Over the weekend, we had a tragedy hit our family.
It's not anything we won't overcome, and fortunately it does not involve the health or death of a human family member. But, it does involve the death of one our precious pets.
Our sweet Pomeranian, Barbie, got out of our yard and went out on the road in front of our house and was hit by a car (on Friday).
A woman walking saw the accident and stopped, pulled Barbie off the road and was then quickly assisted by another woman driving by. The other woman happened to have her own dog in her car and was on her way to the veterinarian. She urged the first women to help her load Barbie into her car and they then both rushed to take her to the vet. They returned a short while later and went from door to door (not an easy task in our large neighborhood) looking for the owners of the injured dog. I had already been made aware that Barbie had been hit (from our next door neighbors) and was waiting for the ladies to return. When they did, they allowed me to follow them back to the clinic.
It was there that I was given the great opportunity to get to know these 2 women that took time out of their lives (several hours) and showed tremendous kindness and concern for not just our precious family pet, but an animal in need of help.
Our sweet Barbie was injured too badly to save her and so I made the decision (with the help of the veterinarian) to put her to sleep. I was with her when she died.
I thanked these women over and over for taking her so quickly to the vet, as if it had not been for their kindness and immediate decision to handle the situation, she might have suffered further out on the road. Because she was at the clinic and treated with fluids and pain medications, she was stabilized and out of pain when I saw her. My family and I were relieved to know that she was so loved in her final moments and protected from the pain that might have surely been in store for her.
We will miss our beloved pet ...
Barbie's death has affected Alexis the most, as Barbie was her dog - a gift to her when she was 4 years old. She immediately gave this precious pup the name of Barbie, as Alexis loved Barbies. I found this written on the white board in Alexis' room ...
It says: Dear God, Please let Barbie live a happy life in Heaven and let her meet all the dogs of ours that have died and play with them and someday I want to see her in Heaven. Amen.
I totally believe that God will answer Alexis' prayer - totally!
*********************
While this has been devastating to our family, there are far worse things that can happen in one's life. I was reminded of this fact on Saturday when I went over to visit my friend Angie at her site Keep Believing. Angie wrote a post on Friday called, The Worst Results Ever that just broke my heart. I beg you to go over and offer Angie your kind words, your words of support, your words of wisdom, your prayers - during this truly devastating and difficult time in her a Brian's lives.
I told those women that stopped to help my dog that, "We women - we need to just take over the world," and I was joking at the time, but what I meant was that there are no more compassionate and caring human beings ... than women. We gather and we rally and we support and we make the hard decisions.
Please go over and show Angie your love, as her sweet husband, Brian, is struggling and is in the final days of his life. Angie needs our shoulders and ears and arms and hearts and prayers.
My husband came to bed a couple nights ago while I was sitting up reading a book and he walked up, took his jeans and red t-shirt off and dropped them on the floor on his side of the bed, as he does every night. And then he said, "I think that dog's finally trained." He was referring to our two year old Pomeranian, Barbie.
When my husband made this comment about the pup finally being trained, I didn't even ask what he meant as I assumed that he meant that she had gone easily into her crate. I simply said, "She's been trained. It's you that's not trained." He just laughed and crawled into bed.
He knew exactly what I meant when I made this comment. The puppy is pretty well trained, but she will not listen to a word he says, because I am the alpha dog in our family. She listens to most anything I tell her to do, because ... I am the alpha dog. My husband knows this as well. He doesn't necessarily like it or even know how it happened, but he knows.
I became aware that I was the alpha dog once we got Barbie. We also have another dog (a five year old Golden Retriever) named Buddy. I was the leader of the pack with Buddy before Barbie ever came along, but never exactly realized it until her arrival. Our family order goes: Me, Husband, Twins (equal on the totem pole), Son, Princess, Buddy, Barbie and then the three cats (Garfield, Snape and Boo). At least that is the order the dogs relate to. And I think if my husband were to have to admit this honestly, he would agree that this is probably the order of things.
I didn't choose this alpha position. I don't think I was really even aware of what it meant until I started watching The Dog Whisperer (Cesar Millan), on TV. He's amazing - that guy- with those dogs. Anyway, I've watched him a lot over the past year or so and agree with much of what he says on his show, with regard to dogs. And one of the main emphasis' he makes - show after show- is that dogs see their family's as a pack and therefore need to have established or establish themselves, a leader. In our family, I was already the leader before these canines came along - so no need to change that, as far as I was concerned. They see me as the alpha dog.
My husband doesn't watch this show as often (if ever) as I, and probably doesn't even realize all this "alpha" stuff; therefore, he gets his ego hurt that these dogs won't listen to him. According to Cesar Millan, everyone (all humans) should be able to control these dogs - we should all be their leaders - as we are the humans. In my house, pretty much everyone is following me - especially the dogs.
My kids are always arguing about who's the boss. "You're not the boss of me," The Princess will tell her big brother. And then she will put her hands on her hips and turn her chin up in the air and announce, "Mom's the boss of everybody." I often tell my kids that their daddy is really the boss of everybody - just so they know.
Recently, The Princess came to me and asked, "Are you in charge?" to which I said, "Yes." She then said, "Of everybody?" I said, "Well, I'm in charge of all you kids," and she smiled and walked away. I think she is trying to clear this concept up. I honestly think she may very well believe that I'm in charge of everybody - in the whole world. I didn't clarify that for her, as it didn't occur to me that she might think this until she left my room. That's okay - if she believes I'm in charge of everybody in the whole world - I kind of like her thinking I'm that powerful; like I have super powers or something. She's only six ... she'll find out soon enough how very little power I actually have.
On the upside (for my husband) ... for the most part, the "alpha dog" position SUCKS! He's not missing anything.
It was about this time, fourteen years ago, that we bought our house.
My mother and I had been out driving, drove by this house with a For Sale sign on it - I called my realtor and asked him to meet us quickly at the house to show it to me. By 6:00 p.m. that evening we had made an offer on the house, contingent on the sale of our other house. One month later, we were moving in.
That afternoon, when my realtor rushed over to show me the house, I entered the property and didn't even have to go inside the house - I knew I wanted to buy it. It had a huge 1 acre yard that was entirely fenced in and I knew this would be the perfect home for our family. My twins were 2 years old at the time.
So ... we bought it and moved in and have lived here ever since.
I have since realized that this is not the house of my dreams, but it has become the house my children have grown up in and it is our home. I think we will live in this house for the rest of our lives.
There are many special things about our house - but, not necessarily special to the naked eye. One of those things is ...
the cowboy ghost ...
that lives in the upstairs hallway leading to our bedrooms.
YES - a ghost!
I had seen the ghost many times, after we first moved in. I would be sitting in our little den area down by our kitchen and every so often - about 2 times a month - I would catch a glimpse of the ghost in the upstairs hallway.
I was always surprised and startled.
I was always confused.
I woud ALWAYS get up and go inspect the hallway and the bathroom - trying desperately to explain what I had seen.
The ghost would move from right to left. From my daughters' bedroom, across the hallway and then into the bathroom - a tall, dark shadow. That's the only time I ever saw him and that's all he ever did - move across the hallway from right to left. I never saw him go back again and I never saw him anywhere else in the house.
I was, however, the only one that ever saw the ghost and I never mentioned that I had seen him to anyone - not even my husband. That is, not until ...
One evening, my mother made the comment, "Did you know that there's a ghost in your upstairs hallway?"
I, of course, perked up to this statement. I did not offer my experiences - I requested that she tell me what she had seen.
She said, "He's tall and he wears black. He wears a hat and a trench coat and boots. He moves across the hallway, from the girls' room over to the bathroom."
She thought she was telling me something I didn't know. I said, "I know - I've seen him too," and went on to explain that she had perfectly described the ghost I had seen many times before.
My mother and I sat there and could not believe that we had, in fact, confirmed our sightings - without even realizing or trying. It was spectacular.
I have gone on to tell people about the ghost, but don't encourage the talk around my smaller children, as when they pick up on the idea, it sort of scares them.
About 8 years after we bought the house, we added on a new master bedroom. We also tore down some walls in our kitchen and den area and renovated our kitchen/dining room/living room area. Since that renovation, and redesigning our den, we no longer have the seating arranged in such a way that you can sit at the bottom of the stairs and look up. Because of this, I have not sighted the ghost in a long time - at least not in the hallway.
When we added the master bedroom and then moved in - I began to sense that the ghost was in our room.
There have been many nights when I will sense that there is someone sitting (I can feel the movement) at the foot of my bed. When this happens, I will bolt up in my bed, expecting to see a cat or one of my children.
There never is.
I am not afraid of our ghost, as he has never done anything other than wander. I believe he is a lost cowboy.
The neighborhood I live in is an area where Indians lived. The name of our neighborhood is named after these Indians. There are caves near our house that have been said to have drawings - left behind by those Indians.
Like I said, I am not afraid. He's a lost cowboy and I am perfectly content letting him live in the upstairs hallway of our house. I'm even okay with him sitting at the foot of my bed watching me sleep.
But ... if he decides to move again - if he gets it in his head to crawl in bed next to me ... he needs to leave his trench coat thrown across the chair and his boots on the floor.
I guess he can leave the hat on.
I'm a sucker for cowboy hats.
(I wrote this post for Suz, over at Busy Bee - she wanted to hear the story.)
Little Billy learned to snow ski when he was five years old.
That year, we went to Red River, NM to ski. Little Billy got pretty good, really fast. And ... he was fast. He was, aside from me, the only one in our family skiing fast. My husband, Courtney and Chloe had also just learned how to ski and were not so fast or capable yet, so it was left up to me to try to, not only keep an on those three, but keep up with Little Billy as well. And he was not happy waiting on me.
We would go up the ski lift to the top of the mountain, the five of us, get off the lift and Little Billy would immediately take his position in our family line at the top of the slope, as if he was actually going to ski with the rest of his family. But then ... he would (all three feet of him) suddenly bend at the waist, lean over with his orange Mohawk ski cap aimed down the hill, tuck his stubby ski poles under his stubby little arms, take the stance of a professional ski racer and ... he was gone! Down the hill, miles ahead of the rest of us, as fast and in as straight a line as he could go, since that allowed for the greatest amount of speed. Me ... I'm still at the top of the slope screaming (because he's only 5), "Little Billy - slow down! Wait for me! Ski back and forth! You're gonna' fall and kill yourself goin' that fast! Back and forth, back and forth," I'd be screaming, as I would abandon the rest of my family to follow after my five year old ski devil.
Sometimes he'd be skiing along and he'd say, "Watch this Mom," and he'd head straight towards a small hill, fly up into the air in a hunched position, land successfully on the other side and turn back at me and smile a big ol' smile. Other times, he would say, "Watch this," and suddenly he'd veer off the slope into the woods (on no apparent path), swerve in and out of the trees (me watching only a vague orange speck moving way too fast through the forest) and then come out somewhere down below me, emerging out of the woods most confidently.
If you have ever skied, you know that it is best if you follow the markers to keep you on the slopes that are appropriate for your level of skiing (ie: green for beginners, blue for intermediate and black for very experienced - we stayed mostly on the green). Little Billy was unaware of these signs and only turned - to stay on our paths - when he would hear me yell, "Turn Billy! Turn!" and then he would suddenly make a very dangerous right turn onto the correct path.
This worked most of the time. When it did not, I would become furious because he would ski so fast and so far ahead of me, sometimes he would go beyond the path too far before I could tell him to turn and then he would come to an abrupt stop. He would always smile at the very dirty look I would give him. He would then have to sit down, take off his skies and either walk up the hill to the green path turn-off or, more commonly, I would have to go to where he was and take off his and my skies and carry both sets back up the hill, sometimes quite a ways, to the turn off path.
And ... you know I was not doing this in silence. I was telling him, "If I have told you once, I have told you a million times ... to slow down. If you would just listen to me, we wouldn't be in this situation. I'm too old to be hauling two sets of skies up any hill in this altitude, simply because you refuse to listen to me." He stayed silent, mostly.
Once, when this mishap occurred one too many times and Little Billy missed this turn-off up ahead, I was screaming, "I told you to slow down! You are just gonna' have to walk up here. I am not coming down there again to help you." About this time, there was this boy riding the ski lift, just above our heads, that I heard say, "Gosh, what a mean mom. Look, he's stuck down there." I looked up at that boy, moving away from me swiftly on the ski lift and screamed, "You don't know how many times he has done this," and then decided that my complaints were surly falling on deaf ears and shut up.
I am certainly not a perfect mom and I am certainly not the best mom, but ... that boy on the ski lift was wrong when he said I was a mean mom.
If he only knew how many miles I have actually skied over the past five years, to keep up with that darling little boy in that Mohawk ski cap, he might just see things differently. If he really understood how difficult a thing this is for a woman of my age, he might just understand such a mother expressing her fatigue and frustration in a moment of harsh words. If he only knew how far I have actually let out the slack on the invisible line that I have attached to that little boy, in order to let him go out into the world, feel the wind in his face and soar as fast as he can ... down a mountain (against my better judgement) ... then maybe he would know.
I was out-voted this year (by my husband) and we were not able to take our regular Christmas ski trip, as he didn't feel as though he could get away from work. I am not happy.
On the upside ... I will be a little older when we are able to go skiing again and that is obviously not good, except that ... it gives me that much more time (between now and then) to work up the stamina to ... try to keep up with my dare-devil son.
I want to thank everyone for all the prayers for our sweet little baby. It is a difficult time for our family and we are grateful for all the thoughts and prayers. We are just taking it one day at a time.
The baby seems to be doing okay for now. He is a fighter, but he has a long road ahead, as does his parents (my nephew and his girlfriend) and all of our families. We will do all we can do and surround this child with our love and support and pray that God stays close and keeps a merciful hand on our little boy.
Please continue to keep our baby and his parents in your thoughts and prayers. Please pray for the doctors and nurses taking care of him. I truly believe in the power of prayer, as I know many of you do! It is in God's hands.
Thank you so much for your support and kindness to me and my family. Thank you for showing so much love and concern for this precious little boy!
(*Note - this precious picture is of our baby - it is his sweet little hand*)
On March 5, 2008, I published a post, requesting prayers for a sweet baby that was born into our family. He is my great-nephew, born to my sister's son, Cody, and his girlfriend. This child was born at 24 weeks on March 4, 2008 and weighed right at 1lb. and was 11" long.
When I posted those early updates about "Our Baby", I was hesitant to mention this baby's name or even show complete photos of his face and body, for several reasons, but primarily because I don't think we were sure our baby was going to survive. I wanted to share him, but was afraid that I was invading the privacy of his parents and also very afraid that he might not make it - therefore, showing his picture or mentioning his name - felt wrong.
Over the course of the past several months, this baby became known, by the nurses in the neonatal ICU, as their miracle baby, as he beat many, many odds. He overcame many obstacles and he continued to grow stronger and make progress each and every day.
This baby ...
Our baby ...
His name is Brazelton (Braz).
He is now nearly 6 lbs. and ...
He went home Tuesday!!!
He truly is a miracle baby and I completely believe that his progress - his survival - was the result of the many, many prayers that were sent to heaven on his behalf.
I thank you.
My sister thanks you.
My mother thanks you.
My nephew and his girlfriend, thank you.
We ALL thank ALL of you for your prayers and thoughts for "Our Baby".
I am so happy to say ---- he is home!
Here he is at home in his own bassinet! Could he be anymore precious?
"Mom - how long do you plan to live?" Little Billy is sitting behind me in his seat in the van.
"Oh, I hope I live to at least 80," I answer quickly.
"That's all?" he is surprised. "I have 89 years still. I'm going to live to 100 years old."
"Well, I hope you do, Sweetie," I look at my darling son in the rear view mirror. "But ... make sure you never blink," I say, and giggle.
"Why?" he is confused.
"Because it passes by in a flash. It seems like a long time, but it will be over before you know it and you don't want to miss a thing. Don't blink."
There is this Bar-B-Q place near my house that is known for its delicious barbecued beef brisket and ribs. I love the brisket and smoked turkey the best. But, my favorite thing about this place is its yummy creamed corn.
My sister sometimes teases me about my love of food. She thinks I obsess over food and I think she is probably right. It's not that I eat all the time or gorge myself at family gatherings - it's just obvious to her that I take tremendous delight in delicious foods. It's true - when I find a food that I just love, I think about that food a lot. I crave it and make time in my life to search it out and enjoy it - over and over again.
Imagine all the foods in the world that we will never try in our lifetime. It is something not many people think of or even care about, I am sure. But ... it is one of those things that, if we had the opportunity, might enrich our lives in ways we might never imagine.
This is true of all of life's experiences. Unless we take the time to truly see the opportunities that cross our paths and stop and taste the deliciousness of the moment - we might never experience the details of life. Meet the people that can change our destiny. Hear the words that might alter our perceptions.
When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a Mack truck driver when I grew up. I wanted a beautiful, red Mack truck. Somewhere along the path of my life, I changed my mind about joining the trucking union and pursuing a life as a truck driver. I can't tell you the exact moment or the words, but ... something happened that altered my decision. Life has a way of doing that to us - placing people in our paths or thoughts in our minds that form our beliefs and desires and interpretations. It might be something truly magnificent that will alter our course, or it might be something subtle - like creamed corn.
I went to drop Alexis off at choir practice a few weeks ago - it was beginning to rain. After leaving her at the church and driving away, I noticed a nicely dressed woman standing at the bus stop near the church. In the sky above our heads, the clouds were dark and ominous. I could see the rain coming.
I drove past the woman thinking about how wet she was going to get - standing there on the sidewalk in her nice clothes and shoes. I became worried for her. Sad for her.
I turned the corner at the stop light and then made the quick decision to turn again back into the church parking lot. I drove near the woman standing at the bus stop, rolled my passenger side window down and gestured for her to come over. When she approached the car, I reached over and handed her an umbrella I had stashed in the pocket of my door. "Here - take this umbrella," I insisted, "You are going to get soaked."
The woman smiled and thanked me. She went on, maybe too long, about how generous I was to take the time to stop and help her. I drove off and as I turned onto the street and headed towards my house, the sky opened up and the rain poured down.
I don't know if this one event affected this woman's life in any significant way - maybe it did - maybe it did not. What I do know is how this event affected mine. I was the person that crossed this woman's path on this one day, and she mine and ... when I stopped my life for just one moment, to see her ... I was forced to make a decision. The decision I made was - to help her and ... I will always remember that red umbrella and the smile it put on a stranger's face.
I have lots of umbrellas.
That creamed corn that I love is not significant in the scheme of things, but ... it makes me happy when I eat it. It's sweet and smooth. It's especially delicious and I am affected somehow, every time I enjoy it.
I hope I live to be 80 years old. I hope I never have to be a Mack truck driver to make a living. I hope I am able to enjoy lots of new foods in the course of the rest of my life and ... I hope I remember to stop my life every now and then to acknowledge the people that cross my path. The events that unravel. The words spoken with meaning and especially those uttered quietly.
I need to remember that life is full of opportunity and gifts and I need to remind myself - like I suggested to my little son - to keep my eyes and mind wide open. Keep my vision clear and my awareness sharp and ... not to blink.
I love you very much and I thank God every day for choosing me to be your mother.
Merry Christmas
My Sweet Children
You are the JOY of my life!
I'd also like to wish our family and friends a very Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year - we love you all!
And ... to YOU - my blogging friends - I love all of you guys and I wish you a Happy Holidays and look forward to spending lots of time with you in 2009!
PS ... We are off on our family winter vacation just after Christmas. The next time you hear from me I will hopefully have lots of pictures of the On The Upside family playing in the Utah snow - WOO HOO!
This is a picture of my sister and I when we were little. It has been blown up and hangs on the wall of our family room.
In the picture, my sister is the prissy one (on the right). The one with the tidy, clean dress and pulled up socks. The one who had a mother that cared about the way she looked (just kidding - but it looks like we aren't even from the same family - like I just wandered up and sat down - look at my sweaty hair - I guess I had been running around.). She was always the proper one. The straight-laced one. She was the apple of our father's eye.
She's still pretty prissy. She's always telling me, "Kellan, you are just too pretty to not take care of your toes."
She's a teacher and well educated. She's made a good life for herself. She is funny and always has a funny story to tell. She can make me laugh like no one else. She is giving and kind. And ... she can spell most any word (this amazes me - being the "spelling-idiot" that I am).
We are opposites, my sister and I - in a lot of ways - just like in the picture. But ... that has not kept us from being friends.
We are not the type of sisters that spend every moment together. We are not the type of sisters that see eye-to-eye on everything. We are not the type of sisters that hug and kiss when we see each other.
But ... I have this picture on the wall of my family room for several reasons:
I love that it depicts our differences
I love that ... every time I walk by it ... it makes me smile
I love being reminded that we were so little ... once
I love that she's wearing those sunglasses and thinks she's so cool
I love the looks on our faces
I love that her hair's perfect and mine is not
I love that it is of my sister and I
I love that I get to see it everyday
I love this picture
I'm lucky to have this picture ....... I'm lucky to have this sister.
I want there to be snow - but there is never snow where I live.
Usually, we try to get away around Christmas or Spring Break to go skiing - then I get to see the snow and it makes me very happy.
This year we didn't go on our regular ski trip at Christmas time and I think we are going to the beach during Spring Break (blah!).
This weekend - this is where I am:
Yes - during even the winter months - we go to the lake.
Now, it is chilly here this weekend (54 or so), but it is still beautiful.
We have a house on this lake - a townhouse. We spend a lot of time in the summer up here and some weekends during the winter. It's nice to come here to just relax and get away from home.
We don't do much when we come here in the winter.
We eat out a lot. We go to movies. We go to Walmart. We rent movies. We watch TV. We sometimes play games. We take walks. We ride around in our golf cart. We visit with friends. We fish. We feed the ducks. We take naps.
We do all these same things in the summer - only add in:
Lots of swimming. Lots of boating. Water skiing. Wake boarding. Jet Skiing. Picnics. Eating outdoors. Long evenings out on the decks.
On Friday I asked my kids, "Do you want to go to the lake?" and they all screamed, "Yes, Yes, Yes!"
So, we came.
This is what the kids are mostly doing:
Playing Guitar Hero. They think they are on vacation and they aren't much help, when help is needed. That's okay, this weekend - they too, deserve a break.
Here is a little tour of our place:
This is our bedroom. Notice my laptop on the bed - never go anywhere without my laptop.
This is the "bunk room" where the older girls sleep and hang out with their friends. They made a complete mess of it before I had a chance to take a good picture.
This blurry picture is of my mom's room. We call it her room because she is often here with us all summer long - she's here almost as much as we are. This also serves as our guest bedroom.
This is Little Billy's bedroom. We made this little room for him in the attic space above the garage. It's a very comfortable and cute little room. He has his toys and TV - it couldn't be more perfect for a little boy.
This is Alexis' room. We made her a little room in a closet - yes, a closet. Since the master bedroom has this really large closet with built in cabinets and all, we decided when she was just a baby to stick her crib in there - give her her own little space. As she has grown, we changed out the crib for a toddler bed and decorated it with her toys and pictures. She is due for a bigger bed and we plan to give her a new one this summer - if it will fit in the closet. Don't tell her it is a closet - she doesn't know - she just calls it "her little room". It is precious and just right for her.
Our house has officially 3 bedrooms and 4 baths. But ... people tease me all the time that if any space is large enough, I'll find a way to make a bedroom out of it and stick a bed in there for some kid to sleep on - and it is true. There is not on foot of unused space in the house - not one inch. Since it is a lake house and we didn't need the closet space (we only ever wear swimsuits and shorts) - the closet was perfect for her and - she has her own bathroom to boot.
This is not her bathroom, this is my mothers.
This is my bathroom.
This is our little kitchen (note all the slushie cups along the wall - we make lots of slushies and smoothies at the lake).
This is our dining room.
This is the living room - before the kids took it over for Guitar Hero.
This is the upper deck. We spend lots of time up here in the summer - sunbathing and looking at stars.
This is the lower deck. We spend lots of evenings out here - fishing and visiting with friends. This is also where the kids swim and the boat (to the right - can't see it) is right here for us to go out whenever we wish. The Jet Ski is kept here also.
This is a view of the lower deck from the other direction.
God has been so good to me and my family. We are lucky to have this beautiful retreat and I just wanted to share it with you.
Wouldn't it be fun to have a ladies weekend here - sit around, the bunch of us - talk about our kids (because they wouldn't be with us - BTW) - share our stories - drink a few Margaritas or iced tea - listen to some music. I wish we could do that!
We love this place.
Thanks for letting me share it with you.
Now .... I'm going to go back to what I've been doing most of the weekend.
I don't know about you, but I've been needing this relaxing weekend. I hope you are having a relaxing weekend too!
So ... the other day ... when our yellow cat - Garfield - came home - CASTRATED ... I could not have been more pleased!
With Garfield, we open the door - let him in to eat and sleep and then let him out when he wants out and he wanders around at night and comes back when he pleases. Sometimes ... he is gone for several days at a time.
Apparently ... over the course of the past several weeks, he has been, not only, going in and out of our house to sleep and eat - but in and out of someone else's house as well - because ... his other family decided to have poor Garfield - FIXED!
Like I said ... I could not have been more pleased!
I can now cross that worry off of my to-do list - YIPPIE!
Along with the shots - as I have to assume his other family probably got those for him as well - took care of all of it while he was in for the snip-snip operation.
My kids were not at all pleased.
They were quite distressed.
"He's our cat," they all screamed, upon hearing (and seeing) the news. "We need to get a collar and put a tag on it that says 'This is Garfield and he HAS A HOME - SEND HIM BACK HOME.'" They were not happy - at all.
I tried to explain to these kids that this was a good thing - how the other family was there to also take care of him if he wandered by and all - how the other family could be the one to continue to take care of the veterinary bills - all good!
But, they didn't want to hear any of it.
On the upside ... We honestly believed that he had come back - trying to maybe get away from the other family that had done this to him, but ... he's gone again. And ... just for the record - when he comes back again - and he will - I AM NOT BUYING THAT CAT A COLLAR! This is the pefect arrangement as far as I am concerned.
That interview I did on one of our local morning television shows ?
It was a good interview - I thought.
I enjoyed it.
I was famous - for a whole hour - here in my home city.
Well ...
I guess word is getting around ...
I guess it was only a matter of time ...
That I would one day ...
Be contacted by a prime-time television show!
YES - I was.
Yes - it came in the form of an e-mail from a producer of the CBS show - inviting me to consider being a ...swap-ie.
I won't name the title of the show - as I am not sure I am supposed to because ...
I declined.
It's really ...
THE LAST THING I NEED!
For the whole nation to sit down, turn on their televisions and ...
See me ...
Shipped off to some other lady's house in maybe - Iowa ... and have her shipped into mine!
For the whole nation to tune in to see ...
Me ... slopping pigs or milking cows ...
Or ...
Driving a tractor or bailing hay on a family farm.
All the while ... the mom-replacing-me would be showin' the world ...
All those cars sitting in my driveway ...
Hear stories about how we find dead deer in our pool and how the father of the On The Upside household lasso's the deer, loads it into a wheel barrel and carts it off into the woods and dumps the poor thing - with his little redneck son by his side.
For the whole nation to come into my house and witness the fact that my children take baths only every few days or so and farther between ... if they have been swimming.
For the whole nation to look inside my laundry room and SEE those baskets of white socks that I am NEVER going to match up. That I just go out and buy new socks ... so I don't have to do this duty!
For the whole nation to see that I allow my forth child to eat rotten fruit.
For the whole nation to see that I have more shoes than I have places I will ever where so many shoes - to!
For the whole nation to hear about how I rely on our neighbors to castrate our cats.
For the whole nation to hear and possibly even see how the youngest On The Upside girl - only 7 years old - is allowed to wear little-girl-make-up.
For the whole nation to hear how the mother of the On The Upside family is sometimes so preoccupied that she will agree to most anything.
For the whole nation to see and hear how the boy child is destined to be a carnie.
For the whole nation to see how the On The Upside mother sometimes tells the small daughter that armadillo tails are really unicorn horns.
For the whole nation to find out that the only reason we go to church is because the 7 year old wakes the entire On The Upside household with LOUD SCREAMS on Sunday mornings - to go church - like the loudest church bell you have ever heard.
For the whole nation to see how the On The Upside kids sometimes wear their pajamas all day long, stay up way too late at night and have to fix themselves bowls of Captain Crunch cereal for lunch.
Oh, yes ... and for the whole nation to learn about the cowboy ghost that lives in our upstairs hallway.
For the whole nation to come into my house and learn that ... while I do help run my husband's electrical contracting business, maintain and run a household, monitor and chauffeur and feed and clothe and teach and raise - 4 children and 2 dogs and 2 cats and ... volunteer on the board of the PTA and in the school's of my children, and ... live a very busy life of cleaning and shopping and paying bills and running here and there ... that I also ... spend some of my time BLOGGING!
Nooooooooo ...
I don't need the whole nation to learn these things.
See these things.
Hear about these things.
I declined.
I just couldn't imagine any good coming from me being shipped off to some other family's house to - take care of and feed their children or interact with a strange man I would likely not like near as well as I like my own.
I could not imagine any good coming from my children being introduced to a potentially nicer mother or a woman that might influence them to believe that things are not being done correctly 'round here!
NOPE!
I declined.
If I'm going to be featured on a reality TV show ...
I'm holding out for ...
SURVIVOR!
I figure I have way more experience and years of useful covert tactics to tackle a show like that! And ... the worst things I might be expected to do is eat some bugs or sleep in the jungle with some snakes or some monkeys. I'm already living in a house full of monkeys and ... I've known worse things than eating bugs. *It's raising children and pleasin' husbands I'm not so great at!*
Or maybe ... Extreme Makeover!
I'd be open to Ty Pennington coming down here to Texas ...
He doesn't even have to build me a new house ...
He can build me a bookcase - I'll just stand there and help him for an hour and ... wipe the sweat off his brow ...
On the upside ... Maybe one day they'll be tripping over themselves just to get at me (tee hee). Right now - all I got is this blog and that other blog. The first of which my littlest daughter still on occasion calls ... On The Outside. I keep telling her, "It's ON THE UPSIDE - UPSIDE!" *sigh*
I don't always know where I am supposed to be, I am only ever aware of where I am and often where I'd like to be.
Sometimes ... I am completely happy in the moment.
Before Christmas I felt rushed and frantic. I shopped and wrapped packages. I decorated the house. I didn't get around to baking, not even one single cookie. I planned our trip to Utah and I packed for my entire family. I tried to feel excited about Christmas. I tried to become excited about our Utah adventure. Excitement came only briefly on Christmas morning when I saw the happiness in the eyes of my children.
Then ... we hurried to the airport, weighed our luggage, shifted our belongings so each bag was not over the 50 lb. weight limit - ended up with 3 suitcases weighing almost exactly 50 lbs. each - what are the odds of that? Saved us a ton of money not being charged for the extra weight.
I was excited about that.
We boarded the plane to Phoenix - all went well, while I am not a casual flier and frighten myself to death over the least little odd noise or fluctuation in cabin pressure or altitude or tilting of the plane.
We got off the plane in Phoenix and boarded a new plane to Salt Lake City. The pilot immediately informed us that the airport in Salt Lake City was closed - they were having difficulty clearing runways, blah, blah, blah. We took off anyway, much to my confusion and fear! We headed off towards Utah and flew right into the blizzard that would put our plane into a "holding pattern" above the airport for what seemed like an eternity. How I knew we were in a "holding pattern" was because the pilot was so nice as to inform us that this was what was going on - waaaaaay more information than I really needed to know.
While we were flying in circles or figure 8's over the Salt Lake City Airport, I tried hard not to glance out the window. I tried hard not to become panicked. I tried to ignore my children that found the bumpy turbulence entertaining and would pretend they were on a roller coaster ride each time the plane would drop and rise again. I tried not to let my children see terror in my eyes.
I love the snow.
I do not love the snow when it is blowing hard and thick outside the window of a Boeing 737. I could not stop imagining that episode of Twilight Zone (Nightmare at 20,000 Feet) - the one with William Shatner - where he looks out his plane window and sees a little gremlin monster messing with the plane. I could not see out the window - past all the snow, but I still imagined ... monsters and other planes in "holding patterns" above a closed airport with closed runways and planes that would soon run out of fuel and have no where to land, but maybe crash into the side of a Utah mountain or be diverted to a nearby freeway ...
Before the Twilight Zone gremlin had a chance to dismantle any of the plane engines or unbolt a wing from the body of the plane - we suddenly landed. Without warning. Without incident. Safely.
I was excited!
Once on the ground, we made our way through the airport, retrieved our luggage, met our friends and headed towards the car. When we walked through the automatic doors leading out to the parking lot, I could feel the cold. The cold that was a welcome change from the humidity I had left behind in Texas. The cold I had longed for. The cold that enveloped me and seeped quickly through my clothes and into my lungs. The cold that brought all of my senses alive.
It made me smile.
I was excited.
And then ...
I saw the snow.
As if I was like a child.
I was excited ... like I always am when I see snow.
Smell snow.
Touch snow.
I yearn to be near the snow, like I yearn to be lulled into the darkness of a rainy day.
I don't always know where I am supposed to be, but sometimes ... when I am where I need to be ... want to be ... I am completely happy in the moment.
God has been good to our family this past year and we praise him and thank him for all of His blessings. Our prayer and wish is that God will also bless you and your families throughout the Christmas Holiday and into the coming New Year.
Kellan, Billy, Courtney, Chloe, Billy Jr. & Alexis
(A special note to all my blogging friends: I have enjoyed getting to know all of you. We bloggers know what a joy blogging can be and I want all of you to know that it has been a pleasure getting to know you and I consider you to be a blessing in my life. You have brought me so much joy - more joy than I ever imagined. Thank you for that.)
Thank you for all the wonderful questions - WOW!!! I will do my best to answer all of them as honestly as I can. Here it goes ...
Jennwa asked:
1. What made you start blogging? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know!
2. Have you always known that you were good at writing stories? I was a horrible student. I was horrible in English. But ... I've always loved to write and have written in one form or the other - for years! I've always "believed" that I was a pretty good writer, but I never realized I was a good story-teller until I started my blog. I think I am a good verbal story-teller and didn't realize, until I started my blog, how easily it translated for me into writing as well. The type of writing I'd always done was novels and poems and journal-like writing. Before my blog, I'd never experimented with "story-telling" or trying various different techniques to tell a story. I'm finding that it comes pretty natural for me and I love it - "story-telling".
3. Why do you blog? I blog to write. I blog now, to tell my stories. I blog to document my children's lives, my life, my husband's life - all of our lives together.
4. What do you find is the best thing about blogging? There are A LOT of great things that come with blogging! The BEST thing about blogging for me is that I am able to be creative. I have always been creative and I am finding that blogging taps into those creative tendencies and I love that! It is very rewarding. I also love that I am documenting my children's lives!
Thanks for these great questions Jennwa!
Summer asked:
1. What is your favorite cheese? I love most any cheese, but I'd have to say I like Swiss the best.
2. Were you sicker with your twin pregnancy than with your others? I never had morning sickness or any other sort sickness with any of my pregnancies. The only negative side affects I had from the pregnancy with my twins (and all my pregnancies) was that I gained 92 lbs. (YEP!) and was not only fat, but UG-LY while I was pregnant.
3. What is it about Texas that elicits such state pride? I don't really know this answer, but maybe it goes back to Texas being a Republic before it became a state. Do you know that Texas is one (if not the only) state that is allowed to raise its flag at the same level as the American flag? Most states are required (?) to keep their flags below or at a lower level. Our kids even pledge the Texas flag in the mornings at school, right along with the American Flag. I personally think it has something to do with the sports - Dallas Cowboys and all and Texas A&M and UT College Football. I think our kids hear it so much on the Texas commercials (how great Texas is - bigger and better, etc.) and their parents believe this also - it's sort of ingrained in generation after generation. It goes way back and yet there are things today that definitely influence this pride.
Thanks Summer for these great questions!
Pam asked:
1. What is your favorite thing about hubby and each of your kids? It's hard to pick one thing about each of them, but I'll try. My favorite thing about Billy is that he is loved by everyone. I don't know anyone that would say he is not lovable and that does not love him. It makes me very proud to be married to someone like that! My favorite thing about Courtney is that Courtney is so smart - she is one of the smartest people I know - in every way! My favorite thing about Chloe is her sweet heart. She is more sensitive than she would admit to and has enough love for everyone! My favorite thing about Little Billy is his casual approach to life. He takes life as it comes and lives it in the moment. You always believe he is "content" and that is quite a fascinating quality and it rubs off on those around him. My favorite thing about Alexis is her desire to live LIFE! She does not want to miss out on anything and would be up for everything!
3. How did you meet hubby? We met right before Thanksgiving, 1983 in a country western dance hall. He saw me as I walked by, turned to his buddy and said, "That's the girl I'm going home with tonight." We've been together ever since. It was love at first sight. God put him right in my path and I was smart enough to recognize what a gift he was!
4. What is your dream vacation? My husband and I take many vacations, sometimes with the kids and sometimes not - so I love those we have taken. But ... my dream vacation would be to take a cruise to the Greek islands.
5. If you could no longer blog, what would you do to save your sanity? Before I blogged, I found ways to be creative. I made furniture for a while, I used to do lots of crafts, I've always invested a lot of time in landscaping and gardening in my yard, I've crocheted, cross-stitched, etc. I've always written too. I would go back to spending more time doing those types of things. And, of course, I'd continue to write.
Thanks Pam for these fun questions!
Kristi asked:
1.Of all of the blog posts you have made, what was your most favorite entry of all time? It's hard for me to pick my favorite, but I can tell you the recent ones that have been favorites of my readers: "What The ...?", "Sometimes I Just Don't Stack Up," "My Boy The Genius," "DQ Stands For ... You Obviously Don't Know Who You Are Dealing With," and "Where Is A Lacy Bra When I Need One?"
Marybeth asked:
1. What are your favorite three blogs to visit? I love a lot of blogs - and I read a lot of blogs - I DO! Now ... there are 3 great blogs that I used to read pretty regularly - Rocks in My Dryer and Woulda Coulda Shoulda and Oh The Joys, that I think are really great blogs, but I don't read them as much anymore just because I don't have the time. I do pop over to those 3 from time to time and visit - when I have time. I am pretty busy and pretty happy reading and visiting all the great moms and writers that I have become friends with! Those 3 I have mentioned are not my FAVORITES anymore, but I do like them! I don't have 3 favorites - I love all the blogs I visit for many different reasons - I DO!
The Vasquez3 asked:
1. What things are too personal to blog about? This is a good question. I think this is different for everyone, but for me - I don't think there are any subjects that I would not blog about, but I will always be very careful about my friends and family and their privacy. I would never tell a story or divulge information about the lives of anyone other than my family (Billy and my kids), unless it was just a simple funny story that I know will not hurt them. I have to say that there is not anything in my life that I would consider too personal - but there are subjects I will never write about. I have a few SEX posts in my drafts that one day - one day - I might just post - if and when I feel the timing is right. It's not the sort of thing I have a problem posting - it's just got to be the right timing. I consider timing with all of my posts.
2. Would you be willing to eat a bowl of live crickets for $50,000? YES I WOULD! $50,000 would help pay for a lot of college and I have twins fixing to go to college in 2 years. If you had said roaches - I'd definitely have said NO! Crickets I think I could do.
3. Which is more important to you: actual experiences or the memories that remain when the experiences are over? What a great question! I think the memories are more important. Your mind seems to have the ability to recognize and store details about specific moments that you aren't even aware of "in the moment" and when your mind recalls the event or day or moment and brings it forth - sometimes the specialness of that day or event is even sweeter than you remember it being. I think our minds have the ability to take more of it in and store the subtle things that our other senses are not aware of and do not appreciate.
Thank you Vasquez3 for these wonderful questions!
Holly asked:
1. Why did you start blogging? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know!
2. What is the big deal about Texas and Texan pride, etc.? I don't really know this answer, but maybe it goes back to Texas being a Republic before it became a state. Do you know that Texas is one (if not the only) state that is allowed to raise its flag at the same level as the American flag? Most states are required (?) to keep their flags below or at a lower level. Our kids even pledge the Texas flag in the mornings at school, right along with the American Flag. I personally think it has something to do with the sports - Dallas Cowboys and all and Texas A&M and UT College Football. I think our kids hear it so much on the Texas commercials (how great Texas is - bigger and better, etc.) and their parents believe this also - it's sort of ingrained in generation after generation. It goes way back and yet there are things today that definitely influence this pride.
3. What is your favorite kind of music to listen to? I love country music. I particularly like ballads.
4. Do you play any musical instruments? I took piano when I was younger for about 6 or 7 years. I can play the piano some, but I don't often play it.
Thanks Holly for these great questions!
Tricki Nicki asked:
1. What do you most like about being a Southerner? I have been in the South for 1/2 of my life, but I was not born here. I do consider myself a Texan now and what I like best about being a Texan/Southerner is the iced tea - we drink a bunch of iced tea!! No - I think southerners are known for being hospitable and nice and I believe that is true. I am proud of that reputation and I like being associated with that!
Thanks Nicki for this great question - I had to really think about this one?
Karen asked:
1. How long has your husband owned his own business? And how involved are you in it, if at all? My husband was an electrician when I met him and one all the way up until the year I became pregnant with my twins (1991). That year, he and I decided that if he was going to stay in the electrical trade he really needed to start his own Electrical Contracting business if he was going to be able to make a long-term living and retire one day. We started the business in June of 1991. I got pregnant in August 1991. Quit my job on Oct. 1, 1991. We started the business with $250.00 in the business checking account. We never (to this day) took out any loans to sustain the business - we just turned the money over and over back into the business and only took what we needed to live on. It was scary those first couple of years, but it always did well - from the day we started it. I handle the bookkeeping for the business and work in the office (attached to our house) several days a week, entering and paying bills, invoicing, taxes, etc. I am part owner of the business and get a pay check from the business. Billy really does all the real work! We've had our business for nearly 17 years. Little Billy talks about taking over Daddy's business one day. I say that is fine - after he goes to college.
2. What was your first reaction after you found out you were having twins? I believed I was having twins before I was actually told 4 months into my pregnancy. When I heard the news I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I felt blessed. It was sheer bliss!
3. How long have you been blogging? I published my first post on 8/23/07, so I've been blogging for 6 months.
4. Do you write anywhere other than your blog? Not yet! I'm working on that! And, thanks for saying that you would read if I did.
Thanks Karen for these great questions!
TheCynicalOptimist asked:
1. What is the worst heartbreak you have ever endured? In January of 1992 I was pregnant with my twins. Something happened that January that was a turning point in my life. It broke my heart in more ways than I ever imagined I could ever endure. It is something I can not go into, as it is very personal, but I am well on the other side of that time in my life and have grown stronger and happier because of what happened. It took many years.
2. If you could make one wish, what would it be? (not more wishes) Alexis said the other day that if she could make one wish on a wishing star that she would wish that EVERYBODY could have one wish - pretty darn smart - hoping she could cash in on their wishes, I think. My wish would be right now ... that my husband could retire. I think my children will make their way in the world - I do. I think I am at peace in my world. I would wish that he could stop working so hard - never have to work again. He works harder than anyone I have ever known in my life.
3. Do you believe in fate? (Fate: Something that unavoidably befalls a person). No I don't. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but I believe our lives are in our hands and are dictated by the choices we make. I believe there are different paths our lives can take - depending on those choices. I think that there is an intended "straight" path - an "easier" path and our goal is to find our way back to that path in order to feel our life is balanced. I believe that God is on that "easier" path and that is the path we are intended to be on, but that he allows us to make choices that veer us off that path either drastically or just from time to time. I believe that the choices others make in their lives can cause ripples in our lives and when those ripples touch us, it is our duty to make sure we make the choices that will guide us back to the "straight" path. My life is not dictated by destiny - I believe there are many paths my life can take - that are avoidable and detectable.
4. If you could be blind or rich or deaf and poor, which would you choose? So the question to me is, would I choose sight or hearing? I would choose to loose my sight, I think. I've never honestly thought about this, but when I did, it came to me quickly. I would miss seeing the world and the faces of my loved ones ... but I think I truly treasure the sounds in my life more. The laughter - the songs - the voices. I would miss the voices more than the faces, I think. I can't think about missing the eyes, because that makes me want to cry.
5. What would be a dream career, besides raising your children? Definitely to be a published writer!
6. If a friend could sneak you the winning lottery numbers before they were drawn, would you take them? No. I totally believe that honesty is one the highest of human qualities. I pride myself on having always tried to live an honest life - I would be tempted - like anyone - but I would not do it.
7. You can only shop at ONE clothing store for the rest of your days -- which would it be? I know my family and friends would probably say that this answer would either be ROSS or Marshalls, but I would actually choose Steinmart - I love their clothes.
Thank you TheCynicalOptimist for these fabulous questions!
Hillary asked:
1. What is your favorite childhood memory? I can't narrow this down to just one, but I would have to say that the best childhood memories I have often have my grandfather in them. I am either at his house or on his farm. Most of my favoite memories take place on the farm that he so loved and I loved being there.
Jen asked:
1. What were you like in high school? (I'm picturing you running for class president). My sister and brother are having a good laugh over this question! No, I was not class president. I did not take school too seriously and only wanted to be there because my girl friends were there and for the BOYS!! I was an athlete at times (basketball, track, softball). I was heavy into art! I hung with lots of different crowds - the "pot heads" for a while, the "jocks" for a while, the "artsy" kids for a while, the "white kids that hung with the black kids" for a while ... I was a floater in high school. I was not lost - I was just a floater. Courtney is like that now and I love seeing how she is able to fit into so many different groups. Chloe too, just not as naturally. I always had lots of friends and lots of boy friends - I made sure of that.
2. Where have you met your 3 closest friends, how long have you known them and how often do you see/talk to them? I have 4 close friends that I met 20 years ago. We all worked for the same company and have stayed close ever since. One of those friends, I talk to nearly every single day and the other three, not as often, but we are especially close. The other friend that I am close to right now, is one that I met about 3 years ago. I was searching for her, found her, pursued her, made her love me and now I can't live without her in my life. We talk ever single day and see each other 2-3 times a week, at least. I love my friends!
3. What qualities do you look for in a friend? The most important quality I look for is that the person has to be REAL! I want the friendship to be easy and comfortable - no pretenses or weirdness. I don't want to have to figure you out or wonder what you are thinking. You need to be totally open to me and normal. I want it to be as easy with my friends as it is with my sister or brother - just easy and fun and pure. Don't be mean to me or hateful or jealous. Always give me the benefit of the doubt, like I would give you. Always have my back - no matter what. Laugh with me and talk about anything and everything and all the time. Be available and put me as a priority. These are all the things I try to be to my friends and I hope for the same from them.
Thank you Jen for these really great questions!
Angie asked:
1. What kind of schoolin' have you had (tried to sound Texan, but I think I just sound redneck)? After high school, I went to Junior College her in Texas for an Associates Degree in Business. I quit 3 courses short of getting that degree (all electives too) because I felt like I needed to go to work and found a great job. I ended up working for that same company for nearly 12 years, up until the time I became pregnant with my twins when I quit working to stay home with my kids.
2. Do you/have you ever worked outside the home? The answer above tells you what I did before I stayed home with my kids, but I do work now for my husband's Electrical Contracting company. I am the bookkeeper and I work about 2 days a week (not all day) and I am on the payroll. I'm really only on the payroll for tax reasons.
Thanks Angie for the great questions (and thanks for the tip about the site that will help me with this contest - I will probably do that)!
Katy asked:
1. Years from now when your children are grown up what do you WANT to do with your life? Not what are you going to do, but what would you WANT to do if you could choose anything? I would WANT to be traveling with my husband and writing. I'd love to be an established, published writer by then and be doing that until I die.
Thanks for the great question Katy!
Melissa asked:
What makes you happy? Right now, what makes me happy is when I get the true sense that I am raising a bunch of great kids! I think I am and that makes me really happy! Other than that - lots of things make me happy. There isn't much that makes me unhappy right now in my life. I generally have had a happy life and feel fortunate to say that I have always been quite content. I feel happy a lot!
Thanks for the great question Melissa! (I hope Hope is doing okay!!!!)
Bia asked:
Which cartoon character best describes you? That's easy - I think either the Roadrunner or Speedy Gonzales. They aren't Disney characters, but I choose these two because I move constantly and at the speed of light - I don't do anything slowly.
Which television show best describes your life: "Everyone Loves Raymond", "Desperate Housewives", "24" or "Survivor"? This is a great question. Desperate Housewives is way more drama than goes on in my everyday life, as is 24. I think Survivor is sort of representative of my life - because it often feels like I am trying to SURVIVE, but probably Everyone Loves Raymond is the closest. I say that because my family has often commented (my sister particularly) that I am the "Alpha" in the family and that is sort of like Raymond. I also have quite the cast of characters around me - all fun and funny!! We have our moments of drama and trauma - but, all in all - we're pretty much a normal suburban family that lives our lives around our families and have our moments of roaring laughter and happiness.
Thanks Bia for these 2 great questions!
Rachel asked:
1. What parts of being a mother do you enjoy the most? I never knew if I would really be a good mother. I do not think I am the best mother I could be, but I do a lot of things right and some things very wrong. The things I do right, I have worked hard at getting right and the best part of that is seeing the results of all that hard work. Seeing these children growing up to be loving, kind, respectful, smart, trustworthy, honest, dependable - you know - all those things you try so hard to instill in them. The older they all become, the more evident it is that there are so many things that I have done right and that is the most rewarding part. You don't believe you will ever feel that or see those results - really - but you do. And when you do ... it is a marvelous feeling!!!!
I also enjoy just being around my children - always being around them. Touching them. Hearing them. Seeing them. I don't like some of the work that goes with the raising of them - but I do love having them around!
Thanks Rachel for the great question!
Janice asked:
1. What is your number one most favorite thing about each of your kids? It's hard to pick one thing about each of them, but I'll try. My favorite thing about Courtney is that Courtney is so smart - she is one of the smartest people I know - in every way! My favorite thing about Chloe is her sweet heart. She is more sensitive than she would admit to and has enough love for everyone! My favorite thing about Little Billy is his casual approach to life. He takes life as it comes and lives it in the moment. You always believe he is "content" and that is quite a fascinating quality and it rubs off on those around him. My favorite thing about Alexis is her desire to live LIFE! She does not want to miss out on anything and would be up for everything!
2. Name one thing you have learned from each one of your kids. I love this question. From Courtney, I have learned laughter! She is funny and makes me laugh and she has made me want to laugh more and more and more! She has brought back into my life that sort of laughter that I used to experience as a kid - the kind that comes from seeing the humor in things. The kind that I had with my friends in school, where we searched out the laughter day after day. She is a gift! From Chloe I have learned humility. Chloe is my mirror. I reflect off of her and she me. It is like we are the same person sometimes. It's like I can see directly into her soul, she exposes herself to me so well. She doesn't know this - but it is there. I see myself in her and yet she is a better person than I will ever be! From Little Billy I have learned tolerance. His personality calms me (like his Daddy). He makes me want to slow down and enjoy life - look at the world and appreciate the moment. He is such a sweet boy! From my baby Alexis I have learned happiness. By her coming into my life - when she did- I think she has taught me to just be happy. Choose it and then ... roll around in it. That is what she does and that is how I feel in her presense - happy.
3. I think choosing your friends wisely is so very important, what do you tell you kids about choosing their friends? The one thing that my kids have experienced - too often - is friends that try to "use" them. I have tried to make them realize that "true" friends will do anything and everything to make sure you are happy and taken care of. If they step that line, once or twice, and something hurtful happens and you want to forgive them - that is good, but to be careful not to allow people - even friends - to mistreat you - "use" you - hurt you - make you feel sad. If they do that too often, without little regard for your feelings or wellbeing - then they are not a good friend and you should try to find other friends.
4. Who do you want to win American Idol? I love American Idol! I haven't made my mind up about this yet. I'll still have to watch for a while longer before I can decide.
5. Besides blogging and your kids, what do you do in your spare time? I don't have a lot of spare time. I am currently on the PTA board at my girls' high school, on a separate committee also at their school, I volunteer one day a week at Little Billy and Alexis' school, I work for my husband's business ... I'm pretty busy most of the time. We have a lake house that we all try to get away to when we can - on weekends and in the summer. When we are there, we ski and swim and eat out and go to movies and rent moves - have fun. If I'm home and have spare time - I like to go to lunch or shopping with my friends or go over to their house and just sit and have coffee or tea and talk.
Thanks so much Janice for these great questions!
Dawn asked:
1. If you watch Desperate Housewives, which housewife are you most like? What a fun question. I asked Courtney which one she thought and she said Lynette because she has twelve million kids and she is kind of crazy and because she is the coolest one (according to Courtney) and her husband is opening up his own business and my husband has his own business. I'd have to agree - I'm pretty darn cool (tee hee). Lynette - definitely.
2. What is your favorite place to be and why? In the winter, and right now - my favorite place to be is at home. I'm not always a home-body, but lately that is where I am drawn to and where I want to be. In the summer - my favorite place to be is at the lake (at our lake house), as that is where we have to most fun as a family. I love being there.
Thanks Dawn for these great questions!
Betsy asked:
What do you most fear? I've said this quite often over that past several years. Because I think I am a pretty strict mother and because I don't always think I am the best mother ... my greatest fear is that my kids will leave home one day and ... never come back to me.
Thanks Betsy for this great question!
Jenn @ Juggling Life asked:
1. If you could be anything other than what you are, what would it be? I really have never had ambition or dreams to be anything other than what I am - I am where and who I want to be. I'd simply love to add to the mix, at times. I've always longed to be a "real" writer - so I'd definitely add that to the mix. I'd love to do something in my life that meant something - you know - something big and important and meaningful (other than raising my 4 wonderful children). I'd like to be that person that put forth that extra effort or came up with some brilliant idea that solved some huge problem or worry - like the cure for cancer or world peace or poverty and hunger. I long to feel like "I mattered" in this world sometimes and if I could contribute in some big way that was important - I think that would be my untimate fantasy!
Thanks so much Jenn for this great question!
Amanda asked:
1. You sound like a great mom who really has her life balanced; household stuff, teenagers, slightly younger son, little daughter, blogging. I hardly get anything done and I only have one toddler. How long did it take for your family to find this balance? This is a nice compliment Amanda, but I do not always feel balanced. I have found that the longer I have had kids, the easier the balance is to find, though. It's just like anything, I guess - you begin to see the problems or issues and look for ways to solve them. I am also quite the "control freak" and totally live by "there is a place for everything and everything has its place". As crazy as that can make people around me - it does lend itself to a pretty organized life. I believe whole-heartedly that I live an organized life and that helps keep things in a little more balance. Chaos begets chaos - it does! Plus, I also get a lot of help now around my house from my kids. My teenager's first priority is their school work and sports, but I do expect them to do a certain amount of chores - Little Billy and Alexis too. That helps with the housework, some. And ... my husband is always willing to pick up any slack that I can't handle myself - like taking kids to basketball practice or stopping by the grocery store for milk and bread. I'd have to say that Billy contributes A LOT to the success of our busy lives!! He always has! I don't do it ALL on my own - NOT EVEN! It does get easier with time though.
Thanks Amanda for this great question!
Kelly asked:
1. What kind of jobs have you had in the past? Before I had kids, I worked as a waitress, I worked as a cashier in a grocery story, I worked at Dunkin Donuts, I worked as receptionist and then I worked as an Account Manager in the Credit and Collections department of a large computer manufacturing company for nearly 12 years, right before I had my kids. I now work with my husband in our own business - I am the bookkeeper.
2. If you could travel anywhere, where would it be? At different times - this answer would be different. But, overall I would love to go to the east coast of the U.S., Hawaii, Greece, England, Australia, Switzerland and Japan. That's just how I feel today. Ask me tomorrow and I might have totally different answers.
3. What is your favorite song? For the past several years, my favorite song has been "Believe" by Brooks and Dunn. I love that song!
Thanks Kelly for all the great questions!
Steph asked:
1. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be and why. At different times - this answer would be different. But, overall I would love to go to the east coast of the US, Hawaii, Greece, England, Australia, Switzerland and Japan. That's just how I feel today. Ask me tomorrow and I might have totally different answers. Now, why? I've never been to some of these places or haven't been for many years and would just love to go and see them.
Thanks Steph for this great question!
Queen of My Domain asked:
1. Which of your children do you see yourself in the most (not looks mind you but mannerisms)? I think my twins are the most like me. They are also a lot alike too. But, they don't share all the same quirky things - they like split my quirky things between them. Chloe is a lot like me in her "common sense" approach to life and Courtney tends to be a "control freak" more - just like me. They are also very loud and I can definitely be very loud. They are very out-going, more so than me, but they get that from me more than their father. They are also equally as stubborn and opinionated and they definitely get that from me. It would be both Courtney and Chloe - but probably Chloe, if I had to choose one.
2. What does your family think of your blogging and do they ever read your posts? My husband is always looking over my shoulder to see what I am writing or reading, but he never goes on my sight on his own (that I know of). And I often sit in bed at night and read the stories to him - just so he knows the sorts of things I am writing about - he gets a kick out of that. My kids don't read my posts, except every now and then Courtney and Chloe will get on and read one after the other to sort of get caught up. They do love hearing about something I posted "that day" and will ask me what my post was about that day. My mother, dad, sister and brother-in-law, read pretty much everyday and sometimes one of them will even leave a comment. My family is still trying to figure out what I am doing. They all seem to enjoy the stories and get a kick out of me being able to come up with the stories and write them - but, I think they are not all totally "clear" on why I BLOG - you know. They are very tolerant though and realize that it makes me happy and is something I want to do - so they totally support me.
3. What is the one thing that is always guaranteed to put you in a good mood? Without a doubt - if I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror and see that yesterday's hair - is good to go!!! If I have to mess with my hair in the morning too much - it can put me in the worst mood for a while. Also - If I am in a bad mood, if my husband shows me kindness or gives me a smile - that always softens me right up!
Thanks so much Queen of My Domain for these great questions!
Tommie asked:
1. How old were you when you got married? I was 22 years old.
2. Where was your favorite place to live growing up? I loved when we lived in Virginia, but I'd have to say my favorite place was Germany.
3. What is one thing you want to do before you leave this earth? The one thing I want to know before I leave this earth is that all of my children are settled in their lives and truly happy. The one thing I'd want to do - that I honestly think I could achieve - is to be a published writer. I'd also like to reach the point where my husband and I are at the point where we have slowed down enough in our lives that we return to that relationship we had prior to having kids - the one where we held hands a lot, kissed a lot, looked into each others eyes a lot, held each other a lot, had sex a lot and all we had to do all day was be in love!
4. What is your favorite place to eat? We have a Mexican restaurant here called Pappasitos - that is definitely my favorite place!
Thanks so much Tommie for these great questions!
Kaci asked:
1. What is your favorite fruit? This is not an easy question - I thought it was until I really started to try and answer it. I guess, if I have to choose one, I'd say grapes (Concord).
McSwain asked:
1. What's your guilty pleasure? I'd definitely have to say chocolate, but I also love TV. I always have to have a TV on with some sort of chocolate nearby. Coffee too - with Hazelnut creamer.
Thanks McSwain for this fun question!
Mama Meji asked:
1. What was the worst thing you did as a wife? The only thing I can think of is when I got really mad at my husband one year for not buying me a Birthday present - I got in my car and left. I stayed away from the house for hours and was so angry (this was many years ago) ! I wanted so badly to leave that night and never come back - but I really had nowhere to go, so I came home. It was an awful night and it was just me being a big ol' baby! He didn't deserve any of it! Other than that, I am sometimes pretty demanding and could honestly say that I do something every single day that makes me a "not-so-great" wife.
2. What is the worst thing you ever did as a parent? When my twins were about 3 years old, I got angry and grabbed Courtney by the arm. She walked around for about a days with a little gimpy arm and I was so worried and heart-broken that I had really hurt her. It was on that day that I decided that I would never be a parent that used my hands to discipline my children. yanking is one thing I hate to see a parent do to their little child and I tried to never do that again. I've done it once or twice or three times - over the years - but, I am always ashamed when I do it!
3. What was the BEST thing you did as a wife? On my husband and my 20th wedding anniversary, I threw ourselves a party and invited lots of our friends. I spent weeks trying to find my husband the perfect gift. I decided to secretly buy him a Corvette (something I knew he would love - duh) and gave it to him on the night of our anniversary party. He was surprised and very pleased, but it made me feel wonderful because it was my way of showing him how much I love him and how important he is in my life. Not that I "gave" him a car - but that I went to the trouble and he never expected me to do something like that for him.
4. What is the BEST thing you ever did as a parent? I'd like to be able to say that it was introducing them to God - and I have done that, but not to the best of my ability - like my parents did for me. I'd have to say, so far, the best thing is that I have tried to instill in each of my children to be the "best" they can be - at school, as friends and as people. I think I've done a good job at this, as they are all really great people!
Thank you Mama Meji for these great questions!
N8 asked:
1. What size shoe do you wear? (so when you decide to give away some of those shoes, I will kow if they fit me). I wear an 8 1/2, but sometimes I can fit in an 8 and sometimes a 9 - so I have all 3 sizes in my closet - mostly 8 1/2.
2. What would you never ever blog about? I would never blog about any of my friend's or my family's lives - not details - only an occasional story that I know would not hurt them. I would never blog about politics - it just doesn't interest me to get into that sort of heated discussion. I would never blog about some stories in my life that are too personal to me.
3. What is your favorite song from high school? This one isn't easy - as high school was a long time ago, but probably "Stairway to Heaven". I listened to Queen, Chicago, America, The Eagles, Aerosmith - those types of bands - that tells you how old I am and more.
4. What is your middle name? My middle name is Renee. Kellan Renee.
5. What is your most embarrassing moment? I really don't have one embarrassing moment that stands out in my life - that's weird, I know. I'm a "control freak" and we tend to be the type of people that try very hard not to put ourselves into situations where something embarrassing will happen (HA!). Day to day, the thing that embarrasses me the most is when I can't remember someone's name - I am awful at recalling names and it happens all the time - I hate that!
Thanks Christina (N8) for these great questions!
Kelli asked:
1. Where did your name "Kellan" come from? I happen to love my name, so I am always happy to answer this question. My mother had a friend in high school that had the name Mary Kellan and that is where my name came from. My name is Kellan Renee, though. I have a cousin that had a little girl at the same time I had my twins (15 years ago) and named her daughter Mary Kellan - I was so jealous that I hadn't thought to use the name for one of my girls - I love it. They call her Mary-Kellan.
2. What is your middle name? Renee is my middle name.
3. Have you always lived in Texas? if not, where else? No. My dad was in the Army, so we moved a lot when I was growing up. I was born in West Virginia and have lived in Michigan, Colorado, Virginia (twice), Texas (twice) and Germany. I ended up in Texas in 1978 and have lved here ever since.
Thanks Kelli for these great questions!
My Goodness asked:
1. I want to know if you potty trained your boy like you trained your girls ... what was your technique? He was harder to train than my girls and I don't know if it is because he was a boy or because he was my "second" child. It took longer (he was nearly 3 and my girls trained about 14 months). I used a lot of tricks to try to get him trained, like bribing him and reward charts. He finally trained at almost exactly his 3rd Birthday and I think he was the one that made that decision and it had little to do with me by that point.
2. What are 5 of your biggest pet peeves? I can't stand to see or hear someone smacking their lips when they eat or chew gum! I don't like prentious people. I don't like jealousy - to see it or feel it or be on the butt-end of it! I don't like dropping things - it drives me crazy! And, I don't like to see or experience unfairness!
Thanks Tina (My Goodness) for these great questions!
Laura asked:
1. I would love to know more about your twins story. I really want to share their story and I am going to answer this question in a separte post (soon).
2. Why did you start your blog? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know! I started it to have somewhere where I could write daily.
3. What do you like about blogging? There are A LOT of great things that I like about blogging! The BEST thing about blogging for me is that I am able to be creative. I have always been creative and I am finding that blogging taps into those creative tendencies and I love that! It is very rewarding. I also love that I am documenting my children's lives! I also like meeting all the other bloggers - great writers and mothers!!
4. What do you dislike about blogging? Honestly ... I don't like how competitive it can sometimes feel. I don't like the amount of time it consumes and that I can't visit everyone I'd really like to visit. I don't like that I don't understand so much about the technical stuff. I don't like how people that don't "blog" - DON'T GET IT! I don't like - sometimes - how much I LOVE it!
Thanks so much Laura for these great questions!
Regina asked:
1. When you get to heaven (and I love that she believes I WILL go to heaven), if you can ask God ONE question, what would it be? This is a GREAT question, because I totally believe in God and believe that one day I will stand in front of Him. This question is also not that hard for me, I would ask him, "How did I do?" I totally believe that life is a "test" and we are "tested" every single day. I believe that we all try to do our best at living our lives and I would want to know, in God's opinion - how I did. Was I a good person? Did I live a good life? Did I not waste the gift? It would be an interesting answer for me, as I feel I have lived a good life and have embraced the gift!
Thanks Regina for the GREAT question!
The Boyds Family asked: (Thanks for the really nice comment, by the way!)
1. Do you have a nickname? If so, what is it and how did you get it? I really don't. My grandfather and my father often call(ed) me Kelly, but they are the only ones that do. My sister and brother and mother often call me Kel. Some folks, behind my back, call me "The Whip" and think I don't know this - but I do.
2. Where do you get all these great pictures that go so perfectly with your posts? I didn't always put specific pictures with my posts - early on. When I decided to start doing that, I found that I LOVED it! It was a part of blogging that I found that really tapped into my creative side and it has been so much fun trying to find the perfect picture. Sometimes I can't. I find most of them on Google Image or Yahoo Image. You just have to search and search sometimes, but they are fun to look for!
3. What is your favorite movie and why? I tend to really like movies that have a dark setting and are set in some place interesting like New Orleans or Fargo. Fargo is one of my favorite movies. Interview with a Vampire is one of my favorite movies. The Big Easy, I love too. I like LOTS of movies and mostly I think I like them for the setting and the dialect. I love a New Orleans or Fargo or English or Australian accent and also if the movie exposes the culture or particulars about the "setting". I think the setting - the background - the surroundings ... play a big part in any story - they are a character of their own and I love Interview with a Vampire because of the setting and that movie made me believe in Vampires and I liked the story a lot. I liked "The Others" too, because it was a great story and a dark setting. I like a lot of dramas - those are my favorite type of movie. I love the movie "Delores Claiborne" because of the setting and the acting and the story. Lots of people are not drawn to dramas and lots of people are not drawn to dark movies - I love them the most!
4. Who is your favorite author? I have never been much of a reader. I know, it's not common for those that love to write - not also to love to read. I do like to read and have read lots of books, but I don't LOVE it. I think the main reason is because I don'tt have the patience for reading - the patience to invest the time into a book. I don't sit for very long doing any one thing and reading requires a lot of sitting. I've never been one to SIT. I wish I was and could settle my "self" enough to sit and enjoy reading - but it is not in my personality. I have to be in motion, most of the time. I don't have a favorite author for these reasons. Somehow, not being a "dedicated" reader myself - I have still managed to instill in my kids the love of reading - my kids love to read and be read to! I DO believe it is important and a gift! (I am most fascinated by Steven King).
5. How do you find the time to be such a wonderful wife, terrific mommy, awesome friend (because I'm SURE you are!) and outstanding blogger? First, let me say that I do not think I am always a wonderful wife or terrific mommy. These are my two most important roles in my life and the areas I try to focus on the most and I find MANY areas where I fail at. I am constantly aware of my failures or faults and try my best to change or correct those things daily. I'm becoming a better mother as the years go by - but I am NOT the best mother or wife. I think I am a GREAT friend though. As long as you are a good friend to me - I find it easy to be a good friend to you. I think I know what makes a good friend and it comes easily for me to give all to my friendships and do whatever it takes to shelter those friendships. As far as being an "outstanding" blogger (thanks). I tend to be a very focused person. I am very organized and driven. I approached blogging like I approach most things I do in my life and that is with lots of energy and ambition. Once I found (quickly) that I loved it, I immediately began investing in it and that meant that I started to try to learn as much as I could (quickly) and then did my best to try to figure out ways to form it into what I wanted it to be. For me - I wanted it to be the "best" I could make it - I still do. I am always looking for ways to do it and make it better. I am always looking for ways to write better and be more interesting. I find that some of it comes easily to me and some of it doesn't and what doesn't, I work hard at figuring out. It all takes a lot of time - to balance it all - I have sacrificed a lot of sleep in order to have my blog and become a better blogger - I have. But, I get plenty of sleep.
Thanks so much The Boyds Family for these GREAT questions!
Joanna asked:
1. How did you meet your husband? We met right before Thanksgiving, 1983 in a country western dance hall. He saw me as I walked by, turned to his buddy and said, "That's the girl I'm going home with tonight." We've been together ever since. It was love at first sight. God put him right in my path and I was smart enough to recognize what a gift he was!
2. How do find time to balance everything? I have found that the longer I have had kids, the easier it becomes to find a balance. It's just like anything, I guess - you begin to see the problems or issues and look for ways to solve them. I am also quite the "control freak" and totally live by "there is a place for everything and everything has its place". As crazy as that can make people around me - it does lend itself to a pretty organized life. I believe whole-heartedly that I live an organized life and that helps keep things in a little more balance. Chaos begets chaos - it does! Plus, I also get a lot of help now around my house from my kids. My teenager's first priority is their school work and sports, but I do expect them to do a certain amount of chores - Little Billy and Alexis too. That helps with the housework, some. And ... my husband is always willing to pick up any slack that I can't handle myself - like taking kids to basketball practice or stopping by the grocery store for milk and bread. I'd have to say that Billy contributes A LOT to the success of our busy lives!! He always has! I don't do it ALL on my own - NOT EVEN! As far as fitting in the things I want to do for myself - like blogging or gardening or whatever - I just do everything else REALLY FAST so I can squeeze in time for me.
3. What does your family think of you blogging? My husband is always looking over my shoulder to see what I am writing or reading, but he never goes on my sight on his own (that I know of). And I often sit in bed at night and read the stories to him - just so he knows the sorts of things I am writing about - he gets a kick out of that. My kids don't read my posts, except every now and then Courtney and Chloe will get on and read one after the other to sort of get caught up. They do love hearing about something I posted "that day" and will ask me what my post was about that day. My mother, dad, sister and brother-in-law, read pretty much everyday and sometimes one of them will even leave a comment. My family is still trying to figure out what I am doing. They all seem to enjoy the stories and get a kick out of me being able to come up with the stories and write them - but, I think they are not all totally "clear" on why I BLOG - you know. They are very tolerant though and realize that it makes me happy and is something I want to do - so they totally support me.
4. How do you know what to share and what not to share? My blog is not one that offers a daily "look" into my life (that is one of the reasons I did the Q&A). I post daily "stories" about specific moments or conversations that go on in my life. I don't have many stories that I have written that I have had to decide whether or not to post (I have a few). I write my stories based on something that is said or something I have seen. When a moment happens, I write the story and then put it in my drafts. I pull stories from my drafts - usually. Sometimes I will post a story that I wrote just the day before because of the timing, but usually I pull a story from my drafts and post it according to what I want to say that day. I don't often have to think about the content of my daily post, because it is simply a matter of whether I want to talk about Billy that day or the twins or Alexis or whatever. It's not based on content as much as I feel like I am a "story-teller" and so I offer a differnt story every day. I do not write anything that I do not intend to share - some day.
Thanks so much Joanna for these great questions!
Frog Ponds Rock (Kim) asked:
1. What is your favorite flower? My favorite flower is the state flower of Texas - the Bluebonnet. I love it for it's color and when it grows wild in the spring (everywhere) it is a sight to behold!
2. Have you traveled out of America? Yes! My dad was in the Army and so we lived in Germany for 3 years (1976-1978). While living there - our parents dragged up to every country that surrounds or is near Germany. I've been to a lot of Europe, but we never made it to Greece or England when I lived there. I've been to Canada, The U.S. Virgin Islands, Grand Caymen, Jamaica, Mexico - lots of places on crusies (we've been on 9 cruises). I love traveling and visiting new places.
3. What do you enjoy cooking? This is another question my family is getting a good laugh over! I do not like to cook. I don't mind baking sometimes, but I'm not that fond of baking either! I love good food, but HATE to cook and find NOTHING enjoyable about cooking!
4. What are you reading at the moment? I started reading Eragon (my kids talked me into it) a while back, but have put it down and haven't picked it up since. That is the last book I started. I'm not really reading any book at the moment.
5. What is your favorite color? Green is my favorite color - like sage green.
Thanks Kim for all these great questions!
Tammy asked:
1. Who was your hero growing up? I would say my grandfather. I admired him, I looked up to him, I respected him, I wanted to be near him - I loved him very much!
2. Who is your hero now? My children are my heros now - particurlary my twins. I am vicariously living my life through them. I love everything about how they are living their lives!!
3. How do you think your life would be different if your twins and six year old were boys and your ten year old was a girl? Oh, this is a good question! I truly believe having more girls - has made me a better person and a better woman. I'm not sure I (personally) would have experienced that if I had had more boys than girls. It would be fun to know what I would be like - what our lives would be like if there was more boys than girls. I always wanted girls (but was so HAPPY to have that sweet boy thrown into the mix)! I don't honestly believe I would be as good a woman (ME personally) if I hadn't had all these daughters!
4. What's your favorite all time movie and why? I tend to really like movies that have a dark setting and are set in some place interesting like New Orleans or Fargo. Fargo is one of my favorite movies. Interview with a Vampire is one of my favorite movies. The Big Easy, I love too. I like LOTS of movies and mostly I think I like them for the setting and the dialect. I love a New Orleans or Fargo or English or Australian accent and also if the movie exposes the culture or particulars about the "setting". I think the setting - the background - the surroundings ... play a big part in any story - they are a character of their own and I love Interview with a Vampire because of the setting and that movie made me believe in Vampires and I liked the story a lot. I liked "The Others" too, because it was a great story and a dark setting. I like a lot of dramas - those are my favorite type of movie. I love the movie "Delores Claiborne" because of the setting and the acting and the story. Lots of people are not drawn to dramas and lots of people are not drawn to dark movies - I love them the most! I also loved "The Hours"! I'd have to say my most favorite is "Interview with a Vampire" - I could watch it over and over and over again. I know - a little weird. I think I was a vampire in another life.
5. If you could have lunch with one person from any point in time, past or present, who would it be? It would be Jesus.
Thank you Tammy for the fabulous questions!
Becky asked:
1. How many people view your blog a day? I have anywhere from 150 - 250 view my blog in a day, depending on the day of the week. Generally it is about 200 - 225 or so.
2. How long does it typically take you to write out a post? Typically, about 1/2 an hour. I always work from a note I have jotted down (something Alexis said, something I saw, etc.) and I sit down with that note and if the story is there, it will come out very easily. If it is not "really" a good story, I will realize that pretty quickly and abandon it quickly. I don't force a story that "does not want to be told". Usually I know the moment I hear or see something that I can make a story out of it and the story comes easily. I don't search for stories, I watch for them to happen and make sure I jot down the moment (I always carry a pad with me). When I have time to write, I review my little jotted down notes (usually something very short that simply reminds me of the moment or conversation) and start to write. I try to shape my stories a little differently - and usually that comes easily as well, from the first word I put on the page. It is usually that beginning that will determine if the rest of the story works or not for me. I have come to believe that if the story was meant to be told, it will unfold easily and that has worked so far. Usually I spend about 1/2 the time editing (changing words or format).
3. How do you remember all the people you comment on your blog? I think you are asking, how do I remember them "personally". This is not always easy. I don't have a problem remembering their blog or their names with their faces or the blogger themselves. I don't have a problem really remembering some of the details of their lives - like where they live or what they do if they work or something about their husbands. What I have the most trouble with is remembering how many kids they have and their kids' names. I guess that is hard for everyone, as we have a bunch of kids amongst us!! I also sometimes find that I think I know something and realize I didn't or was wrong about something and that will throw me. I try very hard to really get to know all my visitors on some level. I usually read their profile and at least a few posts if I've never met them before, so I will feel like I know them a bit when/if they come back and visit me again.
4. Do you prefer gold or silver? In jewelry, I am split right down the middle - I wear both and love both. I also have gold and silver frames and such in my house, but I prefer silver. I'd say I am really more drawn to silver.
5. Do you do a lot of entertaining? I don't ever do formal enteraining! We often have friends or family around and do that sort of entertaining. We don't have parties often, but we have had many parties over the years. I do entertain a lot of kids - there is always some bunch of teenagers in my house (like right now, there are 2 of my girls' friends over and last night there were 2 also). I like having lots of people around and am the most comfortable when I am surrounded by friends or family.
Thanks Becky for all these great questions!
Baby-Amore' asked:
1. Have you ever had a caravan/trailer holiday? Not since I was a kid and we had a pull along RV that our family used for a short while to travel. I love the idea!
2. What is the best advice about raising twins anyone ever gave you? Without a doubt - keep them on one schedule!
3. Have you ever been or will you ever visit Australia? No, I 've never been, but I'd love to visit!! I'm hoping one day to visit on my book tour (tee hee)!
4. Do your children like you blogging about them? I think they love it! They often want to read or have me read the stories I write and they seem to enjoy them. Alexis and Little Billy aren't aware of all of the stories I have written about them, but those they become aware of, they are so proud - like they feel special that I would take the time to write about them. My twins get a kick out the stories I write about them because they think they are so funny and so they don't find it surprising that I would want to document their "funniness"! None of them seem worried that I would write anything they wouldn't like and I think that is because they KNOW I wouldn't.
5. What is the most embarrassing thing your twins ever did or said? I honestly can't think of anything they have ever done that was embarrassing - I can think of thousands of things they have done that have made me proud, though!
Thank you Baby-Amore' for all these great questions!
JCK asked:
1. Do you have a certain time of day that you blog? No. I blog all day long. If I have somewhere to go - I go - and then when I get back I blog. If I have chores to do - I do them - and then I sit back down and I blog. I do it all day long, from the moment I wake up, until the moment I go to bed. I do LOTS of other stuff inbetween, but I seldom just sit and do nothing - I usually blog. It's crazy - I know!
2. What does your husband think about your blogging? He induldges the time it takes. He likes to hear the stories. He hopes that all the time and energy I have invested will result in something other than blogging - I think. He knows that I enjoy it and so that makes him happy that I have found this thing that I love so much.
3. When did you know that you loved to write? I've always believed that I was a "good" writer, but I didn't know that I loved to write until right after I was pregnant with my twins, quit my job and stayed home (over 16 years ago). I was looking for an "outlet" for myself when I became a SAHM and found writing. I've written in one form or another ever since. Until blogging, it has only ever been for myself.
Thanks JCK for the great questions!
Natalie asked:
1. What do you consider your greatest accomplishment in life? Really - having snagged and held onto such a great man for 23 years! He has been the greatest gift in my life and having such a solid and wonderful marriage and such a great partner, friend and husband is an accomplishment I had hoped for in my life, but never really knew I could accomplish or sustain - does anyone?
2. Were their names you just loved when you were thinking of your children's names, but your husband hated them and you didn't get to use them? My husband "let" me name all the girls and was adamant about naming our son after himself (he's a Jr.). I would have loved to have had say-so in the naming of our son, as there were so many great names I wanted - but, I felt it was only fair. He had no preferences or objections when it came to naming the girls, he just left it up to me. It worked out nicely for me.
3. How did you meet your best female friend? All of my closest friends - I worked with. We all worked together at the same company year ago. We've stayed close ever since. I have other close friends that I have made over the past several years and the one I am closest too right now I met through my twins. My twins and her daughter are very close and I met her through school functions and such and we have become great friends!
4. What is your dream car? Well ... I've been driving a van for over 16 years - so I just dream about driving any car that is not a VAN! I'm a big TransAm, Firebird, Camero fan - I'd take anyone of those cars as a convertible and white.
5. What do your favorite pair of pajamas look like? Right now I am attached to a stupid pair that are like a pair of capri pants and tank top - they are lime green and bright pink and have Betty Boop all over them - they are ridiculous!
Thanks so much Natalie for these great questions!
Family Adventure (Heidi) asked:
1. Do you write blog posts in advance, or do you sit down to write a new post every single day? I write the story when it comes to me and then store it in my drafts. I probably have about 40-50 stories right now, saved in my drafts. I am always watching and listening for a story and when I hear or see something that I think will make a good story, I jot down a note about the incident and keep it in a file. When I have time to write, I will pull all my notes and see if there are any stories to be told from the notes I made. Sometimes, something happens and I run right away to my computer to write a story, because it hits me as being a particularly good story and I feel the need to write it right then. I won't necessarily post it the next day, though, usually it goes into my drafts and I hold it to post when the timing feels right. Some days I write 3 or 4 stories. Some days I don't write any. Many days go by where I don't write a story. Sometimes I wonder if another story will ever come - and yet they always do. I have lots of ideas in my "idea" folder and sometimes I pull that file and try to make a story out of one of those ideas that didn't seem like a good idea before. Some of the ideas will never be a story and some of them will be a story one day. I find that the story is either "there" to be told, or it isn't. I never force a story - it either comes easily or it doesn't. If it doesn't - I abandon the idea quickly and try to move on to another idea or walk away from trying to write a story at all. If I try to force it - it is NEVER a good story! And ... I NEVER try to search for story ideas. I have found that if the story is meant to be told - it will FIND me and hit me in such a way that I know it immediately. Not every funny or touching moment makes for a good story - no matter how hard I try to make it!
2. How much time do you spend commenting on other blogs on any average day? It's a lot of time. Everyday is different, but I'd say it's anywhere from 5-6 hours or more. I devote a lot of time to building up a relationship between myself and other bloggers/mothers/writers and feel it requires a lot of time and dedication to do that (you know!)! I have tried to find ways to do it as effeciently as I can, because I don't always have the same amout of time in one day, as I might have had on another. I usually do it early in the morning and late in the evening - not all day long - usually.
3. Do you expect your younger daughter to be close to her older twin sisters when they grow up? Why or why not? I think once my twins leave for college, there will be a time where she won't be very close to them. I think they will be close (I hope) when the twins are settled into their careers/marriages and have time again for Alexis. I think they will enjoy having a younger sister around - once they reach an age that they will be able to appreciate that youth and what she has to offer. I plan to do whatever I can to encourage all my kids to always try to be close to each other.
Thanks Heidi for all these great questions!
Forgetfulone asked:
1. What is the proper blogging etiquette when someone posts a comment on your blog? Comment them in return? Do nothing? I think this all depends on what kind of blogger you are and what your goal is. If you want to build a relationship with other bloggers or a larger readership, then I think it helps when you respond to their comments by leaving a comment on their blog. If you are a blogger that has no interest in building relationships or readership - then, it makes sense that you would not be interested or expected to answer a comment by leaving a comment. I don't think there is a "proper blogging etiquette" - I think it is what works for your own individual blog. There should not be rules, as everyone's blog is THEIR own individual space. I personally respond to anyone that leaves a comment - with a comment, because I think it shows that I am as determined to be as loyal a reader to your blog as you are to mine. I think that responding to comments with comments is a tool - to connect you to other bloggers. Everyone should feel free to use that tool anyway they want - no rules.
2. Do you write for a living? (other than blogging) No I don't. I never have.
3. Besides your own, what is one blog you just have to read everyday? I love a lot of blogs - and I read a lot of blogs - I DO! Now ... there is 1 great blog that I used to read pretty regularly - Woulda Coulda Shoulda - that I think is a really great blog, but I don't visit as much anymore just because I don't have the time. I do pop over from time to time and visit - when I have time. I am pretty busy and pretty happy reading and visiting ALL the great moms and writers that I have become friends with! I really don't have ONE that I have to read everyday - I have LOTS that I have to read everyday - and LOVE IT!
4. Does anyone in your family read your blog? Yes. My mom, dad, sister and BIL read it everyday. I have some extended family that also read it from time to time (cousins, uncles and aunts).
The Dragonfly asked:
1. Living in the South, do you miss the seasons? Autumn is my favorite season ... where you live do the leaves ahnge color etc.? I do miss the seasons. I love the snow and we never get snow here (we have, but it is rare). Our trees change color in the Fall, but unless you are in an area (like the hill country), you don't notice it. In the hill country it is beautiful and there are areas of Texas that are known for the beautiful fall display and people drive there to see the hills and trees change color.
2. As a mom of 4 you've had many different experiences with parenting. What is one thing you'd recommend I make an effort to do with my son while he's still small? I know you are reading to your son - so I won't say that. I think all of my children are very confident. If I had to say one thing I think I did right with my children, I'd say that - that I somehow helped them build tremendous confidence. Confidence will serve you well in life and I believe it is essential to success of every kind! But, it has to be a humble confidence - not one that is flaunted or misused. There is a fine line and that is hard to teach. Find a way to teach your child to be as confident as he can be - that would be my advise. If they have complete confidence in themselves and are taught to use that trait wisely - they will figure EVERYTHING else out on their own and all you have to do is guide them - not drag them or pull them or them following others - into life.
Thank you The Dragonfly for these great questions!
Thank you Kim! I wish we did live right next door to each other too!
Rachel asked:
1. If you had one day to do anything you wanted with no consequences, no restrictions - nothing - what would you do? I take over the world and I'd try to fix - really fast - all the things I THINK are wrong in the world!
2. If your life were a novel, what would the name be and what would the first and last lines in it say? If my life were a novel it would be titled, "An Ordinary Life". The first line would read, "She was a beautiful baby," and the last line would read, "It was an ordinary life, but anyone would consider themselves lucky to have lived a life such as this."
3. If you could give your children just one piece of advice that would actually stick, what would it be. I would advise them to spend lots of time idenitifying their potential and NEVER waste, not even one second, at developing and utilizing that potential to do good things in their lives, with their lives and in the lives of others.
Thank you Rachel for these really great questions!
One Scrappy Gal asked:
1. Did you think The Smurfs were creepy? HA! I don't I ever DID, but I DO now that I think about it.
2. Have you ever tried to lick your elbow? Yes.
3. What is one of your most embarrassing stories? Something humilitating that you suffered at the hands of one of your children? This is about the 3rd time I've been asked to remember some sort of embarrassing story and I honestly can't recall any - not even at the hands of my children. That's weird right? Like nothing strange or unpredictible ever happens to me. I guess it does - but no stories stand out as being all that embarrassing. Sorry - I have searched and searched my brain and I can think of nothing.
4. Tell the truth ... did you participate in hands across America? Or did you leave a gap, you heathen? No I did not participate - I left a gap.
5. What's your favorite pie filling? I'd have to say either pumpkin or pecan - maybe blackberry.
Thanks so much One Scrappy Gal for the great questions!
Jenng asked:
1. You mentioned church dresses, do you attend a specific church regularly? Yes I do. I grew up Baptist, but my family and I have been attending a Methodist church for the past year or so - pretty regularly.
Thanks Jenng for the great question!
Sting asked:
1. I would like to know how you and your hubby met and how he proposed? We met right before Thanksgiving, 1983 in a country western dance hall. He saw me as I walked by, turned to his buddy and said, "That's the girl I'm going home with tonight." We've been together ever since. It was love at first sight. God put him right in my path and I was smart enough to recognize what a gift he was! He never really proposed to me in the traditional sense - we were just meant to marry and one day we did. We had discussed it often and set a date and were married. There was no real proposal.
2. What was your first reaction when you found out you were pregnant with your twins? I believed I was having twins before I was actually told 4 months into my pregnancy. When I heard the news I was the happiest I had ever been in my life. I felt blessed. It was sheer bliss!
Thanks you so much Sting for these great questions!
Sniz asked:
1. Did you always know you liked to write or did you kind of find out through blogging? I've always believed that I was a "good" writer, but I didn't know that I loved to write until right after I was pregnant with my twins, quit my job and stayed home (over 16 years ago). I was looking for an "outlet" for myself when I became a SAHM and found writing. I've written in one form or another ever since. Until blogging, it has only ever been for myself.
2. I'm curious about how you decide what to blog about ... and how you decide on the "flavor" of the post ... whether you write it in 3rd person as a story, complete with creative imagery, or when you write realistic, "this happened today" posts. Know what I mean? I write the story when it comes to me and then store it in my drafts. I probably have about 40-50 stories right now, saved in my drafts. I am always watching and listening for a story and when I hear or see something that I think will make a good story, I jot down a note about the incident and keep it in a file. When I have time to write, I will pull all my notes and see if there are any stories to be told from the notes I made. Sometimes, something happens and I run right away to my computer to write a story, because it hits me as being a particularly good story and I feel the need to write it right then. I won't necessarily post it the next day, though, usually it goes into my drafts and I hold it to post when the timing feels right. Some days I write 3 or 4 stories. Some days I don't write any. Many days go by where I don't write a story. Sometimes I wonder if another story will ever come - and yet they always do. I have lots of ideas in my "idea" folder and sometimes I pull that file and try to make a story out of one of those ideas that didn't seem like a good idea before. Some of the ideas will never be a story and some of them will be a story one day. I find that the story is either "there" to be told, or it isn't. I never force a story - it either comes easily or it doesn't. If it doesn't - I abandon the idea quickly and try to move on to another idea or walk away from trying to write a story at all. If I try to force it - it is NEVER a good story! And ... I NEVER try to search for story ideas. I have found that if the story is meant to be told - it will FIND me and hit me in such a way that I know it immediately. Not every funny or touching moment makes for a good story - no matter how hard I try to make it!As far as the "flavor" of the story - that usually comes from my mood (somber or playful or serious ...) or the "mood" of the story I'm trying to tell. Or, the story just comes out easily in say, 3rd person. Sometimes I reword certain posts (in my mind) using different techniques, but I don't spend a lot of time on it. If it is meant to be in a unique or differnent tone then it will be pretty clear to me before I even sit down to write it.
3. How much time do you spend writing, editing, checking and commenting on other blogs, daily? Do you have a set time, or is it randon (i.e. 3 hours on Monday, but you only had 1 extra hour Tuesday, etc.)? I don't write every day. I write when I have a story to tell. It's kind of like my mind clicks into a "story-telling" mode. It is only in that mode at certain times - not when I want it to be. I spend about 1/2 an hour writing a story and 1/2 an hour editing - generally. I spend anywhere from 5-6 hours a day reading and commenting on other blogs - everyday. I usually do most of my blogging about 3 hours in the early morning and 3 hours or so in the late evening. I also do a little all day long - but not for long stretches - 1/2 hur here - 1/2 hour there. I usually have the same available time every morning and every evening - it's my days that I never know how much time I will have.
4. Is there a rhyme or reason to the frequency of your posts? i.e. do you have a goal to post something daily, etc.? I post a story everyday. I am considering taking weekends off and will probably start doing that pretty soon. Right now, I have lots of drafts in my file and so I don't feel the pressure of "coming up with a story". If my drafts dwindle down, I become more panicked and feel more pressured. If it got to the point that I didn't have stories in my drafts and the stories didn't come easily anymore - I would not post daily - JUST to post daily. I want my blog to showcase stories I have to tell - if there is no story, then I would not post until I have one.
Thanks Sniz for all the great questions!
Eagles Wings asked:
1. Do you like Chinese food? YES I DO! I love it.
2. If yes, what dishes are your favorite? If not, why? I like anything with pork or chicken or beef in it and lots of stir-fried veggies. I'm not crazy about seafood in Chinese food. I'm also not crazy about a lot of noodles, but I love rice and especially fried rice. I love crabmeat rangoons. I love egg rolls with that hot mustard. I love the sweet sauces.
3. Have you ever tried cooking Chinese food? I'm not a great cook and No, I have never really tried. I've made fried rice.
4. What are the basic manners you teach your children? Now, this is where I have failed as a mother. I've tried to teach them to be polite, courteous, respectful, kind, caring - all those things. They are all of those things, except they aren't don't have very polite sometimes. They seem to be good in public and with other people, but here at home - NOPE!
5. What are your favorite chores? I don't like any chores, but I don't mind working hard in my gardens or in my yard - I love those types of chores. I also don't mind clothes shopping.
Thanks Eagles Wings for these great questions!
dlyn asked: (Riley is right - I'm sorry, I forgot. I owe Riley a cookie)
1. Do you like to travel? I do like to travel - I am always planning family trips to this place or that and my husband try to get away on some traveling sort of vacation at least one a year without the children.
2. Where do, or would you like to go? I'd love to go to Greece or Japan or New York or the east coast of the U.S. I've been to Europe, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Grand Caymen Islands, Jamaica, Mexico, Canada and all over the U.S.
Kami asked:
1. Have you ever considered writing a book? Yes. I have actually written several books - I've just never had them published. I've written fiction, non-fiction and children's books. Maybe one day I'll actually publish a book.
2. If you did, what would it be, fiction or non-fiction? If I were to write a book right now - a new book - I'd write non-fiction. But, I'd also like to write fiction. The books I've written have potential - a couple of them, but I don't think I would seriously consider having any of those published - not now, anyway.
3. Who would be the main character? If it was non-fiction, it would probably be a book about my kids - they'd be the characters of the book - like my blog is. As a matter of fact, our lives might make a pretty good fiction book too - using those same kids as the main characters.
Thanks Kami for the great questions!
Karen Meg asked:
1. Have you ever been to Canada, and if not, when are you gonna come up for a visit? Yes I have and I loved it! We took a cruise in the Spring after 9/11 (what year was that?) out of NY that went to Canada. I can't remember all of our ports we stopped in right now (when I do, I'll come back an list them), but it was beautiful and I loved it! It's the only time I've ever been and I wasn't there that long, but I did buy a pair of white tennis shoes (I had forgotten to pack tennis shoes) in a little corner store in one of the towns and I still have those shoes. If I ever go back I will definitely come knocking at your door my friend - you are my first Canadian blogging friend and I love you!!
Thanks Karen Meg for the great question!
Eileen asked:
1. How do you deal with the stresses in your life? Well ... not very well, sometimes. When I feel stressed, it is usually because I have too much on my plate and on those days or during those weeks, I just do the best I can to get through all I have to do as gracefully and as FAST as I can! I like to talk out my stresses with my husband or mother or my friends. Usually if I can get the crap out of my head or off of my chest I can clear my head, set a plan or goal and refocus my energy on achieving that goal.
Thanks Eileen for this great question!
Annie asked:
1. What TV show is your biggest guilty pleasure? Right now I would say it is between LOST or Americal Idol.
Thanks Annie for the great question!
Jennifer H asked:
1. Do you remember the first song you and your husband danced to? Was it that night? I don't remember the song, but we did dance. He took my hand, led me to the dance floor and ... we danced! All night long - we danced (and kissed). I fell in love on that dance floor and I was in such a cloud I couldn't name one song that played that night if you paid me a million dollars. I wish I did know what that first song was.
2. What was the first concert you ever attended? I have NEVER been to a concert! I lived in Germany when I was in high school and we didn't have any concerts to go to over there. When I came back to the states, I probably could have gone, but I never did. I've only ever been to concerts (shows) of country music stars (Alan Jackson, The Judds, etc.). I know - pretty pitiful.
Thanks Jennifer for the great questions!
Bren J. asked:
1. If you could have chosen where you were born, where would you pick? This is a great question, but I wouldn't change a thing. I was born in a tiny town in the hills of West Virginia - where my mother and father's family's are all from (and some still there) and I love that place more than any place I have been on earth. I never lived there myself, as we moved a lot with my father being in the Military, but we went "home" often. I have said many, many times that it is the most beatiful place I have ever seen. I also wouldn't want to be born anywhere but in the U.S. I think I am so fortunate to have been born in America!!!!!
2. What do you hope is the greatest gift you will ever give your children? I hope I instill in them a strong belief in God - that has always been my greatest gift and that would be a gift for them as well!
3 & 4. Since you've been around the Mommy block a few times, what's the best piece of (serious) advice you would give to a Mama-Newbie? The best piece of silly advice? Serious advice would be to try your best to do whatever it takes to instill confidence in your child. If they have confidence and use it wisely - they will make their way in the world and be successful and happy at whatever they do. If you trust yourself and love yourself then ... you tend to be able to love others and treat others right. If you believe in yourself then it doesn't matter what others say or believe about you. If you have confidence then you tend to be clear minded about your goals and ideas and you are apt to make better choices. It's huge. Now, the best piece of silly advice: Never let your kids know that McDonalds gives away toys - NEVER!
5. If we ever get to Texas, can you arrange a pony ride for the Little goat or can we crash at your Lake House? Yes and Yes!!! Let me know when you are coming!
Thank you Bren J. for these great questions!
Maria asked:
1. You blog about your kids often, and I love to hear the stories. They seem like such GOOD kids! Have your kids ever done anything that really made you mad? (Just wondering, thought it might make me feel more normal). They couldn't be a better bunch of kids - really! BUT, the answer to this question is YES! Little Billy and Alexis fight a lot and that makes me mad. Courtney and Chloe seldom ever do anything I ask the first time and that makes me mad - constantly. No one in my family ever puts anything back where they got it and that MAKES ME CRAZY MAD! My kids are like anyone else's kids - they get into things, make bad choices, fight too much, yell all the time, make messes everywhere they go, etc. But, they are GREAT KIDS!! I think, honestly, that they are far better kids than I am a mother!
Thanks Maria for this great question!
Andrea asked:
1. What would Chloe, Courtney and Alexis' names have been if they were boys? Courtney and Chloe would probably have been Christian and Cole (I was big on the "C" names) and Alexis might have been Brennon.
2. And, what would Billy Jr.'s name have been if he had been a girl? Mallory. That was the name I had picked out for a girl.
Thanks Andrea for these great questions!
HRH asked:
1. What is your favorite blog to read? (Well, yours, of course!!) I could never choose one as my favorite. I like so many blogs, for different reasons - don't you!?
2. Have you always been a Texas? No. I was an Army brat that ended up here in 1978 and I have been here ever since! I consider myself a Texan, but I wasn't born here.
Thanks HRH for the great questions!
LunaNik asked:
1. So, when I e-mail TLC about your blog and suggest that they film your family for a reality show (I really AM going to do this btw), and they offer you a show, will you do it?? I read this question to my husband and the most frightened look came over his face - I am not kidding! I don't think I would ever want cameras filming our family, day-in-and-day-out. I appreciate your confidence in us - that we'd be entertaining and all - but, I don't think we would be reality-TV worthy! Nor do I believe I could stand for the world to see everything that ACTUALLY goes on in our house - we are CRAZY loud and most of the time nothing is FUNNY around here until WELL after it happens - you know - in retrospect! No, I don't think for one minute we could do it! I would write a book though - if you want to write someone about that (tee hee)!
Thanks so much LunaNik - you are one crazy girl and I love ya!
R Family of 4 asked:
1. Do you have a quote or words that you live by? I don't really have a quote, but I do often say, "Everything happens for a reason," and I believe it. I also constantly say that "Life is choices and our life is the result of the choices we make." I also find myself saying, in the course of conversations, "Well ... On the upside ..." and that is why I named my blog On The Upside. I am an "optimist" and always believe "There is an answer to every problem"!
Thanks R Family of 4 for the great question!
Leah asked:
1. Did you always plan to have a larger family? No I didn't. I figured we'd have 2 kids. Somewhere along the way - we had 4 kids and I don't know how that really happened, me being so organized and such a "control freak" and all (??)!
2. Do twins run in your family or was it just random fantastic surprise that you had twins? There are no twins in our family. And, Courtney and Chloe are what are called monoamnionic twins - the rarest type of identical twins (they share the same amnionic sac and the same placenta) and those type of twins (identical) are not the type that are hereditary - fraternal twins run in families.
3. You've talked about being an older mom; was it by choice or circumstance (didn't find the right guy until later, had problems getting pregnant, etc.)? I didn't want kids until I was 30 years old - I just never wanted them before then. After I had my twins, we waited 5 years until we decided to have another baby and little Billy was born. Four years later - our surprise baby - Alexis was born when I turned 40 years old. She was not planned, but she is the greatest gift and I couldn't imagine my life without her!!!! Any of them!! (My husband and I married when we were each 22).
4. What are your pet peeves? I can't stand to see or hear someone smacking their lips when they eat or chew gum! I don't like prentious people. I don't like jealousy - to see it or feel it or be on the butt-end of it! I don't like dropping things - it drives me crazy! And, I don't like to see or experience unfairness!
5. Is there anything in your life that you would go back and change? Yes! I would definitely have never started smoking. I know it probably surpises you that I smoke! I've quit several times (for long periods of time), but am smoking again. I have promised Alexis that I will quit when summer gets here and I will - this time for good!!
OHMommy asked:
1. Shoes tell a story. What were the very first shoes you purchased with your own money and what were the very last shoes you purchased? Describe them from one shoe lover to the next (details!)? Okay, when I lived in Germany, I was 15, 16, and 17 years old. I worked my very first job when I was 16 (waitress and cashier). When I lived in Germany, us kids wore a lot of "hip-hugger" jeans with embroidery all over them (I still have my favorite pair that I wore back then). Us kids were into ADIDAS tennis shoes - we called them AW-DE-DAs. ALL of us kids had our own special pair. I bought a pair of white with three green strips on the sides. I was very proud of those ADIDAS and wore them everyday with my letterman jacket! I also remember buying a pair of dark redish brown tie-up mokisans and when I didn't wear the ADIDAS, I wore the mokisans - those were the kids we were. Now ... I have come a long way from ADIDAS and mokisans. The most recent pair of shoes I have purchased is a pair of satin-y pink high-heels (3"). They are pretty, but will only go with the perfect outfit (that I don't actualy own yet). There is a wide strap just a over the toes (they are open toed) and then a thinner strap above the wide strap that goes over the top of the foot. They are covered in beads and sequins. I bought these shoes because they were on sale and I didn't have one single pair of pink shoes. They are cute and I can't wait to find an outfit to go with them (tee hee). Maybe I'll find a great outfit and bring them to SF with me and then you can see them in person!
Thanks OHMommy for the great question!
Cindy asked:
1. How did you start reading my very wonderful niece's Laughingleahloveslillies blog? I don't rememeber if I found Leah or if Leah found me, but she and I have been friends for many months. If I found her, it was probably by way of seeing her comment on someone else's blog. How ever we became friends - I am so happy we found each other!! I love visiting her blog and can always count on her to brighten my day with her sweet and funny posts! Her smile alone - makes me happy!!
Thanks Cindy for the great question!
Angela asked:
1. Why did you start your blog? In August 2007, I picked up my Writer's Digest magazine and read an article that a famous author wrote, wherein he suggested that any want-to-be writers, should have a blog. He referenced Blogger.com (and other blog hosts). I went on Blogger that very minute, created a blog, named it On The Upside (because that is something I am known to often say in conversations) and ... here I am. I love to write - I THOUGHT it would be a place for me to write. It is that, but ... it is SO MUCH more - as you all very well know!
2. Do your kids have accents? I don't think they have accents. I would imagine if they went to NYC or somewhere up north, people might pick up on a bit of a Texas accent - but, it is not an obvious Texas drawl!
3. And seriously, what is your favorite about being a mom? I used to think that I loved being a mom to babies (and I did!), but ... I am sooooooo enjoying being a mom to my teenage daughters. Not all of it is fun, but a lot of it is!! I think my very favorite part is watching them grow into the people they will become, someday! I find that I truly "like" all of my kids and that surprises me. I honestly thought that there might be a time when they might "rub me funny" - you know - that I might even get to where I loved them, but didn't "like" them all that much, because they would grow into people I couldn't relate to or be a certain way that would make me CRAZY! Now ... they aren't all grown yet, but ... so far - I really LIKE all of them, A LOT! That has to say something about me as a mother and I love that part!
Thanks so much Angela for the great questions!
Andrea J asked:
1. If you had 2 hours to do whatever you pleased, how would you spend it? Right now - because it is winter and I didn't get to go this year - I'd spend it snow skiing! I love to snow ski and missed going this year!
Thanks Andrea for this great question!
Lucille asked:
1. What is your biggest fear? I've said this quite often over that past several years. Because I think I am a pretty strict mother and because I don't always think I am the best mother ... my greatest fear is that my kids will leave home one day and ... never come back to me.
2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? This is a hard question. I wouldn't want to actually live anywhere but in the U.S., but if I could have a house in different places that I could visit for a while, I'd want one in the mountains, one in the tropics and one in Europe and then I'd also want a $20million yacht so I could get to all my houses (tee hee)!
3. What would you take with you if you were on a deserted island? I'd definitely take lots of paper and pens. I'd take my kids and husand. I'd take a hammer and nails. I'd take toothbrushes. I think that's all I'd need. We'd make due eating clams and coconuts. We'd build us a house. We'd be happy if we had each other and could manage without all the rest - even coffee and chocolate. I considered taking coffee and chocolate, but realized it would run out at some point, so decided it would just be better to go cold-turkey from the get-go!
4. What is your favorite song? Right now, and for the past several years, it is "Believe" by Brooks and Dunn. I love that song!
5. If you weren't blogging, what would you be doing? Well ... right this very minute if I wasn't blogging, I'd go get that shower I've been meaning to take for the past 2 days (tee hee!). If I weren't blogging everyday, I'd use that time to write and also work on my house (I'm always decorating/re-decorating) or yard. I'd spend more time doing crafty stuff or find some project to get involved in (I always have some project going around my house).
Thanks Lucille for all these great questions!
One Scrappy Chicklet asked:
1. I read that you have only lived in Texas 1/2 of your life. Where else have you lived? My dad was in the Army, so we moved a lot when I was growing up. I was born in West Virginia and have lived in Michigan, Colorado, Virginia (twice), Texas (twice) and Germany. I ended up in Texas in 1978 and have lved here ever since.
2. Which do you find more challenging, raising girls or Little Billy. And why? Girls - definitely! Maybe because I have 3 girls and just 1 boy. Definitely because they talk way more than boys and they have more needs and are more demanding. My girls are very good girls, but they require so much more attention than Little Billy does - in every way! Drama is big with girls and that makes every situations fifty times bigger and more important to them than it actually is - it is EXHAUSTING sometimes. They also just need/want more things (tampons, jewelry, shoes, clothes, books, CDs, bras ...), boys just don't seem to need/want as much - give Little Billy a sling-shot and a pile of rocks and send him to the back yard and he is happy for DAYS!!!!!
3. What is your one trait that you hope your children carry over to their adult lives? Definitely, self-confidence! I totally believe that if you use this trait wisely and fairly and humbly ... it has the potential to serve you in everything you do in your life and also serve those around you.
4. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas is my favorite holiday - definitely!
5. Do you have any "turning into my mother" episodes? I had a few of those a few years ago - now ... I HAVE DONE MORPHED INTO HER! Really!
Thanks Tami (One Scrappy Chicklet) for these great questions!
Girlymom asked:
1. So after thinking about what my questions would be, I guess I just want to know from the best ... how you do it all? Well ... first of all, I'd hardly say I am the "best" and I don't think anyone in my world would use that term to describe me either - but thanks. I do what I can - the best I can - AS FAST AS I CAN!! Being organized is the key ingredient to staying on top of as much as possible. I have always been an overly-organized (anal) person and that helps to "give the illusion" that you are handling everything. I, for the most part, do think that I am able to stay on top of most all that goes on in my/our world ... but, it has taken me these many years to get to the point where I have it "down"!! And ... I don't do it all alone. My kids and my husband and my family help with all of it! My husband is my best partner and I couldn't do anything that makes our lives go or keeps us functioning in a semi-straight line - WITHOUT HIM and all of his support and help!!
2. How bad are the teenage hormones? What surprises am I in for? I soooooo worried about this too! Since I am an older mom, I often joked that my girls would enter puberty at about the same time that I entered menopause and that was going to be horrible! I am not quite old enough for menopause and so that didn't really happen. And, as far as the teenage hormones, I have been pleasantly surprised that it has not - yet- been all that obvious or difficult to deal with. My girls are very much tomboys and so that helps, I think, as they are more interested in sports than boys and not all that into the girly stuff that can trigger tantrums and drama. It's not been all that bad. I think keeping them involved has helped - as they have less time for whining and crying about stuff - they just have to get it done - you know!
3. I hear the schedules are nutty, how do you manage the kids schedules, your life, family life and still have time to be witty with your blog? Sometimes the schedules are nutty! First - I depend on my husband to help out a lot. I don't know how women do it without the help of their husbands (and there are MANY that do!). Second - I just try to stay organized by keeping calendars and careful of scheduling appointments and such. Third - we limit the amount of activities each kid can be involved in and don't let them do sports in the summer months at all, so that is a break for the entire family and we just have all summer to have FUN! The older my girls are getting (and will be driving soon), this summer thing will change, as they will be able to choose more what they want to do and also be able to get themselves there. It all gets easier with time, really! You just learn where the problems are and find ways to eliminate or work with those issues. As far as my time - Since all of my children are now in school, I use that time for me. I do still have lots of responsibilites (house, business, yard, school committees, etc.) that I have to allow time for, but ... I make sure now that there is time in everyday to do the things I want/need/like to do. As long as I get everything else I am responsible for doing - I feel like the rest of the time left is mine to use as I wish. Therefore - I try to do all that other stuff REALLY FAST!!
4. I saw you are hoping to be a published writer (totally agree and would definitely read) besides a way to capture your family life, do you have other goals for your blog? I think this blog will always be where I write about my family and my life. I have thought about creating another/other blogs where I could write about other things and write totally differently. I don't know how I would ever manage more than one blog and that idea is just sitting in the back of my mind for now. As far as goals for this blog - I have visions of it being better than it is now. I'm pretty happy with it right now and feel it represents what I want it to say and is doing most of what I want it to do - I just imagine it could get better and better and that is what I continue to strive for.
5. Are you making any decent money from BlogHer? I only recently signed up for BlogHer and only in the past couple of weeks finalized all the required paperwork. I would be very happy if I made money from my blog, as it sort of jusifies that amount of time I have invested and my husband would be happy that I at least made a couple of bucks. I haven't made any money yet, as I only recently finalized the agreement. If I ever make any money, I'd be happy to let you know how that goes or you could and let me know!
Thanks Girlymom for all the great questions!
Kim-d asked:
1. When is your Birthday? My birthday is May 2nd.
2. What is the best material gift you have ever recieved? I have more than one, but none of them were purchased for me. I cherish a walking-stick that my grandfather (on my father's side) gave me, because he made it himself and used it often when he walked around on his farm. I cherish the veterinary bag that my dad gave me. It was his first medical bag that he used when he started his verterninary practice years and years ago. I cherish an antique doll that used to be my grandmothers (on my father's side) that she left for me. And, I cherish an antique doll that used to be my other grandmothers (on my mom's side) that my mom gave to me one Christmas. Also ... I consider my children to be the greatest gift of all - besides my husband! (And, I do like my wedding ring a lot!).
3. When we're young, we sometimes think we don't want to be like our mothers, but that changes (usually). What is the best way in which you have turned out to be JUST LIKE your mother? I wish I could say that I am as kind as my mother is, but I can't. I wish I could say that I am graceful and as beautiful as my mother is, but I can't. I wish I could say that I am as considerate and loving and friendly and tolerant as my mother is - but I'm not. Of all the wonderful things that she is that I can honestly say I have inherited and have actually achieved is that I think I am generous. I learned this quality from my mother and I think I am that. All the other things I have mentioned (and many more wonderful qualities) - I strive for - I'm not there yet on many of these, but maybe one day and can say that I am all those things and I was lucky to get that from her!
Thanks Kim for all of these great questions!
JenKneeBee asked:
1. You mentioned that you had only been to the concerts of country singers. Do you mostly list to country music? Yes - it is all I listen to, when I have a choice. When we are in the car with my teenagers, they normally take over the radio and we listen to their stuff and I don't mind most of it. At home, it's sort of the same, as they often have music playing in different rooms. I have come to really love Kelly Clarkson - her most recent album. I like lots of different music and all sorts of songs that aren't country, but when I turn on the radio I listen to country.
2. Who are your top 3 favorite muscians? I'm going to list singers, cuz I don't reckon I really know any specific muscians that I could name. I like George Strait, I like Trisha Yearwood and I like Garth Brooks.
3. Have you ever put mentos into a 2 liter of Diet Coke and watched it explode all of the place? No I have not and do not tell Little Billy about this little chemistry experiment as it is soooooooo something he would love!!
4. If you had a theme song, what would it be? What a great question! I think if my family were to be able to name this theme song, they might choose something like "CRAZY". I could pick the theme song for my life, it would probably be, "Who Let The Dogs Out?" If it was a theme song for me personally, I'd hope it might be, "Don't Worry - Be Happy" or "Believe".
5. If you were in a band, what would it be called? Definitely, "Headless Chicken".
6. Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with Jabba the Hut or Gollum? I'd probably choose Jabba the Hut as he couldn't probably actually catch me if I were running away from him!
Thanks JenKneeBee for these FUN questions!
Sharon Brumfield asked:
1. What is the most romantic gift you have recieved from your DH? My hubby is not a very romantic person - NOPE! I'm not even sure he can spell the word romantic. But, I guess the most romantic gift he ever gave me was my wedding ring, as he personally picked it out and I loved it. On our 10th wedding anniversary, we had my ring updated (actually replaced), but I didn't trade-in my original ring, I kept it to give to my son when he meets the girl of his dreams.
Thanks Sharon for this great question!
Hetha asked:
1. If you could be anyone for a day, who would it be and why? I don't think I would like his life, but I would want to be my husband for a day. I could then find out what it is really like to be married to me and hopefully see those things that I am and things I do that I might be able to change to make his life better. I'd also like be inside of him and learn how to be more patient and giving. I could learn a lot by being my husband for a day - especially how to be a lot better person!
Thanks Hetha for this great question!
For Love Of Home asked:
1. Can you name all of your elementary school teachers? Nope! I can only remember 2 - my second grade teacher's name was Miss Baily and my sixth grade teacher's name was Miss Walters.
2. What is your most embarrasing moment during high school dating? When I was 16, I was babysitting. I had asked my boyfriend Ritchie to come over to be with me. My parents would not have approved of this and somehow my father found out that Ritchie was there, came knocking at the door, I hid Ritchie in a closet, my dad searched the entire apartment with a flashlight and found Ritchie crouched down in the corner of the closet and asked him (politely) to go home. The next day at school everyone at school was talking about how Kellan's dad had found Ritchie in the closet - quite funny, but embarrassing.
3. What was your first car? I bought my first car with my income tax money, when I was 18 years old. It cost $1,200.00 and it was this little white Dodge Colt wagon. It was a stick-shift and I didn't even know how to drive a stick, so my dad taught me in one night and I drove it to work the next day, parked it on a hill, forgot to put it in gear and when I came out from work in the afternoon, it was at the bottom of the hill. My next car was the car I really wanted, a white Camero Berlinetta with blue interior.
4. Was there someone in your life that you always tried to be like? I didn't realize it until I was much older, but it would be my parents. I am very much like the both of them (combined) and it is because I KNOW I heard everything they ever said to me and watched everything they ever did. Looking back on my childhood I can see now that I was fascinated by how they lived their lives - and was also as a child.
5. What is your best friends' name? I won't use their real names, as there are 4 that I consider my very best friends. The first friend has the same first name as Priscilla Presley's daughter. The second one's name rhymes with oozie or doozie. The third one has the same first name as the blonde bomb shell that used to be on Baywatch and was married to Tommy Lee. The 4th one has the same first name as Posh Spice from the Spice Girls.
Thank you For Love Of Home for these great questions!
Gina asked:
1. What was your first car? I bought my first car with my income tax money, when I was 18 years old. It cost $1,200.00 and it was this little white Dodge Colt wagon. It was a stick-shift and I didn't even know how to drive a stick, so my dad taught me in one night and I drove it to work the next day, parked it on a hill, forgot to put it in gear and when I came out from work in the afternoon, it was at the bottom of the hill. My next car was the car I really wanted, a white Camero Berlinetta with blue interior.
2. What do you drive now? I drive "The Big Blue Van"! It is a Ford Econovan - with a conversion package on it. I've driven a van (mini or other) for the past 16 years - I'm ready for something other than a van - that is for sure!
3. If you don't drive your dream car now, what is your dream car? Well ... I've been driving a van for over 16 years - so I just dream about driving any car that is not a VAN! I'm a big TransAm, Firebird, Camero fan - I'd take any one of those cars as a convertible and white.
Thanks so much Gina for all these great questions!
Justabeachkat asked:
1. Is Kellan a family name? (I love it!) I happen to also love my name, so I am always happy to answer questions questions about it. My mother had a friend in high school that had the name Mary Kellan and that is where my name came from. My name is Kellan Renee, though. I have a cousin that had a little girl at the same time I had my twins (15 years ago) and named her daughter Mary Kellan - I was so jealous that I hadn't thought to use the name for one of my girls - I love it. They call her Mary-Kellan.
2. If you could go back and re-live one day, what day would that be and why? To choose one day, it would be to go back to the day that I smoked my first cigarette and not do that - for obvious reasons. If I could choose a thousand days, I'd go back and be kinder to my mother on all those occasions I was unkind!
3. If you could spend the day with one famous person, who would it be and why? It would be Jesus. I would just want to be near him.
Thanks so much Justabeachkat for these great questions!
Wonderful World of Weiners asked:
1. If you were forced to eat only one food item for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? Potatoes! I love potatoes and you can make potatoes so many different ways - so that would be my choice.
2. If you could pick a different first name, what would it be? Maybe Renee. That is my middle name and I really like that name.
3. If a movie was made about your life, what would it be titled? It would be titled, "Perpetual Motion". It's not a very romantic title or alluring title, but it best describes my life - always moving in one direction or the other and always in motion. 4. If you found the end of the rainbow, what would you hope to find? I'd not only hope to find Him there, I truly believe He is there - it would be God!
5. If you had to be one, would you rather be blind or deaf and why? I would choose to loose my sight, I think. I've never honestly thought about this, but when I did, it came to me quickly. I would miss seeing the world and the faces of my loved ones ... but I think I truly treasure the sounds in my life more. The laughter - the songs - the voices. I would miss the voices more than the faces, I think. I can't think about missing the eyes, because that makes me want to cry.
Thanks so much Hallie for all these great questions!
Sheri asked:
1. What is your favorite touristy thing to do where you live? Probably going to the Riverwalk. Our city is know for its Riverwalk and I always enjoy going there.
2. Where is your favorite area in Texas to go for a weekend getaway? We have a lakehouse at a lake in the hill country and I love going there - it is beautiful and resort feeling and so relaxing! I also love going to the Frio River - camping!
3. Were you popular in high school? I really wasn't! I always had lots of friends and boyfriends, but I wasn't popular.
4. Who was your first boyfriend and don't leave out the juicy details? I always had lots of boyfriends, but my first serious boyfriends' name was Junior. The first one I thought I really loved, you know. I was 16 years old and I lived in Germany. We went to school together and lived on the same post in Stuttgart, Germany. He was a good boyfriend. He was kind and sweet and cute and funny. We kissed a lot. I remember sitting on the stoop of our house with him, in the evenings. We'd hold hands and kiss - it was a lot of fun - all that making out! We were inseperable for about a year. I have only fond memories of Junior. My father was transferred (he was in the Army) back to the states and I had to leave Junior behind (I was 17 years old). It was very hard. We lost touch and I have never seen him again.
Thanks Sheri for all the great questions!
Amy asked:
1. What is your favorite book and why? I have never been much of a reader. I know, it's not common for those that love to write - not also to love to read. I do like to read and have read lots of books, but I don't LOVE it. I think the main reason is because I don't have the patience for reading - the patience to invest the time into a book. I don't sit for very long doing any one thing and reading requires a lot of sitting. I've never been one to SIT. I wish I was and could settle my "self" enough to sit and enjoy reading - but it is not in my personality. I have to be in motion, most of the time. Somehow, not being a "dedicated" reader myself - I have still managed to instill in my kids the love of reading - my kids love to read and be read to! I DO believe it is important and a gift! (I am most fascinated by Steven King and I love the stories that Ann Rice tells).
When I had my twins - 15 years ago - I think I was a pretty good mother.
I think I was like most new mothers, in that I did everything by the book. I kept them on a schedule, I burped them after each feeding, I gave them a bath nearly every single day, I put shoes and socks on their feet, I brushed their hair and put lovely pony-tails on the sides of their heads. I was a good mom.
The more kids I began to have, the farther and farther I began to stray from the "model mother" persona that I once resembled. Actually, it probably began to fade long before I actually gave birth to my son. The beginning of the downward spiral was - oh ... probably after about the first year after my twins were born.
So ... that means - if am going to be honest - that I have been a less than "model mother" for at least 15 years - giving myself credit for being exceptional for merely one year!
Yep - that sounds about right.
I have been very aware of this failing for many, many years. It bothers me, of course, and I often try to do better - but, I am just a mediocre mom in most regards. I yell - far too much! I complain - far too much! I set very high expectations - way too much! On some things - like school - I think I am pretty successful as a mother. And, in raising some pretty fun, loving and socially adept children - I have done well. But ... there are certainly some areas that I am miserable at and have failed pathetically. I am a mediocre mom. I know all this.
Yesterday, Alexis came over to where I was sitting on the couch and stood in front of me.
In her hand she held a banana.
I watched as she began eating this banana.
Suddenly ... I saw ... as she folded down the peel, the nastiest bruise on the side of the banana.
In my mind I thought, "Is she going to keep eating that yucky, bruised banana?"
She took another bite.
In my mind I thought, as I squinted my eyes and my stomach turned a flip, "Is she going to eat that yucky part of that banana?"
She took yet another bite.
In my mind I thought, "Should I tell her? Should I tell her?" and then I watched, through squinted eyelids (because I couldn't watch out-right or I felt like I surly might throw up), as she took a big bite - eating the yucky bruised part of the banana.
She stood in front of me and ate the whole banana - yucky, squishy, bruised parts and all.
I let her.
I never said a word.
I debated about telling her, but thought, "It won't kill her. If she likes the taste and the texture doesn't bother her - let her eat it. I wouldn't eat it, but it won't kill her. It shouldn't do anything to her, other than encourage astonishment from others if she ever does it around anyone outside of our house. That's okay - my sister has been known to eat boiled shrimp - shells and all (blech!) - Alexis will fit right in - as long as she always sits next to my sister. "
Being as Alexis is the 4th child - it occurred to me - while I watched her eat this banana - that I would have had a hard time eating - that I have never told that child about rotten fruit. Either that - or she chose to ignore this lesson and has decided to distinguish between those things she will eat and won't eat, on her own. I prefer to believe the latter.
This is just an example of how my mothering skills have seriously deteriorated over the years. Somewhere along the way, I stopped teaching the lesson about rotten fruit.
I'm certain there are many other lessons that I have failed to teach Alexis that I probably taught my first born children - because she is at the tail-end of our line of children and also because she has been stuck with me as her mother (*sigh*).
I hope she survives.
On the upside ... I guess with Alexis around, not much fruit will ever go to waste in our house. And ... when my kids eat boiled shrimp, I'll try to remind them to peel the shells off first. My poor sister - she didn't realize you weren't supposed to eat the shells until I told her (you should have seen my face when I saw her crunching on those shrimp and then how we laughed - HA!) - just this past summer - she's in her 40's. I wonder why our mother never told my poor sister to take off those shells? Maybe my poor mothering skills aren't my fault at all - maybe it's just a disease that has been passed down from generation to generation in our family. That's probably what happened. We're just defective or genetically challenged in the mothering department.
I know - I'm a mom (blah, blah, blah) and ... this is a Mommy Blog (blah, blah, blah) and ... some of you are probably screaming, "She's not seriously going to talk about SEX is she?"
I AM.
This is my blog and I'm not getting any younger and ... I WANT TO TALK ABOUT SEX!
(Mom and Dad - get on outta here - I'm fixin' to talk about SEX. Seriously - GO!).
I never write about such things as sex on my blog. I talk about my kids. I occasionally talk about my shoes. I talk about the cats and the dogs and the plants in my yard. I don't talk much about cooking or post recipes - cuz I iz not a good cook.
Today - I'm talking about SEX!
I'm all for SEX and have never had a problem talking openly about SEX.
Today - I'm talking about SEX!
When I married The Cowboy - we were twenty-two years old.
He was very cute!
We had SEX all the time.
We did!
This was back when I was also cute and tiny and sexy and ...
Drove a pretty, white, Firebird with T-tops, leather interior and a rockin' CD player (this was when CD players just came out in cars).
I'd drive around town in my beautiful sports car, wearing short shorts, tank-tops with no bra and have the radio blasting my favorite Michael Bolton, Soul Provider CD (shut-up Jen - he WAS cool back then).
When I'd get home ...
I'd search out The Cowboy ...
Whisper sexy nothings into his ear ...
Rub up against him ...
And, we'd ...
Fall down anywhere we wanted in our empty house ...
Or search out some exotic or risky location ...
And we'd ...
Have ...
SEX!
It's really all we ever thought about back then.
It's really all we ever needed to do to have FUN!
Now ...
I'm a mom (blah, blah, blah).
I have four children and the poochy tummy and stretch-marks to show for birthing those four children. I've been driving a van for seventeen - SEVENTEEN - years! I am lucky to find a bra that still has the under wire intact and ... I don't even want to talk about the underwear.
And ... what do we do for fun now?
Well, let me just put it this way ...
If I ever fall down on the floor in my empty house - I'm usually looking to retrieve lost Legos or Barbie shoes from underneath the TV cabinet or scraping gum off the tile floor with a butter knife.
And ... the only thing the word exotic applies to anymore is the animal print rugs we have on our family room floor and risky only applies when The Cowboy and I attempt to actually try to have sex when the kids are awake.
There is nothing - NOTHING - I have needed lately, more than ... TO FEEL YOUNG AGAIN.
You know?
So ...
The other night ...
I brushed my hair.
I brushed my teeth.
I slathered on some Obsession body lotion all over my not-so-firm-and-stretch-marked body and ...
I crawled into bed next to my snoring cowboy and I woke him up at 1:30 in the morning.
And ...
The Cowboy and I ...
HAD SEX!!!
*Okay - hold that thought. I have to go to the dentist. I'll be right back*
*Tick-tock*
*Tick-tock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
Okay, I'm back - sorry about that.
YES!
WE HAD SEX!
What was so amazing was ....
Well ...
Aside from the fact that we actuallyhadSEX ...
Was that ....
IT WAS FREAKIN' FANTASTIC!
It was that kind of sex we had when we were younger.
It was that kind of sex we had when we were in the earliest years of our marriage (BC -before children).
It was that kind of sex where you talk dirty (if that's your thing - it's our thing - there was dirty talking).
It was that kind of sex where there were lots of good, long, lust-filled, lustful, lustalicious ... kisses. YUM!
It was the kind of sex that young girls that drive cool TransAms have with really cute cowboys!
It has been a while since we have had this kind of SEX.
Too long.
Way too long.
LONGER THAN SHOULD BE LEGAL!
I don't know about you but ... kids sure put a cramp - a seventeen year cramp - in my SEX life.
I've tried to keep the spark alive (well except for that one five year stretch in there where I couldn't give a crap about anything other than sleep).
I've tried to shake things up from time to time to keep things interesting.
I've tried to put barricades against the door to our bedroom to keep those little monsters from storming in ...
It's not been easy *sigh*.
The Cowboy won't mind that I told you.
He's all about people thinking he's having sex.
He's all about actually ... having sex.
When we were through the other night, The Cowboy rolled over, sighed deeply and said, "That was just like when we were younger."
I passionately agreed and then said ...
"Yes ... it was," *breath breath* "just don't turn the lights on. I look like chit."
And ... I did.
But, that was only after.
During ...
I was beautiful and firm and sexy and ... 22 again!
On the upside ... The only thing that worries me is ... there's a really good possibility that this was all ... a dream.
Mothers, more often than not, put the needs and happiness of their children before their own. It's not a choice was make, it's just nature. It's like that mother duck - she knows all those little ducks are following her and every now and then I know she must turn around and count them to make sure they are all still there behind her. She probably inspects their little bodies to make sure each is getting the exact amount of food they should be getting to survive and if they are not, she will give them hers. I'm sure she scolds them if they wander off and panics when she can't find one and then she will go to the ends of the ocean in search of her lost duckling.
If it were a daddy duck left with this year long nurturing responsibility, I imagine there might just be a lost duckling now and then and he may even say, "Oh well, he should have kept up. Come on guys, let's get some grub." (Maybe I'm wrong about this theory).
I am the disciplinarian in our family. I know one reason Billy has left this daunting responsibility to me - because he is smarter than I am. It's another one of those things he figured out years ago. He realized that it was way too important to risk failure (the most important thing of all!) and he was smart enough to back away. I was just stupid enough to think I could handle the job and accepted the responsibility willingly.
And it's not like Billy is completely absent - he just stands far enough away from the line of fire to not get hit and close enough in case I really need him. But, truth be told, I'm the mean one and he's the nice one in our family. I've been known to say, "I know they think I'm mean. I know they may even hate me sometimes. And their father is the nice one. I don't care. If it gets them to where I think they need to go, that's okay with me. They don't have to like me, as long as they are successful and confident and completely sure of their convictions when they go out into the world.
My daughter, Chloe, said to me, in a recent serious talk we had, "I don't think you realize that you are at the top of my list of people that I care about ... the very top person. I care more about what you think of me than anyone else."
This is the most important comment any of my children have ever said to me.
It is exhausting keeping my children in that line - on that straight path. This comment Chloe made was her way of making me realize that she listens and trusts what I say. It was, to me, important because it was the first time I actually felt like someone had given me a high-five ... for being a mother. Her saying this, said that I was as important to her as she is to me and that is huge. To have my child see me ... as relevant, to not only her survival, but to her success, is monumental in the scheme of raising my children.
It's not easy to admit that I could reach the point of actually believing that any of my children might harbor hateful feelings towards me because they don't quite understand my motives and good intentions. Hopefully, one day, they will realize that all those lessons that seemed so mean or strict were just me ... frantically searching to the ends of the ocean ... to bring them back.
On the upside ... I am certain that it will all be worth it - totally certain!
