Fashion Models:
The Princess

Recently, at the lake, Alexis walked up and stood next to me. I looked down at her feet and I saw this:

I was wondering where that blue marker went!

One day recently, Alexis was on an exercise kick.

She came to me, out of breath and panting, and announced that she had run around the whole house. Not the interior of the house, but outside, around the whole house.

I complimented her on this accomplishment and told her that I was certain that I could not run around the whole house, easily. I warned her to be careful running in her flip-flops, as she could fall (and then I'd have to get her a d*** Band-Aid. I didn't tell her that) in flip-flops; real runners should wear sneakers or running shoes. She informed me that she could run perfectly fine in her pink Barbie flip-flops - I dropped it.

I asked her why she was running and she said, "I just feel like exercising."

She got up and went back outside, came back in panting again a short time later and announced proudly that she had now run around the house twice more. Once again, I congratulated her.

I'm pretty sure I know why she's on this sudden exercise kick, but I don't think she will say.

She is not fat, but she is fluffy; the fluffiest of any of my kids.

Here she is with her cousin - she's the fluffy one on the right - tee hee.

On the upside ... Someone has said something to her to put her on this exercise kick lately. That's okay - it won't hurt her - run Baby run.

Alexis has a head of hair.

Every single time Alexis comes from her bath, she retrieves her bottle of No More Tangles and her brush and comes to find me to brush her hair.

Well ... that's not exactly true.

Actually - she will get the spray and the brush, but she will seldom search me out to brush her tangled hair.

She hates - hates - hates - to have me brush her hair and will do anything to avoid having ME do it.

But ... eventually I will track her down, pull her out from beneath her bed (tee hee) and stand her beside me ... to smooth the tangles out of her ratty locks.

She is never - ever - happy!

She is never - ever - cooperative!

It is never - ever - fun - for either of us!

On this one night when I had finished up the CHORE of running the brush through her hair, she turned herself around and looked at her image in the mirror with a grumpy frown on her face and said loudly, "What's the matter with this?" pointing to the top of her head. "It needs a crack in it!" She pointed again at the slicked-backed hair and pooched out her lower lip ever so dramatically.

I giggled. "Uh ... you mean a ... part?" I said.

It was funny, but she refused to CRACK a smile.

On the upside ... I wanted to put a CRACK in it - from the get-go. No problemo - I'll give you a CRACK! And I did. And then ... she grabbed her No More Tangles spray and her brush, flipped her shiny, smooth hair over her seven-year-old shoulder ... and stomped on out of my room ... just like she has done every single other time I have ever helped her brush her hair *sigh*.

*Self portrait by Alexis - see that beautiful head of hair.*

-

It is a morning when my twins are at basketball practice.

Alexis and I are home alone, as Little Billy had gone to work on this day with his Daddy.

I am in a rush, as I have to go pick the girls up at their school and I scream down the stairs, "Alexis - you have to come and get ready to go. I'm going to pull out your clothes and you need to come and get dressed."

She heard what I said and yelled back, "I'll pick out something - I want to pick it out," and she came running up the stairs as fast as she could run - so as to catch me before I picked out her clothes.

I stopped looking in her closet and turned to leave her room. I turned back and said, "Okay - but don't pick out anything WEIRD - just pick out some pants and a shirt."

As I was walking down the hallway I heard her say, "What do you mean 'Anything weird?'" in her little diva voice, like how-dare-I-insinuate-that-she-has-no-taste!

I just smiled.

On the upside ... She did okay picking out her outfit on this one day. But ... for future reference ... anything weird includes:

• Capri pants or shorts ... when it is 40 degrees outside.
• Flip-flops ... when it is 40 degrees outside.
• The brown sequined jacket - that should really not be worn ANYWHERE!
• Your white patent-leather Sunday shoes with anything other than your Sunday dresses.
• Your black patent-leather Sunday shoes with anything other than your Sunday dresses.
• Your leopard print gymnastics leotard with any sort of tutu.
• Your black cowboy boots with anything other than blue jeans.
• Any Princess dress from your dress-up trunk.
• Any pajama bottoms that sort-of look like pants.
• Blue or red or pink or purple bandannas wrapped around your head or waist or wrists or ankles...

Do I need to go on ...

I try to set the best example for my children.

I am not always the one these kids should be looking to for guidance - really - but, I do the best I can.

I keep my house clean.

I keep our clothes clean.

I stand up straight and listen when I am spoken to.

I chew with my mouth shut.

I eat all the food on my plate.

I take off muddy shoes at the door.

I do my best.

The other day, I heard Alexis, talking to her cousin in the upstairs hallway of our house.

Alexis says, "When you get older ... you can color your hair any color you want."

My niece says, "I know," in her, don't-act-like-you're-the-only-one-that-knows-everything kind of voice.

Alexis ignored this snippy response, like I have taught her, and proceeded to say, "When I get older ... I'm going to color my hair pink."

My niece, still acting like she is following this conversation says, "Well ... that is just rid-ic-ulous."

Alexis, finding this snippy comment a bit more than she was prepared to just ignore, says, "You're rid-ic-ulous," in her I'm-going-to-have-pink-hair-if-I-want-to kind of voice.

My niece, tiring of this rid-ic-ulous discussion, turns and walks away, but then swings back around and says, "Well ... I've never seen any real person ... with pink hair. You can't have pink hair!"

Alexis, running after her cousin and almost in tears, screams, "I CAN HAVE PINK HAIR IF I WANT TO HAVE PINK HAIR!" at the top of her six year old lungs.

I am standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking up, and Alexis sees me.

She bows her head and shuffles her feet. She says, "Well ... I can," in a very tiny voice.

On the upside ... I just smiled up at her and shook my head and said, "Yes you can." And then I said, "And ... you can also go and apologize to your cousin for screaming like a crazy person," and she did.

Honestly, I don't know who this child has been watching, where she believes it necessary to SCREAM sometimes at the top of her lungs to get her point across ...........

Oh, now I remember ......... that would be ME!

All over the world right now - IT IS SNOWING!!

In some areas of the United States - there have been record snowfalls this year.

We have not had even one snowflake here at my house - not even one.

It is highly likely that we will go through this entire winter and not see one flake of snow.

But ...

It is still nippy outside.

Most days it is downright COLD.

On Monday, February 18th - President's Day - it was in the 60's - very sunny and yet 60 degrees is still chilly in my book. I was so chilled that I wore a long pair of pants with a long sleeved shirt to match. When I was in my house, I kept a blanket thrown across my lap to keep the chill away.

At about 1:00 in the afternoon, I went to get in my car to go pick up my son from his friends' house.

Alexis - who was in the front yard playing with my niece - came running up to my car window - running in her bare feet, by the way - running towards me in her short sleeved shirt and cropped to the knees capri pants - running with the breeze blowing through her loose hair. She stands on the driveway ... looks up at me with those dark brown eyes and she says ...

"Can we go swimming today?"

I am in my van, with my sweater buttoned to my chin and the heat cranked up on high to take the chill off in my car and I say, "Wwhaat?" (*blink - blink*)

More excited now, honestly believing this is a reasonable and possible request, she asks again, "Please ... can we go swimming today?"

I shake my head in astonishment, "Alexis - it is FEBRUARY!"

She, with the Texas sun shining on her face and with no clue that FEBRUARY means that it is still WINTER, says, "So, can we? I'm so hot and look - the sun's out?" she points up to the Texas sky.

I say, "Uh - No."

"Maybe when you get back," she tries to reason with me.

I say, "I don't think so," putting exaggerated emphasis on all the syllables in these words.

"Maybe when it's Spring?" she has such a hopeful look on her face.

"Yes," I say - and drive away; leaving her and my niece playing barefooted on the driveway... on a sunny ... February day.

On the upside ... Lucky for me she doesn't really know when SPRING is and ... the way our weather goes here in Texas - it will either definitely be warm enough for her to go swimming when Spring actually arrives - or ... we could have an ICE STORM or the first freak snow of the decade. I will just cross that bridge when Sring gets here. For now ... SHE IS NOT GOING SWIMMING ON THIS PRESIDENTS' DAY - I don't care how sunny it is outside - Sorry Hon.

Now ... run get mommy a blanket.

She takes a deep breath.

She puts her tongue to the back of her teeth.

She opens her mouth.

She says ... "It's warm. It's warm back here, now. Did you turn on the heat? I love those pretzel things. I'm so hungry. And thirsty. I can't find my other shoe. Are we going to Dollar General? If I'm real good, can I get something? If I'm real good, starting right now, not starting when we left the house, but starting right now, then can I get something? La la la ..la la la la...la la la lu lulu la. I'm hungry. La,la la la la. We're not going to Dollar General. This is the way home. I thought we were going? Why did you say we were going? I wanted to get me something. Have you seen my other shoe?"

Me ... in the front seat ... just listening, not saying a word. She never stopped long enough for me to say a word.

I was impressed.

She covered a variety of topics.

She might as well have been all alone, as she didn't need a soul there to carry on this discussion.

On the upside ... I think she's in training. Boys don't do this jibber-jabber that girls do - at least my son has never done it. She's in training for the real world - when she grows up. I couldn't be more proud ... she's coming along splendidly.

Alexis and my niece are playing in Alexis' bedroom.

I am in my room, helping Chloe with a project we have sprawled out on the floor.

Alexis and my niece have decided that Alexis will spend the night over at my niece's house and so Alexis is gathering her things to take for the sleep-over.

They are goofing off.

It is getting later and later by the minute.

They are getting out toys and playing and I can hear the ruckus from my room.

I scream, really loud and speak really fast, "Alexis. You need to get your stuff. You need to get your stuff together. You need to get your pajamas and your toothbrush and your underwear and whatever toys you want to take with you. And ... you are not going anywhere until you clean up that mess you two have made in that room," I say this all very fast - I say it and I mean it.

Chloe looks over at me from across my room with a look that says, "Could you be anymore obnoxious?" and it makes me smile.

I hear some scrambling going on down the hallway in Alexis' room and then I hear her say, very casually, and a little uppity, "Well ... you don't have to yell," and she mocks me, "Yada, yada, yada - yada, yada, yada ..."

The moment we heard her, Chloe's eyes met mine and we both fell back on the floor laughing.

On the upside ... Sometimes - I just need to ... simmer down!

It is busy around our house at bedtime.

There is much screaming from the Mommy of the house.

"Get up here!"

"Didn't I ask you to get in the shower?"

"I ran your bath - go get in it ... for heaven's sake!"

Last night - Alexis meandered into my bathroom, where I had run her a bath in my whirlpool tub - that is now officially "her" bathtub, by the way, as she is the only one that ever uses the thing. I hear her splashing around.

Suddenly, I hear a strange noise and I stop what I am doing to listen.

I conclude quickly that the sound I hear is her messing with the blinds on the window above the tub.

I walk into the bathroom.

I see her. She is standing on the edge of the tub, her shiny body glistening in the florescent lighting - her naked 6 year old booty flashing me as I walk through the door.

"Whatcha doing?" I ask, and it startles her.

She continues to peek through the blinds, one hand balancing her slippery body, the other forcing the blinds apart with her fingers. She says, "I want to look outside to see if the stars are out tonight," she is very determined.

"You are going to fall," I walk towards her and guide her back down into the tub, pinching her chubby tooshy as I do and she giggles. "Why do you need to see the stars," I ask, as I dry off my hands.

She smiles and says, "I wish I could see a wishing star," and she then scoops up a handful of bubbles from the water and slathers them on her pink tummy.

"What would you wish for," I ask, watching my tiny girl, "If you did see a wishing star - what would you wish for?"

"To be Hannah Montana," she says, as if it would actually be so - to wish it once on a star and then - poof - she would be transformed.

I smile and say, "I don't want you to be Hannah Montana. What would I do then? Where would my little Alexis go?" she is giggling now. "And ... I think you wouldn't really want to be her. You are so much prettier than she is. And so much smarter."

She rolls over and stretches her whole body beneath the warm water and bubbles, puts her chin in her hands, rolls her eyes and says, "I'd say No. She's in high school."

"Okay ... so maybe she's a little smarter - but you are lots prettier," I am now leaning over the tub and washing her arms with the rag.

She looks up at me with those big brown eyes, takes the rag from my hands and says, most confidently, "I'd say Yes. Yes I am."

On the upside ... If those wishes on stars really did come true and if Alexis had seen one - shooting through the sky last night - I'd have walked into my bathroom and Hannah Montana might very well have been soaking in my bathtub. I'm glad she wasn't. I'm glad wishes don't come true that easily. What would I do without my sweet little Alexis? What would I do?

My niece spends a lot of time at our house.

On this one night, she was sleeping over with Alexis (because they don't see enough of each other already).

The two of them were running up and down the hallway making way too much racket and I finally thought to suggest that they put in a movie and go SIT DOWN SOMEWHERE AND WATCH THE THING!!

So ... they agreed.

Before they actually settled down to watch the movie, Alexis emerges into the hallway again, opens the door to my room and says, "Can we go get a quick snack before we start it?"

I shake my head and say, "I guess so."

As they skipped off towards the kitchen, I saw Alexis turn to her cousin, smile sweetly and say, "That way ... we won't starve." (*skip, skip, skip, skip, skip ...*)

So they won't starve - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

On the upside ... Aren't they the cutest things? Alexis could probably live 25 days on the reserves she has stored in her chubby tummy alone, and if my niece could get to those reserves - they could both live at least 12 1/2 days each. But ... if getting a quick snack would encourage them to SETTLE DOWN AND WATCH A MOVIE, then - go for it - get a snack - I wouldn't want anyone to starve, for goodness sake. (*Do ya want me to make ya a BA-ritto?*)

Alexis is in my room, lying on the floor and playing with the calculator out of my purse.

She looks up at me and asks, "How old will you be when I'm 25?"

Too much math for me to actually figure out, so I just say, "Very old."

Without hesitating she says, "Maybe even dead."

(*sigh*)

Then she says, "How old is Granna, anyways? 91?"

I say, "Noooo."

"If she was 91, she couldn't even hear us. She'd say, 'Eh eh, eh-eh (*cups her hand to her ear*),'" she giggles.

Then she says, "How many days have you been alive?" all the while, pecking numbers into the calculator in her hand.

I grab the calculator, key in a few numbers of my own and say, "16,967 days."

She throws herself to the floor and laughs. She sits up, her eyes get real big and she says, "How many?" in a really astonished voice.

I say, "Give me back my calculator and ... GET YOUR LITTLE SIX YEAR OLD BUTT ... OUT. OF. MY. ROOM!"

She laughed all the way down the hallway.

On the upside ... My only solace is that she didn't really understand any of those numbers and she won't remember any of them for more than a day.