I love my husband - I love him, I love him, I love him!!
But ... what is the matter with him?
We had some friends over for a Bar-B-Q last weekend. My friend and I were sitting out on the back porch talking. We could see, through the sliding door, my husband and her husband standing just inside in the kitchen. In their midst were children running wild, children climbing on furniture, a child with a bow and arrow, a child with a really long walking-stick ... just-a-swingin'-it round and round and round above his head (like a Samurai warrior). There in the midst of all this misbehavin' and out-of-control hellions - was my husband. He was gazing upon these antics and smiling. He'd look over at my friend's husband and they'd laugh. He watched all this chaos as if these were not HIS children ... but like he was watching it from outside of his sane mind. Like he was watching a bad cartoon.
I pushed the sliding door open and said, "Hon," and he turned and looked at me (with that look that indicated that he was already aware of what I was going to say). "W-h-a-t is going on?" I asked, controlling my tone while my mind was screaming "What is the matter with your brain?" He did not answer. I said, "Do you not see all this (I used an exaggerated sweeping hand gesture)? " He looked at his buddy and they chuckled. I then said (loudly), "You kids - OUTTA HERE!" and they all scattered, like the good little roaches that they are. I closed the door and went back to talk with my friend.
What is the matter with him?
Why does he not care about this stuff? How can he just stand there and watch this CRAZINESS and never once say, "Hey, you guys, you shouldn't be playing with that stuff in the house," or "Your mom is gonna' skin you if you break something." No ... he just stands there and watches (I swear) like ... I don't know what. Like he enjoys all of it. Like he wishes he could join in ("Here - give me a sword...").
The other day, I went outside to find my son throwing razor blades (Yep!) at a piece of sheet rock that my husband had propped up for him beside the garage (so my son could practice being a Ninja - I guess). Fortunately one of my girls came and said, "Do you know The Boy is throwing razor blades at a piece of sheet rock?" I went outside, confiscated the razor blades, threw the sheet-rock target into the trash and looked at my husband and said, "What is the matter with your brain?"
One time, I went outside to find my tiny little boy (7 years old) 60 or so feet up in the air, in the bucket of my husband's bucket truck - up above the trees, over the electrical lines - up in the SKY. On the ground, near the truck, was my husband with his hand firmly gripping the joy-stick that was raising this 7 year old boy (his son) up and down, up and down, up and down. I said, "Bring him down please," and pulled my son from the bucket. I grabbed my little boy's hand and began walking to the house, my son whining, "Aw Mom - Dad was watchin' me." I looked down at him and said, "I SAW him watchin' you," and then turned to my husband and said, "What is the matter with your brain?"
I know I am the tough one, the mean one, the not-fun one ... but, is it too much to ask for this husband of mine to join me in the RAISING OF THESE CHILDREN?
On the upside ... I love him, I love him, I love him!!!!!!