I have four kids.
Having four kids, requires that I be resourceful, smart, creative and sneaky. It requires that a lot of thought goes into the tactics I use to get things done!
I have many tactics!
The tactic I am most proud of ...
The one that I use quite often ...
The one that I have perfected beyond all other tactics ...
Is ... the Daddy Tactic.
I am obviously not the originator of this tactic, but I have to say ... I am GOOD at utilizing this technique!
Here is the perfect example of how I use the Daddy Tactic:
Alexis came to me with a toy she had dropped (a Barbie lap-top) down in the family room. This toy, in her arms, was buzzing when she walked up to me. She said, "It broke. It won't turn off."
I took this toy in my hands and proceeded to push and poke at all the buttons; the on/off switch several times - it kept on buzzing - it was broken. I turned it over and said, "Maybe it's the battery."
Alexis wrinkled up her face and squeaked loudly, "Noooooo ... it's not the battery. It's broken."
I agreed, but I did not say this. Instead, I said, "Daddy will be able to fix it. We'll have Daddy look at it when he gets home." I then told her to take the buzzing toy somewhere else.
She then cried pathetically, "But, I'll hear it all night long," so worried I was saying for her to take it to her room.
I said, "Go put it in the garage - that'll work." She seemed happy with this solution and went on her way.
She was not necessarily worried about this toy, because she proceeded to inform me that she wants the new Barbie lap-top she's seen on TV. I think she was thinking we would just throw this buzzing toy away, but, not me. No ... the "Daddy can fix it," is the most ingenious tactic ... so, I whipped it out and I used it.
This tactic keeps me from having to fix just about anything I have no clue how to fix, don't want to figure out how to fix or don't have the time to fix. Because, "Daddy can fix it," and over the course of time it has become clear that he is the only one who can fix it, and he is wiling to quickly exhibit these talents proudly to his children, I don't have to ... fix it, change its batteries, glue it, stick it on, untangle it, screw it, unscrew it, shine it or build it!!!
HEY - I have changed my share of batteries and figured out my share of broken toys over the years! I have put on and taken off more Barbie clothes than I have changed my own clothes! I have colored pictures, painted trees and birds and butterflies, put together puzzles, set up tiny furniture in tiny doll houses, read a billion books, cut and glued pictures on posters, set up race tracks, organized many a miniature car collection ... if this tactic works for me, then I am going to use it! And then maybe ... I will have time to do all the other stuff I'm supposed to do and even answer all the questions being asked of me, like, "How long is a minute, anyway?"
I'd like to see my husband answer that one, to a six year old, in less than twenty seconds; to a child that does not comprehend clocks or second hands or ANYTHING having to do with the concept of time. I need time to answer these questions - he can fix the buzzing Barbie lap-top!
On the upside ... If my husband ever catches on to this tactic ... I will have to come up with something equally as satisfying and equally as resourceful. But ... he hasn't caught on yet and it's been 16 years of me using this tactic. I'm either a Ninja when it comes to secretly and silently delegating the turmoil around our house, he's an idiot at detecting sneaky covert operations ... or .... Let's just leave it at --- I'm a Ninja. I think 16 years has at least earned me that title. I am definitely a Ninja.