I slung my straw purse over my shoulder, grabbed my bottle of cold water and headed out the front door.
I was wearing a pair of ratty shorts, a tank top and flip flops I usually wear while working in my yard.
My hair was a mess, as I had rolled out of bed that morning and opted to clean the house over taking a shower.
I put on my black sunglasses, the ones with the rhinestones sprinkled around the frame, as they are big and would hopefully distract from my messy bed-hair and face bare of make-up.
I walked down the front steps and along the sidewalk.
With car keys in hand, I stepped onto the driveway and made my way toward my car.
I yelled across the driveway to my 5 year old twin daughter, "Here - start the car," and I tossed the keys into the air.
It was at that moment - when she stood in front of me - tall and poised - mature and beautiful - confident ... that I realized that she was no longer a 5 year old child - no longer my sweet baby girl - no longer standing behind me .... anymore.
It was at that moment that ... I saw her as a young woman - as a flower standing tall - as an image of my younger self and not the child I have always looked after.
It was at that moment - as the sun enlightened the beauty of her face and the keys floated through the air, as if in slow motion, that ... I saw her.
Not behind me.
Not beside me.
But ...
Out in front of me ...
Standing at the threshold that will lead her ...
Away from me ...
Into her own world.
It was a sad awakening, but ...
She had a smile on her face.
On the upside ... I have sadness, but ... I have done my very best to prepare her. She is a flower and she will do well. I can only hope that the foundation I have layed for her is strong and holds tightly the memories and lessons to serve as her touchstone. I can only hope that that smile ... goes with her!
I love you, Courtney.