My precious little boy got an "F" on a science test this past week. Yep ... a BIG OL' "F"!
So ... I plant myself firmly in his path as he walks through the front door after school, position my hands on my hips (trying very hard to ignore how cute he looks with his sweaty hair in his face, tennis shoes untied, dirty t-shirt way too large for his skinny little body, large orange backpack weighing him down ... and that smile that says, "I had a pretty good day") and I say to him, "So ... I saw on Parent Connection (our way here of seeing our kids' grades daily - GREAT TOOL!) that you got an "F" on a science test."
The happy smile fades from his face and the stringy shoulders that were carrying the load of that heavy backpack, fold into a wiry slump as he drops the pack to the floor at his disheveled feet. He looks up at me, past long girl-like eyelashes, begins to shuffle his feet from side to side (like he's speed skating) and then he says, "What test?"
I quickly see him as the "F" boy again (and not the child I adore that I had seen through distorted motherly vision), and say to the child in front of me, "What do you mean, "What test?"?" in a not very I'm-having-a-pretty-good-day, tone.
He continues to speed-skate in front of me, now moving his skinny arms in theatrical rhythm with his busy feet and says, "I dunno what test you're talkin' about," and I see his eyes twitch in a familiar way that indicate he is making a conscience attempt to squirm away from this conversation as quickly as possible.
I say, still blocking his futile efforts to skate past me, "You don't remember taking a test?"
And he says, very seriously, "What's-the-matter-with-an-F-every-now-and-then?" lyrically, like there should have been musical notes attached to the words.
I wanted to laugh. I wanted to shake him. I wanted to congratulate him on succeeding at distracting my anger. What I did was ... whip out my "F's-ARE-NOT-ACCEPTABLE-EVER-EVER-EVER!" speech (lasts about 8 minutes) and then ... stepped aside and let him skate away.
On the upside ... he still has an "A" in Science, even with the "F" he got on that test and ... I'm pretty certain I got my point across ... as my speeches are quite well thought out and are soooo effective and appreciated by all of my children ...
IS IT CAN BE HUGS TIEM NOW PLEES?