I am standing in the checkout line at Big Lots. I'm scanning the store (shelves and bins near to where I am standing, far off items on high upper shelves, jewelry in the case just behind me) - so as to make sure there wasn't something I missed that I truly must have. It's not enough that I have two baskets full of stuff (most of which I didn't even need - I only came in for a Birthday card) ... when ... my eyes spy a woman. She's right at the end of the isle, about to cross my line of vision. And then ... she does.
"Oooooh my goodness," I think to myself. "She needs to rethink her wardrobe."
She is an older woman, maybe about my mothers age, and she is in a not-so-striking, bright purple suit, patent leather red purse and shoes and a hat - ooooh the hat. It was tall. It was red with purple trim around the brim. It had a large flower.
The woman continued to walk out of my view, I checked out my $108.91 worth of Big Lots crap and headed out to my car.
There ... off in the distance, coming out of the Chinese restaurant down the strip from the Big Lots ... are six or eight other elderly women ... all dressed in bright purple and red outfits - including interesting hats.
I was suddenly oh-so-relieved for the woman I had seen in the Big Lots ... concluding now that she was part of some odd hat-wearing-club and then began to quickly feel as though I was in the middle of a Dr. Seuss' Go Dogs Go riddle: "Do you like my hat? I do not like your hate. Good By. Good By."
On the upside ... Those ladies were perfectly happy in their bright colored outfits and fancy hats. One day, maybe that will be me with all my girlfriends ... eating Chinese ... wearing gaudy hats and patent leathered shoes and someone elses daughter will be thinking, "Oh my ... she needs to rethink her wardrobe." I think that might just be happening right now. Good-by, Good-by.