It was a day of rain.
The day started out as most days. My children rolled out of their warm beds and made their way out of my house to go to school. In their paths they left discarded pajamas, cuddling blankets and wet towels on the floor. I went through my quiet house and put all things back in their places and then sat down to enjoy my morning coffee.
I watched the rain through the window.
To some ... the rain provokes feelings of loneliness - sadness. With it's dreary skies and its gray face. To me, it is a relief. A time for the world to cleanse itself. A time for me to slow down.
Peaceful.
Quiet.
It is dark in my house as the day wears on, and yet it is the middle of the day. I am always sort of stunned by how the darkness soothes me and how easily I am drawn into it. I have to wonder where this joy comes from. Wonder why I am at home in the darkness.
I want it to rain.
I want there to be this darkness in the middle of the day - to envelope my house.
To envelope me.
I like the way it makes me feel.
Cozy and warm ...
The silence of it ...
The calming affect it has on me.
I think the rain cleanses me - like I am the earth.
It's as if the darkness renews me - like I am somehow pulled back into the womb.
I do appreciate the warmth of the sun, but ... I love it when it is sometimes replaced by the rains.
I am alone, I know ...
running towards the darkness ...
embracing it ...
yearning for it ...
allowing it to seep easily ... into my joyful soul.
I am alone ...
And yet ...
I am peaceful.