Katie Couric's Farewell Interview With Sarah Palin
So, Sarah ... what will you do now that the campaign is over?
*slight Fargo accent*
I'll be headin' back to Alaska - get back to work.
What's the first thing you plan to do when you get home?
The first thingI 'm gonna do is ... get outta these clothes they made me wear - get back to wearin' my soccer-mom clothes and camo gear. Kick off these doggone high heeled shoes and slip on my comfy sheep-skin slippers. Then ... I'm gonna make a big pot of delicious moose-meat chili.
What will you do with all the clothes, Sarah? Did the campaign let you keep all the clothes?
Well ... I just kept 'em. I really didn't ask anyone - I just packed 'em in my moose-skin suitcase and I'm sneakin' 'em back to Alaska with me.
I didn't ask for all them clothes, but I earned 'em! I know I said they were gonna be donated to some charity after the campaign - but, I lied 'bout that. I'm gonna take 'em home and sell 'em in a garage sale - make me some money.
Is that right - a garage sale?
Yes, Katie - that's what us soccer moms do with all the stuff we don't want - we sell the stuff in garage sales.
And what will you do with the money?
Oh ... I'll probably buy some ammo and maybe a new pair of huntin' boots. It's moose-huntin' season, you know - up 'er in Alaska.
So ... do you have any other immediate plans?
Why, yes I do.
I plan to enter the Mrs. Alaska Hottest Soccer Mom Contest this comin' February. You know I love a good beauty contest.
You certainly are a beauty.
What will your talent be?
I could always play the flute. You know I'm a darn good flute player. But ... I think I'll probably do somethin' with plumbin'. You know that Joe The Plumber fella taught me a thing or two 'bout plumbin' - just might come in handy.
*blink blink*
I see you are wearing new glasses, Sarah. Is this is new fashion statement?
These here were a gift from Elizabeth Hasselbeck - you know, from The View. She was so sad when we lost the election that she sent us all gifts.
Did you receive any other parting gifts - besides the glasses and the clothes?
Why, yes I did.
This here soccer ball was given to me by Barack Obama. Isn't he the sweetest thing?
We wish you luck, Sarah.
We sure are going to miss you on Saturday Night Live.
Don't cry, Katie - I'll be back!
I'm goin' back home to Alaska - gonna learn some stuff, meet some people, travel some and ... get more 'sperience under my gun belt.
You might just see me in 2012 - runnin' for President of these here United States.
You haven't seen the last of this moose-shootin'-soccer-mom-Joe-The-Plumber-lovin'-smokin'-hot- Alaskan'! Nosiree!
And there you have it - the farewell interview with Sarah Palin. It will be fun to see what she does next - you know - beyond the garage sale and Mrs. Alaska Hottest Soccor Mom contest *hee hee*.
With fashion month just around the corner, I thought this interview I did with modeling industry icon Faith Kates would add some balanced insight into the world of modeling.
Faith Kates is a modeling industry legend. She started NEXT Model Management in 1989. Recently, we sat down to talk all things modeling. Needless to say, it was a great learning experience. Enclosed are few snippets from our conversation. And to Faith and the people at NEXT, thank you!
WHY THE SECOND SEASON IN A MODELS CAREER IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE FIRST
Faith: Realistically, there's so many girls that have gotten ruined because they come the first season, they're not ready to do those shows and they do them. And the second season they're like, 'but she couldn't walk last season.' You know our job as agents is to prepare these models to get them out there, so that they do their job perfectly. ...we want to get them out there and we want them to know how to walk. I always say if you can get them a couple of good shows so they have some confidence. Think about being young from Latvia...this is the first time you've ever been on airplane and you walk out from behind the stage. You walk out and you're in shoes this high (gestures to a 5" stiletto) and there's a thousand people looking at you with cameras flashing. Think about that very first moment. See that's the story you should start talking to the girls about is, 'What do you fee like?' So it's a lot easier to do that exact thing in a smaller show and then another show and another show and then by the time you get to Prada, you got it.
Craig: So you might not necessarily try and book her for all the big shows?
Faith: Exactly. The first season is important but the second season is more important. Because the first season, lets say you got all the shows. You've got to keep them the second time. It's easy to get the first time. Now you have to do the editorial. Now you have to be out there the whole time. Because your only new once. (pause)
You are only a new girl once.
...you have to really know how to pace it. You have to know what you'll be able to sustain and not sustain.
ON THE IMPORTANCE OF THE EDITORIAL IN A MODELS CAREER
Craig: How important is editorial?
Faith: Very important.
Craig: More important than campaigns?
Faith: It's all about VOGUE. If you are a VOGUE girl you are everywhere. Go into VOGUE magazine. You want to learn something, go in Vogue look at all the girls that are in the well. Go in Anna J, any one of them, Catherine, those are the girls that are doing all the campaigns. Those are girls that are in all the shows.
WHY GOOD RELATIONSHIPS WITH KEY PHOTOGRAPHERS ARE IMPORTANT
Faith: ...I think that in our world...when a girl starts, if you have one of the three or 4 really important photographers behind you, that's the girls that are making it. So if you have Steven Meisel, you have Mario Testino, you have a Craig McDean, you have a David Sims... you have one of those guys behind you, you're in.
Craig: So that's the goal then?
Faith: That's the goal.
Craig: Is that how you view your goal, moreso the photographer?
Faith: It is. You could walk in 1 show. I could get you to walk in Prada, you can walk in Gucci, you can walk in 1 show. But you didn't do good in that show. Or you know. You had the exclusive for the good show. I've seen girls have an exclusive to Prada and you never see them again. They weren't so great in the show. But at least if you are in a picture, it's out there. and it's out there for at least a couple of months and people keep seeing it. It's different. It's on the shelf its always there...with magazines while they're sitting out there, people are able to take them home and they keep looking and looking and looking at them....
Craig: The photographers are the key then?
Faith: The photographers and the magazines have all the power. Designers are important, don't get me wrong. They are very important. But I think it goes first with if you can get to the photographer. There are some girls that are really photographers girls.
ON THE IMPORTANCE OF A MODEL LIKING CLOTHES AND FASHION AS A NECESSITY TO SUCCEED
Craig: Does a girl with a genuine appreciation for fashion and clothing fare better in this industry?
Faith: You don't have to care about clothes...I don't think you have to love clothes. I don't think you have to dislike clothes. I just think you have to know how to wear clothes and know what feels good and right on you.
Craig: But like a girl who can get in touch with the artistic aesthetic of a Yohji Yamamoto because she's interested in style?
Faith: I don't think that matters.
Craig: It doesn't matter?
Faith: Not at all. I don't think it matters at all. I think that girl understands better what, and appreciate more what she's wearing but I don't think that that makes her a better model or makes her any better at what she does because she understands the dress
ON TWO TYPES OF FAME FOR A MODEL
Craig: How important is press as opposed to campaigns, editorials in magazines, and runways to a models career?
Faith: It depends upon the model. So there's a "high fashion model" lets call her that's doing all the campaigns and doing Vogue and doing all the shows. It doesn't matter. Because for her, her bible is the editorial, the Vogues of the world, and doing runway.
Then there's a whole other group of girls that, they are famous because of the press. They probably were not really famous models. But they became famous because they dated somebody that was famous, they were in the right place at the right time, they dated a basketball player, there was something about them that made them famous.
...There's 2 different kinds of famous. There's fashion famous which is what every model, I hate to say it , aspires to. They aspire to being in the well of American Vogue, they aspire to being photographed by Craig McDean, and David Sims, Steven Meisel, photographers Bruce Weber, like that.
And then there are girls that you know that their dream was to be in Sports Illustrated or to be in Victoria's Secret. Its a very different kind of famous and its a different kind of fashion. So its completely different. So there's two types of fame.
ON THE INTERNET AND PRINT
Craig: ...how important is the internet going to be to a models career as opposed to print publications?
Faith: I think we've all been struggling through it for the last 7 or 8 years. I don't see the print magazine or the newspaper or even the written book going away. As hard as I try to read and kindle it was the same as turning the pages. I think the internet becomes important because every day you can change it.
I do believe that the print magazine never goes away. I don't think VOGUE ever goes. I think that they are going to do business a bit differently.
AND FINALLY: THE BIGGEST NAMES NEXT HAS DEVELOPED FROM SCRATCH
Craig: The biggest names you've developed from scratch?
Faith: Milla Jovovich, Molly Sims, Joy Bryant, Diane Kruger (the actress), Angie Everhart, Anja Rubick, Anna Jagodzinka, Catherine McNeil, and Jessica Miller.
I am in my tiny, little laundry room that is right next to the family room.
As much as I detest doing laundry, I do like my cozy, little laundry room as it has a door on it and since the entire On The Upside family believes this is MY room (because no one has a clue how to do laundry, will go near the laundry room for fear I will ask them to do laundry, never takes it upon themselves to sort, load, fold or hang any laundry ever, whatsoever, at any time!), I can normally wander in there - into MY little 8ft. x 6ft. space -close the door and ESCAPE for brief moments of solitude.
I sort clothes.
I load clothes.
I fold clothes.
I hang clothes.
It's mindless work, really, so ... I am content to hang out there for ten minutes or twenty minutes at a time and escape from all human contact and just let my mind wander and be massaged by the swish - swish - swish of my Kenmore washing machine and the drum - drum - drum of my Kenmore dryer.
It is peaceful, in a laundromat sort of way.
It is simple work and I enjoy moments of simple.
It is relatively quiet and, while my hands are normally quite busy, my rattled brain is offered these daily minutes to be cleansed and massaged back to some semblance of sanity because ...
This is MY 6ft. x 8ft. space in our house.
This is MY little oasis (while not at all tropical and lacking a hammock or even a chair and there are no fruity, umbrella drinks or handsome cabana boys).
But ...
It is often MY refuge ...
That is ...
Unless ...
Alexis searches the house ...
Opens the door ...
And invites her seven year old ...
BOUNCY
LOUD
RAMBUNCTIOUS
TALKATIVE
self ...
Into MY 6ft. x 8ft world.
*sigh*
"Hi Hon."
"Knock - knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock - knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock - knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Cabana who?"
"NO - banana!"
"Oh, yeah."
"Now I have to start all over again. Knock - knock."
*sigh*
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Hey - let's play hide and seek," I interrupt this JOKE! "You go hide."
She runs off happily and searches for the best hiding place ever. I can hear her LOUDNESS still ... even over the swish - swish - swish of my Kenmore washer and the drum - drum - drum of my Kenmore dryer.
*Laundry lady quietly tip-toes over and closes the door to the tiny laundry room and pretends to count, but really ... REALLY ... she escapes back to the islands, where she is lying in a hammack beneath the tallest and shadiest palm trees enjoying the soothing sounds of the ocean waves as they lap playfully against the beach . She opens her eyes only briefly to see her handsome cabana boy walking toward her in his blue and white floral swim trunks, bare, beach-bronzed chest and and sun-bleached hair and ... in his hand is a PINA COLADA with a pink umbrella stickin' out of the top of the frost covered glass and on his gorgeous face is a smile that says, "I am here to serve you - can I get you anything else."*
When you're five years old ... you one day decide that you can put on your own shoes and you won't let your mother help you.
When you're eight years old ... you one day decide that you can ride your bike on your own and you won't let your mother help you.
When you're ten years old ... you one day decide that you can choose your own clothes and you won't let your mother help you.
When you're twelve years old ... you one day decide that you can make your own breakfast and you won't let your mother help you.
When you're thirteen years old ... you one day decide that you can decorate your own room and you plaster posters on the walls and you won't let you mother help you.
When you're fifteen years old ... you one day decide that you can shop at the mall for your own clothes and you won't let your mother help you.
When you're seventeen years old you can ...
Put on your shoes by yourself.
Drive yourself to school, to parties, to the mall and and to your friends' houses.
Pick out your own clothes and cool outfits.
Make yourself breakfast and lunch and dinner and pick up chili-cheese-fries and a Route 44 cherry lime-aide from Sonic all by yourself and anytime you want.
Put posters and pictures of your friends and art you created and any crap you want on your walls and ceilings and behind the door of your room.
You can hang out at the mall and spend countless hours wasting time and spending far too much of you parents' money.
But ...
When your dad one day asks ...
"Courtney - can you pick me up some charcoal on your way home from Starbucks?"
You will likely say ...
"I don't know where to buy charcoal," and shoot your father the most innocent of childish grins.
"At the 7-11. You can pick me up some charcoal at the 7-11," your father will say nicely.
Then, you will likely say ...
"I don't know how to buy charcoal," and shoot your father the most innocent of childish grins.
"You just pick up the bag, walk up to the check-out counter and pay the guy," your father will advise.
Then, you will likely say ...
"Don't you have to be like 18 or something to buy charcoal?" and flash your father the most ridiculously confused smile.
"Uh - no," your father will respond.
Then, you will likely say ...
"But ... there are those things that kids aren't allowed to buy. Isn't charcoal like one of those things kids can't buy unless they're like 18 years old or something?" and flash your father the fakest confused smile you can conjure up.
"Uh - no," your father will respond. "It's charcoal, Courtney," he will say, a confused look riddling his fatherly face. "Charcoal. You do know what charcoal is?"
Then, you will likely say ...
"Uh -no."
On the upside ... *sigh*
*Note: The second picture of an innocent Courtney is a charcoal self-portrait done by Courtney.
I've never been to - well, anywhere - by myself - let alone to a conference where I will be meeting lots of other bloggers. Famous bloggers. Bloggers I admire and worship. Bloggers I have "known", but have never met.
I don't know what to wear. I always over pack. I do not want to come off gaudy or frumpy or nerdy or ... OLD! While ... I AM OLD - I do not want to come off - OLD! There will be sessions. There will be cocktail parties. There will be leisurely get-togethers in the evenings in my room (HA!).
I'm only going for 4 days - look at all these clothes! But ... my packing moto is - If it fits in the suitcase, it gets to go with me - so ... it is likely all going!
I am going to be meeting BLOGGERS!!! I know - I mentioned this - but ... I WILL BE MEETING SO MANY OTHER BLOGGERS!! I will be meeting her and her and her - and many, many others.
I am excited about this trip.
I am nervous.
AND ...
I am not equipped, socially, to handle this.
I'm not!
I'm good with people I know and not so good with people I don't know.
Ask my sister.
She's the social butterfly in our family - not me.
Never was!
I am going to do my best.
Use every trick my sister ever taught me.
Talk to people - smile - shake hands - ask lots of questions - offer personal information, blah, blah, blah.
I have little confidence that I will actually pull it off, but ...
I'm going!
I'm going to San Francisco and I have a room to myself (YIPPIE!) - a KING SIZED BED - NO KIDS for 4 days - NO nothin' about kids for 4 days except talking about my blog and hearing about other mommy blogs - NO household chores - NO yard work - NO office work - NO answering the phone in my house because I am the only one that ever does that - NO running kids all over the world to get to games and practices and classes and sleep-overs - NO making meals and washing dishes and clothes - NO making sure the animals are fed and the bathrooms have toilet paper and soap - NO picking up shoes and trash and dirty clothes ... NO PEOPLE AROUND THAT I KNOW!
I am not good with people I don't know.
I know - I said that.
But ... I'm not!
I never say the right thing.
I'm seldom very interesting.
And ... I'm thinking about taking this little stroller like thing to lug all my stuff around.
Seriously.
One of those grocery pull-along carts - OLD WOMEN use - those OLD WOMEN you see waiting at the bus stop - you know.
Yes...... I'm thinking about toting one of those along - to lug all my stuff. Like my laptop, binders, camera, batteries, business cards, purse ... HOW WILL I LUG ALL MY STUFF without one of those OLD LADY grocery cart thingys?
But ... if I do - everyone is surly going to think I am RIDICULOUS! Did you see her - she was pushing one of those OLD LADY grocery cart thingys - she looked RIDICULOUS - that On The Upside chick!
But ... I gotta lug my stuff!
I know I am over thinking this.
I tend to do that.
When I'm nervous - or scared - or out of my element.
Think - think - think - think - think ...
PLUS ... I now have only 6 days ... to LOSE 28 LBS!
*sigh*
Wish me luck!
I'm liable to have lots of stories when I come back or ----- more likely ----- you might very well be reading a few RIDICULOUSLY REVEALING STORIES ABOUT ME on other blogs!
About fifteen years ago, my husband and I sat in the living room of our first home with a realtor. We discussed in depth what sort of new home we were looking to buy, once we sold our house. I pulled out a small real estate book - complete with house photos and descriptions. I flipped through the pages and noticed this one particular home that I really liked. I took my little book and walked over to the realtor and said, "This house. This is what I want."
The realtor looked down at the brochure. And then, he looked down his nose at me, curled his lip and said, "Wouldn't we all."
The photo in that brochure was of a house behind a large brick wall with security gates on the front. I liked the look of the house because of the wall, as I had two small children, a dog and a husband with redneck tendencies (loves working on old cars). While this was a relatively old house, this seemed like exactly the kind of house we were looking for.
We promptly dismissed that realtor and coincidentally went on to buy that house and have lived in that house - the one that realtor presumed we could not afford - the one that realtor assumed was beyond our means - for the past fifteen years.
Never judge a book by its cover or a house by its security gate.
This was not a fancy house. This was not a house beyond our means. But, at the time, the realtor looked at the picture of this house with the large brick wall and security gate and promptly decided that we were too young for such a house - too poor.
This past week I went to north Texas visiting colleges with my twin daughters. These are the same twins that prefer to wear t-shirts to blouses, athletic shorts to skirts and Converse sneakers to ballet flats.
We toured a fine university in the morning and I requested a conference with one of the counselors right after our tour was done. Courtney, Chloe and I went in and made ourselves comfortable in his office. We went through our list of questions about the university and how it might offer academic programs my girls are interested in.
It was pretty clear, early on, that the counselor had his own ideas about my girls - about me. Mind you - he never asked about their qualifications, their test scores, their class ranking or anything else about their resumes. He simply offered answers in a tone - while well desquised behind a well rehearsed smile - that was condescending.
At one point, I inquired about academic scholarships - like some of the other universities offer to high achieving prospective freshman. He quickly responded by throwing out high SAT/ACT scores, high class rankings, blah, blah, blah, that a prospective student would have to meet before even being considered for "such" scholarships. And then, he sort of dismissed the whole academic scholarship discussion.
I kept my eyes on his smug face and my mouth shut. When we left, I never told my girls, but to myself I thought - I guess UT or Texas State or any of the other ten universities we are considering, might just be thrilled to take my - basketball shorts, t-shirt, Converse wearing twins ... and offer them substantial academic scholarships ... when they find out that these two girls are in the top 6% of their class of 600+ and their ACT and SAT scores rank them in the top 98% in the nation.
Never judge a teenager by the clothes they wear! And, seriously, never do it in front of the mother paying for the college tuition because ... she might just scratch your university off the list based on your arrogant attitude alone.
We know when others look down their noses at us and ... they know when they are doing it. We didn't buy that house fifteen years ago just to spite that realtor, it was merely a coincidence. But I kept that real estate brochure. It was my way of reminding myself of what it felt like to be looked down upon and also how it felt to prove somebody wrong.
(The house is the one circled on the lower left)
I don't know yet where my girls will be going to college, but what I do know is this ... they will probably still be wearing Converse sneakers and basketball shorts. Maybe even a tattoo or piercing in their nose or eyebrow. And ... they will likely graduate in the top of the class because that is who they are. They are not the clothes they wear, but they have their own styles, are paving their own paths in this world and are very confident and comfortable with who they are.
Having four kids, requires that I be resourceful, smart, creative and sneaky. It requires that a lot of thought goes into the tactics I use to get things done!
I have many tactics!
The tactic I am most proud of ...
The one that I use quite often ...
The one that I have perfected beyond all other tactics ...
Is ... the Daddy Tactic.
I am obviously not the originator of this tactic, but I have to say ... I am GOOD at utilizing this technique!
Here is the perfect example of how I use the Daddy Tactic:
Alexis came to me with a toy she had dropped (a Barbie lap-top) down in the family room. This toy, in her arms, was buzzing when she walked up to me. She said, "It broke. It won't turn off."
I took this toy in my hands and proceeded to push and poke at all the buttons; the on/off switch several times - it kept on buzzing - it was broken. I turned it over and said, "Maybe it's the battery."
Alexis wrinkled up her face and squeaked loudly, "Noooooo ... it's not the battery. It's broken."
I agreed, but I did not say this. Instead, I said, "Daddy will be able to fix it. We'll have Daddy look at it when he gets home." I then told her to take the buzzing toy somewhere else.
She then cried pathetically, "But, I'll hear it all night long," so worried I was saying for her to take it to her room.
I said, "Go put it in the garage - that'll work." She seemed happy with this solution and went on her way.
She was not necessarily worried about this toy, because she proceeded to inform me that she wants the new Barbie lap-top she's seen on TV. I think she was thinking we would just throw this buzzing toy away, but, not me. No ... the "Daddy can fix it," is the most ingenious tactic ... so, I whipped it out and I used it.
This tactic keeps me from having to fix just about anything I have no clue how to fix, don't want to figure out how to fix or don't have the time to fix. Because, "Daddy can fix it," and over the course of time it has become clear that he is the only one who can fix it, and he is wiling to quickly exhibit these talents proudly to his children, I don't have to ... fix it, change its batteries, glue it, stick it on, untangle it, screw it, unscrew it, shine it or build it!!!
HEY - I have changed my share of batteries and figured out my share of broken toys over the years! I have put on and taken off more Barbie clothes than I have changed my own clothes! I have colored pictures, painted trees and birds and butterflies, put together puzzles, set up tiny furniture in tiny doll houses, read a billion books, cut and glued pictures on posters, set up race tracks, organized many a miniature car collection ... if this tactic works for me, then I am going to use it! And then maybe ... I will have time to do all the other stuff I'm supposed to do and even answer all the questions being asked of me, like, "How long is a minute, anyway?"
I'd like to see my husband answer that one, to a six year old, in less than twenty seconds; to a child that does not comprehend clocks or second hands or ANYTHING having to do with the concept of time. I need time to answer these questions - he can fix the buzzing Barbie lap-top!
On the upside ... If my husband ever catches on to this tactic ... I will have to come up with something equally as satisfying and equally as resourceful. But ... he hasn't caught on yet and it's been 16 years of me using this tactic. I'm either a Ninja when it comes to secretly and silently delegating the turmoil around our house, he's an idiot at detecting sneaky covert operations ... or .... Let's just leave it at --- I'm a Ninja. I think 16 years has at least earned me that title. I am definitely a Ninja.
As a matter of fact ... I think my kids work hard at being odd - going against the grain - standing out in the crowd - marching to their own beat - they do!
But ...
Of all of my kids ...
Alexis is by far ...
The oddest!
So ...
It could not be more appropriate that Alexis' word of the month is the word --- ODD.
Alexis often has a favorite word that she uses over and over again and for the past month it has been the word ODD.
When we prepared to go on our Utah vacation just after Christmas, Alexis was very excited.
She loved the plane ride even though her ears felt odd when the plane flew above the clouds.
She loved eating in the airport even though she found it odd that there was no McDonalds.
She loved the excitement of passing through security and having to take off her shoes but did find it odd seeing everyone walking around in their socks.
She loved seeing the snow falling from the sky outside the window of the airplane and found it odd that the sight would scare the living day lights out of her mother.
She loved pretending like she was on a roller coaster in the airplane and would throw her hands up in the air when the plane would drop due to turbulence and liked how odd it made her tummy feel.
She was very excited and could not wait to get to ... Utah!.
On the afternoon of our first day, I unpacked Alexis' snow clothes and proceeded to dress her to go out and play in the snow.
She cried.
She whined.
She complained, "These pants feel ODD!"
She complained, "These socks feel ODD!"
She complained, "These gloves feel ODD!"
She complained, "This hat feels ODD!"
She complained, "These boots feel ODD!"
She complained, "Why do I have to wear all these ODD clothes?"
I ignored the complaining and the whining and the crying --- I stood her up and aimed her at the front door, "GO," I said. "GO PLAY IN THE UTAH SNOW!"
"It's not Utah," she turned back towards me. "It's U-T-A-L-L," she insisted with a slight Texas twang.
"Okay," I said. "GO PLAY IN THE U-T-A-L-L SNOW!" and I pushed my oddest child out the front door.
She did not go far.
She walked about 5 steps down the snowy sidewalk.
She turned.
She SCREAMED ...
"I'VE GOT A WEDGIE," at the top of her 7 year old lungs - so all the U-T-A-L-L Mormons could hear her all the way to the Tabernacle in Salt Lake City! "IT FEELS ODD!" she begged me with her eyes.
I walked out the front door.
I turned her around.
I put my hand down the backside of her snow suit and ... yanked those panties out of her butt crack.
She smiled and went on her way.
On the upside ... I threw my hands up in the air, closed my eyes and tried to pretend like I was on a roller coaster ride - WHEEEEEEEEEE - WE'RE HAVING FUN NOW!Oddly enough --- it didn't work for me.
I will not be giving baths or picking out clothes for school.
I will not be picking up toys or breaking up arguments or sweeping floors.
I will not be folding clothes or cleaning toilets or sinks or windows.
Starting tomorrow ...
I will be on vacation with my husband ...
Without any children (*stands and does a little happy dance beside her desk*) ...
For a week ...
Relaxing and resting ...
Without any children (*stands and does a little happy dance up and down the hallway*) ...
With really good friends ...
With really good food and beautiful scenery ..
With colorful drinks with flowers and umbrella's in them ...
It is going to be ...
Simply ...
Glorious!!
Glorious!!!
Did I mention the no-children part (*stands and does a little happy dance all throughout the house - with arms raised and waving in the air above her head and a smile on her face so big she looks downright stupid*).
It is a morning when my twins are at basketball practice.
Alexis and I are home alone, as Little Billy had gone to work on this day with his Daddy.
I am in a rush, as I have to go pick the girls up at their school and I scream down the stairs, "Alexis - you have to come and get ready to go. I'm going to pull out your clothes and you need to come and get dressed."
She heard what I said and yelled back, "I'll pick out something - I want to pick it out," and she came running up the stairs as fast as she could run - so as to catch me before I picked out her clothes.
I stopped looking in her closet and turned to leave her room. I turned back and said, "Okay - but don't pick out anything WEIRD - just pick out some pants and a shirt."
As I was walking down the hallway I heard her say, "What do you mean 'Anything weird?'" in her little diva voice, like how-dare-I-insinuate-that-she-has-no-taste!
I just smiled.
On the upside ... She did okay picking out her outfit on this one day. But ... for future reference ... anything weird includes:
Capri pants or shorts ... when it is 40 degrees outside.
Flip-flops ... when it is 40 degrees outside.
The brown sequined jacket - that should really not be worn ANYWHERE!
Your white patent-leather Sunday shoes with anything other than your Sunday dresses.
Your black patent-leather Sunday shoes with anything other than your Sunday dresses.
Your leopard print gymnastics leotard with any sort of tutu.
Your black cowboy boots with anything other than blue jeans.
Any Princess dress from your dress-up trunk.
Any pajama bottoms that sort-of look like pants.
Blue or red or pink or purple bandannas wrapped around your head or waist or wrists or ankles...
Almost every single thing I thought I knew ... was wrong.
Almost every single thing I thought I would never do ... I have done.
Almost every single thing I thought I would never say ... I have said.
Almost every single illusion ... has been dispelled.
The one and only thing I can say that has saved me from all-out-insanity is ...
THE TELEVISION!!
And ... while I truly believe that the one in our van is the most ingenious, life-saving, brilliant, worth-every-single-last-penny, invention ... I am just as grateful for all those TVs just plugged into the walls of our humble house!!
I am.
I don't care if you agree with me.
It is the one thing ... if you told me you were going to take every single item out of my house and I could only choose one thing to keep - I'd give you my nice cozy bed, I'd give you my lap-top (reluctantly), I'd give you my CDs and radios and jewelry and clothes and shoes and nic-nacs and furniture and rugs and toilets and tubs and books and dishes and dogs and cats ... and there they'd be ... my four children, perfectly happy, sitting on the cold tile floor, staring at the screen of our TV - naked - with big ol' smiles on their grubby, dirty faces.
On the upside ... Really, I'm glad I don't have to choose, as I'd be really hard to live with without my clothes and bed and toilet and tub and lap-top and jewelry and lap-top and shoes ...
(*Lowers head - sighs deeply - mumbles*) I have made a few mistakes.
I have allowed this child to believe that she has fine taste in clothing.
I have mindlessly indulged her attraction to makeup and allowed her to use it from time to time.
I have passed onto her my infatuation with clothes and shoes and purses and jewelry and foolishly encouraged this costly obsession.
I have influenced her terribly in the area of hair-madness.
I have been far too lenient in allowing her to voice her grown-up opinions.
She. Is. Out. Of. Control!!! (*hear off in the far distance, author's mother and sister laughing ... hysterically).
She wants to wear makeup each and every time we go out to a restaurant. She wants to choose her outfits to go anywhere. She insists on changing clothes at least once after she gets home from school, including new socks and shoes. She sifts through my jewelry for accessories to match her attire. She insists that her taste exceeds my own. She prefers clothing to toys. She has far too many shoes.
This past Sunday, when she was getting herself dressed for church (and was on the third outfit), she begged to wear a necklace from my jewelry box. I pulled out a gold chain and attached a heart pendant (Avon - gold with a pink heart in the middle). I could tell right away that this necklace did not meet her standards, but I went ahead a put it around her neck, turned her prissy little body around and guided her out of my room, so I could get dressed. She came back a short time later and asked for a bracelet, so I got her one. I decided to reconsider the necklace and asked, "Do you want to wear this?" And she said, "I really love this necklace, but No," (she said this really fast - like she was so relieved that she didn't have to wear this substandard piece of junk). She did not love the necklace, so ... I found her another one (what am I doing?).
On the upside ... I have yet to find a way to undo all the mistakes I have made (it's six years of them and I'm pretty good at instilling stuff in my kids' minds - I'm pretty sure I don't have a clue how to undo any of this), but ... at least she will dress herself (that's one point for me). And ... I finally got that girly-girl I so wanted ... (*pathetic groan*) (*again, mother and sister off in the distance laughing hysterically*).
I wash the last of the nightly dishes in the sink.
I wipe off the kitchen counter.
I let the cat out the back door - flip on the outside porch light - flip off the kitchen light and head upstairs.
I stop by the bathroom in the hallway and clean up the water splattered on the counter and mirror - put away toothbrushes and paste and flip off the light.
In the hallway, I lower the thermostat to a cool 73 degrees.
I turn back slowly and kick the door to my son's room open gently with my foot.
And then ... I see him.
He's lying perfectly still on top of his comforter.
His arms are criss-crossed across his chest - like a dead person in a coffin.
His eyes are closed.
He's wearing his jeans.
He's wearing a red t-shirt.
He's wearing his high-top Converse sneakers. The one's that are black, but are embossed on the sides with flashy designs of orange and yellow flames.
The light from the hallway shines into his little-boy-room and I can see those sneakers - those flames - clearly.
I walk over to his bed.
I nudge him.
He stays very still.
I say, "Little Billy," and I nudge him again.
Still - no movement.
I shake him harder, "Why didn't you change your clothes?" he stirs a bit. "Why aren't you in your pajamas?" he uncrosses his arms and opens his eyes - suspiciously more awake than a "dead" - truly, sleeping person would be. "Why do you still have on your shoes?" I tug on the closest Converse.
The boy flings his skinny arms above his head and rolls onto his side. He stretches, he arches his back - he mumbles ... "Because --- I didn't want to have to ... tie them again ... tomorrow," he pulls a pillow over his head.
The warden walks away.
She turns off the lights behind her and ... shuffles on down the corridor.
On the upside ... I am like a prison warden. I make the nightly rounds and then check in on the inmates - make sure all is good in A.L.C.A.T.R.A.Z. Some inmates are happy to follow the rules - do the normal things. But ... there are often rebels - trying to make their own rules - trying to come up with ways to stay a step ahead of everyone else. Some that skip showers and tooth brushing - wear their clothes over and over again and put their shoes on - before - they go to bed - lacing them up perfectly - so they are READY TO GO - back out to the yard - the next day. They are good for a laugh - these rebel inmates. (*hear off in the distance prison doors slam shut - lights off - warden slips into the shadows and heads off to bed*)
Little Billy is signaling me as I walk past his bedroom. He's supposed to be asleep, but after a week of Spring Break, his sleep schedule is monumentally screwed up and he is still lying awake at 11:00 - looking at the ceiling and searching for someone to talk to.
"Come here."
"Come here."
"Come say good night to me."
"Come give me a hug."
"Mom - come see me!"
I give in.
"How was your day?" he asks. "What did you do today?" Not questions appropriate for this hour of the night, but questions he does often ask his mother.
I pick up the dirty clothes off of his floor and fling them into the hallway. "I washed clothes," I begin. "And, I worked in the office," I go on. "I went to the grocery store, cleaned the refrigerator, swept the floor, cleaned the bathrooms," I took a deep breath and continued, "I watered the plants, cleaned the garage a little and stuff like that." I am now standing next to his bed and can see his face clearly as the hallway light is shining too brightly into his room.
He stays quiet for a moment.
He dramatically throws his hands over his eyes.
He moans ...
"Oh, MAN ... your life sucks! You need some fun in your life."
I pat the small boy on the head, kiss him lightly on the cheek and turn the light off in the hallway on my way back downstairs to do the nightly dishes.
Alexis is becoming quite the connoisseur of many things.
She knows a bit about this.
She knows a bit about that.
She spends A LOT of her time ...
Learning stuff ...
Listening to stuff ...
Experimenting with stuff ...
Tasting stuff ...
Smelling stuff ...
Touching stuff ...
You know ...
All the sorts of things that 7 year old connoisseurs do --- to figure out --- ALL THE THINGS THEY LIKE!
And ...
She KNOWS ...
'Zactly ... what she likes!
She likes some foods, like pizza and steak and spaghetti ...
But ... she does not like other foods, like ... onions or asparagus or tomatoes!
She likes some TV shows, but ... she does not like other TV shows!
She likes some clothes, but ... she definitely does not like other clothes!
She likes some music, but ... she does not like other music!
Recently, she was listing off those artists - singers - that she loves.
It was a well thought out list.
It was a long list.
It was ...
"I like Rascal Flatts, I like George Strait, I like Miley Sirus, I like Kelly Clarkson, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like ................
She's only seven years old, mind you, but ... the child knows what she likes.
About the time I was sure she had listed EVERY SINGLE singer she could possibly like, she takes a deep breath and says ...
"I also like ... Britney Spears," but then, her face gets all twisted ...
She cocks her head sideways ...
She looks me seriously in the eye ...
And, she asks ...
"Did that girl grow some hair back?"
On the upside ... I assured Alexis that Britney has indeed "grown some hair back", but ... stopped short of informing her that ... it did not happen ---- BEFORE THE GIRL'S BRAINS OOZED OUT OF HER HEAD!
Okay, I'm usually quite particular about which photos I allow to go on my site, in terms of their quality. And personally, I don't feel that the quality of this video really expresses my potential as a photographer. But since I'm not a videographer, and the content is so interesting, I'm going to make an exception.
The video shows many things. How difficult it is to get a clean shot of a model leaving a show. Look at the sheer number of people hovering around Heidi and Olga's side at the end of the video, trying to itemize the clothes that they are wearing. In an effort to get an itemization of the clothes that they are wearing, they often walk side by side with the model, which ruins many shots for many other photographers. People calling the models by their WRONG names. Other sheeple then calling Heidi and Olga by the same wrong name. The flashes that go off that blow out shots. Heidi and Olga holding each other, as if to protect themselves from the onslaught of photographers.
Tourist from Buenos Aires. Most of his clothes is from Italy. I especially liked the boots and zippers on the pant legs. Check out the guys waving hello in the background.
It is a morning when my twins are at basketball practice.
Alexis and I are home alone, as Little Billy had gone to work on this day with his Daddy.
I am in a rush, as I have to go pick the girls up at their school and I scream down the stairs, "Alexis - you have to come and get ready to go. I'm going to pull out your clothes and you need to come and get dressed."
She heard what I said and yelled back, "I'll pick out something - I want to pick it out." And she came running up the stairs as fast as she could run - so as to catch me before I picked out her clothes.
I stopped looking in her closet and turned to leave her room. I turned back and said, "Okay, but don't pick out anything WEIRD - just pick out some pants and a shirt."
With fashion month soon to be upon us, models will be attending casting calls in between fittings, shows, and visits to their agencies. If you haven't seen what a casting call for a runway show is like, it can be quite anxiety driven. Girls are literally lined up by the 10's and 20's outside in hallways. Some Casting Directors have pre-casting castings, in which they will see hundreds of girls in just 2 days time, so they can edit down their choices for runway shows accordingly. Just try mentioning the name Russell Marsh to a model and watch her reaction. Because of the timing, I thought it was appropriate to republish an interview I did with Sarah Doukas, the founder of Storm Model Management and the one who discovered Kate Moss at JFK airport. In it, we talked about the impact of style on a models career.
We sat down for a chat at her agency in South Kensington and what follows is a brief glimpse of the modeling world, distilled ultimately into two major categories: how a models personal style can help create more opportunities for them and how press (think my blog here) can help create more opportunities for models as well.
I must add that everyone at Storm Models from their Press Officer Paula Karaiskos to their entire New Faces Division was a pleasure to work with. Many thanks to everyone at Storm who helped me along the way and especially to Sarah for breaking from her hectic schedule for the interview.
THE IMPACT OF PERSONAL STYLE ON THE SUCCESS OF A MODELS CAREER
Craig: Can a models sense of style positively impact her career?
Sarah: I definitely think it can positively impact her career. It's got to be simple but the point about that question is, that if they have absolutely no style and they go out just not looking great, they're wearing very unflattering clothes and things like that, then it's definitely going to have a negative impact.
Craig: really?
Sarah: Oh god yes, there's no question. I'm obsessed with finding British girls. It's my big thing....and it's hard to get them to the point of going out to do shows...I know that once they hit that international circuit, and they're sitting in a Paris agency and seeing those Parisian clients, if they don't look the part...you know they're wearing some kind of scraggy old t-shirt...(sighs)..they don't have to go and spend a great deal of money, but style is really important, very simple. So I think it is important.
Craig: so the lack of style can definitely negatively impact
Sarah: Impact. There's no doubt that lack of style can negatively impact. I'm not talking about wearing Balenciaga, but very simple High Street stuff. That elongates your legs and is just flattering.
STORM AGENCY TAKES ACTIONS TO IMPROVE A MODELS STYLE
Craig: do you guys tell models how to dress here?
Sarah: yeah
Craig: for castings?
Sarah: yes
Craig: So if you don't mind me asking in what? just jeans...stuff that shows their body?....is that what they're supposed to wear?
Sarah: I think if they walked around in a great big smock it would be a bit a problem for a client and I'm not suggesting that they look provocatively, you know wearing sexy stuff but certainly stuff that shows the length of their body and that they're slim. You can get somebody with the most fantastic figure and they come in here and may be in a dress like this (motions wide with hands) the client would say, "well I wonder what's going on there....have you put on weight?"...They can look at their book but they don't really know...so it's advisable to dress in something that can really see, you know show your shape. That's what I think.
Craig: so the key for style...there's not many options if you're having to wear skinny jeans and t-shirts??
Sarah: well you can wear leggings, they are back in fashion. You can still layer up. You can wear a really nice cardi with a longer tightish dress with leggings. There are lots of options. You can wear a short skirt with leggings. With boots. Again with layers. But just not, you can't walk around in sort of voluminous clothes as the clients are going to say "Hey whats going on under there? Maybe she's pregnant?"
Craig: So you do intervene then? On occasion, when it comes to a girl's style?
Sarah: Well I sit at the booking table. I do all the time. I like everybody to be autonomous in their job here and do their thing. I don't want to look over peoples shoulder. I hate that kind of thing because I work at the booking table with everybody and I don't have an office. You know, I'm just one of them, I'm not the boss or any such thing.
But yeah I do because I know its going to have a negative impact if they go out looking like that. And they appreciate it. You can say it in a really nice way. You don't have to say, "listen you have terrible style. We need to completely change you." You just have to say, "now listen, when you go out I want you to look great."
GREAT PERSONAL STYLE CREATES MORE SALES VALUE FOR BOOKING AGENTS
Sarah: You know they go into a French agency or a New York agency, the bookers are looking at them for the first time and at the end of the day we have to be realistic about this job: they are selling a product, those booking agents. So they have to believe in it when they see it. So they have to see somebody looking -- great. The book can look fantastic. But you know what? You need to believe to sell something, of course you do. You can't make any bones about it. It's a human business. And I really like these girls or I wouldn't do it. But we are selling something. So you must look good.
THE IMPACT OF PRESS ON A MODELS BOOKING VALUE
Craig: regarding press as opposed to runway shows, advertising campaigns and editorials, press like a girl gets her photo taken and she's in the New York Times...or interviews...like this is a form of press (I pointed to 1 of 4 of my Teen Vogue solo pages)
Sarah: does it have their names?
Craig: it does
Sarah: Exactly, that's very important. Years ago nobody knew who models were. Apart from those famous models, they were never given credit in a magazine or anything so there were was no credits given. So that was one thing that people were quite anonymous. And i think press is huge and I think it's really important.
We started with PR in 89 or 90. Because I just thought it was hugely important and Richard Branson was my partner for many years and he was like, "Sarah" we know he likes the press...he was like "it's really important"
I think it's important. Kate Moss is the first one that we did it with. And I build press books and I've done it on all my models. Whether it be Sophie Dahl, Lily Cole, Devon Aoki, Jourdan Dunn, Behati Prinsloo, Liberty Ross....
Craig: one thing that really gets me about press is, yeah it's cool because the model gets her name circulated in the public, but how does that impact the booking value of a model?
Sarah: Huge, because you know you've got a model "Ann Smith" who doesn't get any press, who is a great looking girl, and works alot. And you've got somebody else, say "Paula Reed" who gets press, is out in the public domain, if you went and asked somebody in the street do you know who this is? They'd say yes. Well that's what market research is. So then you get a big company going, "I want a name." So you put this beautiful girl up who hasn't got press and you put this one up who has got press. Who are they going to choose? Does the general public know this person? So they sell masses and her value is much higher than this one's is. Way higher.
ALL THINGS EQUAL, THE MODEL WITH MORE PRESS GETS MORE OPPORTUNITIES
Craig: so everything else being equal, they both walked the same amount of runway shows, they both did the same advertising campaigns and editorials, but one just got the press, that one is going to be the more valuable one then?
Sarah: yes, much more. Look at our magazines. Look at the campaigns. They're all celebrities. Actresses. Somebody well known, they take up what, 80-90% of fabulous campaigns. You know that's because that's the power of somebody whose got a name....
But if you're in the business. If you see your chance that somebody can go that route and if they want to, you've got to take it because it's going to be a huge benefit financially to them and it's going to be a benefit to the agency...it feeds on itself. As soon as you do some press, it's unbelievable. You get so many opportunities open. People are calling. It opens doors.
Craig: so being that press is so important, do you train models in self-publicizing?
Sarah: There are definite pitfalls. Of course you say to them "look, don't open up too much about your private life, or things you don't want to say." You have to learn how to talk to press, but you need to keep it professional but you still need to keep it real. They need to be interested in you as a person. At the end of the day you've got to understand that you can just chat away and end up saying something that you wish you hadn't said. So you do have to be guarded. Open but guarded...Paula would sit in if it was somebody young. Like when Jourdan had done press. She would sit in....
PRESS MUST INCLUDE A MODELS NAME TO BE IMPACTFUL
Craig: Regarding press, it's valuable as long as it includes the models name?
Sarah: Oh it has to. It has to be all about her.
Craig: So just a photo without the name isn't necessarily valuable?
Sarah: nobody would know who you were....if they don't have the name, then the general public just don't know. It's interesting now when people ring and they say they, "Ah, I want somebody well known." Well it's not easy. Not that many models are well known anymore. They're just not -- for the general public. For our world, we know who they are, but the man walking down the street doesn't. They have to constantly see the image of a person and interviews on her, with her name, with her name, constantly for it to get into their head and they suddenly say, "Oh I know who this person is"
WORDS OF WISDOM TO THE COMMERCIAL MODEL
Craig:....commercial versus high fashion...who makes more money in the short-term?
Sarah: the commercial girls make a fortune
Craig: they make tons
Sarah: they make tons!
Craig: why is it then that every girl aspires to the high fashion?
Sarah: because we all want to be driving a Ferrari don't we?
Craig: but you don't necessarily make as much money do you if you go the high fashion route?
Sarah: no, You know you always get these girls that make a load of money. You know they're fantastic looking girls and they're doing brilliantly. And they're like, "you know what, I'm going to cut all my hair off. I'm going to go seriously edgy. I want you to get me into...." And I'm like "You're taking a massive risk. You're going to ruin your market in the short-term" And it happens. It does happen. I can mention lots of girls who it has happened....I always think, "You should be glad for what you've got. I understand wanting to aspire to better and greater things. But, you could in the short term lose your whole market "
Craig: so a girl can start off as a commercial model and then go the high fashion route?
Sarah: it happens
Craig: does it really?
Sarah: yeah
THE MONETARY VALUE OF OPENING AND CLOSING A SHOW
Craig: when a model opens and closes a show, do they get paid extra?
Sarah: well I don't know that they get paid extra per se, but if a model is good enough to open and close, she may well be on a much higher rate than somebody else. I mean it's negotiated. It's all negotiated.
NEW MAGAZINES NEED GREAT PHOTOGRAPHERS WITH A GREAT TEAM TO BOOK TOP MODELS
Craig: I've got another question for you. A new magazine, a start up magazine in London calls you up and they say "we want your top girl" What are the credentials that someone has to bring for a new magazine?
Sarah: They'd have to bring an amazing photographer, stylist, hair and make up...all the jazz.
Craig: What if they don't have a famous photographer?
Sarah: You would have to be very careful with the top talent. Because you don't really know what it's going to look like. You'd ask for a dummy copy. And this that and the other but you wouldn't give top talent.
walls are filled with photos everywhere. I like pictures with a sense of freedom in them, which this shot has.
Andrew Bevan reviewing pictures in the conference room.
Jane Keltner de Valle with Andrew Bevan
hallways lined with clothes
shoe closet
shoe closet
shoe closet
bags
On Friday I had to stop in at Teen Vogue to deliver some work that I recently did while in Europe. After spending some time with Andrew Bevan reviewing some photos, we took a walk through Teen Vogue's offices and I thought you might find it interesting to see what things look like inside the 9th floor at 4 Times Square. The walk involved a quick stop over inside Jane Keltner de Valle's office, a surprise visit to Mary Kate Steinmiller, and naturally, a walk through the closet. Back to regularly scheduled Models Off Duty shots tomorrow.
