When I think of red pants, I think of Balmain's as seen on spanish stylist Barbara Martelo, or of Isabelli Fontana's airport shoot with Terry Richardson for Mango. But here, Daga Ziober (Marilyn, NY) puts her own spin on things with red pants, a buttoned up oxford, and hint of animal print built into her rolled up blazer sleeves.
I do love a pair of 3" high-heeled shoes.
I love Waitress-Red lipstick.
I have my nails done every two weeks - filed and buffed to acrylic perfection.
I wear my hair poofed up as big as it will go and then spray it with a ton of hairspray - BIG HAIR!
I wear rings on 4 fingers - sometimes 6 or seven and I wear earrings - the bigger and gaudier - the better.
I wear necklaces and bracelets and belts that dangle and shine!
I like polka-dots and bright pink and teal. I love RED!
I wear Obsession, Safari, Dune, Anais Anais and Tresor - on my neck, in my hair and up my skirt.
I like flowers on my dresses and skirts that flow all the way to the floor.
I like sandals in every style and color.
I like Rhinestones!
I like sequins.
I like pearls and diamonds and gold.
I like gems and feathers and beads and crystals - if it dangles or shimmers - I want it on the front of my shirt, on my shoes or purse or jeans.
I wear make-up.
I like bras and matching panties.
I like purses and bags and clutches.
I know what all these things say about me ...
They say ...
That I am a GIRLY GIRL!
What I don't know is ...
What ...
LOVING ...
This ----
Says ...
About me??
But ...
I LOVE THIS SHOW!
I HAVE WATCHED EVERY EPISODE AND I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE ... THIS SHOW!
I love the theme song ...
I love the boats and crab ...
I love the dirty, foul-mouthed, rotten toothed, crab-fishing - GUYS ...
I love everything about this show!
On the upside ... It says something about me - I'm just not sure what. But ... I often change into my black and red polka dot, silk pajamas, crawl under the sheets and down comforter of my nice cozy bed, fluff the pillow behind my head of BIG HAIR ... and I am swept quickly out to sea, to the deck of a crab boat, in the arctic sea ... watching these men fish for crab.
I have loved Dallas and Knots Landing, I have loved Star Trek, I have loved Seinfeld and I have loved Sex And The City! Right now ... I love THE DEADLIEST CATCH!
The purse! The belt...the gloves...the details....she's originally from Lithuania.
I try to set the best example for my children.
I am not always the one these kids should be looking to for guidance - really - but, I do the best I can.
I keep my house clean.
I keep our clothes clean.
I stand up straight and listen when I am spoken to.
I chew with my mouth shut.
I eat all the food on my plate.
I take off muddy shoes at the door.
I do my best ...
Go HERE to read the rest of this post.
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"How long is our pool?" Little Billy asks loudly while sitting at the end of the pool with his feet dangling in the water.
Me - I'm sitting under the umbrella at the pool-side table, "I don't know - maybe 25 feet long" I say, eyeing my son.
"I'm gonna swim it," he jumps up excited. "I have to do a swim test for Boy Scouts - I've gotta get some practice," he begins to flex and swing his arms about his head - preparing to jump in. "We have to swim 75 feet," he hesitates. "Or ... 75 yards," he stops again. "Or ... 75 meters," he looks in my direction, "I think it's meters," he concludes, still looking at me - like I have the foggiest idea what he is talking about.
I smile.
He says, "So ... How many meters is it?" fully expecting me to know this answer. "How many meters is our pool?"
I look to my left ...
Nobody there.
I look to my right ...
Nobody there.
Nobody around - but me and ...
Little Billy.
Nobody around to help me with this answer.
NOPE - Not a soul.
I am on my own!
"Son ..." I begin. "Son ..." I reach up - put my hand in front of my face to block the sun from my eyes - I say, in a high pitched squeal, "I don't know about meters and such! I don't know!"
"I'll just swim back and forth 3 times - maybe it's feet," he dives in the pool.
"You do that," I chuckle.
On the upside ... "Where's a doggone Boy Scout with a ruler when you need one?" I mumble, as I watch my little son do a bit a flailing across the pool - water splashing everywhere.
I look to my left ...
I look to my right ...
Not a Boy Scout in site anywhere! Well ... except for the dark-headed one swimming laps in my pool - that is. The one that needs to STOP ASKING ME THESE MATH QUESTIONS I WILL NEVER KNOW THE ANSWERS TO!
I am in my tiny, little laundry room that is right next to the family room.
As much as I detest doing laundry, I do like my cozy, little laundry room as it has a door on it and since the entire On The Upside family believes this is MY room (because no one has a clue how to do laundry, will go near the laundry room for fear I will ask them to do laundry, never takes it upon themselves to sort, load, fold or hang any laundry ever, whatsoever, at any time!), I can normally wander in there - into MY little 8ft. x 6ft. space -close the door and ESCAPE for brief moments of solitude.
I sort clothes.
I load clothes.
I fold clothes.
I hang clothes.
It's mindless work, really, so ... I am content to hang out there for ten minutes or twenty minutes at a time and escape from all human contact and just let my mind wander and be massaged by the swish - swish - swish of my Kenmore washing machine and the drum - drum - drum of my Kenmore dryer.
It is peaceful, in a laundromat sort of way.
It is simple work and I enjoy moments of simple.
It is relatively quiet and, while my hands are normally quite busy, my rattled brain is offered these daily minutes to be cleansed and massaged back to some semblance of sanity because ...
This is MY 6ft. x 8ft. space in our house.
This is MY little oasis (while not at all tropical and lacking a hammock or even a chair and there are no fruity, umbrella drinks or handsome cabana boys).
But ...
It is often MY refuge ...
That is ...
Unless ...
Alexis searches the house ...
Opens the door ...
And invites her seven year old ...
BOUNCY
LOUD
RAMBUNCTIOUS
TALKATIVE
self ...
Into MY 6ft. x 8ft world.
*sigh*
"Hi Hon."
"Knock - knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock - knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Banana who?"
"Knock - knock."
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Cabana who?"
"NO - banana!"
"Oh, yeah."
"Now I have to start all over again. Knock - knock."
*sigh*
"Who's there?"
"Banana."
"Hey - let's play hide and seek," I interrupt this JOKE! "You go hide."
She runs off happily and searches for the best hiding place ever. I can hear her LOUDNESS still ... even over the swish - swish - swish of my Kenmore washer and the drum - drum - drum of my Kenmore dryer.
*Laundry lady quietly tip-toes over and closes the door to the tiny laundry room and pretends to count, but really ... REALLY ... she escapes back to the islands, where she is lying in a hammack beneath the tallest and shadiest palm trees enjoying the soothing sounds of the ocean waves as they lap playfully against the beach . She opens her eyes only briefly to see her handsome cabana boy walking toward her in his blue and white floral swim trunks, bare, beach-bronzed chest and and sun-bleached hair and ... in his hand is a PINA COLADA with a pink umbrella stickin' out of the top of the frost covered glass and on his gorgeous face is a smile that says, "I am here to serve you - can I get you anything else."*
On the upside ... Yes - yes you can.
-
About fifteen years ago, my husband and I sat in the living room of our first home with a realtor. We discussed in depth what sort of new home we were looking to buy, once we sold our house. I pulled out a small real estate book - complete with house photos and descriptions. I flipped through the pages and noticed this one particular home that I really liked. I took my little book and walked over to the realtor and said, "This house. This is what I want."
The realtor looked down at the brochure. And then, he looked down his nose at me, curled his lip and said, "Wouldn't we all."
The photo in that brochure was of a house behind a large brick wall with security gates on the front. I liked the look of the house because of the wall, as I had two small children, a dog and a husband with redneck tendencies (loves working on old cars). While this was a relatively old house, this seemed like exactly the kind of house we were looking for.
We promptly dismissed that realtor and coincidentally went on to buy that house and have lived in that house - the one that realtor presumed we could not afford - the one that realtor assumed was beyond our means - for the past fifteen years.
Never judge a book by its cover or a house by its security gate.
This was not a fancy house. This was not a house beyond our means. But, at the time, the realtor looked at the picture of this house with the large brick wall and security gate and promptly decided that we were too young for such a house - too poor.
This past week I went to north Texas visiting colleges with my twin daughters. These are the same twins that prefer to wear t-shirts to blouses, athletic shorts to skirts and Converse sneakers to ballet flats.
We toured a fine university in the morning and I requested a conference with one of the counselors right after our tour was done. Courtney, Chloe and I went in and made ourselves comfortable in his office. We went through our list of questions about the university and how it might offer academic programs my girls are interested in.
It was pretty clear, early on, that the counselor had his own ideas about my girls - about me. Mind you - he never asked about their qualifications, their test scores, their class ranking or anything else about their resumes. He simply offered answers in a tone - while well desquised behind a well rehearsed smile - that was condescending.
At one point, I inquired about academic scholarships - like some of the other universities offer to high achieving prospective freshman. He quickly responded by throwing out high SAT/ACT scores, high class rankings, blah, blah, blah, that a prospective student would have to meet before even being considered for "such" scholarships. And then, he sort of dismissed the whole academic scholarship discussion.
I kept my eyes on his smug face and my mouth shut. When we left, I never told my girls, but to myself I thought - I guess UT or Texas State or any of the other ten universities we are considering, might just be thrilled to take my - basketball shorts, t-shirt, Converse wearing twins ... and offer them substantial academic scholarships ... when they find out that these two girls are in the top 6% of their class of 600+ and their ACT and SAT scores rank them in the top 98% in the nation.
Never judge a teenager by the clothes they wear! And, seriously, never do it in front of the mother paying for the college tuition because ... she might just scratch your university off the list based on your arrogant attitude alone.
We know when others look down their noses at us and ... they know when they are doing it. We didn't buy that house fifteen years ago just to spite that realtor, it was merely a coincidence. But I kept that real estate brochure. It was my way of reminding myself of what it felt like to be looked down upon and also how it felt to prove somebody wrong.
(The house is the one circled on the lower left)
I don't know yet where my girls will be going to college, but what I do know is this ... they will probably still be wearing Converse sneakers and basketball shorts. Maybe even a tattoo or piercing in their nose or eyebrow. And ... they will likely graduate in the top of the class because that is who they are. They are not the clothes they wear, but they have their own styles, are paving their own paths in this world and are very confident and comfortable with who they are.
This will be my last post about the BlogHer conference.
Honestly, I don't think anyone cares about it for days and days and days - so ... I will try to recap as much as I can - quickly - and be done with it for this year.
I went into this conference with several goals.
Some goals I met - Like ... meeting many of the bloggers that I have known for a while and wanted so badly to meet and also reaching out and meeting new ones as well. Like ... stepping way out of my comfort zone to take this trip alone - travel from Texas to California alone on a plane, take shuttles and taxi's stay in a hotel by myself, introduction after introduction to one stranger after another. Like ... networking as much as possible. Like ... attending as many sessions as possible and learning as much as I could about blogging. Like ... ENJOYING MYSELF!
Some goals I didn't meet. Like ... meeting EVERYONE! Like trying to feel comfortable in most any situation. Like ... putting on my best face - all the time. Like ... doing and seeing everything I really wanted to see and do. Like ... not taking enough pictures!
I did okay.
I'd have to say that I am 97% satisfied with the whole trip. And that 3% I was not satisfied with was ...
How lonely I felt when I would return to my room after a long day. My great big beautiful room with the king sized "Heavenly Bed and Bath" - the one with the great view of the city from the 7th floor - the one that I had all to myself with a desk and large TV and my own bathroom and bar and closet. I so wanted to be ecstatic when I would walk through that door each evening to retire. Instead - I immediately noticed how quiet it was - how alone I felt. I wanted to enjoy every moment of solitude on this trip and smother myself selfishly in the lavishness of it all and I was surprised to hear the ... silence ... and not be happy about it. I missed my children and their NOISE! And ... a certain cowboy to share that big bed with!
And ... I'll just be honest ---
You CAN NOT bring 1000 women (a few men) together and expect it to always be delicious coffee, scrumptious chocolate and rose scented bubble baths! NOPE! There were certainly moments - that is for sure.
I won't go into those moments that happened to me - specifically - but ... I will say:
Okay ... that's enough being mean. I AM SURE that some of these things others could say about me as well.
All in all - the women I met were wonderful and interesting and friendly. But ... there were a few ...One of the things I loved about meeting so many of the women I have only known through their blogs is that I now have a face and personality and voice to associate with the words I read on their blogs - VERY COOL!
I also enjoyed seeing how people were so different than I expected - taller or shorter or prettier or uglier or smarter or funnier - very interesting!
It was also fun learning their real names or their children's real names. And learning where they live and more intimate details about their lives than they are willing to share on their blogs.
As far as the conference goes ---
BlogHer did an EXCELLENT job - in my opinion - at organizing (WOW!) this massive conference! The food was excellent - the accommodations were wonderful - the parties were fabulous - the sessions were informative and useful! And ... the sponsors were impressive! I think the conference was everything I hoped it would be and so much more and WELL worth the money and time!
And then ...
There was San Francisco!
I did not get to see much of the city, but our hotel (The Westin St. Francis) is right downtown in Union Square and every time you stepped out on the street, you were right in the midst of everything. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing and feeling how ALIVE the city is.
On Sunday morning, I took a taxi (by myself) down to Pier 39/Fisherman's Wharf. I saw Alcatraz off across the bay, The Golden Gate Bridge through the fog, the sea lions lounging in the water, the outdoor market, the wonderful shops (did a little shopping) and after I had seen as much as I had time to see, I stopped by the small little restaurant that my sister recommended and had a bowl of clam chowder and a shrimp sandwich - THAT WAS DELICIOUS! I'm so glad I made time on this last day to go down to Pier 39 - it was a treat!
Here are some of the pictures I took:
The founders of BlogHer speaking to the 1000 attendees.
Sesame Street was at the conference and had their own room. You could go there and meet the Muppet's, Grover and Abby Cadabby, and also meet the fabulous puppeteers behind those fantastic characters. It was very cool!
They also allowed time for people to have personal tapes (free) made with the Muppet and I had one made with Abby for Alexis, as Alexis' Birthday is coming up at the end of the month. Abby talked directly to Alexis and sang Happy Birthday! It was very COOL! I also got Abby's autograph for Alexis.
A San Francisco trolley car outside our hotel. Is there anything cooler or more fun than this these trolley cars???
China Town - from my taxi. I learned that China Town in San Francisco has the largest population of Chinese anywhere in the world - outside of China. And, that there is also a China Town in Oakland, CA.
Pier 39 - duh!
The beautiful shops on Pier 39.
The fabulous market on Pier 39.
Of course I had to stop in the Ghirardelli Chocolate shop - WOW!
I made it to Fishermans Wharf!
The view of Alcatraz from Fisherman's Wharf. It is not as close as it looks in this picture - I zoomed in so as to see it better.
The foggy view of the Golden Gate Bridge from Fisherman's Wharf.
Here are some of the ladies from the conference - lounging in the sun. Sorry - not really!
This was one of the most delicious lunches I have ever had! My sister begged me to try and go to this little restaurant down on Fisherman's Wharf and so I did. It was so DELICIOUS. My sister said, "Go there! And ... if you can figure out how to bring that chowder and sandwich back with you on the plane - DO IT!" Honestly - I'd almost fly back to San Francisco just to go back, sit at this little restaurant and eat this lunch again - looking out across the bay! It was the PERFECT ending to a fabulous trip!!
Thanks for tolerating my ramblings about the conference and being so thoughtful and encouraging and kind with your sweet comments. It was quite a great experience and I hope we ALL can go next year. I have not heard where it will be, but I plan on attending and I hope you will too!
This is Daniel an independent fashion designer and Thomas a hair stylist that works in Williamsburg.
