt?" because they never hear me the first time I say it and by the time they finally hear me - because they will not come near me to ask any question - they have to yell it from the neighbor's house - I am so frustrated at the yelling, I scream, "Wwwwhhhhhaaaatttt?"
I do.
Well ... the other night, Alexis yells from her bedroom something that I can not hear, so I say, "What?" in a normal tone.
She says the thing again.
I still can't hear her, so I say, "What?" in a little louder tone.
Then I hear her and what she is asking me is ... "I can't remember this word," and she spells it, "W-H-A-T ... what is this word?"
Then I say, "W.H.A.T," in a little louder tone.
She says, "What is this word - W-H-A-T?"she spells it again and she is now aggravated at me.
I say, "W.H.A.T."
And then she screams it again and I scream back ... "It's W.H.A.T. The word is WHAT."
She says, "Oh ... you don't have to yell. All you needed to do was say that in the first place."
On the upside ... *Sigh like the biggest failure ever*.
I know - I've been writing here On The Upside and over there On The Flipside and even more on mySA ... but, it's not the writing I speak of?
I do love all of this writing.
It is fun!
It does take a lot of thought and words and sentences and paragraphs and grammar and punctuation marks!
I have invested so much time and effort into blogging - I love to write and it has given me a place to stretch my creativity and explore lots of different ways to write about motherhood - about my kids - about my family.
But ...
It is not the sort of writing I did before I started blogging. It is non-fiction and it is non-fiction story-telling. I have loved it and would never give it up, but ...
I am writing again!
Fiction.
Another novel.
Yes - I have written several novels. None of which are good enough to publish, but I have been inspired and so ...
I am writing again!
If I had invested all the time and energy and words I have invested in writing and publishing all of my blog posts - I suppose I could have written at least 2 novels by now. Not that I would trade that time and energy spent blogging - in creating and taking care of my blogs - I wouldn't. But ... I think I have it in me - a novel. A really good novel. So ...
I am writing again!
I know ... this is awfully presumptuous of me - me thinking I could ever possibly write a novel. Well ... I've written several (3 to be exact) novels - so I know I can do it. Now ... all I have to do is write one worth publishing. That's my goal. Right here, in the middle of my life, when I have more on my plate than any human being could possibly manage realistically and successfully ...
I am writing AGAIN!
So, you might ask, where did all this sudden burst of energy come from? Why now? What has triggered this sudden urge to write again? Well ...
I read a blog post on one of my favorite blogs recently that inspired me in such a way that after I read it I went straight to my desk, sat down, started organizing my thoughts over several days and, well ... I am into Chapter 2 and ...
I am WRITING AGAIN!
I have not written anything (aside from blog posts) in over a year. I haven't had the time, really, nor the desire. I guess it is because blogging has given me so much satisfaction and the writing has been so fun and productive that I haven't had time to think about fiction or consider taking the time to write anything.
My family will continue to come first ...
I will do my best to keep up with all of my responsibilities ...
I will continue to write and keep up with my blogs (and ENJOY it) ...
I am completely certain that I am going to be hard to live with ... because ...
I AM WRITING AGAIN!!!
From the blog post that so inspired me, "There will be a last time. Nothing lasts. Each and every time is propped against the last time. The present is made of all gone things."
Black Hockey Jesus (the writer of the wonderful post: Last) inspired me with not only his writing, but his words. He writes brilliantly (go on - go over to his blog, The Wind In Your Vagina, and read some of his great stories) and so often, when I read a great post that someone has written (and I've read hundreds that are truly great!) - like this one he wrote - I am inspired. And this post - this writer - just happened to trigger that thing in me that said - You need to write - get on with it - before it is too late.
I have had many people comment or e-mail me - over the past 4 months - asking me this very question. Why? How did I do it? Why me?
On one hand, I am a little insulted by this question, as I have dedicate a huge amount of time and creativity into my writing and I would like to think that a percentage of visitors come to my site to read what I have written - hear what I have to say. I'd like to think that they think I am smart and funny and offer entertaining stories and useful information. I like to think that I have earned their respect and therefore they look forward to reading about my children and family and that they feel invested in not only my life, but in my success as a blogger - as well.
I know some of the reasons why I have the following that I have.
I have worked my butt off for 4 months! I have visited thousands of sites. I have left thousands of comments. I have written hundreds of stories and tried very, very hard to make those stories fun and interesting and creative and well written. I have analyzed ways to improve my traffic and even implemented some of those tools. I have tried my very best to fit into this world of Mommy Bloggers and I have done that. I have done everything possible to make friends and make those friends realize how much I need them and how much they mean to me. I have made many, many good friends.
One of the reasons I have so many visitors to my site is because I went out and brought them to me. Many of the friends I have - are ones that I went out and found and the reasons they keep coming back - I believe - is because I continue to support each and every one of those friends. I would be very surprised if any one of my bloggy friends were able to say that this is not true. And, yes, I have some visitors that came across my blog on their own and are now also my friends, but they too would have to say that I am equally as loyal to them by constantly staying in touch and visiting their sites as well.
Everyone of you that has a blog knows just how difficult it is to keep up with a blog. Keep up with posting and visiting other sites. It is nearly impossible to do it every single day. But ... I have tried to do it. I have committed, every single day, to visiting other sites and reading and leaving comments. I visit every single site that leaves me a comment (some days as many as 80 sites). In addition, I visit other sites along the way. In any given day, I can visit 100's of sites. Why do I do this? I do it - to show my loyalty and to encourage loyalty to me. And ... it has been very rewarding.
I think that I have a good site. I think I have a unique format and I have worked very hard to create a positive forum. It is who I am and it works for me because I have tried very hard to build my site on the foundation of strong beliefs. I do not often complain in the normal "ranting" fashion - while I do have many complaints (just like everyone) in my life - just because that is how I have chosen to write on my site. I do complain - but I try to put a funny spin on the story and I do that for several reasons. One, because it often makes for a better story and two, because if I give myself permission to rant - I am afraid I will run crazy ranting all of the time!
I am not perfect - nor do I have perfect kids or do we live a hysterically funny life at my house. I am generally a serious person and yet I have always considered myself to be creative and through my writing I am able to stretch my creative tendencies by writing stories that are funny or touching or stimulating or whatever! I work constantly on my writing techniques to develop new and interesting ways to tell a story. Having this blog has enabled me to see my life (through my writing of these stories) in a different way and see my children and the raising of them - through an entirely new view. I work daily to find a story to write and sometimes I come up with a good story and sometimes I don't. But, I have dedicated a lot of time and energy into finding and documenting these stories for my pleasure and for the pleasure of those that visit my site.
I sometimes feel as though the success I have experienced on my site - creates bad feelings (I won't go into why I say this - but there have been incidents that have occurred). I have never, not even once, used the success of my site to hurt any other blogger. I have tried to do just the opposite by offering many bloggers advise on how I have accomplished my success and been very open to helping anyone that asks. I have always been loyal to every single one of my bloggy friends and invested many hours into getting to know each one individually as best I can. I have always felt embarrassed to post awards I have been given, but feel obliged to recognize those that give me the awards and happy to introduce those individuals to my readers. Awards given from one blogger to another are indeed nice, but they are also a means for bloggers to create traffic to their own sites and I don't have a problem promoting other people's sites and am happy to do that.
I, like everyone, love to receive comments on my posts. I love the feedback and enjoy seeing the ideas or thoughts that something I have written can provoke. I love feeling like I touch people through my stories and my writing. I love telling a good story and love being able to share my children and our lives with all of you. I do not like feeling, though, that any success I have had is in anyway making someone else feel inadequate or unsuccessful. I know very well that there are many bloggers out there that are telling just as many great stories and writing them as well or better than me - that do not have the following I have. I visit many of those bloggers and read those stories. I support those bloggers. I have always searched out bloggers that were hurting for readers, because I know very well how hard it is to create a following and I have made tremendous efforts to find and help those people. I have done this intentionally, as I feel that everyone should be offered the same respect and opportunities as I have enjoyed and I do not hesitate to offer my site and its success as leverage for new or struggling bloggers.
I seldom write my posts "directly" to my audience. I write my stories as if they are "articles" and format my posts in the form of dialog or narritive - I do this on purpose. I am not the sort of blogger that offers a run-down of my daily events or intricate daily details about my children or myslef. I offer some of this information through my stories - but I do not "talk" right to my audience - like I am right now. I have done that on purpose - it is the format or technique I have chosen for my blog. I seldom ever respond to a comment in my comments. I have, on my site, tried to keep a distance between myself and my stories - I do this on purpose. I have attempted to create a site that stands on its own - the stories stand on their own - without my daily moods or personal traits influencing the stories. While I am obviously the one writing the stories and my picture is right there on the front page - I write my posts as a story that offers just a "glimpse" into our lives and who we are - who I am. I do this intentionally and believe that this is part of the reason that people may feel like they really don't know me.
My goal in blogging is to continue to write my stories. To continue to create even more of a following and I won't apologize for that. I want to continue to make friends and support as many people as I can possibly support. I want to only feel that my contribution is positive.
I know there are those people that - no matter what I say or what any of us do - will look for reasons to use my success against me. I can only say that I enjoy the success because I have worked very hard for it. I will continue to work hard for it - as long as I feel it is positive for me.
I began this post - because I was frustrated. I do not want to feel frustrated at anytime - having this blog - that has been such a gift in my life. I felt it was necessary to answer these questions and to also describe some of the feelings I have been experiencing.
I hope I have cleared up any illusions or assumptions that were in question. I hope I have explained adequately that I feel fortunate and also believe that the loyalty I have created stems from the loyalty I offer. I hope I have proven - over the past several months - that I want to be a friendly blogger and will do whatever I can to help other bloggers.
I hope I have your continued support and want to impress that you certainly have mine.
Now ... I am going to go back behind my curtain to continue to write. You know where to find me.
I walked into the school wearing my jeans, t-shirt and tennis shoes. I signed in at the office, stuck on a yellow Volunteer sticker on my chest and made my way to my daughter's classroom. I peeked in the door and found that the class was empty, just as I had expected. I grabbed the pile of red Friday folders, positioned a teeny-tiny chair next to the slot-thingy that holds the work papers for all the kids in the class and began my Friday duty - filling the Friday folders - as I have done for, oh ... every single Friday for two months. I am ... The Friday Folder Girl.
As I am sitting, filing memos sent from the office, scored spelling tests, scored math work and beautiful first grade art work, diligently, into each of the children's folders ... the door swings open right next to where I am sitting. Keep in mind, I am on a very tiny chair and sitting practically on the ground when I look up. I see a woman I do not recognize, and she is surprised to see me. I do not say a word.
She says, "I'm here ... are you ... why are you doing the Friday folders?"
I am confused. I am sad for her that she is obviously confused. I say, "What?"
She steps into the classroom. I am now convinced that she too, is a mother, and she says, "I am here to do the Friday folders."
I am just watching her, trying hard not to laugh, because she has obviously not heard that ... I am The Friday Folder Girl. And ... I am confused as to why she is here. Have I been replaced? I can't be replaced. I'd been doing the job for 8 weeks, talked many times with the teacher and never once been informed that I had been replaced. It just doesn't work like that. Once you sign up to volunteer for something - it's your job. You can't REALLY be replaced. I was confused. I said, "What?"
She, the other mom, was now pacing and out of breath, as she had obviously RUN to get to the classroom and finding me there ... well, caught her off guard. She said, again, "I thought I was going to do the folders," this time in a more agitated tone.
I wasn't saying much. I was still sitting in the squatty chair, still working as she was pacing and talking and all I could do was watch her odd behavior and think to myself - "But ... I'M THE FRIDAY FOLDER GIRL! I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR 8 WEEKS. I'M STILL DOING IT - SEE ... I'M SITTING HERE DOING IT - LIKE I'VE BEEN DOING FOR 8 WEEKS." I was just at a loss for words. I wanted to say these things, but her behavior was so peculiar, sort of fidgety and nervous - as if she was angry that I was there. I eventually stood up ... so as to be taller, and said, "I do the Friday folders," in a tone that said, Back off, you are acting peculiar.
She then stepped further into the classroom and said, "Well, maybe I could help you."
I DON'T need help. I've been doing Friday folders as long as I can remember for one teacher or another and the last thing I want, is to encourage this woman any further to believe that she is somehow going to "replace" me or "help" me now, or anytime. But I say, "Okay."
She helped me that day and then I e-mailed the teacher inquiring what was going on. The teacher informed me that she was very happy with me doing the Friday folders, that I was always so punctual and accurate in my work (it's not that hard), but there were a few mothers that asked to volunteer and so she suggested that maybe they could split the Friday folder duty with me. Okay, so I agree to call the other mother and set up a schedule (every other week set-up...). I don't like the new schedule, as I'd rather just know that I am expected to go in every week, than have to remember which week is mine, is this week okay for you, blah, blah, blah. But, I do it. The following week when I show up for my Friday, the teacher informs me that no one did her folders the previous Friday, because ... the other mother never showed up. No kidding?
I told the teacher that I would just keep on coming every Friday from then on out - because I am ... The Friday Folder Girl! And I did.
I don't know whatever happened to that other mother - why she never showed up again. She vanished back into the volunteer black hole as strangely as she had crawled out of it. I saw her a few times at class parties and such, but we didn't talk. I was okay with that .
On the upside ... I don't particularly like all the volunteering and stuff, but I do my share. I choose the jobs I want to do and that has to be enough to satisfy my kids, the schools and my guilt. When I'd thought I had been replaced by a younger, more limber mother ... I was prepared to fight, because ... I am THE FRIDAY FOLDER GIRL! It was a good thing it didn't come to that (*giggle*).
![Jil Sander Spring/Summer 2012/13 [Women’s Collection]](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-USlopZ_L7PA/Tn9bkHwa2hI/AAAAAAAAOjg/hsovZPrU1Is/s1600-rw/jilsanderss2012wp2cqc01.jpg)
