Over the course of the past several months, since I've been blogging - there is something I have come to realize.
It is not something I want to admit.
It makes me downright - CROTCHITY - when I think about it too much.
What it is ....
Is that ....
I can't hardly say the words ....
Okay, okay, okay ... I'm one of the oldest moms on the blogging block (*hangs head and sobs pathetically into her lacy hankie*).
I am!!
Now ... I'm not saying how old I am and that's just because I don't want anyone to think they can start pushing me around because I'm "elderly" - ya know. But ... for those of you who haven't figured my out my age by now - take my word for it - I am mostly hanging out with a bunch of "baby-mommy-bloggers" - and I mean that in the most envious way!
So ... on occasion, I will go to someone's site and they will have one of those celebrity look-alike thingys. You know - where you can find out what celebrity you look like. Every single comparison I have ever seen of one of my young-mama-blogging friends, has these women compared to the most beautiful and youthful celebrities - it's a no-brainer, really!
So ... just out of curiousity, the other day ... I decided to give it a try - do one myself ...
See who I looked like - Me - the old-mommy-blogger ...
And ...
I was - to say the least - A BIT DISAPPOINTED!!
Honestly - there were two "older" celebrities I could have chosen to put on this wheel (you choose 8 of 10), but opted not too - because they were old and ugly! I chose these "beauties" above - well, because ... those were my choices (*hangs head and sobs like an old woman into her lacy hankie*).
Now ... some of these celebs aren't all that bad looking (except for that Celia Cruz picture - what the ...?), it's just that I apparently look like just ANYBODY! I might look a bit like any one of these people - but none of these people look like each other at all - like on the other celebrity look-alike tests I've seen on other sites. Usually, if you are blonde - then all your celebs are usually blonde too, about the same age and be-autiful. But ... mine? No. Mine are like - CONFUSING? Like the machine couldn't quite figure me out - couldn't quite get a GOOD match on me (*hangs head and sobs like an UGLY old woman into her lacy hankie*).
So ... I decided to try it again - using a different photo of myself ...
Thought for sure it would turn out differently - make me feel better ...
But .......
I AM NOT KIDDING!
WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!?
It just got CREEPY AND WAAAAY worse!
Okay, so is there an upside here?
Let's see ...
On the upside ... First, in order to analyze this mess ... I have to eliminate those characters I don't even know, like - Celia Cruz, Mylene Farmer, Helena Carter, Darius Milhaud, Pierre Bouvier, John Dewey, Nikki Cox and Franz Lehar - GOOD LORD!
Of those celebs I am left with - let's just just be HONEST - I am no Jennifer Aniston, Lucy Lawless, Kim Cattrall or Oprah Winfrey - HELLO!
And ... I can't sing or dance worth a crap, so that pretty much eliminates the lovely Wynonna Judd and Liza Minnelli.
So ... now I am down to - James Stewart and Monica Lewinsky (Am I a stuck in an episode of The Twilight Zone here?).
Okay - just because I am a WOMAN I am going to eliminate James Stewart.
So ... that leaves me with - YOU GOT IT ...
THE BIGGEST CELEBRITY SLUT IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATE'S GOVERNMENT!
That's who I look like - Monica Lewinsky - minus the cigar (tee hee).
(*holds head up high - wipes tears from her obviously masculine face - tells herself the machine must have malfunctioned or that there was some sort of young-mommy-bloggers conspiracy going on - puts her hankie in her bra - decides to concentrate on the fact that Jennifer Aniston was in the mix - makes note to self that lots of men look like women - swears to not submit a third picture - knows her odds are not good at this point - wonders if Bill Clinton would notice the resemblance - wipes that thought out of her mind - thought is still there - tries harder to wipe that thought out of her mind - takes hankie out of her bra - sobs pathetically ... like a SLUT CAUGHT WITH HER SKIRT HIKED UP ... IN THE OVAL OFFICE*)