Can you say M.I.C.E.?
Can you say S.N.A.K.E.S?
Can you say ... CITY GIRLS HAVE NO BUSINESS IN THE COUNTRY ON ANY RANCH WITH HER FOUR KIDS AND NOT THE RIGHT CLOTHES OR SHOES TO BE RUNNING AROUND WITH THE COWS AND THEIR POOP AND ARMADILLOS AND SNAKES AND GUTTING DEAD DEER HANGING FROM BEAMS IN THE BARN AND ALLIGATORS IN THE NEAR-BY POND AND MICE!!??
Okay ... take a breath.
That's what we did this past weekend. We ... went hunting. Well, I didn't actually do any hunting and neither did any of us girls ... but that was the point of this trip to our friends' ranch. For the boys to go hunting.
The first time we were invited to the ranch, my girlfriend said, "Now, Kellan ... you know that it is a ranch, right? You probably should not wear flip-flops or heels to the ranch. You know this ... right?"
I didn't grow up on a farm ... but I'd been around my grandfather's farm many times in my life. I knew that you didn't wear heels! I debated about just wearing a pair - with a sparkly top and foo-foo hair, just to mess with her. I didn't.
And I didn't this time either. But ... I did not pack the right stuff. Tennies are not really appropriate for the rough terrain or the cow patties and ... I really should have packed a hair net.
There are MICE at the ranch!
There were MICE the last few times we went as well. Along with bats in the attic and critters roaming the yard. But ... I never actually saw a MOUSE until this hunting trip! It's better when you don't actually see the MOUSE!
And ... these MICE are in the house. They live there. It's a log cabin and they have moved right in - because humans don't actually live in the house - they just visit. The MICE own this house. I saw MICE. I saw many MICE. It is a MOUSE-HOUSE.
I really don't like mice - particularly. I especially don't like them in my house (we've had one or two in our house)! I wasn't so disturbed that the mice were in the house(because it's not my house) and that I occasionally would see one dart across the floor and then vanish into a crack (there are lots of cracks in a log cabin house). This ... I became used to - really. You just have to put it out of your mind - hope one doesn't come running straight at you - hope you don't see them carrying off anything important. You just have to deal with it - it's a ranch house. You are at the ranch.
It was the NIGHT-TIME MICE that wore on me. If I would see a MOUSE (and I did) ... just before going to bed, say ... in my room (and I did) ... I could not get the MOUSE out of my head.
This was exhausting ... the last night we were there. I managed through the first night fine - not thinking much about the MICE and just fell asleep. The second night, however ... I definitely decided that I have WAY TOO BIG hair to sleep anywhere where there are mice liable to run across my face, trip and become entangled in my BIG OL' hair-sprayed hair! After this vision hit me - I COULD NOT SLEEP! Even ducking my BIG OL' HEAD under the covers - it was no help! It was physically and mentally exhausting! And HOT!
I needed a hair net. A cafeteria-lunch-lady-hair-net! Or a swim cap. Because ... I realized, that it was my head that I did not want the MICE to come near. Not that I wanted them crawling under the covers with me (Nope!) - but it was really my head that I kept trying to protect.
It was useless!
My husband ... lying next to me in the MOUSE-HOUSE-bed ... slept just fine. He apparently had no hidden MOUSE fears and neither did any of my kids. All asleep.
When daylight came ... I woke up. Somewhere in the restless night, I fell asleep. I don't know if MICE were on me when I slept - I have to imagine that they were ... saying stuff, while sitting on my chest, "Stay away from that one's hair ... get caught in that and you'll never get out."
On the upside ... Aside from the NIGHT-MICE ... we had a blast! We spent a wonderful weekend with our best friends. We saw a rattle snake up close, armadillo, alligators, raccoon, cottontails, cows (and baby cows too), deer and 7 of the most adorable baby owls nesting in the barn. My husband and son shot a buck (antlers will be mounted for my son), my friend and I rode motorcycles and talked a lot, the kids wandered around, took walks, took pictures, watched movies ... and we ate - lots! We had fun and the next time I go I will just have to remember to take something to cover my head. At one point, I asked my husband to go get me a straw so I could breath fresh air from under the covers - he just laughed and fell asleep (I wasn't kidding).
