I was in such a deep sleep.
It was cold in my room and my bed was nice and cozy. My pillows and down comforter never feel as soft and cuddly as they do in the morning after all the kids are out of the house and I am home alone in a quiet room and snuggled in my bed.
I was not dreaming or stirring or wakeful - I was deep into the darkness of my empty mind and I was completely at peace.
That was .... until .....
The phone rang.
CRAP!
"Hello," I always try to sound like I am awake when I answer the phone early in the morning. I never want anyone to realize that I have climbed back into bed - when the rest of the world is awake and living their lives.
"Mom," it is my son. I love how he speaks to me when he calls me on the phone. Honestly ... he is the nicest to me of all my kids, I was thinking and then it occurs to me that ... he is also the only of my children that often calls from school - BECAUSE. HE. HAS. FORGOTTEN. SOMETHING!
"Yes," I say, cautiously.
"Am I going to buy pictures today, Mom?" his voice is so sweet.
CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!
I know the answer, but my groggy mind asks the question anyway, "Is today picture day?"
"Yes, Mom. Am I going to buy pictures?"
"It's group picture day today, right? They are just taking class pictures, right?" Now I am wide awake and sitting up in my nice cozy bed with my cuddly pillows propped behind my back.
"Yes Mom," his voice is still so soft and sweet.
"I didn't send money?" I also knew this answer.
"No. Am I going to buy pictures?" he just keeps asking.
CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!
"Do you want to buy pictures?" I ask, knowing full well that this is not something a small 10 year old boy should be deciding, but so hoping he will say "No, I don't care," and I can push the guilt under my pillow, lay back down, relax and go back to sleep.
"Everyone is buying pictures, Mom," he says softly, never once fluctuating his monotone voice and I imagine him looking around the classroom at his classmates, as we speak, walking their picture-order-forms-with-money up to the teacher's desk - poor Little Billy ... the only neglected child who has no form or money because his mother is hibernating at home while the rest of the children's mothers did their picture-ordering-duty and, of course, are not hibernating, but ... out in the world on this early morning ... living their lives.
"Can you bring money, Mom?" he is the sweetest thing.
CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!
Now ... I have been a mother long enough to know that this is where the conversation was going - I KNEW!
I was just stalling.
"I'll get the money up there, Sweetie," I say, and throw my warm legs over the side of my bed.
"Thanks, Mom," he hangs up.
On the upside ... Now, those that don't know me, would imagine that I jumped out of bed, raced to get myself dressed, ran a brush through my hair, put on my shoes, grabbed my purse and ran up to the school to give my son his picture money so he would not be the only child in his class that did not purchase the 5th grade Class Photo of 2008. But ... those that do know me - like my family and close friends - they know this is probably not the way things happened - at all. They would more likely assume that I slithered out of bed (grumbling A LOT), stumbled over to the window of my bedroom, peeked through the blinds, spied my husband's truck (which indicates that he is still home) and then scribbled out a check quickly, raced like a crazy woman through my house, searching frantically for the father of this boy child - placed the check in his hand and BEGGED HIM TO TAKE THE BOY HIS PICTURE MONEY!
My friends and family would be right - THAT'S WHAT I DID! And then ... I crawled back into my cozy bed.