Remember in May - when I was on TV?
Remember?
That interview I did on one of our local morning television shows ?
It was a good interview - I thought.
I enjoyed it.
I was famous - for a whole hour - here in my home city.
Well ...
I guess word is getting around ...
I guess it was only a matter of time ...
That I would one day ...
Be contacted by a prime-time television show!
YES - I was.
Yes - it came in the form of an e-mail from a producer of the CBS show - inviting me to consider being a ...swap-ie.
I won't name the title of the show - as I am not sure I am supposed to because ...
I declined.
It's really ...
THE LAST THING I NEED!
For the whole nation to sit down, turn on their televisions and ...
See me ...
Shipped off to some other lady's house in maybe - Iowa ... and have her shipped into mine!
For the whole nation to tune in to see ...
Me ... slopping pigs or milking cows ...
Or ...
Driving a tractor or bailing hay on a family farm.
All the while ... the mom-replacing-me would be showin' the world ...
All those cars sitting in my driveway ...
Hear stories about how we find dead deer in our pool and how the father of the On The Upside household lasso's the deer, loads it into a wheel barrel and carts it off into the woods and dumps the poor thing - with his little redneck son by his side.
For the whole nation to come into my house and witness the fact that my children take baths only every few days or so and farther between ... if they have been swimming.
For the whole nation to look inside my laundry room and SEE those baskets of white socks that I am NEVER going to match up. That I just go out and buy new socks ... so I don't have to do this duty!
For the whole nation to see that I allow my forth child to eat rotten fruit.
For the whole nation to see that I have more shoes than I have places I will ever where so many shoes - to!
For the whole nation to hear about how I rely on our neighbors to castrate our cats.
For the whole nation to hear and possibly even see how the youngest On The Upside girl - only 7 years old - is allowed to wear little-girl-make-up.
For the whole nation to hear how the mother of the On The Upside family is sometimes so preoccupied that she will agree to most anything.
For the whole nation to see and hear how the boy child is destined to be a carnie.
For the whole nation to see how the On The Upside mother sometimes tells the small daughter that armadillo tails are really unicorn horns.
For the whole nation to find out that the only reason we go to church is because the 7 year old wakes the entire On The Upside household with LOUD SCREAMS on Sunday mornings - to go church - like the loudest church bell you have ever heard.
For the whole nation to see how the On The Upside kids sometimes wear their pajamas all day long, stay up way too late at night and have to fix themselves bowls of Captain Crunch cereal for lunch.
Oh, yes ... and for the whole nation to learn about the cowboy ghost that lives in our upstairs hallway.
For the whole nation to come into my house and learn that ... while I do help run my husband's electrical contracting business, maintain and run a household, monitor and chauffeur and feed and clothe and teach and raise - 4 children and 2 dogs and 2 cats and ... volunteer on the board of the PTA and in the school's of my children, and ... live a very busy life of cleaning and shopping and paying bills and running here and there ... that I also ... spend some of my time BLOGGING!
Nooooooooo ...
I don't need the whole nation to learn these things.
See these things.
Hear about these things.
I declined.
I just couldn't imagine any good coming from me being shipped off to some other family's house to - take care of and feed their children or interact with a strange man I would likely not like near as well as I like my own.
I could not imagine any good coming from my children being introduced to a potentially nicer mother or a woman that might influence them to believe that things are not being done correctly 'round here!
NOPE!
I declined.
If I'm going to be featured on a reality TV show ...
I'm holding out for ...
SURVIVOR!
I figure I have way more experience and years of useful covert tactics to tackle a show like that! And ... the worst things I might be expected to do is eat some bugs or sleep in the jungle with some snakes or some monkeys. I'm already living in a house full of monkeys and ... I've known worse things than eating bugs. *It's raising children and pleasin' husbands I'm not so great at!*
Or maybe ... Extreme Makeover!
I'd be open to Ty Pennington coming down here to Texas ...
He doesn't even have to build me a new house ...
He can build me a bookcase - I'll just stand there and help him for an hour and ... wipe the sweat off his brow ...
On the upside ... Maybe one day they'll be tripping over themselves just to get at me (tee hee). Right now - all I got is this blog and that other blog. The first of which my littlest daughter still on occasion calls ... On The Outside. I keep telling her, "It's ON THE UPSIDE - UPSIDE!" *sigh*