"Mom - You're the most entertaining woman on the face of the earth," my son announced one afternoon after we pulled away from the Dairy Queen restaurant.
This statement said to me - after I had screamed, "GIVE ME THE RANCH DRESSING! GET IT! GO ON - GO GET IT AND GIVE. IT. TO. ME. NOW!" to the very rude DQ employee at the drive-thru window that made the minor mis-calculation of P.R.O.V.O.K.I.N.G me!
Me ... the one in the van that had been driving for an hour and doesn't particularly like this particular DQ myself, but went anyways, because my van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids begged me to.
Me ... the one with the van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids that had already been forced to wait 10 minutes before anyone even took our order at the order menu!
Me ... the one with the van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids that waited another 20 minutes before our order was ready and was given only 3 onion rings - not 8 or 10 - but 3 - in my order, and I just let it go.
Me ... the one with the van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids that was told that the nasty, slow DQ was now out of ketchup packages!
Me ... the one that agreed to take the packets of ranch dressing and honey mustard dressing in the place of ketchup and then was given just 1 pack of each - for a van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids with lots of french fries and chicken strips!
Me ... the one that asked - very nicely - for 3 more packages of ranch dressing and was told - by a very rude and nasty-uniform-wearin'-girl that stood inside that little window, with her hands on her hips - that I'd have to pay for the additional packages of ranch dressing!
Me ... the one that could not believe her ears!
So ... I, very calmly, took a deep breath, leaned as far out of my window as I could (if I could have climbing through her little window without totally humiliating myself and my kids - I would have), looked the DQ girl right in her face and screamed, as loudly as I could possibly scream ... "GIVE ME THE RANCH DRESSING! GET IT! GO ON - GO GET IT AND GIVE. IT. TO. ME. NOW!"
She shut her mouth.
She lowered her hands from her hips.
She handed me the 3 additional packages of ranch dressing.
I drove away.
On the upside ... In the back seat of my van were 5 shocked children - but they had their DQ food and their replacement con-di-ments! I had my 3 onion rings and a nasty DQ Hunger Buster - that I promptly threw into the trash. And, to my son, all I had to say was ... "I'm so happy to entertain you!"
(My husband - who was in his truck right behind me in the DQ line, called me on my phone and said, "What's up? What happened? What's going on? I could hear you - you know." I explained to him that I had it all under control - they were out of ketchup - I took care of it. I'm pretty sure he also finds me quite entertaining and ... was very glad he was not in the van with us).
(I did tell all the kids, in a very calm voice, "Don't ever yell at anyone like that - ever! You never know what they might do.")
(Note: No offense to anyone who loves DQ, works for DQ, owns a DQ - I am not against DQ - just this particular one).