One day, not long ago, Alexis came home from school. After discarding her backpack and eating her snack, she walked into my bedroom carrying a bottle of bright red fingernail polish and she said, in a very bossy tone, "I need you to put this on me before we go to dinner." I stopped what I was doing just long enough to grant her request. As I began painting her nails, she watched closely and then said, "This is such a beautiful color." I laughed.
She knows beautiful when she sees it. As does her brother - especially when he was small. Sometimes when we would go to Wal-Mart and wander through the jewelry department, there was a period (when he was three or four) that every time he saw a necklace with glistening crystals (plastic), he would just have to have it. He would hold the necklace in his little hands and look at me with those big brown eyes and say, "It's just beautiful, Mama." I always agreed.
One time, he saw a bunch of these necklaces in five colors and begged to have them. I bought them for my little boy and he wore them proudly, everywhere. He wore them around the house and when he would go out to the yard. I would look out the window and there I would see him with his beautiful necklaces wrapped around his neck - chasing after the dog, throwing rocks or climbing up a tree.
Some people worried that I would buy necklaces for my son, but not me, or his father either. We knew it was not threatening to our way of thinking. And, if one day he were to show a preference for that sort of thing, well ... we will just cross that bridge when we come to it. At the time ... how could I deny him this thing he so admired - they were beautiful.
He's ten now, my little boy. Today is his 11th Birthday. He doesn't wear necklaces anymore, but if he did, I'm not sure I would be so surprised, with all the girls he has to compete with around our house.
When he was born I wrote love poems to him that hung on the walls of his nursery. The first poem I wrote was:
Dear God,
In my world of little girls
Of hair bows and dolls and lace
I never imagined a little boy
Could ever find his place
But then one day ...
I looked above
And gazed up to the sky
You opened up your heavens gates
And smiled into my eyes
You gave to me a special child
For me to call my own
A little boy so wonderful
I never could have known
He smiles across the room at me
And giggles at my touch
I can't believe you gave to me
This child I love so much
When I look into his face
Or kiss his soft warm cheek
I feel the love you have for me
And often hear you speak ...
"How is it that ...
In your world of little girls
Of hair bows and dolls and lace
You never imagined a little boy
Could ever find his place?
Don't you know ...
I choose the child ...
For each and every home?
A special soul, in every child
For each to call their own?
When I chose this boy for you
I knew he'd find his place
I knew he'd melt into your heart
And fill the empty space
I know this child
I know his name
He's now your little boy
May Billy bring you love and faith
And happiness and joy."
I could have never imagined the love and faith and happiness and joy he would bring into my life. He is so special ... this boy child of mine.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SWEET BILLY!
WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!