I've been a mom for 16 years.
During that time, I have learned a lot of things.
I have experienced a lot of things.
I have forgotten a lot of things.
I have done many things I have to do - and like to do ... like, giving baths, teaching songs and introducing my children to nature and the great outdoors.
Then ... I have done many things I did not really like doing - you know - like, making meals (not a good cook), cleaning up puke and poop and helping with homework.
One of the things I often do that I don't particularly enjoy doing is ...
Taking the kids to the movies - children's movies - UGH!
I KNOW - there are some folks - like my husband - that thoroughly enjoy going to these movies - I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE - NOPE!
But ... I do it - JUST NOT CRAZY ABOUT THIS DUTY!
Recently, I took Alexis and Little Billy to see Kung Fu Panda.
Alexis begged me everyday since school's been out, "Please, please, please .... please take us to the movies," in that whiny voice that only 6 year old girls have perfected - *screech*
I had put her off as long as I could get away with and so I finally gave in and took them on a Wednesday evening.
We went late - to the 9:10 p.m. showing.
Alexis and Little Billy were so excited to see the movie and even more excited - I think - to be going to this "late showing".
Me --- I am dragging my I-hate-going-to-kid's-movies-unhappy butt out of the van and trying my darnedest to maintain a smile and good disposition - for the sake of these giddy children.
Halfway across the parking, I realized, "I forgot my sweater - CRAP," I blurted out.
Alexis --- so worried this meant something dire - something horrible - so afraid this might mean that we would possibly have to turn around and go back home ----- pipes up, puts a great big smile on her face, speaks in her softest, sweetest voice, "I will just sit on you. I can sit on you to make you warm," so hoping that this suggestion will solve this problem.
Now ... this was very sweet of my darling daughter and I did agree that her sitting on me might very well keep me warm, she, however, is not - is not - a tiny girl. While I sometimes - often even - call her, "My Tiny Girl" - she is not - a tiny girl.
She sat on me.
We ate popcorn.
We drank sodas.
We watched the panda movie - me and my two youngest children.
The lights came up, we threw away our trash and strolled out of the theatre.
Me -----
with my purse slung over my shoulder ...
two kids in tow ...
and ...
SINGING ----
LOUDLY -----
EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING ...
THOSE CATS WERE FAST AS LIGHTNING ...
IN FACT IT WAS A LITTLE BIT FRIGHTENING ...
BUT THEY FOUGHT WITH EXPERT TIMING ...
THERE WERE FUNKY CHINA MEN ...
FROM FUNKY CHINA TOWN ...
THEY WERE CHOPPING THEM UP ...
THEY WERE CHOPPING THEM DOWN ...
Alexis and Little Billy looking up at me in utter amazement.
With a bit of embarrassment.
In complete awe of my singing abilities.
Little Billy puts his hand on my arm and says, "How do you know it? How do you know that song?"
Well ........... you know I had to set the boy straight ...
Had to make sure he was completely aware ...
I could not let it go ...
I said ...
"Grasshopper ..."
"THIS IS NOT YOUR SONG!"
"THIS IS OUR SONG!" I bellowed.
"THIS SONG WAS BIG - HUGE - WHEN I WAS A KID!" I went on - gazing into Little Grasshopper's eyes.
"OF COURSE I KNOW THIS SONG!"
(*cue mom singing again*)
EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING ...
THOSE CATS WERE .... FAST AS LIGHTNING ...
I threw in a few Kung Fu karate chopping moves ... to prove my point.
Little Billy was not impressed.
Alexis found me quite funny.
On the upside ... Okay --- So, see! I'm not a total scrooge! Maybe - maybe ---- I do like the occasional kid movie ...
Join me back in 1974 with Carl Douglas ... Feel free to sing along ...