So ...
I am out shopping.
I am rummaging through the racks admiring all the pretty clothes.
I hear a voice ...
She is whining ...
She is whining ...
She is really whining ...
I look over inconspicuously, because she is already making enough of a scene without me adding to the chaos with any sudden movements of my own.
She is saying ..
"I just love this outfit.
It's just perfect.
It's just darling.
It's just adorable.
It's just exactly what I've been looking for.
I just have to have it.
But ... I can't find my size.
You don't have my size!
How could you not have my size?
All you have is a size 6 and a size 8 and a size 8 and a size 10 and ... you don't have a size 4 anywhere!
I need ... a size 4.
Is that a size 4 on the mannequin?
OMG - that's a size 4!!!!!
I have to have it.
That's just my size.
A size 4!
I FOUND IT LOUISE - THEY HAD A SIZE 4 ON THE MANNEQUIN!!!"
And ...
Just nearby ... there is a fat woman that is not a size 4 just minding her own business.
There she was just watching this episode unfold with her mouth nearly hitting the floor and the look on her face was saying ... "Just. Shut. Up! We don't care that you're a freakin' size 4! We don't care if you've always been a size 4! We don't care if you just lost 500 lbs. and are NOW a size 4! We fat people don't care! Shut the hell up!"
Suddenly, the fat woman reached down, removed her shoe, and flung it across the store and hit the obnoxious size 4 right in the head!
And then ...
I walked over ...
And waddled away.
On the upside ... Okay ... so I exaggerate just a tad, but this was pretty darn close to what I heard. If this was you I saw doing this crap - KNOCK IT OFF! Yes - I'm a little jealous that you're a freakin' size 4 - but, worse than that - you look like an idiot announcing it to the whole world of women. We don't need to hear the words come out of your mouth - we can see that you are a SIZE 4 - we know a SIZE 4 when we see it! When you say it - for all the world to hear - we just HATE YOU MORE!
That is all.
-