One day, not long ago, Alexis came home from school. After discarding her backpack and eating her snack, she walked into my bedroom carrying a bottle of bright red fingernail polish and she said, in a very bossy tone, "I need you to put this on me before we go to dinner." I stopped what I was doing just long enough to grant her request. As I began painting her nails, she watched closely and then said, "This is such a beautiful color." I laughed.
She knows beautiful when she sees it. As does her brother - especially when he was small. Sometimes when we would go to Wal-Mart and wander through the jewelry department, there was a period (when he was three or four) that every time he saw a necklace with glistening crystals (plastic), he would just have to have it. He would hold the necklace in his little hands and look at me with those big brown eyes and say, "It's just beautiful, Mama." I always agreed.
One time, he saw a bunch of these necklaces in five colors and begged to have them. I bought them for my little boy and he wore them proudly, everywhere. He wore them around the house and when he would go out to the yard. I would look out the window and there I would see him with his beautiful necklaces wrapped around his neck - chasing after the dog, throwing rocks or climbing up a tree.
Some people worried that I would buy necklaces for my son, but not me, or his father either. We knew it was not threatening to our way of thinking. And, if one day he were to show a preference for that sort of thing, well ... we will just cross that bridge when we come to it. At the time ... how could I deny him this thing he so admired - they were beautiful.
He's ten now, my little boy. Today is his 11th Birthday. He doesn't wear necklaces anymore, but if he did, I'm not sure I would be so surprised, with all the girls he has to compete with around our house.
When he was born I wrote love poems to him that hung on the walls of his nursery. The first poem I wrote was:
Dear God,
In my world of little girls Of hair bows and dolls and lace I never imagined a little boy Could ever find his place
But then one day ...
I looked above And gazed up to the sky
You opened up your heavens gates And smiled into my eyes
You gave to me a special child For me to call my own A little boy so wonderful I never could have known
He smiles across the room at me And giggles at my touch I can't believe you gave to me This child I love so much
When I look into his face Or kiss his soft warm cheek I feel the love you have for me And often hear you speak ...
"How is it that ...
In your world of little girls Of hair bows and dolls and lace You never imagined a little boy Could ever find his place?
Don't you know ...
I choose the child ... For each and every home? A special soul, in every child For each to call their own?
When I chose this boy for you I knew he'd find his place I knew he'd melt into your heart And fill the empty space
I know this child I know his name He's now your little boy
May Billy bring you love and faith And happiness and joy."
I could have never imagined the love and faith and happiness and joy he would bring into my life. He is so special ... this boy child of mine.
It was cold in my room and my bed was nice and cozy. My pillows and down comforter never feel as soft and cuddly as they do in the morning after all the kids are out of the house and I am home alone in a quiet room and snuggled in my bed.
I was not dreaming or stirring or wakeful - I was deep into the darkness of my empty mind and I was completely at peace.
That was .... until .....
The phone rang.
CRAP!
"Hello," I always try to sound like I am awake when I answer the phone early in the morning. I never want anyone to realize that I have climbed back into bed - when the rest of the world is awake and living their lives.
"Mom," it is my son. I love how he speaks to me when he calls me on the phone. Honestly ... he is the nicest to me of all my kids, I was thinking and then it occurs to me that ... he is also the only of my children that often calls from school - BECAUSE. HE. HAS. FORGOTTEN. SOMETHING!
"Yes," I say, cautiously.
"Am I going to buy pictures today, Mom?" his voice is so sweet.
CRAP! CRAP!CRAP!
I know the answer, but my groggy mind asks the question anyway, "Is today picture day?"
"Yes, Mom. Am I going to buy pictures?"
"It's group picture day today, right? They are just taking class pictures, right?" Now I am wide awake and sitting up in my nice cozy bed with my cuddly pillows propped behind my back.
"Yes Mom," his voice is still so soft and sweet.
"I didn't send money?" I also knew this answer.
"No. Am I going to buy pictures?" he just keeps asking.
CRAP! CRAP!CRAP!
"Do you want to buy pictures?" I ask, knowing full well that this is not something a small 10 year old boy should be deciding, but so hoping he will say "No, I don't care," and I can push the guilt under my pillow, lay back down, relax and go back to sleep.
"Everyone is buying pictures, Mom," he says softly, never once fluctuating his monotone voice and I imagine him looking around the classroom at his classmates, as we speak, walking their picture-order-forms-with-money up to the teacher's desk - poor Little Billy ... the only neglected child who has no form or money because his mother is hibernating at home while the rest of the children's mothers did their picture-ordering-duty and, of course, are not hibernating, but ... out in the world on this early morning ... living their lives.
"Can you bring money, Mom?" he is the sweetest thing.
CRAP! CRAP!CRAP!
Now ... I have been a mother long enough to know that this is where the conversation was going - I KNEW!
I was just stalling.
"I'll get the money up there, Sweetie," I say, and throw my warm legs over the side of my bed.
"Thanks, Mom," he hangs up.
On the upside ... Now, those that don't know me, would imagine that I jumped out of bed, raced to get myself dressed, ran a brush through my hair, put on my shoes, grabbed my purse and ran up to the school to give my son his picture money so he would not be the only child in his class that did not purchase the 5th grade Class Photo of 2008. But ... those that do know me - like my family and close friends - they know this is probably not the way things happened - at all. They would more likely assume that I slithered out of bed (grumbling A LOT), stumbled over to the window of my bedroom, peeked through the blinds, spied my husband's truck (which indicates that he is still home) and then scribbled out a check quickly, raced like a crazy woman through my house, searching frantically for the father of this boy child - placed the check in his hand and BEGGED HIM TO TAKE THE BOY HIS PICTURE MONEY!
My friends and family would be right - THAT'S WHAT I DID! And then ... I crawled back into my cozy bed.
There are no other mothers like BLOGGING MOTHERS!!
Am I right?
I am a BLOGGING MOTHER.
And ...
Being a mother that BLOGS, I am always - ALWAYS - A.L.W.A.Y.S ...
Looking for the next BLOG story.
I am.
So ...
I am on the phone the other day.
Just so happens I am on the phone with another BLOGGING MOTHER.
Not just any BLOGGING MOTHER, but ...
A FAMOUS BLOGGING MOTHER!
She and I have become friends over the past year or so and we recently decided that since we both plan on going to the BlogHer '09 Conference this July in Chicago (WOO HOO!), we would room together. After discussing this and finalizing our decision to do so, we talked on the phone to settle some reservation-making details.
During the course of our conversation - after talking a bit about her life and a bit about of mine - after discussing the conference and hashing over details - after about 10 minutes or so into the conversation - something happened.
Something happened on her end of the phone.
It was funny.
It made me laugh.
I said ...
"You know I'm going to blog about this!"
But ... I then assured her that I would never do that - it would stay just between us - I would never blog about her life on MY blog - never, never, never!!! It's an unspoken rule. I'd never do that.
She gave me permission to tell this story.
So ...
While we are on the phone, I can hear her kids playing in the background. Every so often, one will come close to her, ask her a question, she will answer and off they go back to playing - leaving their FAMOUS MOM BLOGGER to her business.
Then ... her boy child comes back, "Why do you have your helmet on?" she asks the child. "Do you want to wear your helmet? Well ... okay," and she returns to our conversation.
"He wants to wear his helmet?" I ask.
"Yes," she says.
"Are you outside?" I ask.
"No ... he just likes to wear it - so I let him wear it."
I don't need any further explaination to this - I get it.
She goes on to tell a VERY CUTE story about how one evening they took the kids to dinner and the boy child insisted on wearing his new helmet and how she - the FAMOUS MOM BLOGGER - felt sure that people in the restaurant surely must have thought that he was a "special" child. (She needs to write that whole story on her blog - it's a great story.)
So then ... after she and I talk another minute or so, the boy child returns and she says, "What do you mean you dropped your popcorn? Where did you even get any popcorn?" she explains to me that he has popcorn spilt and there are bits and pieces of popcorn all in the grooves of his helmet - I get the visual.
Then she says, "I'll make you guys some new popcorn," and she goes about putting the bag in the microwave - all the while continuing our conversation at the same time.
A bit of time lapses - the popcorn is done and given to the kids - we continue to talk.
A short time later, the boy child returns again and she says, "I see you spilt it. That's okay, just pick it back up and put it in your bowl - it's okay - you can still eat it. Just put it back in your bowl," she is trying to convince him and I am imagining him standing there - eyes wide and tearfilled - looking at the popcorn on the floor - looking up at FAMOUS MOM BLOGGER - but I never hear him say anything so I believe she is convincing him. Then she says, "Or ...... just sit right there and eat it off the floor."
It was at this point that my BLOGGING MOM radar went off!
I tried to ignore it.
I tried to turn the radar off and just giggle through the moment, but ..
I could not help myself ...
I said ...
That famous line we MOMMY BLOGGERS are known for ...
You know the one ...
I said ...
"You know I'm going to blog about this!"
Now ...
I'm going to offer a list of BLOGGING MOTHERS and give you the opportunity to guess which of these moms is the MOTHER BLOGGER that told her boy child, "It's okay, it won't hurt you - just eat the popcorn off the floor."
Who do you think it is?
Kat from Seeking Sanity
Karen from The Rocking Pony
Karen Meg from A Day In The Life ... One Glass At A Time
Holly from June Cleaver Nirvana
Elaine from Miss Elaine-ous Life
Rachel from From The Land Of Monkeys And Princesses
Kami from Kami's Khlopchyk
JCK from Motherscribe
I love this story because - I have been known myself to encourage children of mine to ... eat food off of the floor.
I know there are mothers out there that might very well frown upon a mother that would encourage her child to eat food off of the floor - but - I am not one of those mothers.
I get it!
I've been there!
I've done it!
I LOVED IT!
On the upside ... This is a contest. Leave me your guess in the comments and you will be entered in my contest to win a $25.00 gift card to Target. I know - I don't normally do contests, but I thought it would be fun guessing which mother said this. You don't have to be right with your guess - you just have to choose one name and leave a comment. I hope you take the opportunity to visit all of these women and try to figure out who it was. I will leave the contest up through Friday (1/23/09) evening, 9:00 p.m., and then on Saturday sometime, I will announce the winner and also let you know which of these bloggers gave me permission to tell this story (and who it is that will be my roomie in Chicago for the conference).
The little boy that I know is confident, happy and very sure of himself.
But ... on this one night, right before he went to bed, I went to him and told him that his father and I would be going to his school the following morning, early, to see the school's flag ceremony. These ceremonies are held at his school, once every couple of months, and it is in these ceremonies where children from each class in the school, are chosen, for awards. These awards are called The Pillar Of Character Awards (Trustworthiness, Citizenship, Caring, Fairness, Responsibility & Respect). When I told my son that we would be attending the ceremony - he began to cry.
"I don't know why you're going," he sobbed.
Sitting down on the edge of his bed, I said, "Daddy and I want to go - we haven't been to a flag ceremony in a while."
He continued to cry. "I'm not going to win. I never win," tears were streaming down his face. "I haven't won in five years. There's always someone better than me," he was very sad.
I tried to console him, but he was inconsolible. "Maybe this time you will win. And even if you don't win, we still want to be there - to recognize everyone else that will - right?"
I had never heard him voice concern, let alone sadness, over not having ever won one of these awards before. I was sad for my sweet son.
But I left him, eventually, and he settled down and went to sleep. I was hurting for him, but at the same time I was very happy. For ... I knew ... he would receive an award the next day.
His teacher had phoned me and asked that we make sure that we attended the ceremony - as, Little Billy had been chosen from his class, to receive an award.
So, we went and we saw and we were proud. He was proud. He could not have been more proud. It was a fine moment for our sweet boy.
Walking out of the ceremony with my son, a little boy walks up behind us. He is a Downs Syndrome child and he seems to know my Little Billy.
The boy moves close to my son and tries to capture his attention - I step back and watch.
Little Billy is talking to one of his other buddies, but hears the voice of the other boy and turns to look at him. As soon as he sees this child ... he lifts his arm - without one moment of hesitation - and he puts his arm around the boy's shoulders and pulls him close.
They walk out in front of me ... my sweet Billy, with his shiney medal around his neck, and his little buddy, Jack.
He looked back in my direction - still walking with his arm around Jack's neck - and I smiled.
When Little Billy got home that afternoon from school, I asked him, "Do you know what made me most proud today?"
He smiled a great big smile, grabbed ahold of the medal around his neck and said, "My medal?"
I grabbed him into my arms and pulled him too me and squeezed him tight and said, "No. I'm proud you got that medal because I know how much you deserve it. But ... I was most proud for the kindness you showed to Jack."
He pulled back and looked me in the eyes and I could see that he was confused.
I said, "When you hugged him - in the hallway," explaining what I had seen.
My confident, happy and sure of himself boy turned and started to walk away. Before he left, he turned back and looked at me and said, "Well, he's my friend," with the sort of nonchalance you would expect from a boy that had just received an award for "Fairness".
It took 5 years for my son to get that medal, but ... on this day ... I do not believe they could have chosen a better boy!
After church, my lovely family, decked out in their beautiful Christmas attire, strolled out of the church and made their way across the parking lot to our van. I watched from the church steps as my husband unlocked the door and my daughters and son climbed in.
As I approached the van, I heard a 6 year old girl screaming at the top of her lungs. The screams could be heard for miles and echoed loudly off of the church steeple. A chill ran up my back, fluttered across my shoulders and raced up the nape of my neck - where there it sent a chill through my body so cold that it could have frozen a raw chicken in two minutes flat.
I looked into the back seat and there on the floor was the six your old girl, in her beautiful velvet Christmas dress, hair pulled into a bun at the back of her head and held beautifully with a black velvet bow, and lovely black sequined shoes on her six year old feet. Straddled on top of her, also lying on the the floor, was the 10 year old boy, in his black church suit with the crisp pink shirt and gray speckled tie. They looked up at me, as I stood in the door - my children.
I closed the door, the two children still sprawled out on the floor, climbed quietly into my seat up front, closed my door and then screamed, "YOU ARE GONNA' GET IT WHEN WE GET HOME," to my boy child, now climbing like a little zoo-monkey - into his seat. Across the aisle from him was my 6 year old daughter, crying pathetically because she had been trampled to near death by her zoo-monkey-brother trying to get into the car before her ... and her beautiful bun was no longer nice and neat and pretty - but now a stringy mess of hair flowing down her back. She could barely catch her breath through all the sobs and tears.
I turned back in my seat with a huff and looked over at my husband, who was clueless as to why I was so angry and simply said, loudly, "HE IS GONNA' GET IT WHEN WE GET HOME." My husband shook his head in acknowledgement.
In the back seat, the little zoo-monkey boy kept saying, as we drove away from the church - away from the other civilized families and their darling little church-going children, "What do you mean, 'Get it?'" And I would not answer. "What do you mean - just explain to me what you mean, 'Get it,' so I'll know what to expect." I still did not answer and was very much enjoying seeing him sweat, for a change. "Come on ... what do you mean?" he begged and begged and begged.
On the upside ... Sometimes I just want to wring their necks and then sometimes I just want to break out in hysterical monkey laughter - "What do you mean, Get It?" - he was so scared and he must have asked 15 times - like I was going to string him up and hang him from a banana tree or something - I was so pleased with myself that, after 10 years with this zoo-child, that I had actually said something that scared him to death - said something that really had him worried - it was a very proud moment. (*sigh*)
I only had to buy candy for just me (TWIZZLERS and DOVE CHOCOLATES).
I went about life as if I had all the time in the world.
I made decisions that accommodated the important issues in my life and those decisions were usually correct.
Somewhere ...
During the span of time since before I had kids ...
And ...
After ...
I had kids ...
I lost my freakin' mind!
My brain stopped functioning normally.
Decisions that would seem illogical to the pre-kid-Kellan ... somehow now often get lost in the rational part of my brain and the irrational part takes over, making those irrational decisions seem ... logical.
Like ...
Recently ...
"Hon. Hon. We need to do some work on that cute little gazebo that sits in our backyard. It needs some repairs and we need to get that done," I said to my cowboy husband not too long ago.
"Uh ... okay," was his (usual ) appropriate response.
So ...
We went about doing repairs.
It took several weeks and then ...
It was done.
All nicely painted and caulked and repaired.
Just like new.
So that I could now maybe make it into a cute little tea room. Because - you know - I often have my old lady friends over for tea.
Or ...
I could maybe use it for a cute little pool house. I could stack all the towels in there neatly on cute little Pottery Barn shelves. Hang some curtains. Purchase some fun multi-colored rugs. Maybe a towel rack. Maybe ...
Or ...
I could use it as a potting shed ... put all my pots and shovels and dirt in there. Have a nice little room for me to bond with my plants. I could put a little portable radio in the corner, turn on my music and escape into my little potting shed for hours and hours. No one would ever find me.
Or ...
We could put a hot-tub in there and maybe get in some late night hot-tubbing with The Cowboy.
Or ...
Maybe we could ...
Give it to the boy child ...
For ...
HIS BAND!
See ...
This is where my mind went wonky and somehow between ...
Perfectly logical ...
Perfectly beautiful ...
Perfectly reasonable ...
Perfectly normal ...
Perfectly thought-out ...
Thoughts ...
I lost my freakin' mind!
On the upside ...I know ... Giving the boy child a drum set was a pretty good clue that I had already lost too many brain cells to even consider making this gazebo decision without outside intervention *hear off in the distance other insane mommy inmates banging their heads against the walls and crying out in the night*.
I don't know why, exactly ... but, I have had a reprieve.
I have enjoyed its absence.
I have appreciated the break.
But ...
It did not last.
It was too good to be true.
It was bound to happen again ... eventually.
I was at church recently, sitting with an old friend.
My mother was there.
My friend's sister was there.
My friend's sister's ... beautiful, youthful, twenty-something, daughter - the one with the porcelain complexion, silky, long dark brown hair, pearly white smile, slender, beautiful body, giggly stories - Yes ... she was there, as well.
I sat in a pew next to my dear friend.
My friend's sister and the goddess-like daughter were in the pew right behind us.
My mother sat in the pew behind them.
There was no one else in the chapel and we had gathered to talk.
My friend's niece began to tell a darling story about her little son.
We listened.
We giggled.
We laughed.
"How old is he now?" I asked - remembering this boy when he was only a baby. Remembering the niece when she was just a baby. Realizing at that moment ... that she was STILL ONLY A MERE BABY!
"Oh ..." she smiled so big, "He's 7 years old," she gushed with pride.
"I can't believe that!" I exclaimed - this comment we all say when we hear about a child we haven't seen for long while.
"Yes," she explained, "He's seven now."
I hesitated.
I hem-hawed.
I debated with myself for a moment.
Then, I said ...
"My Alexis is six," the words came out of my mouth at the same time my brain said, 'Keep quiet. Keep it to yourself - you fool - you are OLD - she is a child - she is a goddess-child with a 7 year old son. She will never understand. It will likely blow her mind. She's liable to faint or have spasms or ... GAG'!
But ... I said it.
I did.
And ...
I sat there and waited.
We all waited.
She got this strangled look on her face and then she muttered, "Wwwhat?" with a startled hesitation in her voice.
Had she heard it right?
Could it be possible?
Surly not!
"Yes ... I have Alexis - who is 6. I mention it because your story ..." I keep talking, but I see that she is clearly in shock, "Was so cute and I know how they are - 6 year olds - so cute," I ramble.
Then ...
Once she heard me ...
Really HEARD me ...
This goddess-child ---- the one with the shiny hair, porcelain complexion, pearly white smile, slender, youthful body ---- the one with a child one year older than mine ---- (ME ---- the elderly, aging friend of her Aunt M ---- the one not quite yet in need of a walker or a hearing aid, but ancient, nonetheless) ... she ... opens her eyes real big and ...
She GASPS!
Like people do when they hear or see something ... shocking!
Like people do when they hear or see something ... hideous!
Like people do when they are a struck by ... fear!
That sort of GASP!
The sort of GASP ---- where the person just instinctively SUCKS in a bunch of air - no words - only that G-A-S-P sound.
You know.
YEP!
It. Was. Hysterical!
And ...
It didn't hurt my feelings.
It didn't even surprise me.
It ... made me ...
THROW MY HEAD BACK AND LET OUT A LAUGH SO SPONTANEOUS AND INFECTIOUS - We all began to cackle right there in the chapel in the very front pews.
She, of course, began to try to back-pedal herself out of this moment, but it was too late.
I said, "I know ---- it's just not right," and we laughed some more.
On the upside ... Just about the time I am perfectly happy, strolling along, living in my I'm-too-old-to-haven't-had-any-"Are-you-the-grandma?"-comments-in-a-long-while-so-I-must-be-looking-younger DELUSIONAL world ... A perfectly darling, young goddess-child-with-a-7 year old ... comes along ... and pushes me right back down in my rickety rocking chair and hands me a cup of tea and and afghan to throw across my feeble legs.
I love my husband - I love him, I love him, I love him!!
But ... what is the matter with him?
We had some friends over for a Bar-B-Q last weekend. My friend and I were sitting out on the back porch talking. We could see, through the sliding door, my husband and her husband standing just inside in the kitchen. In their midst were children running wild, children climbing on furniture, a child with a bow and arrow, a child with a really long walking-stick ... just-a-swingin'-it round and round and round above his head (like a Samurai warrior). There in the midst of all this misbehavin' and out-of-control hellions - was my husband. He was gazing upon these antics and smiling. He'd look over at my friend's husband and they'd laugh. He watched all this chaos as if these were not HIS children ... but like he was watching it from outside of his sane mind. Like he was watching a bad cartoon.
I pushed the sliding door open and said, "Hon," and he turned and looked at me (with that look that indicated that he was already aware of what I was going to say). "W-h-a-t is going on?" I asked, controlling my tone while my mind was screaming "What is the matter with your brain?" He did not answer. I said, "Do you not see all this (I used an exaggerated sweeping hand gesture)? " He looked at his buddy and they chuckled. I then said (loudly), "You kids - OUTTA HERE!" and they all scattered, like the good little roaches that they are. I closed the door and went back to talk with my friend.
What is the matter with him?
Why does he not care about this stuff? How can he just stand there and watch this CRAZINESS and never once say, "Hey, you guys, you shouldn't be playing with that stuff in the house," or "Your mom is gonna' skin you if you break something." No ... he just stands there and watches (I swear) like ... I don't know what. Like he enjoys all of it. Like he wishes he could join in ("Here - give me a sword...").
The other day, I went outside to find my son throwing razor blades (Yep!) at a piece of sheet rock that my husband had propped up for him beside the garage (so my son could practice being a Ninja - I guess). Fortunately one of my girls came and said, "Do you know The Boy is throwing razor blades at a piece of sheet rock?" I went outside, confiscated the razor blades, threw the sheet-rock target into the trash and looked at my husband and said, "What is the matter with your brain?"
One time, I went outside to find my tiny little boy (7 years old) 60 or so feet up in the air, in the bucket of my husband's bucket truck - up above the trees, over the electrical lines - up in the SKY. On the ground, near the truck, was my husband with his hand firmly gripping the joy-stick that was raising this 7 year old boy (his son) up and down, up and down, up and down. I said, "Bring him down please," and pulled my son from the bucket. I grabbed my little boy's hand and began walking to the house, my son whining, "Aw Mom - Dad was watchin' me." I looked down at him and said, "I SAW him watchin' you," and then turned to my husband and said, "What is the matter with your brain?"
I know I am the tough one, the mean one, the not-fun one ... but, is it too much to ask for this husband of mine to join me in the RAISING OF THESE CHILDREN?
On the upside ... I love him, I love him, I love him!!!!!!
When he was small, he followed after me everywhere, just like his sisters. He clung to my leg when he was confronted by strangers. He was on my lap and in my arms for the beginning days of his life and seldom wanted to leave my side.
But ...
Somewhere along the way, he found himself a pair of child-sized scissors and ... he cut those apron strings and off he went to find his daddy. And, the only time he really looks for me now, is to help with homework or ... late in the evening when he wanders into my bedroom, crawls up on my bed and begs me to rub his back. I am always happy to oblige.
Following, for so many years, in his father's footsteps, has led Little Billy to many places he would not have experienced if he had stayed home, close by my side.
It has offered him a life filled with exciting adventures and manly errands. Of fast cars and dirty finger nails. Of time spent under the hoods of cars, in the aisle ways of Ace Hardware and Auto Zone, searching for parts and tools. Of time at the end of a pier with fishing lines strung into murky waters. Of peering through slits of deer blinds in the coldest part of the morning. Of sharing the front seat of a truck with his dad and engaging in manly conversations.
Little Billy's daddy grew up in rural Texas. He was a country boy. He learned to hunt and fish and aim a sling shot at glass bottles lined up on the railroad tracks. He learned to work on cars and trucks and did not worry that he smelt of grease and oil. He was not coddled by his parents and was allowed a childhood that encouraged roaming and wandering and adventure.
Little Billy's daddy does not coddle his son. He allows the boy to climb trees and is content to stand below the branches and smile up in amazement and pride. He hands his boy the largest rock he can find and encourages his son to toss the rock into rivers and streams and sometimes at the broad side of a barn. He stands over the boy's shoulder and steadies a man-sized rifle.
I often worry about Little Billy. "Keep him away from the alligators," I will insist, when I hear there are Texas gators in a nearby tank. "Make sure he watches for snakes - I am not going to be happy if you don't bring him home alive!" My fears and worries are never ending. "Make sure you quiz him on his spelling words," I will scream as they climb into the truck. "He's got a spelling test tomorrow." I think they laugh at me as they drive away.
Not too long ago, the phone rang in the early morning - I was still in bed. It was Little Billy calling from school.
"Hi, Mom," his voice was quiet, almost a whisper.
"Hi, Sweetie. What's up? What's the matter?"
"Nothing's wrong," he says, "Guess what I got on my math test?" He sounded very calm.
I sat up in my bed, "What? What did you get?" I hoped for good news.
"I got a 100," he said proudly.
I went on and on about how proud I was and then asked where he was calling from. He informed me that he stopped by the office to make the call, on the way to his next class.
"And ..." he went on quietly, "Dad wrecked the Corvette this morning," he offered nonchalantly. "But, you didn't hear it from me. I gotta go, Mom - see you after school."
On this morning, his dad had driven him to school early to complete a math test he had failed to finish the prior afternoon. On his way out of the driveway, he ran the rear end of the Corvette into the corner of a trailer - the damage was minimal.
I smiled a big smile when I hung up the phone that morning. While I was a bit worried about my husband's Corvette, the worry was replaced quickly with pride and smiles. Proud of a boy that took time out of his morning to call his mom. Proud of a boy that felt pride of the work he had accomplished. Proud of a boy that even though he would prefer spending his time in the woods or in the bed of a pickup truck on a back country road, he finds time to be aware that his future is dependent possibly on the worth of an A on a math test. A lesson his mother had been trying desperately to teach him. A lesson she was not certain he was grasping or embracing.
I also found it interesting that he switched sides - if for only a moment - to rat out his dad about the Corvette.
I think there might still be a bit of a bond between Little Billy and his mom. I might not know how to load a shot gun or clean a catfish, or be comfortable when I see my son on the top of the roof or slinging razor blades at a bull's eye painted on a sheet of plywood, but ... I do believe he might just be looking to me to help guide his little butt through school. He might just believe he will do good to achieve scholastic honors along with ... antlers he can mount on his wall.
HAPPY 12th BIRTHDAY, LITTLE BILLY!
May your life always be filled with adventure.
May you always realize how lucky you were to have such a wonderful father.
May you never forget that the part of my heart that is yours ... is overflowing with love and pride for my precious son.
Sometimes, a fight is in the air just waiting to be unleashed - let out in an avalanche of rage - in the On The Upside household.
It was one of those mornings.
Somehow, Little Billy made the huge mistake of sitting in front of Courtney and Chloe's computer.
He came running up to the kitchen with tears in his eyes, "It's not fair," he squealed, "The girls won't let me go on the computer - they think I'm the one who got the virus on their computer and so now they say I can never use it again." He was in such distress.
I immediately became - distressed.
These fights - this bickering - is enough to make me resort to all sorts of tactics to resolve matters that seem to find only fuel to escalate the problem when rational suggestions are offered.
"Ask for your own computer for your birthday," I say loudly, knowing the words from my mouth will float past the boy in front of me and downstairs to the ears of his "mean" sisters. "Ask for a laptop," I suggest and then smile.
Little Billy smiles back.
Suddenly, from the family room emerge two angry sisters, bellowing loudly their disbelief that a mother would suggest such a ridiculous idea. "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" one would scream, "IF HE GETS HIS OWN LAPTOP - I'M MOVING OUT OF HERE," another one threatens. "HE'S ONLY ELEVEN YEARS OLD!" the words are spoken distinctly and spewing spit is attached at the tail-end of the sentences. They were enraged and besides themselves with anger.
They tried and tried to determine if their mother was serious or merely suggesting such an outrageous idea to make a point. They were unable to determine which.
I smiled.
Little Billy snickered and smiled.
The mother knew that the pacifying of the boy child by her suggestion was obviously provoking the two daughters to almost uncontrollable anger - but, she did not back down. The angrier they became - the more she wished a laptop for the boy. It was a test, of sorts - this little game - that THEY FAILED!
The mother shewed the girls out of the room - tiring of their loud voices and angry faces. Once gone, she turned to the boy child, pulled him toward her and whispered in his ear "You're my favorite," and he smiled real big - with a look on his face that suggested that he never doubted this fact.
Little Billy stayed near his mother in the kitchen - probably in an effort to stay clear of angry sisters. After a little while, and several conversations later, Little Billy got up to leave the room. I called him over, "By the way," I said, "You're not really my favorite," I had to set the record straight.
He giggled and then his eyes got big, "W-hat? W-hy?" he was shocked. "Well ... then who is?" he asked seriously
"Well - you know I can't have favorites," I explained, "I love all you kids the same. I was just kidding."
"You can have a favorite - sure you can," he suggested confidently.
"You're my favorite boy," I ran my hand through his hair.
"I'm your only boy," he snarled and then ... walked out of the room.
I screamed after him, "YOU'RE MY FAVORITE BOY IN THE WHOLE WORLD."
No response.
On the upside ... After Little Billy left the room, Alexis cozied up next to me,"I'm your favorite - right?" and smiled real big.
"Are you fighting with anyone?" I asked.
She answered, "No."
"Do you want to move out of this house?" I asked.
She answered, "No."
"Do you want a laptop for your birthday?" I asked.
I can't even begin to count the number of times, over the years, that I have lied.
Now, don't get me wrong, I do not approve of lying and I do not consider myself to be a liar ... but, I have told my share of lies.
I tell white lies to avoid hurting people's feelings.
I tell tiny lies that might, on occasion, exaggerate the details of a story, so as to make it a bit more interesting.
I lie on occasion to get out of doing things I don't want to do - like when I don't want to go to a particular party or attend a school function or meeting - I might say I have other plans or I am sick *cough cough*.
I've also told lies to my children.
Yes - I have.
I've told them that the Tooth Fairy comes at night and gives them money for their lost teeth.
I've told them that the Easter Bunny hops into our house on Easter morning - magically - and leaves large baskets of candy and eggs.
I've told them that dead armadillo tails are really the lost horns of unicorns.
And ... of course, I've told my children that a jolly fat elf named Santa Claus, will deliver toys and goodies on Christmas morning, if ... they are nice and not naughty children.
Now ...
I know that I am not alone in the telling of these fairy tale lies and I also know that I was lied to when I was a child about the very same tales (okay - maybe not the unicorn one - that one I lied about all on my own).
I also know ... that my husband grew up with these childhood lies - as well.
My husband is not - a liar.
He has never been one comfortable with telling any sort of lie and this is a good thing. I have to help him lie sometimes - tell the lie for him in those cases where he will just not be able to pull off the task himself.
But ... lying about Santa Claus is not something that very many parents - people - have any difficulty doing.
People - BILLIONS - have been telling this lie for HUNDREDS of years.
We - those people capable of telling this lie - those people that get the goodness of this lie - those people that care about keeping the magic that this lie provides GOING - do not have a problem telling this lie to our own children and even to other people's children. We tell it to EVERYONE and GLADLY.
But ...
Not my husband.
We are 16 years of telling this one lie - year after year - to our 4 children - and yet ...
At least 5 times during every Christmas season, I find myself running frantically into rooms to quickly cover something I over-hear my husband say to one of the children that, if divulged and understood by the child, would - give away - this wonderful Santa tradition in the On The Upside household.
At least 5 times during every Christmas season, I find myself running frantically towards a car trunk or garage door or a closet --- to quickly hide or disguise a present that my husband has mindlessly left un-disguised or un-hidden from gift-receiving-children in the On The Upside household.
I don't get it. I think it must be a man thing.
He will go out, buy something large that I have sent him out to buy (like a set of drums for his boy child that was on the boy's Christmas list to Santa), bring it home, carry the thing to the front door and stand right there and ask me - in front of the children - "Where should I put this?"
I swear!
On the upside ... It's good not to lie. It's good that my husband finds it difficult to lie. But ... he needs to start understanding this ... Christmas-is-an-ongoing-lie philosophy or ... I am going to beat him over the head with a unicorn horn until he is out cold ... put him under a pillow and leave a note for the Tooth Fairy to PICK HIM UP!!
Dear Tooth Fairy:
I know - he's not a tooth.
I know - he's really way too large to fit into your tooth bag or throw over your shoulder and carry out of my house.
But ... he's free - you can have him!
He makes a good helper for about 6 years and then it goes down hill after that. Take him and just pawn him off on someone else when the six years is up -- maybe the Easter Bunny or maybe Mother Nature could use him. Don't try to give him to Santa, though - he's a terrible elf.
Oh, and ... keep the unicorn horn - it might come in handy. I use it to wap him over the head.
And, while you're here ... please leave $10.00 for those last 10 teeth of Alexis' that you ... forgot to come by and get.
He's the sort of boy that has never shown a fear of wandering into the woods alone or racing his bike up a ramp that sends him flying into the air.
He likes fast motorcycles and go-carts.
He likes pellet guns.
He likes bows and arrows.
He likes chasing after animals and hiding in dark, scary places where no one will find him.
People have often commented that "Little Billy isn't scared of anything," and it is very true.
Not long ago, I was in my room working and I heard a noise on the roof.
I went out on the deck just off my second story bedroom.
I glanced up to the roof, held my hand in front of my face to block the direct sun from my eyes. I squinted and searched to see if I could spot one of our cats or squirrels making the noise above me. Suddenly ... between the sun and me ... I saw a small boy's silhouette standing on the peek of the house - two stories off the ground.
"Little Billy," I yelled.
"Yes, Mom," he answered casually.
"GET DOWN OFF THE ROOF!"
"Awwww, Mom," he grumbled, as he made his way back across the shingles and over to the tree he had used to elevate his tiny self to this escapade of danger.
He looked back over at me, "Can I have a hug?" he asked, knowing that maybe this request would soften his mother from beating the crap out of him.
"When you get down," I answered calmly.
On the upside ... I know -- this is not good -- on so many levels. But, this is not an uncommon occurrence for this boy child of mine. Sometimes, my mom will be at my house and she will suddenly announce, "Little Billy's on the roof," or "Little Billy's up in that tree - do you see him?" I know --- this is not good. But, this child is a dare-devil. I warn him to stay down from high places - I do! It scares me to death. But, I have to admit -- I also love the idea that he is a free spirit that follows the whims that entice him to live his life at accelerated speeds and exhilarating heights -- over a boy that is trapped in a life that brings him no joy or adventure.
I hugged the boy when he got down from the roof and I scolded loudly, "YOU'VE GOT TO STOP DOING THAT - YOU SCARE THE LIVING DAY LIGHTS OUT OF ME!"
He flashed his most charming James Bond smile and said, "Okay, Mom," and then went on his way.
Thank you for all the wonderful questions - WOW!!! I will do my best to answer all of them as honestly as I can. Here it goes ...
Jennwa asked:
1. What made you start blogging? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know!
2. Have you always known that you were good at writing stories? I was a horrible student. I was horrible in English. But ... I've always loved to write and have written in one form or the other - for years! I've always "believed" that I was a pretty good writer, but I never realized I was a good story-teller until I started my blog. I think I am a good verbal story-teller and didn't realize, until I started my blog, how easily it translated for me into writing as well. The type of writing I'd always done was novels and poems and journal-like writing. Before my blog, I'd never experimented with "story-telling" or trying various different techniques to tell a story. I'm finding that it comes pretty natural for me and I love it - "story-telling".
3. Why do you blog? I blog to write. I blog now, to tell my stories. I blog to document my children's lives, my life, my husband's life - all of our lives together.
4. What do you find is the best thing about blogging? There are A LOT of great things that come with blogging! The BEST thing about blogging for me is that I am able to be creative. I have always been creative and I am finding that blogging taps into those creative tendencies and I love that! It is very rewarding. I also love that I am documenting my children's lives!
Thanks for these great questions Jennwa!
Summer asked:
1. What is your favorite cheese? I love most any cheese, but I'd have to say I like Swiss the best.
2. Were you sicker with your twin pregnancy than with your others? I never had morning sickness or any other sort sickness with any of my pregnancies. The only negative side affects I had from the pregnancy with my twins (and all my pregnancies) was that I gained 92 lbs. (YEP!) and was not only fat, but UG-LY while I was pregnant.
3. What is it about Texas that elicits such state pride? I don't really know this answer, but maybe it goes back to Texas being a Republic before it became a state. Do you know that Texas is one (if not the only) state that is allowed to raise its flag at the same level as the American flag? Most states are required (?) to keep their flags below or at a lower level. Our kids even pledge the Texas flag in the mornings at school, right along with the American Flag. I personally think it has something to do with the sports - Dallas Cowboys and all and Texas A&M and UT College Football. I think our kids hear it so much on the Texas commercials (how great Texas is - bigger and better, etc.) and their parents believe this also - it's sort of ingrained in generation after generation. It goes way back and yet there are things today that definitely influence this pride.
Thanks Summer for these great questions!
Pam asked:
1. What is your favorite thing about hubby and each of your kids? It's hard to pick one thing about each of them, but I'll try. My favorite thing about Billy is that he is loved by everyone. I don't know anyone that would say he is not lovable and that does not love him. It makes me very proud to be married to someone like that! My favorite thing about Courtney is that Courtney is so smart - she is one of the smartest people I know - in every way! My favorite thing about Chloe is her sweet heart. She is more sensitive than she would admit to and has enough love for everyone! My favorite thing about Little Billy is his casual approach to life. He takes life as it comes and lives it in the moment. You always believe he is "content" and that is quite a fascinating quality and it rubs off on those around him. My favorite thing about Alexis is her desire to live LIFE! She does not want to miss out on anything and would be up for everything!
3. How did you meet hubby? We met right before Thanksgiving, 1983 in a country western dance hall. He saw me as I walked by, turned to his buddy and said, "That's the girl I'm going home with tonight." We've been together ever since. It was love at first sight. God put him right in my path and I was smart enough to recognize what a gift he was!
4. What is your dream vacation? My husband and I take many vacations, sometimes with the kids and sometimes not - so I love those we have taken. But ... my dream vacation would be to take a cruise to the Greek islands.
5. If you could no longer blog, what would you do to save your sanity? Before I blogged, I found ways to be creative. I made furniture for a while, I used to do lots of crafts, I've always invested a lot of time in landscaping and gardening in my yard, I've crocheted, cross-stitched, etc. I've always written too. I would go back to spending more time doing those types of things. And, of course, I'd continue to write.
Thanks Pam for these fun questions!
Kristi asked:
1.Of all of the blog posts you have made, what was your most favorite entry of all time? It's hard for me to pick my favorite, but I can tell you the recent ones that have been favorites of my readers: "What The ...?", "Sometimes I Just Don't Stack Up," "My Boy The Genius," "DQ Stands For ... You Obviously Don't Know Who You Are Dealing With," and "Where Is A Lacy Bra When I Need One?"
Marybeth asked:
1. What are your favorite three blogs to visit? I love a lot of blogs - and I read a lot of blogs - I DO! Now ... there are 3 great blogs that I used to read pretty regularly - Rocks in My Dryer and Woulda Coulda Shoulda and Oh The Joys, that I think are really great blogs, but I don't read them as much anymore just because I don't have the time. I do pop over to those 3 from time to time and visit - when I have time. I am pretty busy and pretty happy reading and visiting all the great moms and writers that I have become friends with! Those 3 I have mentioned are not my FAVORITES anymore, but I do like them! I don't have 3 favorites - I love all the blogs I visit for many different reasons - I DO!
The Vasquez3 asked:
1. What things are too personal to blog about? This is a good question. I think this is different for everyone, but for me - I don't think there are any subjects that I would not blog about, but I will always be very careful about my friends and family and their privacy. I would never tell a story or divulge information about the lives of anyone other than my family (Billy and my kids), unless it was just a simple funny story that I know will not hurt them. I have to say that there is not anything in my life that I would consider too personal - but there are subjects I will never write about. I have a few SEX posts in my drafts that one day - one day - I might just post - if and when I feel the timing is right. It's not the sort of thing I have a problem posting - it's just got to be the right timing. I consider timing with all of my posts.
2. Would you be willing to eat a bowl of live crickets for $50,000? YES I WOULD! $50,000 would help pay for a lot of college and I have twins fixing to go to college in 2 years. If you had said roaches - I'd definitely have said NO! Crickets I think I could do.
3. Which is more important to you: actual experiences or the memories that remain when the experiences are over? What a great question! I think the memories are more important. Your mind seems to have the ability to recognize and store details about specific moments that you aren't even aware of "in the moment" and when your mind recalls the event or day or moment and brings it forth - sometimes the specialness of that day or event is even sweeter than you remember it being. I think our minds have the ability to take more of it in and store the subtle things that our other senses are not aware of and do not appreciate.
Thank you Vasquez3 for these wonderful questions!
Holly asked:
1. Why did you start blogging? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know!
2. What is the big deal about Texas and Texan pride, etc.? I don't really know this answer, but maybe it goes back to Texas being a Republic before it became a state. Do you know that Texas is one (if not the only) state that is allowed to raise its flag at the same level as the American flag? Most states are required (?) to keep their flags below or at a lower level. Our kids even pledge the Texas flag in the mornings at school, right along with the American Flag. I personally think it has something to do with the sports - Dallas Cowboys and all and Texas A&M and UT College Football. I think our kids hear it so much on the Texas commercials (how great Texas is - bigger and better, etc.) and their parents believe this also - it's sort of ingrained in generation after generation. It goes way back and yet there are things today that definitely influence this pride.
3. What is your favorite kind of music to listen to? I love country music. I particularly like ballads.
4. Do you play any musical instruments? I took piano when I was younger for about 6 or 7 years. I can play the piano some, but I don't often play it.
Thanks Holly for these great questions!
Tricki Nicki asked:
1. What do you most like about being a Southerner? I have been in the South for 1/2 of my life, but I was not born here. I do consider myself a Texan now and what I like best about being a Texan/Southerner is the iced tea - we drink a bunch of iced tea!! No - I think southerners are known for being hospitable and nice and I believe that is true. I am proud of that reputation and I like being associated with that!
Thanks Nicki for this great question - I had to really think about this one?
Karen asked:
1. How long has your husband owned his own business? And how involved are you in it, if at all? My husband was an electrician when I met him and one all the way up until the year I became pregnant with my twins (1991). That year, he and I decided that if he was going to stay in the electrical trade he really needed to start his own Electrical Contracting business if he was going to be able to make a long-term living and retire one day. We started the business in June of 1991. I got pregnant in August 1991. Quit my job on Oct. 1, 1991. We started the business with $250.00 in the business checking account. We never (to this day) took out any loans to sustain the business - we just turned the money over and over back into the business and only took what we needed to live on. It was scary those first couple of years, but it always did well - from the day we started it. I handle the bookkeeping for the business and work in the office (attached to our house) several days a week, entering and paying bills, invoicing, taxes, etc. I am part owner of the business and get a pay check from the business. Billy really does all the real work! We've had our business for nearly 17 years. Little Billy talks about taking over Daddy's business one day. I say that is fine - after he goes to college.
2. What was your first reaction after you found out you were having twins? I believed I was having twins before I was actually told 4 months into my pregnancy. When I heard the news I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I felt blessed. It was sheer bliss!
3. How long have you been blogging? I published my first post on 8/23/07, so I've been blogging for 6 months.
4. Do you write anywhere other than your blog? Not yet! I'm working on that! And, thanks for saying that you would read if I did.
Thanks Karen for these great questions!
TheCynicalOptimist asked:
1. What is the worst heartbreak you have ever endured? In January of 1992 I was pregnant with my twins. Something happened that January that was a turning point in my life. It broke my heart in more ways than I ever imagined I could ever endure. It is something I can not go into, as it is very personal, but I am well on the other side of that time in my life and have grown stronger and happier because of what happened. It took many years.
2. If you could make one wish, what would it be? (not more wishes) Alexis said the other day that if she could make one wish on a wishing star that she would wish that EVERYBODY could have one wish - pretty darn smart - hoping she could cash in on their wishes, I think. My wish would be right now ... that my husband could retire. I think my children will make their way in the world - I do. I think I am at peace in my world. I would wish that he could stop working so hard - never have to work again. He works harder than anyone I have ever known in my life.
3. Do you believe in fate? (Fate: Something that unavoidably befalls a person). No I don't. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I believe our lives are in our hands and are dictated by the choices we make. I believe there are different paths our lives can take - depending on those choices. I think that there is an intended "straight" path - an "easier" path and our goal is to find our way back to that path in order to feel our life is balanced. I believe that God is on that "easier" path and that is the path we are intended to be on, but that he allows us to make choices that veer us off that path either drastically or just from time to time. I believe that the choices others make in their lives can cause ripples in our lives and when those ripples touch us, it is our duty to make sure we make the choices that will guide us back to the "straight" path. My life is not dictated by destiny - I believe there are many paths my life can take - that are avoidable and detectable.
4. If you could be blind or rich or deaf and poor, which would you choose? So the question to me is, would I choose sight or hearing? I would choose to loose my sight, I think. I've never honestly thought about this, but when I did, it came to me quickly. I would miss seeing the world and the faces of my loved ones ... but I think I truly treasure the sounds in my life more. The laughter - the songs - the voices. I would miss the voices more than the faces, I think. I can't think about missing the eyes, because that makes me want to cry.
5. What would be a dream career, besides raising your children? Definitely to be a published writer!
6. If a friend could sneak you the winning lottery numbers before they were drawn, would you take them? No. I totally believe that honesty is one the highest of human qualities. I pride myself on having always tried to live an honest life - I would be tempted - like anyone - but I would not do it.
7. You can only shop at ONE clothing store for the rest of your days -- which would it be? I know my family and friends would probably say that this answer would either be ROSS or Marshalls, but I would actually choose Steinmart - I love their clothes.
Thank you TheCynicalOptimist for these fabulous questions!
Hillary asked:
1. What is your favorite childhood memory? I can't narrow this down to just one, but I would have to say that the best childhood memories I have often have my grandfather in them. I am either at his house or on his farm. Most of my favoite memories take place on the farm that he so loved and I loved being there.
Jen asked:
1. What were you like in high school? (I'm picturing you running for class president). My sister and brother are having a good laugh over this question! No, I was not class president. I did not take school too seriously and only wanted to be there because my girl friends were there and for the BOYS!! I was an athlete at times (basketball, track, softball). I was heavy into art! I hung with lots of different crowds - the "pot heads" for a while, the "jocks" for a while, the "artsy" kids for a while, the "white kids that hung with the black kids" for a while ... I was a floater in high school. I was not lost - I was just a floater. Courtney is like that now and I love seeing how she is able to fit into so many different groups. Chloe too, just not as naturally. I always had lots of friends and lots of boy friends - I made sure of that.
2. Where have you met your 3 closest friends, how long have you known them and how often do you see/talk to them? I have 4 close friends that I met 20 years ago. We all worked for the same company and have stayed close ever since. One of those friends, I talk to nearly every single day and the other three, not as often, but we are especially close. The other friend that I am close to right now, is one that I met about 3 years ago. I was searching for her, found her, pursued her, made her love me and now I can't live without her in my life. We talk ever single day and see each other 2-3 times a week, at least. I love my friends!
3. What qualities do you look for in a friend? The most important quality I look for is that the person has to be REAL! I want the friendship to be easy and comfortable - no pretenses or weirdness. I don't want to have to figure you out or wonder what you are thinking. You need to be totally open to me and normal. I want it to be as easy with my friends as it is with my sister or brother - just easy and fun and pure. Don't be mean to me or hateful or jealous. Always give me the benefit of the doubt, like I would give you. Always have my back - no matter what. Laugh with me and talk about anything and everything and all the time. Be available and put me as a priority. These are all the things I try to be to my friends and I hope for the same from them.
Thank you Jen for these really great questions!
Angie asked:
1. What kind of schoolin' have you had (tried to sound Texan, but I think I just sound redneck)? After high school, I went to Junior College her in Texas for an Associates Degree in Business. I quit 3 courses short of getting that degree (all electives too) because I felt like I needed to go to work and found a great job. I ended up working for that same company for nearly 12 years, up until the time I became pregnant with my twins when I quit working to stay home with my kids.
2. Do you/have you ever worked outside the home? The answer above tells you what I did before I stayed home with my kids, but I do work now for my husband's Electrical Contracting company. I am the bookkeeper and I work about 2 days a week (not all day) and I am on the payroll. I'm really only on the payroll for tax reasons.
Thanks Angie for the great questions (and thanks for the tip about the site that will help me with this contest - I will probably do that)!
Katy asked:
1. Years from now when your children are grown up what do you WANT to do with your life? Not what are you going to do, but what would you WANT to do if you could choose anything? I would WANT to be traveling with my husband and writing. I'd love to be an established, published writer by then and be doing that until I die.
Thanks for the great question Katy!
Melissa asked:
What makes you happy? Right now, what makes me happy is when I get the true sense that I am raising a bunch of great kids! I think I am and that makes me really happy! Other than that - lots of things make me happy. There isn't much that makes me unhappy right now in my life. I generally have had a happy life and feel fortunate to say that I have always been quite content. I feel happy a lot!
Thanks for the great question Melissa! (I hope Hope is doing okay!!!!)
Bia asked:
Which cartoon character best describes you? That's easy - I think either the Roadrunner or Speedy Gonzales. They aren't Disney characters, but I choose these two because I move constantly and at the speed of light - I don't do anything slowly.
Which television show best describes your life: "Everyone Loves Raymond", "Desperate Housewives", "24" or "Survivor"? This is a great question. Desperate Housewives is way more drama than goes on in my everyday life, as is 24. I think Survivor is sort of representative of my life - because it often feels like I am trying to SURVIVE, but probably Everyone Loves Raymond is the closest. I say that because my family has often commented (my sister particularly) that I am the "Alpha" in the family and that is sort of like Raymond. I also have quite the cast of characters around me - all fun and funny!! We have our moments of drama and trauma - but, all in all - we're pretty much a normal suburban family that lives our lives around our families and have our moments of roaring laughter and happiness.
Thanks Bia for these 2 great questions!
Rachel asked:
1. What parts of being a mother do you enjoy the most? I never knew if I would really be a good mother. I do not think I am the best mother I could be, but I do a lot of things right and some things very wrong. The things I do right, I have worked hard at getting right and the best part of that is seeing the results of all that hard work. Seeing these children growing up to be loving, kind, respectful, smart, trustworthy, honest, dependable - you know - all those things you try so hard to instill in them. The older they all become, the more evident it is that there are so many things that I have done right and that is the most rewarding part. You don't believe you will ever feel that or see those results - really - but you do. And when you do ... it is a marvelous feeling!!!!
I also enjoy just being around my children - always being around them. Touching them. Hearing them. Seeing them. I don't like some of the work that goes with the raising of them - but I do love having them around!
Thanks Rachel for the great question!
Janice asked:
1. What is your number one most favorite thing about each of your kids? It's hard to pick one thing about each of them, but I'll try. My favorite thing about Courtney is that Courtney is so smart - she is one of the smartest people I know - in every way! My favorite thing about Chloe is her sweet heart. She is more sensitive than she would admit to and has enough love for everyone! My favorite thing about Little Billy is his casual approach to life. He takes life as it comes and lives it in the moment. You always believe he is "content" and that is quite a fascinating quality and it rubs off on those around him. My favorite thing about Alexis is her desire to live LIFE! She does not want to miss out on anything and would be up for everything!
2. Name one thing you have learned from each one of your kids. I love this question. From Courtney, I have learned laughter! She is funny and makes me laugh and she has made me want to laugh more and more and more! She has brought back into my life that sort of laughter that I used to experience as a kid - the kind that comes from seeing the humor in things. The kind that I had with my friends in school, where we searched out the laughter day after day. She is a gift! From Chloe I have learned humility. Chloe is my mirror. I reflect off of her and she me. It is like we are the same person sometimes. It's like I can see directly into her soul, she exposes herself to me so well. She doesn't know this - but it is there. I see myself in her and yet she is a better person than I will ever be! From Little Billy I have learned tolerance. His personality calms me (like his Daddy). He makes me want to slow down and enjoy life - look at the world and appreciate the moment. He is such a sweet boy! From my baby Alexis I have learned happiness. By her coming into my life - when she did- I think she has taught me to just be happy. Choose it and then ... roll around in it. That is what she does and that is how I feel in her presense - happy.
3. I think choosing your friends wisely is so very important, what do you tell you kids about choosing their friends? The one thing that my kids have experienced - too often - is friends that try to "use" them. I have tried to make them realize that "true" friends will do anything and everything to make sure you are happy and taken care of. If they step that line, once or twice, and something hurtful happens and you want to forgive them - that is good, but to be careful not to allow people - even friends - to mistreat you - "use" you - hurt you - make you feel sad. If they do that too often, without little regard for your feelings or wellbeing - then they are not a good friend and you should try to find other friends.
4. Who do you want to win American Idol? I love American Idol! I haven't made my mind up about this yet. I'll still have to watch for a while longer before I can decide.
5. Besides blogging and your kids, what do you do in your spare time? I don't have a lot of spare time. I am currently on the PTA board at my girls' high school, on a separate committee also at their school, I volunteer one day a week at Little Billy and Alexis' school, I work for my husband's business ... I'm pretty busy most of the time. We have a lake house that we all try to get away to when we can - on weekends and in the summer. When we are there, we ski and swim and eat out and go to movies and rent moves - have fun. If I'm home and have spare time - I like to go to lunch or shopping with my friends or go over to their house and just sit and have coffee or tea and talk.
Thanks so much Janice for these great questions!
Dawn asked:
1. If you watch Desperate Housewives, which housewife are you most like? What a fun question. I asked Courtney which one she thought and she said Lynette because she has twelve million kids and she is kind of crazy and because she is the coolest one (according to Courtney) and her husband is opening up his own business and my husband has his own business. I'd have to agree - I'm pretty darn cool (tee hee). Lynette - definitely.
2. What is your favorite place to be and why? In the winter, and right now - my favorite place to be is at home. I'm not always a home-body, but lately that is where I am drawn to and where I want to be. In the summer - my favorite place to be is at the lake (at our lake house), as that is where we have to most fun as a family. I love being there.
Thanks Dawn for these great questions!
Betsy asked:
What do you most fear? I've said this quite often over that past several years. Because I think I am a pretty strict mother and because I don't always think I am the best mother ... my greatest fear is that my kids will leave home one day and ... never come back to me.
Thanks Betsy for this great question!
Jenn @ Juggling Life asked:
1. If you could be anything other than what you are, what would it be? I really have never had ambition or dreams to be anything other than what I am - I am where and who I want to be. I'd simply love to add to the mix, at times. I've always longed to be a "real" writer - so I'd definitely add that to the mix. I'd love to do something in my life that meant something - you know - something big and important and meaningful (other than raising my 4 wonderful children). I'd like to be that person that put forth that extra effort or came up with some brilliant idea that solved some huge problem or worry - like the cure for cancer or world peace or poverty and hunger. I long to feel like "I mattered" in this world sometimes and if I could contribute in some big way that was important - I think that would be my untimate fantasy!
Thanks so much Jenn for this great question!
Amanda asked:
1. You sound like a great mom who really has her life balanced; household stuff, teenagers, slightly younger son, little daughter, blogging. I hardly get anything done and I only have one toddler. How long did it take for your family to find this balance? This is a nice compliment Amanda, but I do not always feel balanced. I have found that the longer I have had kids, the easier the balance is to find, though. It's just like anything, I guess - you begin to see the problems or issues and look for ways to solve them. I am also quite the "control freak" and totally live by "there is a place for everything and everything has its place". As crazy as that can make people around me - it does lend itself to a pretty organized life. I believe whole-heartedly that I live an organized life and that helps keep things in a little more balance. Chaos begets chaos - it does! Plus, I also get a lot of help now around my house from my kids. My teenager's first priority is their school work and sports, but I do expect them to do a certain amount of chores - Little Billy and Alexis too. That helps with the housework, some. And ... my husband is always willing to pick up any slack that I can't handle myself - like taking kids to basketball practice or stopping by the grocery store for milk and bread. I'd have to say that Billy contributes A LOT to the success of our busy lives!! He always has! I don't do it ALL on my own - NOT EVEN! It does get easier with time though.
Thanks Amanda for this great question!
Kelly asked:
1. What kind of jobs have you had in the past? Before I had kids, I worked as a waitress, I worked as a cashier in a grocery story, I worked at Dunkin Donuts, I worked as receptionist and then I worked as an Account Manager in the Credit and Collections department of a large computer manufacturing company for nearly 12 years, right before I had my kids. I now work with my husband in our own business - I am the bookkeeper.
2. If you could travel anywhere, where would it be? At different times - this answer would be different. But, overall I would love to go to the east coast of the U.S., Hawaii, Greece, England, Australia, Switzerland and Japan. That's just how I feel today. Ask me tomorrow and I might have totally different answers.
3. What is your favorite song? For the past several years, my favorite song has been "Believe" by Brooks and Dunn. I love that song!
Thanks Kelly for all the great questions!
Steph asked:
1. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be and why. At different times - this answer would be different. But, overall I would love to go to the east coast of the US, Hawaii, Greece, England, Australia, Switzerland and Japan. That's just how I feel today. Ask me tomorrow and I might have totally different answers. Now, why? I've never been to some of these places or haven't been for many years and would just love to go and see them.
Thanks Steph for this great question!
Queen of My Domain asked:
1. Which of your children do you see yourself in the most (not looks mind you but mannerisms)? I think my twins are the most like me. They are also a lot alike too. But, they don't share all the same quirky things - they like split my quirky things between them. Chloe is a lot like me in her "common sense" approach to life and Courtney tends to be a "control freak" more - just like me. They are also very loud and I can definitely be very loud. They are very out-going, more so than me, but they get that from me more than their father. They are also equally as stubborn and opinionated and they definitely get that from me. It would be both Courtney and Chloe - but probably Chloe, if I had to choose one.
2. What does your family think of your blogging and do they ever read your posts? My husband is always looking over my shoulder to see what I am writing or reading, but he never goes on my sight on his own (that I know of). And I often sit in bed at night and read the stories to him - just so he knows the sorts of things I am writing about - he gets a kick out of that. My kids don't read my posts, except every now and then Courtney and Chloe will get on and read one after the other to sort of get caught up. They do love hearing about something I posted "that day" and will ask me what my post was about that day. My mother, dad, sister and brother-in-law, read pretty much everyday and sometimes one of them will even leave a comment. My family is still trying to figure out what I am doing. They all seem to enjoy the stories and get a kick out of me being able to come up with the stories and write them - but, I think they are not all totally "clear" on why I BLOG - you know. They are very tolerant though and realize that it makes me happy and is something I want to do - so they totally support me.
3. What is the one thing that is always guaranteed to put you in a good mood? Without a doubt - if I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror and see that yesterday's hair - is good to go!!! If I have to mess with my hair in the morning too much - it can put me in the worst mood for a while. Also - If I am in a bad mood, if my husband shows me kindness or gives me a smile - that always softens me right up!
Thanks so much Queen of My Domain for these great questions!
Tommie asked:
1. How old were you when you got married? I was 22 years old.
2. Where was your favorite place to live growing up? I loved when we lived in Virginia, but I'd have to say my favorite place was Germany.
3. What is one thing you want to do before you leave this earth? The one thing I want to know before I leave this earth is that all of my children are settled in their lives and truly happy. The one thing I'd want to do - that I honestly think I could achieve - is to be a published writer. I'd also like to reach the point where my husband and I are at the point where we have slowed down enough in our lives that we return to that relationship we had prior to having kids - the one where we held hands a lot, kissed a lot, looked into each others eyes a lot, held each other a lot, had sex a lot and all we had to do all day was be in love!
4. What is your favorite place to eat? We have a Mexican restaurant here called Pappasitos - that is definitely my favorite place!
Thanks so much Tommie for these great questions!
Kaci asked:
1. What is your favorite fruit? This is not an easy question - I thought it was until I really started to try and answer it. I guess, if I have to choose one, I'd say grapes (Concord).
McSwain asked:
1. What's your guilty pleasure? I'd definitely have to say chocolate, but I also love TV. I always have to have a TV on with some sort of chocolate nearby. Coffee too - with Hazelnut creamer.
Thanks McSwain for this fun question!
Mama Meji asked:
1. What was the worst thing you did as a wife? The only thing I can think of is when I got really mad at my husband one year for not buying me a Birthday present - I got in my car and left. I stayed away from the house for hours and was so angry (this was many years ago) ! I wanted so badly to leave that night and never come back - but I really had nowhere to go, so I came home. It was an awful night and it was just me being a big ol' baby! He didn't deserve any of it! Other than that, I am sometimes pretty demanding and could honestly say that I do something every single day that makes me a "not-so-great" wife.
2. What is the worst thing you ever did as a parent? When my twins were about 3 years old, I got angry and grabbed Courtney by the arm. She walked around for about a days with a little gimpy arm and I was so worried and heart-broken that I had really hurt her. It was on that day that I decided that I would never be a parent that used my hands to discipline my children. yanking is one thing I hate to see a parent do to their little child and I tried to never do that again. I've done it once or twice or three times - over the years - but, I am always ashamed when I do it!
3. What was the BEST thing you did as a wife? On my husband and my 20th wedding anniversary, I threw ourselves a party and invited lots of our friends. I spent weeks trying to find my husband the perfect gift. I decided to secretly buy him a Corvette (something I knew he would love - duh) and gave it to him on the night of our anniversary party. He was surprised and very pleased, but it made me feel wonderful because it was my way of showing him how much I love him and how important he is in my life. Not that I "gave" him a car - but that I went to the trouble and he never expected me to do something like that for him.
4. What is the BEST thing you ever did as a parent? I'd like to be able to say that it was introducing them to God - and I have done that, but not to the best of my ability - like my parents did for me. I'd have to say, so far, the best thing is that I have tried to instill in each of my children to be the "best" they can be - at school, as friends and as people. I think I've done a good job at this, as they are all really great people!
Thank you Mama Meji for these great questions!
N8 asked:
1. What size shoe do you wear? (so when you decide to give away some of those shoes, I will kow if they fit me). I wear an 8 1/2, but sometimes I can fit in an 8 and sometimes a 9 - so I have all 3 sizes in my closet - mostly 8 1/2.
2. What would you never ever blog about? I would never blog about any of my friend's or my family's lives - not details - only an occasional story that I know would not hurt them. I would never blog about politics - it just doesn't interest me to get into that sort of heated discussion. I would never blog about some stories in my life that are too personal to me.
3. What is your favorite song from high school? This one isn't easy - as high school was a long time ago, but probably "Stairway to Heaven". I listened to Queen, Chicago, America, The Eagles, Aerosmith - those types of bands - that tells you how old I am and more.
4. What is your middle name? My middle name is Renee. Kellan Renee.
5. What is your most embarrassing moment? I really don't have one embarrassing moment that stands out in my life - that's weird, I know. I'm a "control freak" and we tend to be the type of people that try very hard not to put ourselves into situations where something embarrassing will happen (HA!). Day to day, the thing that embarrasses me the most is when I can't remember someone's name - I am awful at recalling names and it happens all the time - I hate that!
Thanks Christina (N8) for these great questions!
Kelli asked:
1. Where did your name "Kellan" come from? I happen to love my name, so I am always happy to answer this question. My mother had a friend in high school that had the name Mary Kellan and that is where my name came from. My name is Kellan Renee, though. I have a cousin that had a little girl at the same time I had my twins (15 years ago) and named her daughter Mary Kellan - I was so jealous that I hadn't thought to use the name for one of my girls - I love it. They call her Mary-Kellan.
2. What is your middle name? Renee is my middle name.
3. Have you always lived in Texas? if not, where else? No. My dad was in the Army, so we moved a lot when I was growing up. I was born in West Virginia and have lived in Michigan, Colorado, Virginia (twice), Texas (twice) and Germany. I ended up in Texas in 1978 and have lved here ever since.
Thanks Kelli for these great questions!
My Goodness asked:
1. I want to know if you potty trained your boy like you trained your girls ... what was your technique? He was harder to train than my girls and I don't know if it is because he was a boy or because he was my "second" child. It took longer (he was nearly 3 and my girls trained about 14 months). I used a lot of tricks to try to get him trained, like bribing him and reward charts. He finally trained at almost exactly his 3rd Birthday and I think he was the one that made that decision and it had little to do with me by that point.
2. What are 5 of your biggest pet peeves? I can't stand to see or hear someone smacking their lips when they eat or chew gum! I don't like prentious people. I don't like jealousy - to see it or feel it or be on the butt-end of it! I don't like dropping things - it drives me crazy! And, I don't like to see or experience unfairness!
Thanks Tina (My Goodness) for these great questions!
Laura asked:
1. I would love to know more about your twins story. I really want to share their story and I am going to answer this question in a separte post (soon).
2. Why did you start your blog? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know! I started it to have somewhere where I could write daily.
3. What do you like about blogging? There are A LOT of great things that I like about blogging! The BEST thing about blogging for me is that I am able to be creative. I have always been creative and I am finding that blogging taps into those creative tendencies and I love that! It is very rewarding. I also love that I am documenting my children's lives! I also like meeting all the other bloggers - great writers and mothers!!
4. What do you dislike about blogging? Honestly ... I don't like how competitive it can sometimes feel. I don't like the amount of time it consumes and that I can't visit everyone I'd really like to visit. I don't like that I don't understand so much about the technical stuff. I don't like how people that don't "blog" - DON'T GET IT! I don't like - sometimes - how much I LOVE it!
Thanks so much Laura for these great questions!
Regina asked:
1. When you get to heaven (and I love that she believes I WILL go to heaven), if you can ask God ONE question, what would it be? This is a GREAT question, because I totally believe in God and believe that one day I will stand in front of Him. This question is also not that hard for me, I would ask him, "How did I do?" I totally believe that life is a "test" and we are "tested" every single day. I believe that we all try to do our best at living our lives and I would want to know, in God's opinion - how I did. Was I a good person? Did I live a good life? Did I not waste the gift? It would be an interesting answer for me, as I feel I have lived a good life and have embraced the gift!
Thanks Regina for the GREAT question!
The Boyds Family asked: (Thanks for the really nice comment, by the way!)
1. Do you have a nickname? If so, what is it and how did you get it? I really don't. My grandfather and my father often call(ed) me Kelly, but they are the only ones that do. My sister and brother and mother often call me Kel. Some folks, behind my back, call me "The Whip" and think I don't know this - but I do.
2. Where do you get all these great pictures that go so perfectly with your posts? I didn't always put specific pictures with my posts - early on. When I decided to start doing that, I found that I LOVED it! It was a part of blogging that I found that really tapped into my creative side and it has been so much fun trying to find the perfect picture. Sometimes I can't. I find most of them on Google Image or Yahoo Image. You just have to search and search sometimes, but they are fun to look for!
3. What is your favorite movie and why? I tend to really like movies that have a dark setting and are set in some place interesting like New Orleans or Fargo. Fargo is one of my favorite movies. Interview with a Vampire is one of my favorite movies. The Big Easy, I love too. I like LOTS of movies and mostly I think I like them for the setting and the dialect. I love a New Orleans or Fargo or English or Australian accent and also if the movie exposes the culture or particulars about the "setting". I think the setting - the background - the surroundings ... play a big part in any story - they are a character of their own and I love Interview with a Vampire because of the setting and that movie made me believe in Vampires and I liked the story a lot. I liked "The Others" too, because it was a great story and a dark setting. I like a lot of dramas - those are my favorite type of movie. I love the movie "Delores Claiborne" because of the setting and the acting and the story. Lots of people are not drawn to dramas and lots of people are not drawn to dark movies - I love them the most!
4. Who is your favorite author? I have never been much of a reader. I know, it's not common for those that love to write - not also to love to read. I do like to read and have read lots of books, but I don't LOVE it. I think the main reason is because I don'tt have the patience for reading - the patience to invest the time into a book. I don't sit for very long doing any one thing and reading requires a lot of sitting. I've never been one to SIT. I wish I was and could settle my "self" enough to sit and enjoy reading - but it is not in my personality. I have to be in motion, most of the time. I don't have a favorite author for these reasons. Somehow, not being a "dedicated" reader myself - I have still managed to instill in my kids the love of reading - my kids love to read and be read to! I DO believe it is important and a gift! (I am most fascinated by Steven King).
5. How do you find the time to be such a wonderful wife, terrific mommy, awesome friend (because I'm SURE you are!) and outstanding blogger? First, let me say that I do not think I am always a wonderful wife or terrific mommy. These are my two most important roles in my life and the areas I try to focus on the most and I find MANY areas where I fail at. I am constantly aware of my failures or faults and try my best to change or correct those things daily. I'm becoming a better mother as the years go by - but I am NOT the best mother or wife. I think I am a GREAT friend though. As long as you are a good friend to me - I find it easy to be a good friend to you. I think I know what makes a good friend and it comes easily for me to give all to my friendships and do whatever it takes to shelter those friendships. As far as being an "outstanding" blogger (thanks). I tend to be a very focused person. I am very organized and driven. I approached blogging like I approach most things I do in my life and that is with lots of energy and ambition. Once I found (quickly) that I loved it, I immediately began investing in it and that meant that I started to try to learn as much as I could (quickly) and then did my best to try to figure out ways to form it into what I wanted it to be. For me - I wanted it to be the "best" I could make it - I still do. I am always looking for ways to do it and make it better. I am always looking for ways to write better and be more interesting. I find that some of it comes easily to me and some of it doesn't and what doesn't, I work hard at figuring out. It all takes a lot of time - to balance it all - I have sacrificed a lot of sleep in order to have my blog and become a better blogger - I have. But, I get plenty of sleep.
Thanks so much The Boyds Family for these GREAT questions!
Joanna asked:
1. How did you meet your husband? We met right before Thanksgiving, 1983 in a country western dance hall. He saw me as I walked by, turned to his buddy and said, "That's the girl I'm going home with tonight." We've been together ever since. It was love at first sight. God put him right in my path and I was smart enough to recognize what a gift he was!
2. How do find time to balance everything? I have found that the longer I have had kids, the easier it becomes to find a balance. It's just like anything, I guess - you begin to see the problems or issues and look for ways to solve them. I am also quite the "control freak" and totally live by "there is a place for everything and everything has its place". As crazy as that can make people around me - it does lend itself to a pretty organized life. I believe whole-heartedly that I live an organized life and that helps keep things in a little more balance. Chaos begets chaos - it does! Plus, I also get a lot of help now around my house from my kids. My teenager's first priority is their school work and sports, but I do expect them to do a certain amount of chores - Little Billy and Alexis too. That helps with the housework, some. And ... my husband is always willing to pick up any slack that I can't handle myself - like taking kids to basketball practice or stopping by the grocery store for milk and bread. I'd have to say that Billy contributes A LOT to the success of our busy lives!! He always has! I don't do it ALL on my own - NOT EVEN! As far as fitting in the things I want to do for myself - like blogging or gardening or whatever - I just do everything else REALLY FAST so I can squeeze in time for me.
3. What does your family think of you blogging? My husband is always looking over my shoulder to see what I am writing or reading, but he never goes on my sight on his own (that I know of). And I often sit in bed at night and read the stories to him - just so he knows the sorts of things I am writing about - he gets a kick out of that. My kids don't read my posts, except every now and then Courtney and Chloe will get on and read one after the other to sort of get caught up. They do love hearing about something I posted "that day" and will ask me what my post was about that day. My mother, dad, sister and brother-in-law, read pretty much everyday and sometimes one of them will even leave a comment. My family is still trying to figure out what I am doing. They all seem to enjoy the stories and get a kick out of me being able to come up with the stories and write them - but, I think they are not all totally "clear" on why I BLOG - you know. They are very tolerant though and realize that it makes me happy and is something I want to do - so they totally support me.
4. How do you know what to share and what not to share? My blog is not one that offers a daily "look" into my life (that is one of the reasons I did the Q&A). I post daily "stories" about specific moments or conversations that go on in my life. I don't have many stories that I have written that I have had to decide whether or not to post (I have a few). I write my stories based on something that is said or something I have seen. When a moment happens, I write the story and then put it in my drafts. I pull stories from my drafts - usually. Sometimes I will post a story that I wrote just the day before because of the timing, but usually I pull a story from my drafts and post it according to what I want to say that day. I don't often have to think about the content of my daily post, because it is simply a matter of whether I want to talk about Billy that day or the twins or Alexis or whatever. It's not based on content as much as I feel like I am a "story-teller" and so I offer a differnt story every day. I do not write anything that I do not intend to share - some day.
Thanks so much Joanna for these great questions!
Frog Ponds Rock (Kim) asked:
1. What is your favorite flower? My favorite flower is the state flower of Texas - the Bluebonnet. I love it for it's color and when it grows wild in the spring (everywhere) it is a sight to behold!
2. Have you traveled out of America? Yes! My dad was in the Army and so we lived in Germany for 3 years (1976-1978). While living there - our parents dragged up to every country that surrounds or is near Germany. I've been to a lot of Europe, but we never made it to Greece or England when I lived there. I've been to Canada, The U.S. Virgin Islands, Grand Caymen, Jamaica, Mexico - lots of places on crusies (we've been on 9 cruises). I love traveling and visiting new places.
3. What do you enjoy cooking? This is another question my family is getting a good laugh over! I do not like to cook. I don't mind baking sometimes, but I'm not that fond of baking either! I love good food, but HATE to cook and find NOTHING enjoyable about cooking!
4. What are you reading at the moment? I started reading Eragon (my kids talked me into it) a while back, but have put it down and haven't picked it up since. That is the last book I started. I'm not really reading any book at the moment.
5. What is your favorite color? Green is my favorite color - like sage green.
Thanks Kim for all these great questions!
Tammy asked:
1. Who was your hero growing up? I would say my grandfather. I admired him, I looked up to him, I respected him, I wanted to be near him - I loved him very much!
2. Who is your hero now? My children are my heros now - particurlary my twins. I am vicariously living my life through them. I love everything about how they are living their lives!!
3. How do you think your life would be different if your twins and six year old were boys and your ten year old was a girl? Oh, this is a good question! I truly believe having more girls - has made me a better person and a better woman. I'm not sure I (personally) would have experienced that if I had had more boys than girls. It would be fun to know what I would be like - what our lives would be like if there was more boys than girls. I always wanted girls (but was so HAPPY to have that sweet boy thrown into the mix)! I don't honestly believe I would be as good a woman (ME personally) if I hadn't had all these daughters!
4. What's your favorite all time movie and why? I tend to really like movies that have a dark setting and are set in some place interesting like New Orleans or Fargo. Fargo is one of my favorite movies. Interview with a Vampire is one of my favorite movies. The Big Easy, I love too. I like LOTS of movies and mostly I think I like them for the setting and the dialect. I love a New Orleans or Fargo or English or Australian accent and also if the movie exposes the culture or particulars about the "setting". I think the setting - the background - the surroundings ... play a big part in any story - they are a character of their own and I love Interview with a Vampire because of the setting and that movie made me believe in Vampires and I liked the story a lot. I liked "The Others" too, because it was a great story and a dark setting. I like a lot of dramas - those are my favorite type of movie. I love the movie "Delores Claiborne" because of the setting and the acting and the story. Lots of people are not drawn to dramas and lots of people are not drawn to dark movies - I love them the most! I also loved "The Hours"! I'd have to say my most favorite is "Interview with a Vampire" - I could watch it over and over and over again. I know - a little weird. I think I was a vampire in another life.
5. If you could have lunch with one person from any point in time, past or present, who would it be? It would be Jesus.
Thank you Tammy for the fabulous questions!
Becky asked:
1. How many people view your blog a day? I have anywhere from 150 - 250 view my blog in a day, depending on the day of the week. Generally it is about 200 - 225 or so.
2. How long does it typically take you to write out a post? Typically, about 1/2 an hour. I always work from a note I have jotted down (something Alexis said, something I saw, etc.) and I sit down with that note and if the story is there, it will come out very easily. If it is not "really" a good story, I will realize that pretty quickly and abandon it quickly. I don't force a story that "does not want to be told". Usually I know the moment I hear or see something that I can make a story out of it and the story comes easily. I don't search for stories, I watch for them to happen and make sure I jot down the moment (I always carry a pad with me). When I have time to write, I review my little jotted down notes (usually something very short that simply reminds me of the moment or conversation) and start to write. I try to shape my stories a little differently - and usually that comes easily as well, from the first word I put on the page. It is usually that beginning that will determine if the rest of the story works or not for me. I have come to believe that if the story was meant to be told, it will unfold easily and that has worked so far. Usually I spend about 1/2 the time editing (changing words or format).
3. How do you remember all the people you comment on your blog? I think you are asking, how do I remember them "personally". This is not always easy. I don't have a problem remembering their blog or their names with their faces or the blogger themselves. I don't have a problem really remembering some of the details of their lives - like where they live or what they do if they work or something about their husbands. What I have the most trouble with is remembering how many kids they have and their kids' names. I guess that is hard for everyone, as we have a bunch of kids amongst us!! I also sometimes find that I think I know something and realize I didn't or was wrong about something and that will throw me. I try very hard to really get to know all my visitors on some level. I usually read their profile and at least a few posts if I've never met them before, so I will feel like I know them a bit when/if they come back and visit me again.
4. Do you prefer gold or silver? In jewelry, I am split right down the middle - I wear both and love both. I also have gold and silver frames and such in my house, but I prefer silver. I'd say I am really more drawn to silver.
5. Do you do a lot of entertaining? I don't ever do formal enteraining! We often have friends or family around and do that sort of entertaining. We don't have parties often, but we have had many parties over the years. I do entertain a lot of kids - there is always some bunch of teenagers in my house (like right now, there are 2 of my girls' friends over and last night there were 2 also). I like having lots of people around and am the most comfortable when I am surrounded by friends or family.
Thanks Becky for all these great questions!
Baby-Amore' asked:
1. Have you ever had a caravan/trailer holiday? Not since I was a kid and we had a pull along RV that our family used for a short while to travel. I love the idea!
2. What is the best advice about raising twins anyone ever gave you? Without a doubt - keep them on one schedule!
3. Have you ever been or will you ever visit Australia? No, I 've never been, but I'd love to visit!! I'm hoping one day to visit on my book tour (tee hee)!
4. Do your children like you blogging about them? I think they love it! They often want to read or have me read the stories I write and they seem to enjoy them. Alexis and Little Billy aren't aware of all of the stories I have written about them, but those they become aware of, they are so proud - like they feel special that I would take the time to write about them. My twins get a kick out the stories I write about them because they think they are so funny and so they don't find it surprising that I would want to document their "funniness"! None of them seem worried that I would write anything they wouldn't like and I think that is because they KNOW I wouldn't.
5. What is the most embarrassing thing your twins ever did or said? I honestly can't think of anything they have ever done that was embarrassing - I can think of thousands of things they have done that have made me proud, though!
Thank you Baby-Amore' for all these great questions!
JCK asked:
1. Do you have a certain time of day that you blog? No. I blog all day long. If I have somewhere to go - I go - and then when I get back I blog. If I have chores to do - I do them - and then I sit back down and I blog. I do it all day long, from the moment I wake up, until the moment I go to bed. I do LOTS of other stuff inbetween, but I seldom just sit and do nothing - I usually blog. It's crazy - I know!
2. What does your husband think about your blogging? He induldges the time it takes. He likes to hear the stories. He hopes that all the time and energy I have invested will result in something other than blogging - I think. He knows that I enjoy it and so that makes him happy that I have found this thing that I love so much.
3. When did you know that you loved to write? I've always believed that I was a "good" writer, but I didn't know that I loved to write until right after I was pregnant with my twins, quit my job and stayed home (over 16 years ago). I was looking for an "outlet" for myself when I became a SAHM and found writing. I've written in one form or another ever since. Until blogging, it has only ever been for myself.
Thanks JCK for the great questions!
Natalie asked:
1. What do you consider your greatest accomplishment in life? Really - having snagged and held onto such a great man for 23 years! He has been the greatest gift in my life and having such a solid and wonderful marriage and such a great partner, friend and husband is an accomplishment I had hoped for in my life, but never really knew I could accomplish or sustain - does anyone?
2. Were their names you just loved when you were thinking of your children's names, but your husband hated them and you didn't get to use them? My husband "let" me name all the girls and was adamant about naming our son after himself (he's a Jr.). I would have loved to have had say-so in the naming of our son, as there were so many great names I wanted - but, I felt it was only fair. He had no preferences or objections when it came to naming the girls, he just left it up to me. It worked out nicely for me.
3. How did you meet your best female friend? All of my closest friends - I worked with. We all worked together at the same company year ago. We've stayed close ever since. I have other close friends that I have made over the past several years and the one I am closest too right now I met through my twins. My twins and her daughter are very close and I met her through school functions and such and we have become great friends!
4. What is your dream car? Well ... I've been driving a van for over 16 years - so I just dream about driving any car that is not a VAN! I'm a big TransAm, Firebird, Camero fan - I'd take anyone of those cars as a convertible and white.
5. What do your favorite pair of pajamas look like? Right now I am attached to a stupid pair that are like a pair of capri pants and tank top - they are lime green and bright pink and have Betty Boop all over them - they are ridiculous!
Thanks so much Natalie for these great questions!
Family Adventure (Heidi) asked:
1. Do you write blog posts in advance, or do you sit down to write a new post every single day? I write the story when it comes to me and then store it in my drafts. I probably have about 40-50 stories right now, saved in my drafts. I am always watching and listening for a story and when I hear or see something that I think will make a good story, I jot down a note about the incident and keep it in a file. When I have time to write, I will pull all my notes and see if there are any stories to be told from the notes I made. Sometimes, something happens and I run right away to my computer to write a story, because it hits me as being a particularly good story and I feel the need to write it right then. I won't necessarily post it the next day, though, usually it goes into my drafts and I hold it to post when the timing feels right. Some days I write 3 or 4 stories. Some days I don't write any. Many days go by where I don't write a story. Sometimes I wonder if another story will ever come - and yet they always do. I have lots of ideas in my "idea" folder and sometimes I pull that file and try to make a story out of one of those ideas that didn't seem like a good idea before. Some of the ideas will never be a story and some of them will be a story one day. I find that the story is either "there" to be told, or it isn't. I never force a story - it either comes easily or it doesn't. If it doesn't - I abandon the idea quickly and try to move on to another idea or walk away from trying to write a story at all. If I try to force it - it is NEVER a good story! And ... I NEVER try to search for story ideas. I have found that if the story is meant to be told - it will FIND me and hit me in such a way that I know it immediately. Not every funny or touching moment makes for a good story - no matter how hard I try to make it!
2. How much time do you spend commenting on other blogs on any average day? It's a lot of time. Everyday is different, but I'd say it's anywhere from 5-6 hours or more. I devote a lot of time to building up a relationship between myself and other bloggers/mothers/writers and feel it requires a lot of time and dedication to do that (you know!)! I have tried to find ways to do it as effeciently as I can, because I don't always have the same amout of time in one day, as I might have had on another. I usually do it early in the morning and late in the evening - not all day long - usually.
3. Do you expect your younger daughter to be close to her older twin sisters when they grow up? Why or why not? I think once my twins leave for college, there will be a time where she won't be very close to them. I think they will be close (I hope) when the twins are settled into their careers/marriages and have time again for Alexis. I think they will enjoy having a younger sister around - once they reach an age that they will be able to appreciate that youth and what she has to offer. I plan to do whatever I can to encourage all my kids to always try to be close to each other.
Thanks Heidi for all these great questions!
Forgetfulone asked:
1. What is the proper blogging etiquette when someone posts a comment on your blog? Comment them in return? Do nothing? I think this all depends on what kind of blogger you are and what your goal is. If you want to build a relationship with other bloggers or a larger readership, then I think it helps when you respond to their comments by leaving a comment on their blog. If you are a blogger that has no interest in building relationships or readership - then, it makes sense that you would not be interested or expected to answer a comment by leaving a comment. I don't think there is a "proper blogging etiquette" - I think it is what works for your own individual blog. There should not be rules, as everyone's blog is THEIR own individual space. I personally respond to anyone that leaves a comment - with a comment, because I think it shows that I am as determined to be as loyal a reader to your blog as you are to mine. I think that responding to comments with comments is a tool - to connect you to other bloggers. Everyone should feel free to use that tool anyway they want - no rules.
2. Do you write for a living? (other than blogging) No I don't. I never have.
3. Besides your own, what is one blog you just have to read everyday? I love a lot of blogs - and I read a lot of blogs - I DO! Now ... there is 1 great blog that I used to read pretty regularly - Woulda Coulda Shoulda - that I think is a really great blog, but I don't visit as much anymore just because I don't have the time. I do pop over from time to time and visit - when I have time. I am pretty busy and pretty happy reading and visiting ALL the great moms and writers that I have become friends with! I really don't have ONE that I have to read everyday - I have LOTS that I have to read everyday - and LOVE IT!
4. Does anyone in your family read your blog? Yes. My mom, dad, sister and BIL read it everyday. I have some extended family that also read it from time to time (cousins, uncles and aunts).
The Dragonfly asked:
1. Living in the South, do you miss the seasons? Autumn is my favorite season ... where you live do the leaves ahnge color etc.? I do miss the seasons. I love the snow and we never get snow here (we have, but it is rare). Our trees change color in the Fall, but unless you are in an area (like the hill country), you don't notice it. In the hill country it is beautiful and there are areas of Texas that are known for the beautiful fall display and people drive there to see the hills and trees change color.
2. As a mom of 4 you've had many different experiences with parenting. What is one thing you'd recommend I make an effort to do with my son while he's still small? I know you are reading to your son - so I won't say that. I think all of my children are very confident. If I had to say one thing I think I did right with my children, I'd say that - that I somehow helped them build tremendous confidence. Confidence will serve you well in life and I believe it is essential to success of every kind! But, it has to be a humble confidence - not one that is flaunted or misused. There is a fine line and that is hard to teach. Find a way to teach your child to be as confident as he can be - that would be my advise. If they have complete confidence in themselves and are taught to use that trait wisely - they will figure EVERYTHING else out on their own and all you have to do is guide them - not drag them or pull them or them following others - into life.
Thank you The Dragonfly for these great questions!
Thank you Kim! I wish we did live right next door to each other too!
Rachel asked:
1. If you had one day to do anything you wanted with no consequences, no restrictions - nothing - what would you do? I take over the world and I'd try to fix - really fast - all the things I THINK are wrong in the world!
2. If your life were a novel, what would the name be and what would the first and last lines in it say? If my life were a novel it would be titled, "An Ordinary Life". The first line would read, "She was a beautiful baby," and the last line would read, "It was an ordinary life, but anyone would consider themselves lucky to have lived a life such as this."
3. If you could give your children just one piece of advice that would actually stick, what would it be. I would advise them to spend lots of time idenitifying their potential and NEVER waste, not even one second, at developing and utilizing that potential to do good things in their lives, with their lives and in the lives of others.
Thank you Rachel for these really great questions!
One Scrappy Gal asked:
1. Did you think The Smurfs were creepy? HA! I don't I ever DID, but I DO now that I think about it.
2. Have you ever tried to lick your elbow? Yes.
3. What is one of your most embarrassing stories? Something humilitating that you suffered at the hands of one of your children? This is about the 3rd time I've been asked to remember some sort of embarrassing story and I honestly can't recall any - not even at the hands of my children. That's weird right? Like nothing strange or unpredictible ever happens to me. I guess it does - but no stories stand out as being all that embarrassing. Sorry - I have searched and searched my brain and I can think of nothing.
4. Tell the truth ... did you participate in hands across America? Or did you leave a gap, you heathen? No I did not participate - I left a gap.
5. What's your favorite pie filling? I'd have to say either pumpkin or pecan - maybe blackberry.
Thanks so much One Scrappy Gal for the great questions!
Jenng asked:
1. You mentioned church dresses, do you attend a specific church regularly? Yes I do. I grew up Baptist, but my family and I have been attending a Methodist church for the past year or so - pretty regularly.
Thanks Jenng for the great question!
Sting asked:
1. I would like to know how you and your hubby met and how he proposed? We met right before Thanksgiving, 1983 in a country western dance hall. He saw me as I walked by, turned to his buddy and said, "That's the girl I'm going home with tonight." We've been together ever since. It was love at first sight. God put him right in my path and I was smart enough to recognize what a gift he was! He never really proposed to me in the traditional sense - we were just meant to marry and one day we did. We had discussed it often and set a date and were married. There was no real proposal.
2. What was your first reaction when you found out you were pregnant with your twins? I believed I was having twins before I was actually told 4 months into my pregnancy. When I heard the news I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I felt blessed. It was sheer bliss!
Thanks you so much Sting for these great questions!
Sniz asked:
1. Did you always know you liked to write or did you kind of find out through blogging? I've always believed that I was a "good" writer, but I didn't know that I loved to write until right after I was pregnant with my twins, quit my job and stayed home (over 16 years ago). I was looking for an "outlet" for myself when I became a SAHM and found writing. I've written in one form or another ever since. Until blogging, it has only ever been for myself.
2. I'm curious about how you decide what to blog about ... and how you decide on the "flavor" of the post ... whether you write it in 3rd person as a story, complete with creative imagery, or when you write realistic, "this happened today" posts. Know what I mean? I write the story when it comes to me and then store it in my drafts. I probably have about 40-50 stories right now, saved in my drafts. I am always watching and listening for a story and when I hear or see something that I think will make a good story, I jot down a note about the incident and keep it in a file. When I have time to write, I will pull all my notes and see if there are any stories to be told from the notes I made. Sometimes, something happens and I run right away to my computer to write a story, because it hits me as being a particularly good story and I feel the need to write it right then. I won't necessarily post it the next day, though, usually it goes into my drafts and I hold it to post when the timing feels right. Some days I write 3 or 4 stories. Some days I don't write any. Many days go by where I don't write a story. Sometimes I wonder if another story will ever come - and yet they always do. I have lots of ideas in my "idea" folder and sometimes I pull that file and try to make a story out of one of those ideas that didn't seem like a good idea before. Some of the ideas will never be a story and some of them will be a story one day. I find that the story is either "there" to be told, or it isn't. I never force a story - it either comes easily or it doesn't. If it doesn't - I abandon the idea quickly and try to move on to another idea or walk away from trying to write a story at all. If I try to force it - it is NEVER a good story! And ... I NEVER try to search for story ideas. I have found that if the story is meant to be told - it will FIND me and hit me in such a way that I know it immediately. Not every funny or touching moment makes for a good story - no matter how hard I try to make it!As far as the "flavor" of the story - that usually comes from my mood (somber or playful or serious ...) or the "mood" of the story I'm trying to tell. Or, the story just comes out easily in say, 3rd person. Sometimes I reword certain posts (in my mind) using different techniques, but I don't spend a lot of time on it. If it is meant to be in a unique or differnent tone then it will be pretty clear to me before I even sit down to write it.
3. How much time do you spend writing, editing, checking and commenting on other blogs, daily? Do you have a set time, or is it randon (i.e. 3 hours on Monday, but you only had 1 extra hour Tuesday, etc.)? I don't write every day. I write when I have a story to tell. It's kind of like my mind clicks into a "story-telling" mode. It is only in that mode at certain times - not when I want it to be. I spend about 1/2 an hour writing a story and 1/2 an hour editing - generally. I spend anywhere from 5-6 hours a day reading and commenting on other blogs - everyday. I usually do most of my blogging about 3 hours in the early morning and 3 hours or so in the late evening. I also do a little all day long - but not for long stretches - 1/2 hur here - 1/2 hour there. I usually have the same available time every morning and every evening - it's my days that I never know how much time I will have.
4. Is there a rhyme or reason to the frequency of your posts? i.e. do you have a goal to post something daily, etc.? I post a story everyday. I am considering taking weekends off and will probably start doing that pretty soon. Right now, I have lots of drafts in my file and so I don't feel the pressure of "coming up with a story". If my drafts dwindle down, I become more panicked and feel more pressured. If it got to the point that I didn't have stories in my drafts and the stories didn't come easily anymore - I would not post daily - JUST to post daily. I want my blog to showcase stories I have to tell - if there is no story, then I would not post until I have one.
Thanks Sniz for all the great questions!
Eagles Wings asked:
1. Do you like Chinese food? YES I DO! I love it.
2. If yes, what dishes are your favorite? If not, why? I like anything with pork or chicken or beef in it and lots of stir-fried veggies. I'm not crazy about seafood in Chinese food. I'm also not crazy about a lot of noodles, but I love rice and especially fried rice. I love crabmeat rangoons. I love egg rolls with that hot mustard. I love the sweet sauces.
3. Have you ever tried cooking Chinese food? I'm not a great cook and No, I have never really tried. I've made fried rice.
4. What are the basic manners you teach your children? Now, this is where I have failed as a mother. I've tried to teach them to be polite, courteous, respectful, kind, caring - all those things. They are all of those things, except they aren't don't have very polite sometimes. They seem to be good in public and with other people, but here at home - NOPE!
5. What are your favorite chores? I don't like any chores, but I don't mind working hard in my gardens or in my yard - I love those types of chores. I also don't mind clothes shopping.
Thanks Eagles Wings for these great questions!
dlyn asked: (Riley is right - I'm sorry, I forgot. I owe Riley a cookie)
1. Do you like to travel? I do like to travel - I am always planning family trips to this place or that and my husband try to get away on some traveling sort of vacation at least one a year without the children.
2. Where do, or would you like to go? I'd love to go to Greece or Japan or New York or the east coast of the U.S. I've been to Europe, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Grand Caymen Islands, Jamaica, Mexico, Canada and all over the U.S.
Kami asked:
1. Have you ever considered writing a book? Yes. I have actually written several books - I've just never had them published. I've written fiction, non-fiction and children's books. Maybe one day I'll actually publish a book.
2. If you did, what would it be, fiction or non-fiction? If I were to write a book right now - a new book - I'd write non-fiction. But, I'd also like to write fiction. The books I've written have potential - a couple of them, but I don't think I would seriously consider having any of those published - not now, anyway.
3. Who would be the main character? If it was non-fiction, it would probably be a book about my kids - they'd be the characters of the book - like my blog is. As a matter of fact, our lives might make a pretty good fiction book too - using those same kids as the main characters.
Thanks Kami for the great questions!
Karen Meg asked:
1. Have you ever been to Canada, and if not, when are you gonna come up for a visit? Yes I have and I loved it! We took a cruise in the Spring after 9/11 (what year was that?) out of NY that went to Canada. I can't remember all of our ports we stopped in right now (when I do, I'll come back an list them), but it was beautiful and I loved it! It's the only time I've ever been and I wasn't there that long, but I did buy a pair of white tennis shoes (I had forgotten to pack tennis shoes) in a little corner store in one of the towns and I still have those shoes. If I ever go back I will definitely come knocking at your door my friend - you are my first Canadian blogging friend and I love you!!
Thanks Karen Meg for the great question!
Eileen asked:
1. How do you deal with the stresses in your life? Well ... not very well, sometimes. When I feel stressed, it is usually because I have too much on my plate and on those days or during those weeks, I just do the best I can to get through all I have to do as gracefully and as FAST as I can! I like to talk out my stresses with my husband or mother or my friends. Usually if I can get the crap out of my head or off of my chest I can clear my head, set a plan or goal and refocus my energy on achieving that goal.
Thanks Eileen for this great question!
Annie asked:
1. What TV show is your biggest guilty pleasure? Right now I would say it is between LOST or Americal Idol.
Thanks Annie for the great question!
Jennifer H asked:
1. Do you remember the first song you and your husband danced to? Was it that night? I don't remember the song, but we did dance. He took my hand, led me to the dance floor and ... we danced! All night long - we danced (and kissed). I fell in love on that dance floor and I was in such a cloud I couldn't name one song that played that night if you paid me a million dollars. I wish I did know what that first song was.
2. What was the first concert you ever attended? I have NEVER been to a concert! I lived in Germany when I was in high school and we didn't have any concerts to go to over there. When I came back to the states, I probably could have gone, but I never did. I've only ever been to concerts (shows) of country music stars (Alan Jackson, The Judds, etc.). I know - pretty pitiful.
Thanks Jennifer for the great questions!
Bren J. asked:
1. If you could have chosen where you were born, where would you pick? This is a great question, but I wouldn't change a thing. I was born in a tiny town in the hills of West Virginia - where my mother and father's family's are all from (and some still there) and I love that place more than any place I have been on earth. I never lived there myself, as we moved a lot with my father being in the Military, but we went "home" often. I have said many, many times that it is the most beatiful place I have ever seen. I also wouldn't want to be born anywhere but in the U.S. I think I am so fortunate to have been born in America!!!!!
2. What do you hope is the greatest gift you will ever give your children? I hope I instill in them a strong belief in God - that has always been my greatest gift and that would be a gift for them as well!
3 & 4. Since you've been around the Mommy block a few times, what's the best piece of (serious) advice you would give to a Mama-Newbie? The best piece of silly advice? Serious advice would be to try your best to do whatever it takes to instill confidence in your child. If they have confidence and use it wisely - they will make their way in the world and be successful and happy at whatever they do. If you trust yourself and love yourself then ... you tend to be able to love others and treat others right. If you believe in yourself then it doesn't matter what others say or believe about you. If you have confidence then you tend to be clear minded about your goals and ideas and you are apt to make better choices. It's huge. Now, the best piece of silly advice: Never let your kids know that McDonalds gives away toys - NEVER!
5. If we ever get to Texas, can you arrange a pony ride for the Little goat or can we crash at your Lake House? Yes and Yes!!! Let me know when you are coming!
Thank you Bren J. for these great questions!
Maria asked:
1. You blog about your kids often, and I love to hear the stories. They seem like such GOOD kids! Have your kids ever done anything that really made you mad? (Just wondering, thought it might make me feel more normal). They couldn't be a better bunch of kids - really! BUT, the answer to this question is YES! Little Billy and Alexis fight a lot and that makes me mad. Courtney and Chloe seldom ever do anything I ask the first time and that makes me mad - constantly. No one in my family ever puts anything back where they got it and that MAKES ME CRAZY MAD! My kids are like anyone else's kids - they get into things, make bad choices, fight too much, yell all the time, make messes everywhere they go, etc. But, they are GREAT KIDS!! I think, honestly, that they are far better kids than I am a mother!
Thanks Maria for this great question!
Andrea asked:
1. What would Chloe, Courtney and Alexis' names have been if they were boys? Courtney and Chloe would probably have been Christian and Cole (I was big on the "C" names) and Alexis might have been Brennon.
2. And, what would Billy Jr.'s name have been if he had been a girl? Mallory. That was the name I had picked out for a girl.
Thanks Andrea for these great questions!
HRH asked:
1. What is your favorite blog to read? (Well, yours, of course!!) I could never choose one as my favorite. I like so many blogs, for different reasons - don't you!?
2. Have you always been a Texas? No. I was an Army brat that ended up here in 1978 and I have been here ever since! I consider myself a Texan, but I wasn't born here.
Thanks HRH for the great questions!
LunaNik asked:
1. So, when I e-mail TLC about your blog and suggest that they film your family for a reality show (I really AM going to do this btw), and they offer you a show, will you do it?? I read this question to my husband and the most frightened look came over his face - I am not kidding! I don't think I would ever want cameras filming our family, day-in-and-day-out. I appreciate your confidence in us - that we'd be entertaining and all - but, I don't think we would be reality-TV worthy! Nor do I believe I could stand for the world to see everything that ACTUALLY goes on in our house - we are CRAZY loud and most of the time nothing is FUNNY around here until WELL after it happens - you know - in retrospect! No, I don't think for one minute we could do it! I would write a book though - if you want to write someone about that (tee hee)!
Thanks so much LunaNik - you are one crazy girl and I love ya!
R Family of 4 asked:
1. Do you have a quote or words that you live by? I don't really have a quote, but I do often say, "Everything happens for a reason," and I believe it. I also constantly say that "Life is choices and our life is the result of the choices we make." I also find myself saying, in the course of conversations, "Well ... On the upside ..." and that is why I named my blog On The Upside. I am an "optimist" and always believe "There is an answer to every problem"!
Thanks R Family of 4 for the great question!
Leah asked:
1. Did you always plan to have a larger family? No I didn't. I figured we'd have 2 kids. Somewhere along the way - we had 4 kids and I don't know how that really happened, me being so organized and such a "control freak" and all (??)!
2. Do twins run in your family or was it just random fantastic surprise that you had twins? There are no twins in our family. And, Courtney and Chloe are what are called monoamnionic twins - the rarest type of identical twins (they share the same amnionic sac and the same placenta) and those type of twins (identical) are not the type that are hereditary - fraternal twins run in families.
3. You've talked about being an older mom; was it by choice or circumstance (didn't find the right guy until later, had problems getting pregnant, etc.)? I didn't want kids until I was 30 years old - I just never wanted them before then. After I had my twins, we waited 5 years until we decided to have another baby and little Billy was born. Four years later - our surprise baby - Alexis was born when I turned 40 years old. She was not planned, but she is the greatest gift and I couldn't imagine my life without her!!!! Any of them!! (My husband and I married when we were each 22).
4. What are your pet peeves? I can't stand to see or hear someone smacking their lips when they eat or chew gum! I don't like prentious people. I don't like jealousy - to see it or feel it or be on the butt-end of it! I don't like dropping things - it drives me crazy! And, I don't like to see or experience unfairness!
5. Is there anything in your life that you would go back and change? Yes! I would definitely have never started smoking. I know it probably surpises you that I smoke! I've quit several times (for long periods of time), but am smoking again. I have promised Alexis that I will quit when summer gets here and I will - this time for good!!
OHMommy asked:
1. Shoes tell a story. What were the very first shoes you purchased with your own money and what were the very last shoes you purchased? Describe them from one shoe lover to the next (details!)? Okay, when I lived in Germany, I was 15, 16, and 17 years old. I worked my very first job when I was 16 (waitress and cashier). When I lived in Germany, us kids wore a lot of "hip-hugger" jeans with embroidery all over them (I still have my favorite pair that I wore back then). Us kids were into ADIDAS tennis shoes - we called them AW-DE-DAs. ALL of us kids had our own special pair. I bought a pair of white with three green strips on the sides. I was very proud of those ADIDAS and wore them everyday with my letterman jacket! I also remember buying a pair of dark redish brown tie-up mokisans and when I didn't wear the ADIDAS, I wore the mokisans - those were the kids we were. Now ... I have come a long way from ADIDAS and mokisans. The most recent pair of shoes I have purchased is a pair of satin-y pink high-heels (3"). They are pretty, but will only go with the perfect outfit (that I don't actualy own yet). There is a wide strap just a over the toes (they are open toed) and then a thinner strap above the wide strap that goes over the top of the foot. They are covered in beads and sequins. I bought these shoes because they were on sale and I didn't have one single pair of pink shoes. They are cute and I can't wait to find an outfit to go with them (tee hee). Maybe I'll find a great outfit and bring them to SF with me and then you can see them in person!
Thanks OHMommy for the great question!
Cindy asked:
1. How did you start reading my very wonderful niece's Laughingleahloveslillies blog? I don't rememeber if I found Leah or if Leah found me, but she and I have been friends for many months. If I found her, it was probably by way of seeing her comment on someone else's blog. How ever we became friends - I am so happy we found each other!! I love visiting her blog and can always count on her to brighten my day with her sweet and funny posts! Her smile alone - makes me happy!!
Thanks Cindy for the great question!
Angela asked:
1. Why did you start your blog? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know!
2. Do your kids have accents? I don't think they have accents. I would imagine if they went to NYC or somewhere up north, people might pick up on a bit of a Texas accent - but, it is not an obvious Texas drawl!
3. And seriously, what is your favorite about being a mom? I used to think that I loved being a mom to babies (and I did!), but ... I am sooooooo enjoying being a mom to my teenage daughters. Not all of it is fun, but a lot of it is!! I think my very favorite part is watching them grow into the people they will become, someday! I find that I truly "like" all of my kids and that surprises me. I honestly thought that there might be a time when they might "rub me funny" - you know - that I might even get to where I loved them, but didn't "like" them all that much, because they would grow into people I couldn't relate to or be a certain way that would make me CRAZY! Now ... they aren't all grown yet, but ... so far - I really LIKE all of them, A LOT! That has to say something about me as a mother and I love that part!
Thanks so much Angela for the great questions!
Andrea J asked:
1. If you had 2 hours to do whatever you pleased, how would you spend it? Right now - because it is winter and I didn't get to go this year - I'd spend it snow skiing! I love to snow ski and missed going this year!
Thanks Andrea for this great question!
Lucille asked:
1. What is your biggest fear? I've said this quite often over that past several years. Because I think I am a pretty strict mother and because I don't always think I am the best mother ... my greatest fear is that my kids will leave home one day and ... never come back to me.
2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? This is a hard question. I wouldn't want to actually live anywhere but in the U.S., but if I could have a house in different places that I could visit for a while, I'd want one in the mountains, one in the tropics and one in Europe and then I'd also want a $20million yacht so I could get to all my houses (tee hee)!
3. What would you take with you if you were on a deserted island? I'd definitely take lots of paper and pens. I'd take my kids and husand. I'd take a hammer and nails. I'd take toothbrushes. I think that's all I'd need. We'd make due eating clams and coconuts. We'd build us a house. We'd be happy if we had each other and could manage without all the rest - even coffee and chocolate. I considered taking coffee and chocolate, but realized it would run out at some point, so decided it would just be better to go cold-turkey from the get-go!
4. What is your favorite song? Right now, and for the past several years, it is "Believe" by Brooks and Dunn. I love that song!
5. If you weren't blogging, what would you be doing? Well ... right this very minute if I wasn't blogging, I'd go get that shower I've been meaning to take for the past 2 days (tee hee!). If I weren't blogging everyday, I'd use that time to write and also work on my house (I'm always decorating/re-decorating) or yard. I'd spend more time doing crafty stuff or find some project to get involved in (I always have some project going around my house).
Thanks Lucille for all these great questions!
One Scrappy Chicklet asked:
1. I read that you have only lived in Texas 1/2 of your life. Where else have you lived? My dad was in the Army, so we moved a lot when I was growing up. I was born in West Virginia and have lived in Michigan, Colorado, Virginia (twice), Texas (twice) and Germany. I ended up in Texas in 1978 and have lved here ever since.
2. Which do you find more challenging, raising girls or Little Billy. And why? Girls - definitely! Maybe because I have 3 girls and just 1 boy. Definitely because they talk way more than boys and they have more needs and are more demanding. My girls are very good girls, but they require so much more attention than Little Billy does - in every way! Drama is big with girls and that makes every situations fifty times bigger and more important to them than it actually is - it is EXHAUSTING sometimes. They also just need/want more things (tampons, jewelry, shoes, clothes, books, CDs, bras ...), boys just don't seem to need/want as much - give Little Billy a sling-shot and a pile of rocks and send him to the back yard and he is happy for DAYS!!!!!
3. What is your one trait that you hope your children carry over to their adult lives? Definitely, self-confidence! I totally believe that if you use this trait wisely and fairly and humbly ... it has the potential to serve you in everything you do in your life and also serve those around you.
4. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas is my favorite holiday - definitely!
5. Do you have any "turning into my mother" episodes? I had a few of those a few years ago - now ... I HAVE DONE MORPHED INTO HER! Really!
Thanks Tami (One Scrappy Chicklet) for these great questions!
Girlymom asked:
1. So after thinking about what my questions would be, I guess I just want to know from the best ... how you do it all? Well ... first of all, I'd hardly say I am the "best" and I don't think anyone in my world would use that term to describe me either - but thanks. I do what I can - the best I can - AS FAST AS I CAN!! Being organized is the key ingredient to staying on top of as much as possible. I have always been an overly-organized (anal) person and that helps to "give the illusion" that you are handling everything. I, for the most part, do think that I am able to stay on top of most all that goes on in my/our world ... but, it has taken me these many years to get to the point where I have it "down"!! And ... I don't do it all alone. My kids and my husband and my family help with all of it! My husband is my best partner and I couldn't do anything that makes our lives go or keeps us functioning in a semi-straight line - WITHOUT HIM and all of his support and help!!
2. How bad are the teenage hormones? What surprises am I in for? I soooooo worried about this too! Since I am an older mom, I often joked that my girls would enter puberty at about the same time that I entered menopause and that was going to be horrible! I am not quite old enough for menopause and so that didn't really happen. And, as far as the teenage hormones, I have been pleasantly surprised that it has not - yet- been all that obvious or difficult to deal with. My girls are very much tomboys and so that helps, I think, as they are more interested in sports than boys and not all that into the girly stuff that can trigger tantrums and drama. It's not been all that bad. I think keeping them involved has helped - as they have less time for whining and crying about stuff - they just have to get it done - you know!
3. I hear the schedules are nutty, how do you manage the kids schedules, your life, family life and still have time to be witty with your blog? Sometimes the schedules are nutty! First - I depend on my husband to help out a lot. I don't know how women do it without the help of their husbands (and there are MANY that do!). Second - I just try to stay organized by keeping calendars and careful of scheduling appointments and such. Third - we limit the amount of activities each kid can be involved in and don't let them do sports in the summer months at all, so that is a break for the entire family and we just have all summer to have FUN! The older my girls are getting (and will be driving soon), this summer thing will change, as they will be able to choose more what they want to do and also be able to get themselves there. It all gets easier with time, really! You just learn where the problems are and find ways to eliminate or work with those issues. As far as my time - Since all of my children are now in school, I use that time for me. I do still have lots of responsibilites (house, business, yard, school committees, etc.) that I have to allow time for, but ... I make sure now that there is time in everyday to do the things I want/need/like to do. As long as I get everything else I am responsible for doing - I feel like the rest of the time left is mine to use as I wish. Therefore - I try to do all that other stuff REALLY FAST!!
4. I saw you are hoping to be a published writer (totally agree and would definitely read) besides a way to capture your family life, do you have other goals for your blog? I think this blog will always be where I write about my family and my life. I have thought about creating another/other blogs where I could write about other things and write totally differently. I don't know how I would ever manage more than one blog and that idea is just sitting in the back of my mind for now. As far as goals for this blog - I have visions of it being better than it is now. I'm pretty happy with it right now and feel it represents what I want it to say and is doing most of what I want it to do - I just imagine it could get better and better and that is what I continue to strive for.
5. Are you making any decent money from BlogHer? I only recently signed up for BlogHer and only in the past couple of weeks finalized all the required paperwork. I would be very happy if I made money from my blog, as it sort of jusifies that amount of time I have invested and my husband would be happy that I at least made a couple of bucks. I haven't made any money yet, as I only recently finalized the agreement. If I ever make any money, I'd be happy to let you know how that goes or you could and let me know!
Thanks Girlymom for all the great questions!
Kim-d asked:
1. When is your Birthday? My birthday is May 2nd.
2. What is the best material gift you have ever recieved? I have more than one, but none of them were purchased for me. I cherish a walking-stick that my grandfather (on my father's side) gave me, because he made it himself and used it often when he walked around on his farm. I cherish the veterinary bag that my dad gave me. It was his first medical bag that he used when he started his verterninary practice years and years ago. I cherish an antique doll that used to be my grandmothers (on my father's side) that she left for me. And, I cherish an antique doll that used to be my other grandmothers (on my mom's side) that my mom gave to me one Christmas. Also ... I consider my children to be the greatest gift of all - besides my husband! (And, I do like my wedding ring a lot!).
3. When we're young, we sometimes think we don't want to be like our mothers, but that changes (usually). What is the best way in which you have turned out to be JUST LIKE your mother? I wish I could say that I am as kind as my mother is, but I can't. I wish I could say that I am graceful and as beautiful as my mother is, but I can't. I wish I could say that I am as considerate and loving and friendly and tolerant as my mother is - but I'm not. Of all the wonderful things that she is that I can honestly say I have inherited and have actually achieved is that I think I am generous. I learned this quality from my mother and I think I am that. All the other things I have mentioned (and many more wonderful qualities) - I strive for - I'm not there yet on many of these, but maybe one day and can say that I am all those things and I was lucky to get that from her!
Thanks Kim for all of these great questions!
JenKneeBee asked:
1. You mentioned that you had only been to the concerts of country singers. Do you mostly list to country music? Yes - it is all I listen to, when I have a choice. When we are in the car with my teenagers, they normally take over the radio and we listen to their stuff and I don't mind most of it. At home, it's sort of the same, as they often have music playing in different rooms. I have come to really love Kelly Clarkson - her most recent album. I like lots of different music and all sorts of songs that aren't country, but when I turn on the radio I listen to country.
2. Who are your top 3 favorite muscians? I'm going to list singers, cuz I don't reckon I really know any specific muscians that I could name. I like George Strait, I like Trisha Yearwood and I like Garth Brooks.
3. Have you ever put mentos into a 2 liter of Diet Coke and watched it explode all of the place? No I have not and do not tell Little Billy about this little chemistry experiment as it is soooooooo something he would love!!
4. If you had a theme song, what would it be? What a great question! I think if my family were to be able to name this theme song, they might choose something like "CRAZY". I could pick the theme song for my life, it would probably be, "Who Let The Dogs Out?" If it was a theme song for me personally, I'd hope it might be, "Don't Worry - Be Happy" or "Believe".
5. If you were in a band, what would it be called? Definitely, "Headless Chicken".
6. Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with Jabba the Hut or Gollum? I'd probably choose Jabba the Hut as he couldn't probably actually catch me if I were running away from him!
Thanks JenKneeBee for these FUN questions!
Sharon Brumfield asked:
1. What is the most romantic gift you have recieved from your DH? My hubby is not a very romantic person - NOPE! I'm not even sure he can spell the word romantic. But, I guess the most romantic gift he ever gave me was my wedding ring, as he personally picked it out and I loved it. On our 10th wedding anniversary, we had my ring updated (actually replaced), but I didn't trade-in my original ring, I kept it to give to my son when he meets the girl of his dreams.
Thanks Sharon for this great question!
Hetha asked:
1. If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be and why? I don't think I would like his life, but I would want to be my husband for a day. I could then find out what it is really like to be married to me and hopefully see those things that I am and things I do that I might be able to change to make his life better. I'd also like be inside of him and learn how to be more patient and giving. I could learn a lot by being my husband for a day - especially how to be a lot better person!
Thanks Hetha for this great question!
For Love Of Home asked:
1. Can you name all of your elementary school teachers? Nope! I can only remember 2 - my second grade teacher's name was Miss Baily and my sixth grade teacher's name was Miss Walters.
2. What is your most embarrasing moment during high school dating? When I was 16, I was babysitting. I had asked my boyfriend Ritchie to come over to be with me. My parents would not have approved of this and somehow my father found out that Ritchie was there, came knocking at the door, I hid Ritchie in a closet, my dad searched the entire apartment with a flashlight and found Ritchie crouched down in the corner of the closet and asked him (politely) to go home. The next day at school everyone at school was talking about how Kellan's dad had found Ritchie in the closet - quite funny, but embarrassing.
3. What was your first car? I bought my first car with my income tax money, when I was 18 years old. It cost $1,200.00 and it was this little white Dodge Colt wagon. It was a stick-shift and I didn't even know how to drive a stick, so my dad taught me in one night and I drove it to work the next day, parked it on a hill, forgot to put it in gear and when I came out from work in the afternoon, it was at the bottom of the hill. My next car was the car I really wanted, a white Camero Berlinetta with blue interior.
4. Was there someone in your life that you always tried to be like? I didn't realize it until I was much older, but it would be my parents. I am very much like the both of them (combined) and it is because I KNOW I heard everything they ever said to me and watched everything they ever did. Looking back on my childhood I can see now that I was fascinated by how they lived their lives - and was also as a child.
5. What is your best friends' name? I won't use their real names, as there are 4 that I consider my very best friends. The first friend has the same first name as Priscilla Presley's daughter. The second one's name rhymes with oozie or doozie. The third one has the same first name as the blonde bomb shell that used to be on Baywatch and was married to Tommy Lee. The 4th one has the same first name as Posh Spice from the Spice Girls.
Thank you For Love Of Home for these great questions!
Gina asked:
1. What was your first car? I bought my first car with my income tax money, when I was 18 years old. It cost $1,200.00 and it was this little white Dodge Colt wagon. It was a stick-shift and I didn't even know how to drive a stick, so my dad taught me in one night and I drove it to work the next day, parked it on a hill, forgot to put it in gear and when I came out from work in the afternoon, it was at the bottom of the hill. My next car was the car I really wanted, a white Camero Berlinetta with blue interior.
2. What do you drive now? I drive "The Big Blue Van"! It is a Ford Econovan - with a conversion package on it. I've driven a van (mini or other) for the past 16 years - I'm ready for something other than a van - that is for sure!
3. If you don't drive your dream car now, what is your dream car? Well ... I've been driving a van for over 16 years - so I just dream about driving any car that is not a VAN! I'm a big TransAm, Firebird, Camero fan - I'd take any one of those cars as a convertible and white.
Thanks so much Gina for all these great questions!
Justabeachkat asked:
1. Is Kellan a family name? (I love it!) I happen to also love my name, so I am always happy to answer questions questions about it. My mother had a friend in high school that had the name Mary Kellan and that is where my name came from. My name is Kellan Renee, though. I have a cousin that had a little girl at the same time I had my twins (15 years ago) and named her daughter Mary Kellan - I was so jealous that I hadn't thought to use the name for one of my girls - I love it. They call her Mary-Kellan.
2. If you could go back and re-live one day, what day would that be and why? To choose one day, it would be to go back to the day that I smoked my first cigarette and not do that - for obvious reasons. If I could choose a thousand days, I'd go back and be kinder to my mother on all those occasions I was unkind!
3. If you could spend the day with one famous person, who would it be and why? It would be Jesus. I would just want to be near him.
Thanks so much Justabeachkat for these great questions!
Wonderful World of Weiners asked:
1. If you were forced to eat only one food item for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? Potatoes! I love potatoes and you can make potatoes so many different ways - so that would be my choice.
2. If you could pick a different first name, what would it be? Maybe Renee. That is my middle name and I really like that name.
3. If a movie was made about your life, what would it be titled? It would be titled, "Perpetual Motion". It's not a very romantic title or alluring title, but it best describes my life - always moving in one direction or the other and always in motion. 4. If you found the end of the rainbow, what would you hope to find? I'd not only hope to find Him there, I truly believe He is there - it would be God!
5. If you had to be one, would you rather be blind or deaf and why? I would choose to loose my sight, I think. I've never honestly thought about this, but when I did, it came to me quickly. I would miss seeing the world and the faces of my loved ones ... but I think I truly treasure the sounds in my life more. The laughter - the songs - the voices. I would miss the voices more than the faces, I think. I can't think about missing the eyes, because that makes me want to cry.
Thanks so much Hallie for all these great questions!
Sheri asked:
1. What is your favorite touristy thing to do where you live? Probably going to the Riverwalk. Our city is know for its Riverwalk and I always enjoy going there.
2. Where is your favorite area in Texas to go for a weekend getaway? We have a lakehouse at a lake in the hill country and I love going there - it is beautiful and resort feeling and so relaxing! I also love going to the Frio River - camping!
3. Were you popular in high school? I really wasn't! I always had lots of friends and boyfriends, but I wasn't popular.
4. Who was your first boyfriend and don't leave out the juicy details? I always had lots of boyfriends, but my first serious boyfriends' name was Junior. The first one I thought I really loved, you know. I was 16 years old and I lived in Germany. We went to school together and lived on the same post in Stuttgart, Germany. He was a good boyfriend. He was kind and sweet and cute and funny. We kissed a lot. I remember sitting on the stoop of our house with him, in the evenings. We'd hold hands and kiss - it was a lot of fun - all that making out! We were inseperable for about a year. I have only fond memories of Junior. My father was transferred (he was in the Army) back to the states and I had to leave Junior behind (I was 17 years old). It was very hard. We lost touch and I have never seen him again.
Thanks Sheri for all the great questions!
Amy asked:
1. What is your favorite book and why? I have never been much of a reader. I know, it's not common for those that love to write - not also to love to read. I do like to read and have read lots of books, but I don't LOVE it. I think the main reason is because I don't have the patience for reading - the patience to invest the time into a book. I don't sit for very long doing any one thing and reading requires a lot of sitting. I've never been one to SIT. I wish I was and could settle my "self" enough to sit and enjoy reading - but it is not in my personality. I have to be in motion, most of the time. Somehow, not being a "dedicated" reader myself - I have still managed to instill in my kids the love of reading - my kids love to read and be read to! I DO believe it is important and a gift! (I am most fascinated by Steven King and I love the stories that Ann Rice tells).
Throughout my life I have been called - CAROLYN, ELLEN, HELEN, KAREN - you name it. Unless it is important - I usually just answer to anything.
This is just because I have been so used to being called by many different names by teachers, parents of friends and strangers that just had never heard the name KELLAN.
It is still not a very common name. I hear it every once in a while, but almost always it is a name given to a boy. There is a football player (San Diego Chargers) whose name is Kellen Winslow and I hear his name announced every now and then on TV on a Sunday afternoon. There was a cute boy on one of those reality TV shows (maybe The Hills) whose name is Kellan. I've run across two blogs over the past year where a boy child has the name Kellan.
I don't like being called by the wrong name, but if I don't know you and won't likely ever see you again - it just doesn't matter. If you are someone I see every time I attend the PTA Board meeting and I sit on the board with you - then I want you to call me by my correct name.
YES - there is a woman on the PTA Board not calling me by my right name and I made the mistake of not correcting her - oh ... about 2 months ago - and now it is just awkward to correct her, and so I just let her call me Kee-lan. I just keep hoping she will notice that everyone else calls me Kel-lan and she will figure it out on her own. Hasn't happened yet.
For those of you that have wondered how I pronounce my name - it is KEL-LAN (sounds just like Helen, but with a K) - not KEE-LAN. I was named after a friend my mother had in school - her name was Mary Kellan. My name is Kellan Renee. I have a cousin that named her daughter (my second cousin) Mary Kellan. I wish I'd thought of it before she did - I'd have loved to have named one of my daughters Mary Kellan.
I know - some of you were wondering, and probably have even been saying it wrong in your head all this time - that's okay. I am doing that with a few bloggers that I have known for a while but am not quite sure how to pronounce their names.
So tell me - have you been saying it right or wrong?
(For those of you that don't care a thing about all this K-E-L-L-A-N clarification - sorry. Maybe you can come back tomorrow and hopefully I'll have something more interesting to post.)
They entered the dimly lit CICU hospital room and lingered in the shadows by the doorway.
I could see them clearly, standing together. I knew they were there and yet it was as if I was seeing their shadows in a bright light at the end of a long corridor. As if they were not close at all - and not real, but a dream.
My heart raced and then slowed. Tears welled in my eyes at the sight of my sweet family.
My son stood beside his father and his sisters and tried to put on a brave face. His little sister walked bravely to the side of my bed, looked me in the eyes and cried, "When are you coming home, Mama?" Tears rolled down the cheeks of my tiny girl as she buried her face in my lap. My son stayed back.
He has never been a mama's boy. It has not been until the past year or so that the boy has been drawn to his mother. They have grown close. It has been such a pleasure to see him grow and become a young man, and at the same time ... fall in love with his mother, like a small child.
I would look over and there he'd be - staring at me. Not saying much, but watching my every move and listening to the chatter of his sisters and soft whispers of his sick mother. He eventually moved close to the side of my bed - close enough for me to place my hand on his back and urge him closer. He leaned, cautiously, on the edge of my bed, looking over his shoulder into my eyes and offering sporadic heart warming smiles. It was obvious that he was afraid.
I could not sit up. I could barely breath or string together a coherent sentence. But ... I was able to see the look in my son's eyes. The look in my daughter's eyes. The look in my husband's eyes. I saw the fear. I saw the connection - to me. I saw ... the longing and the love.
When the visit was over and the family began to pull away from the mother and move into the hallway, one by one ... the son lingered behind. He snuck back to his mother's side. He smiled sweetly. He said, "Bye, Mom," and then he walked away.
The mother was sure the son had gone and then ... he returned to her side once again, like a flash of light from heaven. He took her arm gently and hugged it to his chest. He did not look up when he whispered, "I love you Mom. I miss you Mom," and then he turned again and he was gone.
It scared the mother to be left alone. To feel so sick. To feel the sadness and see the fear in the eyes of her children. But ... it was also a brilliant moment in the mother's life. The time when her loved ones gathered around her ...
That interview I did on one of our local morning television shows ?
It was a good interview - I thought.
I enjoyed it.
I was famous - for a whole hour - here in my home city.
Well ...
I guess word is getting around ...
I guess it was only a matter of time ...
That I would one day ...
Be contacted by a prime-time television show!
YES - I was.
Yes - it came in the form of an e-mail from a producer of the CBS show - inviting me to consider being a ...swap-ie.
I won't name the title of the show - as I am not sure I am supposed to because ...
I declined.
It's really ...
THE LAST THING I NEED!
For the whole nation to sit down, turn on their televisions and ...
See me ...
Shipped off to some other lady's house in maybe - Iowa ... and have her shipped into mine!
For the whole nation to tune in to see ...
Me ... slopping pigs or milking cows ...
Or ...
Driving a tractor or bailing hay on a family farm.
All the while ... the mom-replacing-me would be showin' the world ...
All those cars sitting in my driveway ...
Hear stories about how we find dead deer in our pool and how the father of the On The Upside household lasso's the deer, loads it into a wheel barrel and carts it off into the woods and dumps the poor thing - with his little redneck son by his side.
For the whole nation to come into my house and witness the fact that my children take baths only every few days or so and farther between ... if they have been swimming.
For the whole nation to look inside my laundry room and SEE those baskets of white socks that I am NEVER going to match up. That I just go out and buy new socks ... so I don't have to do this duty!
For the whole nation to see that I allow my forth child to eat rotten fruit.
For the whole nation to see that I have more shoes than I have places I will ever where so many shoes - to!
For the whole nation to hear about how I rely on our neighbors to castrate our cats.
For the whole nation to hear and possibly even see how the youngest On The Upside girl - only 7 years old - is allowed to wear little-girl-make-up.
For the whole nation to hear how the mother of the On The Upside family is sometimes so preoccupied that she will agree to most anything.
For the whole nation to see and hear how the boy child is destined to be a carnie.
For the whole nation to see how the On The Upside mother sometimes tells the small daughter that armadillo tails are really unicorn horns.
For the whole nation to find out that the only reason we go to church is because the 7 year old wakes the entire On The Upside household with LOUD SCREAMS on Sunday mornings - to go church - like the loudest church bell you have ever heard.
For the whole nation to see how the On The Upside kids sometimes wear their pajamas all day long, stay up way too late at night and have to fix themselves bowls of Captain Crunch cereal for lunch.
Oh, yes ... and for the whole nation to learn about the cowboy ghost that lives in our upstairs hallway.
For the whole nation to come into my house and learn that ... while I do help run my husband's electrical contracting business, maintain and run a household, monitor and chauffeur and feed and clothe and teach and raise - 4 children and 2 dogs and 2 cats and ... volunteer on the board of the PTA and in the school's of my children, and ... live a very busy life of cleaning and shopping and paying bills and running here and there ... that I also ... spend some of my time BLOGGING!
Nooooooooo ...
I don't need the whole nation to learn these things.
See these things.
Hear about these things.
I declined.
I just couldn't imagine any good coming from me being shipped off to some other family's house to - take care of and feed their children or interact with a strange man I would likely not like near as well as I like my own.
I could not imagine any good coming from my children being introduced to a potentially nicer mother or a woman that might influence them to believe that things are not being done correctly 'round here!
NOPE!
I declined.
If I'm going to be featured on a reality TV show ...
I'm holding out for ...
SURVIVOR!
I figure I have way more experience and years of useful covert tactics to tackle a show like that! And ... the worst things I might be expected to do is eat some bugs or sleep in the jungle with some snakes or some monkeys. I'm already living in a house full of monkeys and ... I've known worse things than eating bugs. *It's raising children and pleasin' husbands I'm not so great at!*
Or maybe ... Extreme Makeover!
I'd be open to Ty Pennington coming down here to Texas ...
He doesn't even have to build me a new house ...
He can build me a bookcase - I'll just stand there and help him for an hour and ... wipe the sweat off his brow ...
On the upside ... Maybe one day they'll be tripping over themselves just to get at me (tee hee). Right now - all I got is this blog and that other blog. The first of which my littlest daughter still on occasion calls ... On The Outside. I keep telling her, "It's ON THE UPSIDE - UPSIDE!" *sigh*
Yesterday ... The Boy and I got into it after school about his homework. Needless to say, the conversation escalated to the point that I was talking very loudly (screaming). This does not happen routinely with The Boy, especially where he screams back. He's usually pretty easy-going and does much of what he is told. But ... yesterday he was screaming back because he absolutely DID NOT want to do something that I felt he should do. We went round and round and round - for at least twenty minutes.
I began to get very very very very frustrated with him. I threw down the papers and yelled, "Fine ... if you don't want my help, fine! I don't care if you ever do your homework. Go back to school with it not done - fail for all I care." These words, however loud and inappropriate, did not phase him. He kept right on yelling. He WAS NOT going to do what I felt needed to be done.
I was not handling this situation to the best of my ability (obviously). I was a bit out of control (just a tad). And so was he. Worse than I've ever seen him. I did not think I was going be able to get him to back down - to settle down - to AGREE with me. So ... at some point in this heated discussion I said, "If you refuse to obey - do as I say, because this is my house and if you're going to live here, you are going to do what I say ... well then, I will just have to send you off to military school. That's where they sometimes send boys that won't listen to their mothers." Yep ... I said it. You should have seen the look in his eyes.
I was, at first, proud that I had found "the words" (I am forever unsure what they will be or if I am capable of finding them) to back this child down. Then ... I was sad. Sad that I had threatened "sending him away" and sad that he believed me (I can certainly look and act pretty scary - been working on those techniques for 15 years). He became immediately quiet. As did I.
We proceeded, after "the words" to have a very productive homeworking session. He was settled, I was settled and we got through it - together - not another raised voice or mean word.
Later, I went to his room and hugged him. I said, "Thanks for working so hard on your homework. Thanks for getting it all done. Thanks for doing what I think you should do. And ... I would never send you away to military school - unless you were REALLY out of control - like on drugs or hitting me and stuff (I'm an idiot). And, you are not out of control. You are a good boy." He hugged my neck tightly and said, "I'm sorry I yelled at you too."
I'm just wingin' it over here - I am telling you. Sometimes the words that come out of my mouth .... sometimes the anger I am riled to (Dr Phil would have been so ashamed of me - not that I really care what he thinks - if he'd have been there, I'd have likely kept right on yelling and then been invited to be on his "Really Bad Mothers" episode in the near future).
God ... put your hand over my stupid mouth and give me that patience I have been praying for ... FOR YEARS!
On the upside ... It did work - he did do the homework (I know, I know - not the best way to go about it, blah, blah, blah...).
*Note: The child in the picture above, sticking his tongue out at the camera ... that's The Boy, only he's now 8 years older. He still has a sweet little face and smile, but it was not the 2 year old I was yellin' at - just so you know.
It didn't take long for those darling babies - those precious baby girls ...
To grow ...
The years just flew by ...
Until one day ...
Those baby girls were ...
16 years old .
Playing high school basketball and ...
Needin' cars!
So ...
The cowboy ...
Being the true Texas boy that he is ...
Searched ...
And searched ...
And searched ...
Far and wide ...
For the ...
Perfect car ...
For his twin daughters.
Until ...
One day ...
He found it!
"IT'S A MUSTANG!" the twins exclaimed!
"It's NOT YET!" the mother muttered.
"It will be beautiful," the cowboy stated - in a thick Texas drawl.
And then ...
He put those girl twins ...
To work!
Courtney sanding a fender - or something.
Chloe - holding a fender - or something!
Note the Texas dog in the background with the red bandanna around his neck!
The trio - hanging fenders - or something!
Shuffling the body parts around the yard.
Chloe inspecting a fender - or something!
Sanding some more.
Courtney - looks like she knows what she's doing!
They seem to enjoy this Texas - let's build our own car - stuff!
Well ... I don't know that "enjoy" is the accurate word!
The cowboy is in heaven.
Building a car.
Spending time with his twin girls.
Making a BIG OL' REDNECK MESS OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR DRIVEWAY!
On the upside ... One day - It WILL be a car. I have no doubt. It will have an engine. And doors. It will even have seats and a steering wheel. When that day comes ... I will take a picture. And ... that will be the end of the "car building" around here ---- that is ... until that boy child turns 16 .... and we'll likely do it all over again!
*Note - To those new readers that have come to my site to read this post through Stumble Upon - welcome! And ... thanks for coming by. While you are here ... I hope you will take time to read some of my other posts - I'd love to share my stories with you. If you like my site - please subscribe to my site in your reader, as I post new stories daily and would be honored if you came back again . I'd also appreciate a thumbs up on this post if you liked it - thanks - Kellan
I had a busy day here at the BlogHer conference. In and out of very interesting and informative sessions, meeting lots of people, picking up free SWAG - FUN!
I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting so many other bloggers. Being so close to so many women (and men) that have so much in common - is just too much fun! I have been so lucky to meet so many fabulous people. I can't begin to list all the people I have met, as I have made A LOT of effort to "work the rooms". I told my sister today on the phone that she would not have recognized me at this conference - stepping so far out of my comfort zone - making myself get up from my seat and mingle with one group of bloggers after another. I have been very proud of myself for all the introductions I have made and feel honored to have met so many wonderful people. I SO JUST WANT to sit and let people come to me - you know - that is my nature --- but, it doesn't work like that here. There are so many people that you have to go out and meet people or you might never interact and I didn't come all the way out here to go home and not feel like I have met a ton of people.
At the cocktail party tonight - held down the street from our hotel at a nice club - I met Janet (Three & Holding), Sarah (Slouching Over 40), Jen (One Plus Two), Shannon (Rocks In My Dryer), Megan (AllMediocre.com), Amy (Amy In Ohio) - amongst bunches of other wonderful bloggers. I also had the opportunity to meet two of the writers from the TNT TV series Saving Grace and one of the actresses from The Closer as well (I can't remember their names right now - but it was very cool and they were very nice!), and also many of the TNT execs that were with them. I also met one of the Editors of Redbook Magazine and a writer for the New York Times.
It was so much fun and the food was great at the party.
Here are a few pictures from today:
I FINALLY met OHMommy (Classy Chaos). Here she is with JCK (Motherscribe). They are both fabulous women and I have loved both their blogs since I first began blogging almost 1 year ago. If you've never visited their blogs, you really should go and visit as they are two of the best writers on the web!
OHMommy (Classy Chaos) and Me - Isn't she darling! She's just as nice in person as I ever imagined she would be!
Kelly (Don Mills Diva), OHMommy (Classy Chaos) and me - I think we look very happy to be at this conference and I know I have been so happy to meet both of these women!
JCK (Motherscribe) and Slouching Mom (in the purple - can't see her in this picture) mingling at the cocktail party.
If you have ever visiting JCK's site - you know she loves her fishnet stockings! If you haven't read her stories about her fishnets, you need to go over sometime and read them - they are very funny. She looked fabulous tonight in her cocktail dress and fishnets - SMASHING!!
JCK and I at one of the sessions earlier in the day. Yes ... I have a sun dress on, as I am FROM TEXAS, but I wore a sweater all day long, as it is cold here! I took off the sweater in many of the conference rooms, as it got HOT. That sundress came in handy, except, of course, if I had to actually venture outside. It's beautiful weather here - but ... just a little chilly.
Had to show this picture of JCK because she looks so pretty and so happy. I think she is having a great time and I am too!
This is just some of the SWAG that I have received:
Look at all this stuff. Some of it I will keep and take home and some I will put in the "recycle room" they have set up. I can't believe all this stuff - the books and goodies! And ... I haven't even gotten all the things they have been giving away. I don't know how I am going to get all this stuff home - I may have to ship it.
This is a picture of the little SWAG gift bags I brought to give away. It's an On The Upside pen, tiny blue bag with KISSES candy inside and my blog business card attached. I made about 300 to give away and have about 50 left - so that tells you how busy I have been mingling and passing out cards! Alexis has to be given TREMENDOUS credit, as she helped her mommy make all these cute little gift bags and she was a fabulous helper! She would eat a candy and then stuff 2 in each bag - she would eat a candy and then stuff 2 in each bag - so CUTE! She also helped punch holes in the business cards and tie the ribbons. I have told everyone I give the gift bag about how Alexis helped me make them and they love that story! She's my sweet girl!
Since I have been here - my family has called many times to check in.
My sister wants to know how everything is going and wants me to make sure I visit San Francisco some if I can - I am going to try tomorrow and Sunday morning.
My Mom has called to check in also and to offer continuous support and advise - THANKS MOM!
Billy, my husband, calls to make sure I'm enjoying myself and update me on the kids.
Chloe called me to ask me where something was. YES --- I'm in SAN FRANCISCO and the child called me to FIND SOMETHING FOR HER! I was happy to oblige - cuz ... it is my JOB TO FIND ALL LOST THINGS - after all!
Little Billy called to say, "Hi Mom." I miss that boy!
Courtney hasn't called, but I'm sure she meant to.
Alexis called and left a message on my voice mail, "Mom, will you call me when you can - when you get this message," in a very tiny little voice - so sweet. She went on to say, "It's me - Alexis." I called her - my precious girl. I miss her!
Oh, Yes --- these are the red shoes I wore to the first cocktail party - just had to show you. They hurt like hell - but they are DARLING shoes - HA!
Hopefully I will have more pictures tomorrow.
Hope you all have a great weekend!
Thanks for checking in with me and being so supportive about my visit here to San Francisco and my attending this conference. I TRULY wish that you all were here so that I could meet all the bloggers I love so much!!
