I know - I'm a mom (blah, blah, blah) and ... this is a Mommy Blog (blah, blah, blah) and ... some of you are probably screaming, "She's not seriously going to talk about SEX is she?"
I AM.
This is my blog and I'm not getting any younger and ... I WANT TO TALK ABOUT SEX!
(Mom and Dad - get on outta here - I'm fixin' to talk about SEX. Seriously - GO!).
I never write about such things as sex on my blog. I talk about my kids. I occasionally talk about my shoes. I talk about the cats and the dogs and the plants in my yard. I don't talk much about cooking or post recipes - cuz I iz not a good cook.
Today - I'm talking about SEX!
I'm all for SEX and have never had a problem talking openly about SEX.
Today - I'm talking about SEX!
When I married The Cowboy - we were twenty-two years old.
He was very cute!
We had SEX all the time.
We did!
This was back when I was also cute and tiny and sexy and ...
Drove a pretty, white, Firebird with T-tops, leather interior and a rockin' CD player (this was when CD players just came out in cars).
I'd drive around town in my beautiful sports car, wearing short shorts, tank-tops with no bra and have the radio blasting my favorite Michael Bolton, Soul Provider CD (shut-up Jen - he WAS cool back then).
When I'd get home ...
I'd search out The Cowboy ...
Whisper sexy nothings into his ear ...
Rub up against him ...
And, we'd ...
Fall down anywhere we wanted in our empty house ...
Or search out some exotic or risky location ...
And we'd ...
Have ...
SEX!
It's really all we ever thought about back then.
It's really all we ever needed to do to have FUN!
Now ...
I'm a mom (blah, blah, blah).I have four children and the poochy tummy and stretch-marks to show for birthing those four children. I've been driving a van for seventeen - SEVENTEEN - years! I am lucky to find a bra that still has the under wire intact and ... I don't even want to talk about the underwear.
And ... what do we do for fun now?
Well, let me just put it this way ...
If I ever fall down on the floor in my empty house - I'm usually looking to retrieve lost Legos or Barbie shoes from underneath the TV cabinet or scraping gum off the tile floor with a butter knife.
And ... the only thing the word exotic applies to anymore is the animal print rugs we have on our family room floor and risky only applies when The Cowboy and I attempt to actually try to have sex when the kids are awake.
There is nothing - NOTHING - I have needed lately, more than ... TO FEEL YOUNG AGAIN.
You know?
So ...
The other night ...
I brushed my hair.
I brushed my teeth.
I slathered on some Obsession body lotion all over my not-so-firm-and-stretch-marked body and ...
I crawled into bed next to my snoring cowboy and I woke him up at 1:30 in the morning.
And ...
The Cowboy and I ...
HAD SEX!!!
*Okay - hold that thought. I have to go to the dentist. I'll be right back*
*Tick-tock*
*Tick-tock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
Okay, I'm back - sorry about that.
YES!
WE HAD SEX!
What was so amazing was ....
Well ...
Aside from the fact that we actually had SEX ...
Was that ....
IT WAS FREAKIN' FANTASTIC!
It was that kind of sex we had when we were younger.
It was that kind of sex we had when we were in the earliest years of our marriage (BC -before children).
It was that kind of sex where you talk dirty (if that's your thing - it's our thing - there was dirty talking).
It was that kind of sex where there were lots of good, long, lust-filled, lustful, lustalicious ... kisses. YUM!
It was the kind of sex that young girls that drive cool TransAms have with really cute cowboys!
It has been a while since we have had this kind of SEX.
Too long.
Way too long.
LONGER THAN SHOULD BE LEGAL!
I don't know about you but ... kids sure put a cramp - a seventeen year cramp - in my SEX life.
I've tried to keep the spark alive (well except for that one five year stretch in there where I couldn't give a crap about anything other than sleep).
I've tried to shake things up from time to time to keep things interesting.
I've tried to put barricades against the door to our bedroom to keep those little monsters from storming in ...
It's not been easy *sigh*.
The Cowboy won't mind that I told you.
He's all about people thinking he's having sex.
He's all about actually ... having sex.
When we were through the other night, The Cowboy rolled over, sighed deeply and said, "That was just like when we were younger."
I passionately agreed and then said ..."Yes ... it was," *breath breath* "just don't turn the lights on. I look like chit."
And ... I did.
But, that was only after.
During ...
I was beautiful and firm and sexy and ... 22 again!
On the upside ... The only thing that worries me is ... there's a really good possibility that this was all ... a dream.
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